Shorter Blogging Tories: "On this sombre day of reflection, we'd like to take a moment and remember all the white people who lost their lives on 9/11."
This theory has Bush, Cheney, CIA, NSA, FBI, other USA military and a van full of Israeli Mossad agents setting up the Arab patsies as diversionary suckers while in reality taking down the buildings with pre-planted explosives, stealth C-130 gunships, invisible cruise missiles, stolen gold bullion, manipulated stock market 'put' calls and dead jihadis in New York who magically appear alive and well in Egypt.
Often called "the Nakatomi Towers Theory". -----------------------
2. LIHOP "Let it happen on purpose".
In this scenario, Cheney takes control of the command centre and has the USA airforce stand down and let the Jihadist flyboys do their thing. Cheney is overheard chortling under his breath in his underground bunker bathroom, "Woohoo! Saddam here we come! We can have the price of oil up to a hundred a barrel inside five years, and I'm rich, RICH, RICH -- and you can all go fuck yourselves!"
He proceeds to urinate on the walls, spelling out "Kill-4-Oil" in his usual piss handwriting script. There appears to be blood in the urine.
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3. SAWTUA "Sit around with thumb up ass".
In this Three Stooges Meet the Keystone Kops version of events, George W. Bush remains seated in a schoolroom reading 'My Pet Goat' to conceal the shit stains covering the entire backside of his Brooks Brothers trousers. He vaguely recalls the presidential daily briefings warning him that this was going to happen, but he vividly remembers the golfing, fishing and brush clearing he performed on his newly acquired 'ranch' while setting a record for vacation days by a US president.
Inspired by Rodney Dangerfield's "We're all going to get laid!" anthem in Caddyshack, George Bush prepares his Bullhorn on the Rubble Pile Speech finale, "Let's all go shopping!" .
5 comments:
Funny how we heard nothing on the anniversary of Katrina...
Oh my God. I had completely forgotten that September 11th meant anything.
I even watched a program on the Discovery Channel yesterday about 9/11 conspiracy theorists and it didn't click.
We're not hearing much today about how the Shrub administration squandered international good will and sympathy post-9-11, are we?
I know a number of people within the local Chilean community. The date 9/11 has a completely different significance for them.
Oh, you mean THAT 9-11...
1. MIHOP. "Make it happen on purpose".
This theory has Bush, Cheney, CIA, NSA, FBI, other USA military and a van full of Israeli Mossad agents setting up the Arab patsies as diversionary suckers while in reality taking down the buildings with pre-planted explosives, stealth C-130 gunships, invisible cruise missiles, stolen gold bullion, manipulated stock market 'put' calls and dead jihadis in New York who magically appear alive and well in Egypt.
Often called "the Nakatomi Towers Theory".
-----------------------
2. LIHOP "Let it happen on purpose".
In this scenario, Cheney takes control of the command centre and has the USA airforce stand down and let the Jihadist flyboys do their thing.
Cheney is overheard chortling under his breath in his underground bunker bathroom,
"Woohoo! Saddam here we come!
We can have the price of oil up to a hundred a barrel inside five years, and I'm rich, RICH, RICH -- and you can all go fuck yourselves!"
He proceeds to urinate on the walls, spelling out "Kill-4-Oil" in his usual piss handwriting script.
There appears to be blood in the urine.
---------------------
3. SAWTUA "Sit around with thumb up ass".
In this Three Stooges Meet the Keystone Kops version of events, George W. Bush remains seated in a schoolroom reading 'My Pet Goat' to conceal the shit stains covering the entire backside of his Brooks Brothers trousers.
He vaguely recalls the presidential daily briefings warning him that this was going to happen, but he vividly remembers the golfing, fishing and brush clearing he performed on his newly acquired 'ranch' while setting a record for vacation days by a US president.
Inspired by Rodney Dangerfield's "We're all going to get laid!" anthem in Caddyshack, George Bush prepares his Bullhorn on the Rubble Pile Speech finale, "Let's all go shopping!" .
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