Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Deja vu all over again.

If any of the current bogus outrage over "Tough Guy" Troy Scheffler and his alleged persecution by those nasty liberals sounds vaguely familiar, well, we here at CC HQ have been down that sorry road before. Let me entertain you. (It goes back almost three years, so you may have to fill in some of the broken link content with your imagination. It shouldn't be hard.)


And here.

No, no, don't thank me -- spanking right-wing butt is what I live for.

: If you really need to see the overwhelming assholitude of the ideological Right who start shrieking hysterically before they have a fucking clue as to what's going on, well, you can't do better than Wizbang's Paul here. Seriously, this is an idiot who aspires to be divorced from reality.

None dare call it "censorship."

When Dems want to condemn Rush Limbaugh's asinine, troop-hating, spittle-flecked commentary, well, that's a "scary abuse of power." On the other hand, when Clear Channel makes a conscious and political decision to diss the Boss, well, that's just the free market having its say, or whatever it is they call it these days.

And, yes, I'll be popping down to my favourite local tunes store to pick up a copy of that baby today. 'Cuz that's just the way I roll.

Rock on.

Concealed carry for me, but not for thee.

Have you ever noticed how the shrieking neo-cons who are so hot for the freedom to carry as much firepower as you can tuck into your belt would actually prefer that you not do that in their general vicinity?

I'm just sayin'.

Mom! Mom! Hey, Mom! Look at me! Mom! MOM! MOM! Hey, MOM! Look at me, Mom! MOMMMMMMM!

"Halls of Massive Dementia"s Neo Conservative toddles over from the childrens' table and interrupts the grownups while they're trying to talk:

oh yes... that canadian cynic is so insightful, huh?

and he sure knows how to charm the ladies.

make sure you check out his greatest hits.
Posted by: neo | October 30, 2007 12:21 PM

To which one commenter patiently puts down his Pinot Noir and asks Neo if he could just please fuck right off and not bother the adults:

neo barfed;

oh yes... that canadian cynic is so insightful, huh?

and he sure knows how to charm the ladies.

make sure you check out his greatest hits.

He may be foul mouthed but he is right. Those Canadian righttards deserved that.

Posted by: shiftlessbum | October 30, 2007 12:38 PM

In Neo's defense, though, I'm betting that kind of infantile ad hominem plays better when you have the right audience. Oh, look ...

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

When dumbass bloggers attack.

Shorter Patrick Rosshole: "A private, religious college suspended a student; therefore, all liberals are hypocritical fascists."

Don't cloud the issue with facts, dammit!

Once again, Canadian ID aficionado Denyse O'Leary puts her blogging fingers in motion before her brain is in gear:

Recently, columnist John Leo wrote on the way in which political correctness threatens free speech on campus. He notes,

Punishment for expressing an opinion is not unusual on the modern campus. Neither is the lack of protest among faculty and students for the kind of treatment Scheffler got. The Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE), which is defending the student, reports that it has failed to find a single Hamline student or faculty member who has spoken out in favor of Scheffler's right to free speech. So far, no protest from has been reported in the student newspaper or in outside internet outlets such as Myspace.

Now, I think many people misunderstand the reason for that. That is, they think it is the triumph of leftism, but it is really the triumph of materialism.

Or perhaps, Denyse, it's a triumph of sleazy, right-wing propaganda. Let's check in on John Leo and see exactly what his point is, shall we?

Who Will Stand Up For Campus Free Speech? | Troy Scheffler, a graduate student at Hamline University in Minnesota, thinks that the Virginia Tech massacre might have been avoided if students had been allowed to carry concealed weapons. After e-mailing this opinion to the university president, he was suspended and ordered to undergo "mental health evaluation" before being allowed to return to school.

Yes, yes, let's skim through the vapid, neo-con whining to get to Leo's utterly predictable conclusion:

The process doesn't work in reverse - with liberals protesting the silencing of a conservative. It's one of the most obvious flaws of the modern PC university.

Really? Is that what happened here? You'd think so ... until you did some actual research, whereupon you learned ...


Hamline University

Hamline University, Minnesota's first university (founded 1854), is a selective, nationally recognized college of liberal arts and sciences. Its commitment is to academic excellence, diversity, intellectual freedom and making the liberal arts work within the personal and professional choices of its students and alumni. Hamline is coeducational, affiliated with the United Methodist Church ...

Well, now ... how about that? Not only is Hamline a private college, but it appears to have a decidedly religious bent. Which makes it hard to paint this as liberalism quashing a lone voice of conservative philosophy.

More to the point, isn't it the devout who are always bitching and moaning about people trampling on their rights to associate (or not) with whoever they want? And if Hamline -- a private, religious institution -- chooses to disassociate itself from a well-known instigator like Scheffler, one would think it's their right and it's hard to see how that constitutes an attack of politically correct liberalism.

But I'm sure none of this matters to Leo or O'Leary, mostly because Leo is a well-known, right-wing propagandist, and O'Leary is, well, she's just an idiot. I guess that means she has an excuse.


I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Over at "Halls of Massive Dementia," Neo has his little self an absolute stiffy over the thought of Americans being able to draw down on ... well, whoever the fuck they want:

In Canada, you have to run and hide...

In the United States, you can "stand your ground."

First enacted in Florida in 2005, "Stand Your Ground" bills are now being considered in 21 states including Georgia, according to the National Rifle Association and the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. The South Dakota senate approved one just last week.

The article is a little dated... there are now 14 states (see graphic below) where you can stand your ground.

These new measures would push the boundaries beyond the self-defense measures already on the books. Twelve states already allow citizens to shoot intruders in their homes, and 38 states permit concealed weapons in public places.

"These laws send a more general message to society that public spaces belong to the public - and the public will protect [public places] rather than trying to run into the bathroom of the nearest Starbucks and hope the police show up," says David Kopel, director of the Independence Institute in Golden, Colorado.

This is, of course, a good idea and a long time coming, since you just never know when some shifty, 16-year-old foreigner is going to assault you in your home. Slant-eyed little Jap wants to party down at your place? I don't fucking think so, Pai-san.

And as for family members? Well, that slutty little tramp had it coming to her, if you know what I mean.

Heh heh ... I love being right.

From back here, I took issue with blaming the poor computers:

So that would be the "technological error" of a human being doing something unspeakably fucking stupid, and the computer doing exactly what it had been told to do but, what the hell, let's blame the technology, shall we? It's just easier that way.

Luckily, given time, the truth will eventually out:

In a statement released this afternoon (which can be read in full below) a committee spokesperson clarified that the error was, in fact, human. For those of you interested in the nitty gritty, the "nonpartisan, clerical employee" of the committee who was tasked with sending the email out to the list screwed up by assuming that checking "private" in Microsoft Outlook's Distribution List function meant that recipient names would be hidden. Alas, not so.

Good. And maybe this represents the beginning of a pattern -- not blaming the technology when it's a "PEBKAC" issue.

P.S. Deciphering "PEBKAC" is left as an exercise for the reader.

Monday, October 29, 2007

... and in conclusion, you smell bad.

Raving loon and poster child for multiple-personality disorder Werner Patels tries to make himself acceptable to polite society:

THE SPADE is a quality online publication or "op-ed page", featuring opinion pieces/columns about politics, society, the media and much more...

THE SPADE is an open forum for views from all over the political spectrum. Quite often, readers will find that THE SPADE agrees with and/or promotes ideas that are traditionally linked with conservatism, liberalism or even social democracy. As long as ideas are grounded in common sense, there is absolutely no reason to discard them out of hand...

THE SPADE allows for interactivity with readers. Readers who wish to share their views and thoughts on the editorials published here are more than welcome to do so.

On the other hand, behind the relative privacy of e-mail, Werner sometimes feels the need to free the beast within:

> From: "W Patels" <>
> Subject: Stay away
> Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2007 14:40:01 -0600
> Don' bother replying because you are blacklisted by
> the ISP and so none of
> your messages will ever make it through.
> I have deleted all your stupid comments
> Stay the fuck away from my websites, you
> motherfucker! You are a fucking
> psychopath and probably a fucking Paki!
> Now go and fuck off you stinking fucking Paki!

Apparently (if I read Werner correctly), Pakis have a body odour problem, although Werner doesn't clarify whether that point of view is conservative, liberal or social democratic. Perhaps it just falls under the classification of "common sense." Yeah, that must be it.

THE WEINER RESPONDS: Well, sprinkle me with brown sugar and call me breakfast -- Werner drops by long enough to accuse me of posting fiction in his name. So here's what I'm gonna do.

Before I go any further in authenticating that e-mail, I want Werner to state, unambiguously and unequivocally, that he did not write that note. I realize he's already said as much in the comments section:

Not that it matters, because you lefties are so full of BS that you won't believe me anyway, but I'd just like to point out that this "email" is a fake, fabricated either by Canadian Cynic or anyone else with a grudge.

but I want him to state that again, just for the record. Then we'll see where this goes.

P.S. I'm fascinated by the fact that Werner, despite claiming that that e-mail is fake, isn't asking for an apology or to have it taken down. If it were me, I'd be livid and screaming about defamation and the like. And yet, for someone claiming to have been wronged, Werner is surprisingly sanguine about the whole thing. How ... curious.

Heh. Indeed.

Sometimes, you just have to bow to the superior wisdom of Teh Google.

(Wag of the tail to MC.)

Canada: The world's peacekeepers?

Given the time span, I figure there's enough shame here for everyone:

Arming the World
A closer look at Canada's growing military exports

Canada's military exports have soared in the past decade, a CBC News investigation has found, yet the federal government has not released an annual report on exports of arms and high tech military goods for four years...

CBC News found that military exports rose 3.5 times between 2000 and 2006. And according to the most recent report by the U.S. Congressional Research Service, Canada was the sixth biggest supplier of arms to the world in 2006.

And our customers? Why, it's a veritable who's who of the fascistista:

During this period, the United States was Canada's biggest customer, with $2 billion in sales. Saudi Arabia took second place, at $527 million. Iraq bought $17 million dollars in military arms. And Canada sold arms and military products to more than 80 countries, including Egypt and China.

*Sniff*. I'm so proud of my country.


Dear [fill in recipient here]: You are officially fucked.

HEAD-SHAKING AFTERTHOUGHTS: You have to wonder who originally had this less-than-brilliant idea:

Although the panel said it would not accept anonymous tips, it assured those who came forward that their identity would be held in the "strictest confidence."

Why, sure, and if I was going to jeopardize my career by exposing corruption at the highest levels of government, I'd have no problem signing my name since I'm being assured that nothing could possibly go wrong and they'd all be really, really careful.

Honestly, what was the initial reaction to that idiocy? Did anyone look at that proposal and say, "You have to be fucking kidding! No anonymity!?"

And, somewhere, someone is sitting quietly, thinking, "I told you so."

... how about this gem for the sheer entertainment value?

A technological error in a recent communication inadvertently disclosed certain email addresses.

Ah, and what "technological error" would that be? Oh, right:

But in an email sent out today, the committee inadvertently sent the email addresses of all the would-be whistleblowers to everyone who had written in to the tipline. The committee email was sent to tipsters who had used the website form, including presumably whistleblowers themselves, and all of the recipients of the email were accidentally included in the "to:" field -- instead of concealing those addresses with a so-called blind carbon copy or "bcc:".

So that would be the "technological error" of a human being doing something unspeakably fucking stupid, and the computer doing exactly what it had been told to do but, what the hell, let's blame the technology, shall we? It's just easier that way.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Irony is officially dead.

And in today's news, members of the shriek-o-sphere take a break from explaining how Al Gore's receiving it hideously cheapens the Nobel Peace Prize to celebrate Michelle Malkin's award for journalistic excellence.

It's depressing when your best snark can't keep up with reality anymore.

Sunday morning snark-o-rama.

And just because I'm being generous:


Shorter "Gay and Right" Fred: "So they believed someone could strike a rock with a staff and have liquid come out? Holy fuck -- how retarded do you have to be to believe that!?"

Right whingers ar stoopid.


Malkin & Co. target Soros, hit Bush pioneers
Posted October 27th, 2007 at 10:27 am

The St. Petersburg Times reported this week that WellCare Health Plans, a Florida-based company that provides managed-care plans for millions of Medicare and Medicaid participants, has come under federal investigation. Indeed, the FBI raided WellCare’s headquarters Wednesday morning, along with the U.S. Attorney’s office, HHS investigators, and the Florida Attorney General’s Medicaid Fraud Control Unit.

The Times article included a little tidbit towards the end of the piece.

WellCare was a slow-growing Florida company until 1992 when its owner, Dr. Kiran Patel, sold it to a New York investment group led by financier George Soros. The bankers hired Todd Farha, an aggressive Harvard MBA, to transform the company. Under his leadership, WellCare’s earnings have increased eight-fold and the company’s investors and executives like Farha have profited handsomely from appreciation in its stock.

Right wing blogs saw the reference to Soros and pounced. Conservatives hit the St. Petersburg Times comments section, with insights such as, “I hope they prosecute that worm GEORGE SORROS [sic] added, “Welcome to George Soros’s America?”

Wait for it ... wait for it ... here it comes ...

As it turns out, there are two big problems with the story. First, Soros sold off his interests in the company quite a while ago.

Ooooooo ... snap! But come on, CC, tell me more ...

Second, WellCare is actually run by Bush Pioneers and generous Republican donors.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Stoopid, stoopid whingers.

If you squint, you can just tell the difference.

Canada's favourite screech harpy posts worthless crap. John Cole doesn't.

You're welcome.

Kreationists ar stoopid.

You learn something new every day, I guess:

... scientists have computed that to provide a single protein molecule by chance combination would take 10262 years. Take thins [sic] pieces of paper and write “1” and then zeros after them – you would fill up the entire known universe with paper before you could write that number.

Excuse me ... I'll be back in about three minutes.

Got water?

In climatalogical news, well, it's not like a number of us haven't been warning about something like this for a while:

U.S. Could See a Water Shortage
Friday, Oct. 26, 2007

(West Palm Beach, Fla.) — An epic drought in Georgia threatens the water supply for millions. Florida doesn't have nearly enough water for its expected population boom. The Great Lakes are shrinking. Upstate New York's reservoirs have dropped to record lows. And in the West, the Sierra Nevada snowpack is melting faster each year.

Across America, the picture is critically clear - the nation's freshwater supplies can no longer quench its thirst.

The government projects that at least 36 states will face water shortages within five years because of a combination of rising temperatures, drought, population growth, urban sprawl, waste and excess.

In other news, I'm sure Kate and her screeching, mouth-breathing howler monkeys have a picture of another temperature gauge somewhere. 'Cuz, well, it's just what they do, ya know.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

And now, dumbassitude that requires no introduction ...

Seriously, you can't possibly need any assistance from me in disemboweling this:

I'm getting so sick and tired of those smart alec know it alls in Canuckland that are demanding that retail and car prices drop now that the Loonie is riding high.

There's one point everyone is forgetting in all this. If prices lower because of the exchange rate, just where is all that lost money going to come from?

Salaries. Jobs.

In fact the argument can be used that if prices in the Canadian economy are going to be as uber exchange rate sensitive as Canadians want them to be then so should wages.

Anyone lining up for the first pay cut?

It's awesome, isn't it? And I don't mean in the Airwolfian sense, either.

NOW THAT'S TIMELY: So ... when the economy tanks, who's going to line up for the first pay cut? I'll bet it isn't this guy.

Fucking consumers ... always bitching and moaning about how they'd like to share in the spoils when things are going well. Don't they know that's only for the special people?

Heh. Indeed.

Got propaganda?

P.S. Let's not mention this to Sandra Buckler. It'll only give her ideas.

Crap crap crappity crap.

Dear Jeff: You need to warn me about upcoming shit like this. I would have enjoyed that, particularly since I have less than fond memories of Mr. Durston from his days back at the U of Manitoba -- he was an insufferable douchebag then, and I don't imagine that's changed in any meaningful way.

BONUS TRACK: If you need the one-minute introduction to the intellectual atrocity that is Mr. Kirk Durston, you won't find a better example than this. Frightening, isn't it?

Friday, October 26, 2007

Where's the outrage, Denyse? HERE'S the outrage.

Self-proclaimed "journalist, author, and blogger" and all-round Canadian pseudo-scientific quack and Intelligent Design dingbat Denyse O'Leary can't figure out what all the ruckus is about:

U of T course generates huge rage? Why?

Apparently, a vast fracas started on the Small Dead Animals blog, sparked by some alarmblog comments about my course in the intelligent design controversy starting this coming Tuesday evening at the University of Toronto. I posted the following response: ...

If Denyse is truly baffled as to why some folks who care about science might be a bit miffed, I'd be happy to clear this up for her.

First, let's notice something fairly significant: O'Leary's course is not an official U of T offering that is part of any established programme. Rather, it's being offered under the aegis of the U of T's St. Mike's College as a non-credit, continuing education course, which means (not to put too fine a point on it) that there's nothing stopping it from being utter rubbish. Not to sound unsympathetic, but that's kind of what "non-credit, continuing education" means. And if St. Mike's wants to offer that, they're certainly free to do so, and more power to them. That's not the problem.

The problem (if you haven't figured it out already) is O'Leary's slimy tendency to refer to her offering as a "U of T course" without qualifying its potential worthlessness. Just look at O'Leary's innocent protestations above, where you read the phrases "U of T course" and "my course in the intelligent design controversy starting this coming Tuesday evening at the University of Toronto" with no disclaimer that it's a non-credit, cont-ed course. And, yes, that carefully-excised bit of information makes a world of difference.

So if Denyse wants to teach scientifically illiterate nonsense through St. Mike's non-credit, cont-ed program, hey, go wild. But she shouldn't be allowed to puff up her credentials by describing it as a "U of T" course, and she should be corrected vocally every time she does.

You're not a faculty member at U of T, Denyse, so let's quit trying to leave that impression, shall we?

Airwolf: The awesome awesomeitude.

Sure, it's parody, but with Retard-o-pedia, you just never know, do you?

The mote in one's eye, and all that.

Canada's shrieking harpy Kate McMillan is amused by Saskatchewan's Stepford politicians:

Mervin Kryzanowski - Kelvington-Wadena; "I am proud to be a part of Premier Lorne Calvert's NDP team that is making life better for all Saskatchewan people," he said.

Steve Ryan - Wood River; "I am proud to be a member of Premier Lorne Calvert's NDP team that wants to make life better for all Saskatchewan people," he said.

Sarah Connor- Kindersley; "I am proud to be a member of Premier Lorne Calvert's NDP team that wants to make life better for all Saskatchewan people," she said.

Chris Gallaway- Martensville; "I am proud to be a member of Premier Lorne Calvert's NDP team that wants to make life better for all Saskatchewan people," he said.

Jason Hicks- Cypress Hills; "I am proud to be a member of Premier Lorne Calvert's NDP team that wants to make life better for all Saskatchewan people," he said.

This hilarious and embarrassing example of political, lock-step, literary obedience has been unearthed by a staunch supporter of "Canada's New Government." Who are "getting things done." Or something wickedly spontaneous like that.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hyper-ventilate much?

SHRIEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! Oh, wait, never mind ... carry on.

SOME FUN FOR ALL THE KIDS AT HOME: Over at BigCityLib's, commenter "MikeP" starts off well but finishes with only half a thought:

I cannot believe that liberals on this site, can seriously look at that video and not think that maybe her peripheral vision was blocked. Yes I can believe it. They are liberals. Gayle, enlighten us as to how asking people to come to canada and leave their racism, gay bashing, and sexism behind is racist??

So, somehow, a lack of peripheral vision would prevent someone from seeing a truck parked up ahead along the side of the highway, would it? That should be easy enough to test.

Face the far wall and pretend you're driving. Imagine at what angle you'd have to look to see a vehicle parked alongside of the road ahead of you right next to the lane you're in. So far, so good?

Now, still facing that wall, bring your hands up to your face and completely and totally block your peripheral vision as much as possible, sort of like putting blinders on a horse, in a far, far, far worse way than what you could possibly ever get with a simple head scarf. Oh, look ... you can still see the far wall and the vehicle parked on the side of the road.

The prosecution rests. And MikeP is a moron.

: And, true to form, Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative" embarrasses his sub-species with a jaw-dropping display of dumbassitude in his piece above:

The Calgary Sun apparently pulled this story from their website after deciding it was too hot to handle.

Really, Neo? Is that why a major Canadian newspaper just disappears something from its online archives? Maybe you better have a chat with the people at the National Post, who vanished that embarrassing piece of neo-con swill regarding Iran and Jews and badges. So, Neo, you think it was because that story was just "too hot to handle?" Or maybe it was because the Post realized it was right-wing rubbish? Take your time, Neo, give it some thought -- I'm sure the answer will come to you.

Or maybe not.

Great minds think alike, fools seldom differ.

White House Spokesdouchebag Dana Perino only wants to talk about the good news since the bad news is, you know, such a downer and everything:

Q: And one more. You mentioned that there are health benefits to climate change. Could you describe some of those?

MS. PERINO: Sure. In some cases, there are — look, this is an issue where I’m sure lots of people would love to ridicule me when I say this, but it is true that many people die from cold-related deaths every winter. And there are studies that say that climate change in certain areas of the world would help those individuals. There are also concerns that it would increase tropical diseases and that’s — again, I’m not an expert in that, I’m going to let Julie Gerberding testify in regards to that, but there are many studies about this that you can look into.

Well, at least you know where Canada's Lowest Common Denominatrix™ is getting her talking points:

It Was 21C In Saskatoon Today

Warmer winters, wetter summers, and now - deader rodents.

I'm failing to see the downside in this.

Canada's Small Dead Animals -- when you're idea of "long-term planning" involves deciding between delivery or take-out.

Flaherty, rump melon of the week.

Hypocrite, fink and all around dumb-ass Jim Flaherty's head continues to bob in the lap of deceit. This would be our New Conservative New Government's New Minister of New Finance, champion of the unfettered free market, pressuring retailers to fix their prices to suit his political advantage. Golly gosh, he cries, all of those naughty business people are making hay while the sun shines. The dollar has jumped and prices didn't plummet, so this minister of the government that believes in the self correcting magnificence of the free market is suddenly pressuring retailers. What a freaking douchebag.

To make things even better, the slimy wretch uses Harry Potter to make his point. Why, shouldn't a gawd fearing, conswervative, lick spittle like Flaherty be denouncing the wicked and depraved books? They are, after all, turning the kiddies into devil worshipping witches'n'wizards and let's not forget teh gay. I do declare, Mr. Flaherty, how could you betray the real women of New Canada by helping to unleash the gay making might of Dumbledore on the unsuspecting populace? Have you no shame, sir? Next you know, all the poor impressionable boy folk will be working away on their laptops and bookmarking Dust My Big O'l Broomstick.

Of course, since Flaherty is a con, both by art and affiliation, he fucks things up. His pissing and moaning about retailers, especially in the publishing sector, is flat out wrong. Prices are set by the publishers as much as a year in advance. That being noted, some retailers are actually cutting their prices and thus their margins without the market interference of Jimmy's little crusade. But he wouldn't know that, he is just a simple con on the job.

The following is from the Globe & Mail:

"Mr. Flaherty might want to work on his shopping skills, because the book is available to Ottawa consumers for less than the U.S. price he quoted.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is selling for $23.69 (Canadian) at Costco in Ottawa, or $22.50 at, before a $3.95 shipping charge.

Diane Brisebois, president of the Retail Council of Canada, said it was "very unfortunate" the minister didn't bother to look for a better price at home.
She noted that Mr. Flaherty himself had implored consumers to hunt for the best prices as a way of keeping retailers competitive.

"He should take his own advice and shop around," Ms. Brisebois said in an interview. "There's an Ottawa independent bookseller who will sell you the book at the U.S. price. He could have just walked down from his office and supported a Canadian business and, more importantly, an independent retailer.

Collected Works, an Ottawa bookstore which is now giving customers the choice of buying books at the U.S. or Canadian sticker price, sells the latest Harry Potter book for $29.95, just 21 cents more than the Washington, D.C. price Mr. Flaherty quoted."

Jim Flaherty, making things happen. Stupid things.

Right-wing humour, as it were.

Backseat Blogger has his conservative drinking buds rolling in the aisle:

The dangers of outsourcing

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the suicide hotline.

I didn’t realize they had gone offshore to save a few bucks and I was transferred to their “call center” in Pakistan.

I explained that I was feeling suicidal.

They became very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane.

Tune in tomorrow when BB takes a whack at autistic children, burn victims and Iraqi war orphan double amputees because, well, he does know his audience, doesn't he?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Immunity gone...

A report on Yahoo News indicates that the Iraqi government is revoking all immunity afforded to security companies operating in the country.

"The cabinet held a meeting yesterday and decided to scrap the article pertaining to security companies operating in Iraq that was issued by the CPA (Coalition Provision Authority) in 2004," government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh said in a statement."

I doubt that there will be any dissent about that decision within the Iraqi population, regardless of sect or tribal affiliation. After all of the dipped purple fingers, the many, many corners turned and the endless declarations of progress, the mercenary forces might be held to account for their actions. Though, last week Blackwater's CEO Eric Prince announced that his hired killers are beyond justice.

"We will not let our people be taken by the Iraqis," Mr. Prince told editors and reporters at The Washington Times."

Because if there's anything we know about sovereignty, it's that you get to choose the laws you obey and how they are administered.

"In an ideal sense, if there was wrongdoing, there could be a trial brought in the Iraqi court system. But that would imply that there is a valid Iraqi court system where Westerners could get a fair trial. That is not the case right now," said Mr. Prince."

Well I can certainly sympathize with Mr. Prince, it really must be hard for unrestrained mercenaries to get a fair trial among their victims. And I am all about fairness, so I propose that in the wake of accusations against his little murder for hire racket, that a fair and impartial justice system be allowed to weigh the evidence and hand down verdicts. I'm sure Mr. Prince would love to take his boys on an all expense paid trip to the Hague. It's only fair.

Something I've never quite figured out in this mess, is just what the hell are all of these contractors for? America is supposed to have the greatest and most mighty fighting force in all of history, by golly. Yet, there are private security forces operating with no oversight under a draft of immunity jimmied into position by Bremer's provisional mob.

"Article 1 of Section 2 of CPA order 17 issued by then US administrator for Iraq, Paul Bremer, stipulates that the "multinational force, foreign liaison missions, their personnel, property, funds and assets and all international consultants shall be immune from Iraqi legal process."

These creatures are hauling in serious money, estimated at about $1,200 a day. How many troopers would that kind of cash cover? It makes no economic sense at all. With all the right wing snot suckers that have brayed about the morale of the troops being undermined by the least criticism of the civilian leadership, where's the outrage. I know that if I had volunteered to serve my country, to accept and embody the discipline and honour portrayed by the flag, I would be fucking furious to know that there are freelancers roaming about earning more in a day than a grunt makes in a week. That would fuck my morale up.

For reasons I shouldn't have to explain ...

Yeah, about that "civility" thing ...

In railing on about teh "homosexual agenda," the Blogging Tories' Darcey decides to raise the level of discourse in a decidedly non-workplace-safe way.

In other news, I'm already getting ideas for an accompanying graphic for my next piece on Catholic priests ...

Pay no attention to those climatic catastrophes, Kate is on the job.

No, this doesn't look good, does it?

500,000 ordered to flee California's 'perfect firestorm'

Howling winds and extreme drought fuelled uncontrollable wildfires across Southern California for the third day in a row Tuesday, as the blazes engulfed hundreds of homes in what one fire official called the "perfect firestorm."

About 750 homes across the state have been reduced to ashes as the relentless Santa Ana desert winds continue to fan the 16 major blazes, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger told reporters Tuesday afternoon...

Gale-force Santa Ana winds, some gusting to 110 km/h, are fuelling the flames. The desert winds, which sweep through Southern California's canyons in the fall and winter, are stronger than normal and turning already parched scrubland into tinder.

"This is some of the most rapid fire spread that I've seen in my career," Capt. Don Camp with California's Department of Forestry and Fire Protection told CBC Newsworld on the telephone from San Diego.

"The winds, the low humidity and the unseasonably warm temperatures for this time of year have all created a perfect firestorm," he added.

Just a coincidence? Some people think not:

Expert: Warming Climate Fuels Mega-Fires

Every year you can count on forest fires in the West like hurricanes in the East, but recently there has been an enormous change in Western fires. In truth, we've never seen anything like them in recorded history. It appears we're living in a new age of mega-fires -- forest infernos ten times bigger than the fires we're used to seeing.

No problems, though, as crazy-assed, Canadian dingbat Kate McMillan has another picture of a temperature gauge somewhere. In the idiotsphere, this is apparently what passes for a rebuttal.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

SHRRIIIEEEEKKKKK!!!! Never mind, we're good here.

Come for the panic-inducing headline, stay for the anti-climatic epiphany.

The classics never go out of style.

Ah, the good old days:

This is 1.7 billion.


(Off Camera) All right, this is the first. I mean, when you talk about 1.7, you're not suggesting that the rebuilding of Iraq is gonna be done for $1.7 billion?


Well, in terms of the American taxpayers contribution, I do, this is it for the US. The rest of the rebuilding of Iraq will be done by other countries who have already made pledges, Britain, Germany, Norway, Japan, Canada, and Iraqi oil revenues, eventually in several years, when it's up and running and there's a new government that's been democratically elected, will finish the job with their own revenues. They're going to get in $20 billion a year in oil revenues. But the American part of this will be 1.7 billion. We have no plans for any further-on funding for this.

So ... how's that "surge" going these days? Whoops ...

Bush Asks for $46 Billion More for Wars

WASHINGTON — President Bush asked Congress on Monday for another $46 billion to fund the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and finance other national security needs. "We must provide our troops with the help and support they need to get the job done," Bush said.

The figure brings to $196.4 billion the total requested by the administration for operations in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere for the budget year that started Oct. 1. It includes $189.3 billion for the Defense Department, $6.9 billion for the State Department and $200 million for other agencies.

To date, Congress has already provided more than $455 billion for the Iraq war, with stepped-up military operations running about $10 billion a month. The war has claimed the lives of more than 3,830 members of the U.S. military and more than 73,000 Iraqi civilians.

In other news, members of the Retard-o-sphere have found another bright shiny thing somewhere.

Let's not contaminate a good rant with accuracy.

Shorter Blogging Tory Frank Hilliard: "And when I learn how to spell 'Godwin's Law' properly, why, my logic will be even more devastating."

AFTERSNARK: Watching poor Frank getting his nads handed to him and not even realizing it, well, you know where you've seen that before:

Monday, October 22, 2007

Because you always need a good punchline.

What's the only thing more entertaining than being reminded how much of a retard Dinesh D'Souza is? Being reminded that there are still people who admire him.

That was unnecessarily cruel, wasn't it?

Can you say "shameless pandering," boys and girls?

(CC News) -- In a brazen attempt to woo the batshit-crazy, Bible-toting, whackjob demographic, three of the most prominent Republican presidential candidates tried desperately to outdo one another with stories about how nauseatingly prepared they were to suck up to the most intellectually-challenged voting bloc in America:

Fred D. Thompson said that within his first hour of becoming president, he would close the door behind him in the Oval Office and pray for wisdom.

Senator John McCain grew emotional when he talked about a North Vietnamese prison guard who loosened his bonds and, several months later in a meeting on Christmas Day, surreptitiously etched a cross on the ground in front of him.

Mitt Romney spoke about his wife of 38 years, 5 children and 10 grandchildren, saying he had been “pro-family on every level” in his personal life, as well as his political life.

Realizing he had been out-flanked by Romney, Thompson immediately lashed back that he didn't believe in evolution, to which McCain countered that not only did he not believe in evolution, but that the earth was indeed flat as well.

Interrupting loudly, Romney then began telling a story about how he had to carry his Bible five miles to school each way every day uphill, to which Thompson snorted, "Ha! Luxury! Why, when I was a lad ..."

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Faith resolved!

In the ongoing effort of this blog to serve the public good, we provide a link to the following FAQ. You're welcome.

The stupid! It burns!

Can we just give these people their own Jesusland and be rid of them?

P.S. Yeah, that would be this Doug Giles. Any further snark would be superfluous, wouldn't it?

If the irony were any thicker ...

The people over at Kate's place take a moment off from describing you as unhinged, deranged, leftard, terrorist-loving, God-hating, amoral, intolerant moonbats to chide you for your lack of civility.

FREE AT NO EXTRA CHARGE: In responding to the above, the intellectual level over at "The Politic" asserts itself in an ugly way:

R West wrote:

By evolution, do you mean small changes in an animal ie changes to the bill size, or the change from a one cell organism to a man. There is evidence for the former, not the latter. Evolution as an explanation life is a just-so story about what happened in the past and has nothing to do with real science. Darwin said that once the once the fossil record was better known, his theory would be shown to be true, 150 years latter, all we see are species appearing suddenly with no recognisable ancestor. Natural selection means that there needs to be something to select. The information in the genetic code cannot come from nothing, anymore than a computer program can come into a random string of 1’s and 0’s

On the other hand, God exists. You got a problem with that?

Friday, October 19, 2007

Gie us a wee dram...

Alright folks, I am back from Scotland where i ate, drank, saw ruins, saw unruins, drank, ate, saw castles, saw cathedrals and looked the wrong way before crossing the street. Very sneaky thing of having the cars lurking about on the wrong side of the road. Allow me to say that the girls in Glasgow's west end are transluscent and lovely, the people are incomprehensible, kindly and generous and the architecture is jaw dropping. Even as an atheist, it was humbling to walk into St. Giles and Glasgow cathedrals both magnificent examples of human ingenuity, effort and faith. I had wireless issues with my laptop and only spent about fifteen minutes online over the last 17 days. What a refreshing treat to watch the evening news without the frenetic scrolling, panic inducing fever of the Americas. News presenters were articulate and the shows weren't bombastic productions with throbbing graphics and overwrought music cues. Civilized. I can't wait to go back. Thank you Scotland, land of my ancestors with their fetish for stone fencing, mile upon mile of it.

So here I sit, placating the wounded indignation of my cat and trying to shake off the jet lag. I'll be catching up on the doings of the world and then I shall return to semi-regular screeding. Cheers.

Get down ...

... get back up again!

Dinesh D'Souza: The gift that keeps on giving.

It's going to be some kind of busy here at CC HQ for the next little while, so posting is going to be a bit scarce, but there's just so much wingnuttery goodness in Dinette D'Setta's aforementioned post on God that one has to address the following, eye-rolling paragraph:

So far Hitchens and his fellow atheists have had it relatively easy. Hitchens has been going around the country debating pastors. Pastors are supposed to be models of Christian charity. This means that Hitchens can call them names but they cannot call him names. Pastors are required to turn the other cheek, while Hitchens gets ready to kick them in the rear end. Moreover, pastors are not used to fending off attacks from people who deny the validity of the gospels and, in Hitchens’ case, even cast doubt on the historical existence of Jesus Christ. How can you quote Scripture to a man who denies the authority of Scripture to adjudicate anything?


Let me translate that for you: "When it comes to a discussion of the existence of God, how dare atheists like Hitchens not accept the basic premise of the historical authenticity and innerancy of Holy Scripture? Why, the nerve!"

Dinesh has a point since, when I get into a debate, I like to simplify things by conceding my opponent's position right off the bat. It just saves time, ya know?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Please tell me that this is a joke.

[Updated below, for the sake of vacuous cementheads like commenter "fergusrush."]

[Whoa ... apparently, we've just been infested with a pile of "crooks and liars." And to think this was such a nice neighbourhood. :-)]

Neo-con hero Dinesh D'Souza certainly knows the audience for whom he's writing:

... Consider [Christopher] Hitchens’ discussion of one of the classic Christian proofs for the existence of God. Hitchens takes up Anselm’s so-called ontological argument, and he makes short work of it. Basically Anselm argues that God is, by definition, a being than which no greater can be conceived. But if God is such a being, he must exist. Why? Because if it didn’t, then he would be a being than which a greater could be conceived.

Anselm’s argument seems like a theological rabbit pulled from a rhetorical top hat. Yet when you ponder the logic. it is surprisingly strong.

And, yes, this really is what passes for deep thought in the wankersphere. Is it too early to start drinking heavily?

MY, ONE DOES GET COMMENTS. And right on cue, regular commenter and defiler of all things logical "fergusrush" reads this snippet from Dr. Dawg:

Atheists surely do not have to define what it is they don't believe in. Good grief!

to which the ferg blows a gasket and descends into logical absurdity thusly:

No, dawg, of course not!! Heaven forbid they should have an idea of what it is they are strenuously denying the existence of.

Dr. Dawg is, of course, entirely correct, since when someone professes to be an atheist, one is simply stating a lack of belief in a particular supernatural deity, nothing more. Said deity does not have to be completely defined and, in fact, a poorly-defined deity makes said lack of belief even more logical and defensible.

I'm guessing poor fergie simply has no clue what the word "atheism" actually means, so I'll be happy to help him out. After which I would hope that ferg would understand the insipid lack of sense in describing an atheist as someone who is "strenuously denying the existence" of anything. But having read enough of ferg's contributions to this site, I am decidedly not optimistic.

BONUS TRACK: With all due respect, here's what you can do with your "perfect" God.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

That's some serious irony you got going there, Steve.

Junior Detective and self-described independent, freelance journalist Steve Janke has his ballsack in a knot over apparent ideological leanings by members of the fourth estate:

Richard Brennan is a reporter for the Toronto Star's Ottawa bureau.

As a reporter, Brennan has a responsibility to maintain a certain level of even-handedness. That doesn't mean a reporter has to like everyone, but there has to be an attempt to present an image of fairness.

One thing is to avoid the propaganda used by politicians.

So when Richard Brennan allows himself to be interviewed by the hard-left online website Harper Index, why does he sound like an NDP attack dog?

The eJankulator then goes on to give Brennan (and others) some words of advice:

1. Reporters are not to be interviewed by other publications.
2. Reporters are not to become news stories unto themselves.
3. Reporters are not to make statements that undermine their ability to present themselves as unbiased reporters.
4. Reporters are not to act in a manner that would undermine the ability of the Toronto Star as a whole to deal with politicians on all points of the spectrum.
5. Reporters are not to provide sound bites that could be used by one political party or another in partisan material.

Whoops, you forgot one, Steve -- "reporters" are not to become so outrageously libelous and/or slanderous that they get sued by the politicians they smear, whereupon they have to publicly apologize for their transgressions.

Whaddya think, Steve? I think that should be rule 6. But that's just me.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Nice family you got there ...

... be a shame if anything happened to it.

Would someone explain to Mark Steyn the meaning of "irony?"

"Canada's Leading Asshole" Mark Steyn is so all about the scientific accuracy:

A COUPLE of days before Al Gore was awarded his Nobel Peace prize, Michael Burton, an English High Court judge and apparently a fine film critic, ruled that Al's Oscar-winner An Inconvenient Truth was prone to "alarmism and exaggeration" and identified nine major factual errors.

Yes, that would be Mark Steyn, seriously suggesting that someone else could have used a fact checker:

Incidentally, I stopped writing for the Times a few years ago because their fanatical "fact-checking" copy-editors edited my copy into unreadable sludge.

So many punchlines, so little interest in picking the best one.

Simple answers to simple questions: Oct 16, 2007.

Question: Whenever anyone, anywhere, for any reason whatsoever, criticizes glorious leader Stephen Harper, can they always be contemptuously and childishly dismissed as "whiners?"

Answer: Yes.

This has been another installment of "Simple answers to simple questions."

Sometimes playing to your demographic isn't such a bad idea.

Oooooooh ... 19 per cent of the vote. That's actually fairly impressive. Where did Dick get all that support? Oh, wait ... never mind.

Monday, October 15, 2007

They're so adorable when they're that optimistic.

Reacting to the aforementioned Stephen Harper Press Centre and Institute of Conservative Stenography and Dancing Bears, Macleans blogger Kady O'Malley seems to be giving her colleagues in journamalism more credit than they appear to deserve:

No more. This - - this monstrous plan, this must serve as our wakeup call. We are journalists. We are not typists. We work on behalf of the people, not government - not this government, nor the next one, or any government in waiting that might, on reading this article, be hoping, in its heart of hearts, that this is one thing that the Prime Minister will be able to do, in order to spare them from doing the same in the future.

We are the fourth estate. We do not have to justify our existence, or our need for independence, to anyone. We are not a tame lion. If this goes ahead, it's time to roar.

Yeah, that'll happen; right after my hot tub date with Cameron Diaz, that'll happen. Is anyone feeling any more optimistic than that?

The Blogging Tories get their Al Gore marching orders.

And like the slavishly loyal and obedient howler monkeys that they are, numerous Blogging Tories reproduce the latest anti-Gore talking point, this one involving super-duper, mega-expert meteorologist William Gray.

Yeah ... that would be this William Gray. I'm sure you're shocked.

Yeah, about that prudent fiscal restraint ...

On the one hand:

... Prime Minister Stephen Harper warned that "recent volatility in financial markets needs careful management," Canada's forestry and manufacturing sectors are facing "tough times," and there is "weakness" in some export markets.

"At the same time, strong growth in other areas is driving up the cost of living," such as housing prices, beyond what many can afford, he said.

So, "we have to keep our spending prudent, keep reducing the debt, and keep lowering taxes for individuals, businesses and families," Harper concluded.

On the other hand, well, welcome to the new Pravda on the Rideau:

PMO working on government-controlled media centre

The Prime Minister's Office has been secretly working on plans to build a government-controlled briefing room, which would supplant the current National Press Theatre.

The plan, with an estimated cost of $2 million, has been in the works since at least last year, reveal documents obtained by the Toronto Star under the Access to Information Act...

Harper has had a sometimes frosty relationship with the national press corps, stemming from his staff's tight control over news conferences and lack of accessibility to MPs and cabinet ministers.

The new facility could impose even stricter measures, giving the PMO control over who may enter and possibly what gets filmed and broadcast...

A hand-drawn sketch of the facility also shows a space for "maybe permanently installed cameras with feeds to media."

That suggests that the news cameras could be controlled by government employees instead of independent media journalists, reports the Star.

When reached for comment about this massive financial expenditure in order to carefully choreograph government public relations, numerous members of Canada's Blogging Tories stopped shrieking hysterically about the liberal bias of the CBC just long enough to opine that they thought it was a good idea.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Don't hold your breath waiting for a retraction.

It was Mark Twain who once wrote, "A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."

Not surprisingly, you can find the initial lie over at Kate's septic tank of a blog:

Oops - In the wake of a British court ruling that the "documentary" contains material errors of fact, a "call to return Inconvenient Truth Oscar" A nice gesture, if altogether empty. After all, Michael Moore still has his.

And now that Kate is quite finished being a total douchebag for right-wing misrepresentation, we can let Tim Lambert set the record straight.

And, no, I'm not actually going to suggest that some of the wanks who made that initial accusation have the courtesy to post a correction and an apology. I long ago outgrew that childish delusion.

The bottomless bucket o' irony.

Has anyone else noticed the irony of an entire ideological demographic that, on the one hand, viciously savages a 12-year-old accident victim yet, on the other hand, courageously leaps to the defense of a battle-hardened four-star general because some people are allegedly being mean to poor little him?

Really, this is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?



I'm just sayin'.

There's some definite entertainment value in the right-wing Dumbshit-o-sphere howling with rage and denigrating an Oscar-winning documentarian who just won the Nobel Peace Prize, when this is who they've been slavishly worshipping and fawning over for the last several years:

The irony really is overwhelming, isn't it?

Stenography, as it is done.

Once again (and true to form), the Blogging Tories' "Wayne" weighs in on a deep and profound intellectual discussion with his standard, "Hey ... what he said."

And following the link leads us to Wayne's conflicted BT colleague "Gay and Right" Fred, who educates us thusly:

An inconvenient peace prize...

Nice editorial from Bjorn Lomborg....

Lomborg ... Lomborg ... ah, yes ... that Bjorn Lomborg.

What he said. :-)

: If you're not quite sure what I mean by "stenography," well, it's just easier to show you.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Just another day in Wingnuttia.

And in today's news, shrieking, right-wing whackjobs everywhere took a short break from attacking a 12-year old to attack an Oscar-winning documentarian who just won the Nobel Peace Prize.

You just can't make this stuff up, can you?

Simple answers to simple questions: Oct 12, 2007.

E. J. Dionne Jr. asks a simple question:

Conservatives claim to be in favor of stable families, small businesses, hard work, private schools, investment and homeownership. So why in the world are so many on the right attacking the family of Graeme Frost?

Answer: Because they're hateful, reprehensible, hypocritical assholes.

This has been another installment of "Simple answers to simple questions."

Those popping sounds you hear ...

... are freepers' mostly vacuum-filled skulls self-destructing.

Yeah ... kinda like that.

LET THE BATSHIT CRAZINESS BEGIN: And over at Five Feet of Feces™, cowardly, shrieking racist Kathy Shaidle takes logic and nails it bleeding to a large piece of wood:

If Al Gore is a decent man, thirty years from now, having finally admitted he was wrong about global warming, he will endow a new prize, to be presented annually to a man or woman who tried to undo the incalculable damage done by An Inconvenient Truth.

As opposed to the allegedly minor inconvenience that would result from ignoring climate change for thirty years, only to finally realize that it was real and that it's now far too late to do anything about it. Yeah, that's a much smarter long-term strategy.

Where the fuck is the Rapture when you desperately need it?

You can feel the intellectual vacuum from here.

Buckle up, kids ... it's about to get truly frightening:

... Laws of logic are God’s standard for thinking. Since God is an unchanging, sovereign, immaterial Being, the laws of logic are abstract, universal, invariant entities. In other words, they are not made of matter—they apply everywhere and at all times. Laws of logic are contingent upon God’s unchanging nature. And they are necessary for logical reasoning. Thus, rational reasoning would be impossible without the biblical God.

The materialistic atheist can’t have laws of logic. He believes that everything that exists is material—part of the physical world. But laws of logic are not physical. You can’t stub your toe on a law of logic. Laws of logic cannot exist in the atheist’s world, yet he uses them to try to reason. This is inconsistent...

Rational thinking, science, and technology make sense in a Christian worldview. The Christian has a basis for these things; the atheist does not. This is not to say that atheists cannot be rational about some things. They can because they too are made in God’s image and have access to God’s laws of logic. But they have no rational basis for rationality within their own worldview.

As science blogger John M. Lynch suggests, you are now stupider for just having read that.

Simple answers to simple questions: Oct 12, 2007.

Blogging Tory Raphael asks:

I see a few Blogging Tories are quick to defend Ms.Coulter with her virulent and lunatic statements which have now culminated in outright outlandish xenophobia. Damian first sensibly called her out for her outrageous suggestion that Christians are "perfected Jews". Is this the kind of person "conservatives" admire?

Answer: Yes.

This has been another installment of "Simple answers to simple questions."

THE JOY OF RIGHT-WING SEMANTICS: Over at Little Green Fascists, they're all excited about exposing that pernicious, liberal media bias:

Notice that they directly quote Coulter as saying:

...America would be better off if Judaism were “thrown away”...

But if you read the transcript, you’ll discover that Coulter never said this.

Donny Deutsch did, however.

Why, yes, let's go to the transcript, shall we?

Deutsch, pressing Coulter further, asked, "We should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians?" She responded: "Yeah."

All right, then ... for a minute, we all thought Coulter had said something hideously offensive and insulting. It's a good thing Fox News was there to clear things up. What would we do without them?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Let's talk about hiding behind kids, shall we?

There's an increasingly-annoying right-wing talking point, accusing the Democrats of "hiding behind" 12-year-old Graeme Frost when they chose him to explain how the SCHIP program had helped him. John Cole rips that particular idiocy to shreds by pointing out how all Frost had been chosen to do was to explain how SCHIP had helped him, and how he wished it would be available to help other kids as well. Nothing untoward, nothing sleazy, nothing underhanded.

On the other hand, if you want to see pure cowardice in action, you can't do better than former head of the National Republican Congressional Committee Tom Reynolds knowing he's about to give a press conference where reporters are about to dissect him for allegedly knowing about serial Internet stalker Mark Foley and ... well, let's let the transcript expose Reynolds' douchebaggery to the world:

In the fine tradition of George W. Bush standing under the "Mission Accomplished" sign, or any one of the Katrina backdrops (where no expense was spared to bring power to an area for a photo op, and then just as quickly cut off), we now have the head of the NRCC, Tom Reynolds, using small prop children as set decoration in a press conference devoted to the topic of…yes, predatory online sexual solicitation of minors.

Even the reporters present could not contain themselves:

Reporter: Congressman, do you mind asking the children to leave the room so we can have a frank discussion of this, because it's an adult topic. It just doesn't seem appropriate to me.

Reynolds: I'll take your questions, but I'm not going to ask any of my supporters to leave.


Reporter: Who are the children, Congressman? Who are these children?

Reynolds: Pardon me?

Reporter: Who are these children?

Reynolds: Well, a number of them are from the community. There are several of the "thirtysomething" set that are here and uh I've known them and I've known their children as they were born.

Reporter: Do you think it's appropriate for them to be listening to the subject matter though?

Reynolds: Sir, I'll be happy to answer your questions, I'm still, uh…

Yes, that's Reynolds, knowing that he was going to get chewed up and spit out, frantically calling in the troops and surrounding himself with children in order to cow the journalists into civility. Strangely, the Dumbass-o-sphere didn't seem to have a problem with that. Go figure.

Your "liberal" media in action.

It doesn't matter how warped or twisted is your imagination, right-wing reality is two steps ahead of you. Who's responsible for the neo-con jihad against 12-year-old Graeme Frost and his family? That's right, you guessed it -- the Democrats:

CNN Pins Blame On Democrats For Right-Wing Smear Of 12-Year Old Boy

This morning, CNN aired its first report on the right-wing smear campaign against 12-year old SCHIP recipient Graeme Frost. CNN pinned the blame on Democrats for assault on the Frost family.

CNN’s John Roberts reported: “Some of the accusations [against the Frosts] may be exaggerated or false. But did the Democrats make a tactical error in holding up Graeme as their poster child?” A CNN political analyst then placed the blame squarely on the Democrats’ shoulders:

I think in this instance what happened was the Democrats didn’t do as much of a vetting as they could have done on this young man, his situation, his family. […]

More and more, Congress is acting less like a deliberative legislative body, and more like a political campaign. We’ve been seeing the politicization of every aspect of government.

The next thing you know, things will get so weird that the Democrats will somehow be responsible for disgraced Republican congressman Mark Foley's Internet stalking of teenage boys.

Oh ... wait.

It's embarrassing when your best snark can't even keep up with reality.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?

"Halsey and Bonnie Frost -- your kids were once in a car accident that left them in a coma -- what do we have as prizes for the both of you? Oh ..."

When Halsey and Bonnie Frost agreed to go public with how the State Children's Health Insurance Program helped them after a car crash left two of their children comatose, the Baltimore couple expected to hear from critics of government-funded health care.

But while the Frosts were helping a bipartisan majority in Congress sell a plan to expand the program, they were not prepared for comments such as this one, posted over the weekend on the conservative Web site Redstate:

"If federal funds were required [they] could die for all I care. Let the parents get second jobs, let their state foot the bill or let them seek help from private charities. ... I would hire a team of PIs and find out exactly how much their parents made and where they spent every nickel. Then I'd do everything possible to destroy their lives with that info."

Yes, that does sound a bit tasteless, but let's not forget, CC once told a grieving Canadian military mother to pretty much fuck right off for using her emotional distress for political propaganda. So it all balances out, and we're good here. Isn't that how it works?

Somehow, the name "Dick" just works, doesn't it?

Oh, yawn ... just when you think Richard Evans can't possibly get any more childish, he still has the power to amaze:

It's not clear whether Richard knows he's lying, or whether he actually believes his own delusions. Either way, it's kind of creepy, isn't it?

Smithers ... release the hounds!

Canada's Leading Asshole™ Mark Steyn has no problems beating up on a 12-year-old:

The Democrats chose to outsource their airtime to a Seventh Grader. If a political party is desperate enough to send a boy to do a man's job, then the boy is fair game.

Well, now .. what have we here?

I believe our mission here requires no explanation. Who is this girl? And how quickly can she be destroyed utterly?

Quickly, now, a recap: We know her name is "Rebecca" and she is seven years old. Apparently, she goes to school, and her mother recently(?) had an abortion. Who is this mother? What is her name? Where does she work? Is she rich? Was her abortion funded by the taxpayers? Why is she not using birth control? Does she attend church? Does the rest of her congregation know about this recent development and, if not, why the hell not?

And as for Paul R. Nelson, apparently, he has four beautiful children, with a fifth on the way. What are their names? Are any of them in school? Which school?

These are, as I'm sure you can appreciate, critical questions that must be answered so that, for the sake of civil discourse and a deep and abiding respect for children, Rebecca and her family can be identified, located and crushed without remorse or mercy for being right-wing political tools of propaganda.

This is your mission and, as always, if you or any member of your IMF team is caught and killed, we here at CC HQ will disavow any knowledge of anyone so unspeakably stupid as to take anything we say even remotely seriously.

There's "raising the bar," and then there's ...

Pardon us while we, like, totally re-calibrate our right-wing whackjob-o-meters:

Dead Reverend's Rubber Fetish
Autopsy: Pastor found in wet suits after autoerotic mishap

OCTOBER 8--An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge's two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister's rubber briefs.

I'm sorry ... there's just no way we can't go there, is there?

There is a dildo in the anus covered with a condom.

Don't you miss the old days when a blowjob in the Oval Office involving consenting adults was enough to send the entire country into fits of gibbering, moralistic panic? Yes, those were good times, weren't they?

: The comments, oh, dear God, the comments.

If you want to bitch slap Kathy Shaidle, you'll have to stand in line.

This time, it's the boys from "Sadly, No" who lay the snarkilicious beatdown on Kathy and her new digs, Five Feet of Feces™.

Who says Canada can't compete on the international stage of shrieking, deranged, hateful, spittle-flecked wingnuttery? You Americans, with your Ann Coulter, and your Michelle Malkin. Ha! We laugh at you, and your puny, second-rate bigotry and homophobia. Now go away, before I taunt you a second time.

DOUBLE PLUS GOOD AFTERSNARK: The boys at SN draw your attention to one of Shaidle's claim to fame -- her poetry:

Contacts With Trotskyites

I discovered one hundred dollars too late that
my round wire glasses
attract a certain type of man
attracted to an uncertain type of woman and you know
the least they could do is conceal their disappointment when,
to quiet their drunken insistence, I finally do remove them.
They mumble their "You really should get contact lenses" party line,
then suddenly have to go home...

Yes, you know exactly where this is going, don't you?

Into the wayback machine, Sherman.

And for no reason whatsoever, it's always amusing to remind ourselves that Mark Steyn is a blithering retard.

You're welcome.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Unhinged Catholic, redux.

Shorter Kathy Shaidle: "Speaking as a Roman Catholic charged by Jesus Christ to love my fellow man and care for the less fortunate, poor people can just go fuck themselves. You got a problem with that?"

Time to reap the whirlwind, eh, Dick?

I know -- really, I know -- that I should be a bigger man and just leave this alone but, well, you'll see why that just wasn't gonna happen. Behold, the amusing, new spamiliciousness of Richard Evans' blog, "Let Litigiousness Reign":

And why would I give a crap that Dick is now unintentionally hawking erectile dysfunction drugs? Maybe it's because of this just a bit further down that same web page:

Yes, the fact that Dick is now promoting boner pills is somehow my fault, which gives me the opportunity to make a few observations, to wit:

  • I had nothing to do with that hack, directly or indirectly.

  • I have never, ever encouraged anyone to perform that kind of online vandalism.

  • I most emphatically do not approve of that sort of thing, even against someone as loathsome, vile, bigoted and child sex-obsessed as Richard Evans. So if anyone is doing that on my behalf, well, just knock it off. Are we clear?

And now, having said all that, I will suggest that, having defamed me, tried to out me, put a $500 bounty on my head and threatened to drag me into court, I don't really see that Dick has any moral high ground here to be bitching about anything.

Reap what you sow, Dick. I don't approve of that bit of vandalism but, really, given your recent behaviour, it's not like I'm going to lose any sleep over it. When you make an entire blogging career of promoting hate and threatening people, you can't really bitch and moan when someone finally has enough and decides to have some fun with you.

A world of philosophy in eight little words.

"That's why I don't care about the poor." Mark Steyn couldn't have said it better.

Oh, wait ... he did.

! I'm sorry ... I only this second noticed that TBogg is all over this, too. Sometimes, drooling, screeching hatred for the less fortunate knows no national boundaries.

: Not surprisingly, Dave and RT have something to say about this, but here's the part that truly creeps me out.

Regular readers might remember the utterly fake outrage when I posted the personal information of the NAMBLA-obsessed Richard Evans, including his address and the names of his wife and kids, all of which was obtained from publicly-available information off of Richard's own web sites.

Which, of course, makes me wonder when I'm going to see similar outrage from those very same hypocritical wanks regarding this:

Michelle Malkin, incensed by the presence of the children engaging in SCHIP advocacy, has now gone the extra mile:

Update 2:50pm Eastern: I just returned from a visit to Frost’s commercial property near Patterson Park in Baltimore. It’s a modest place. Talked to one of the tenants, Mike Reilly, who is a talented welder. He said he had known the Frosts for 10 years. Business is good, he told me, though he characterized Frost as “struggling.” Reilly was an outspoken advocate for socialized health care without any means-testing whatsoever and an insistent critic of the Iraq war. Despite all that, he did agree with me that going without health insurance is often a matter of choice and a matter of priorities. Or maybe we were speaking two different languages.

I also passed by the Frosts’ rowhouse. There was an “01 – 20 -09″ bumper sticker plastered on the door and a newer model GMC Suburban parked directly in front of the house. I’ve seen guesstimates of the house’s worth in the $400,000 plus range. Those are high.

Citizen journalists, at your doorstep. Maybe she can get some of her flunkies at Hot Air to sit with binoculars and see what they have for dinner.

The ideological Right and their new motto: "Our kids are precious; your kids are fair game."