Ah, the joy of Elite Status.

Why, yes, we did have pretty much one of everything:

And cake. There was cake.

Jesus. Fucking. Burning. Stupid. Goddamn. Fucking. Christ.

 

But, sure, you demented twatwaffle ... feel free to lecture us on how "truth matters."

Fuck.

Oh, man, this sounds familiar.

Ah, the delight of arguing in bad faith about any issue in general ... we all know someone exactly like this:

It's vacation time so blogging will be light.

Don't hate me because I'm getting out of Ottawa before the Dumbass Convoy shows up for Canada Day ...

 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bathing suit and some SPF 75 to pack.

JUXTAPOSE!

Jan 6. commission witness Cassidy Hutchinson -- who testified before the commission, in person, at the Capitol and under oath -- currently having her credibility attacked by others who refuse to appear or who have taken the Fifth 879 times.

Getting really tired of the burning stupid ...

 

If only there were a magic box where one could go and ask questions like "What is mischief?"

If only ...

The Sun's Anthony Furey is the stupidest human being in the universe.

That's it. That's the post.

Submitted without comment.

 

There's stupid, there's really stupid and there's Steve Nixon-level stupid.

 

Well, this looks bad.

 

In light of the above, this will never, ever, ever, ever, ever stop being funny:

Seriously, it will never not be funny.

Yup, I called it ... Tamara Lich might be going back to jail.

It was over a week ago that I (along with others) pointed out that lunatic white nationalist and professional grifter Tamara Lich clearly violated her bail conditions.

Oh, look ... from just yesterday:

Cue the shrieking about fascism. Or censorship. Or Communism. Anything but Lich violating her bail conditions.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, Lord, the dishonesty:

No, Lich was not arrested for criticizing the government; she was arrested for breaching her explicit and unequivocal bail conditions. What part of that is so difficult to comprehend?

P.S. More of Ezra's lies:

AFTERTHOUGHT: Does anyone else think this is all deliberate, so that Lich can once again play the victim and grift another truckload of cash from decidedly gullible and brain-damaged supporters?

Somebody has mommy issues.

Ex-Rebeler Keean "Beaker" Bexte seriously needs to seek professional help:

All the therapy on the planet is not going to fix whatever is wrong with that boy.

CBC Pitchbot.

"Are there any valid arguments for criminalizing abortion? We asked three elderly Christian white men, and one deranged female Christofascist for their opinions."

Rudy Giuliani: Snowflake.

Apparently, this is "assault":

https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1541201416949211136

Cue the entire right-wing-o-sphere shrieking about the savage, murderous thuggery of Antifa. You know it's coming.

Man, but that is some burning stupid.

Jesus ...

Sure, because getting a vaccination to avoid being a virus-spewing plague rat is just like stripping women of their reproductive rights.

How do these people even dress themselves in the morning without help?

Yeah, this is going to end well.

This is who Pierre Poilievre and Candice Bergen are explicitly and deliberately inviting to Ottawa:

But, sure, this is all about vaccine mandates.

God: The biggest abortionist of them all.

I have opined on this before, but when the religiously devout begin screeching about how God so loves the fetuses, feel free to point out that that very same Christian God, in a fit of pique, sent a worldwide flood to kill virtually every human being on the planet, including pregnant women and, consequently, their unborn children, making the Christian God the most renowned mass murderer of fetuses in the history of the universe.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

Yup, I called it.

And just as I predicted, Rebel News -- which has spent month after month shrieking "FREEDOM!" and insisting that the government has absolutely no right to interfere with the personal health choices of citizens -- is currently creaming itself over the U.S. Supreme Court depriving women of the freedom to make their own health care decisions:

I'm sure you're shocked by the hypocrisy. Or at least a little concerned.

JUXTAPOSE!

Canadian conservatives livid -- LIVID, I TELL YOU!!! -- over government vaccine mandates that infringe on their bodily autonomy currently positively gleeful after Trump-dominated U.S. Supreme Court just stripped 150 million women of their bodily autonomy.

You can't make this stuff up.

P.S. Apparently, this is only the beginning:

I'm sure Democrats will harness their rage to do what they always do -- turn on each other and stab one another in the back.

P.P.S. Apparently, Senator Susan Collins is concerned, verging on disappointed. That is all.

Why James Topp is such a dishonest piece of crap.

James Topp, who claimed to be walking across Canada to protest vaccine mandates, now openly admits that that rationale is absolute bullshit:

Perhaps someone could explain to Topp how democracy and elections work, then tell him to turn around and fuck off home.

Speaking of Fort McMurray ...

It's mildly amusing to watch Rebel News' Ezra Levant still pandering shamelessly to Fort McMurray:

given how he screwed that city out of well over $100,000 in matching Red Cross donations, and one might also remember how Ezra once assured everyone he was organizing a "convoy" to help rebuild Fort Mac from the smoldering ruins:

Whatever happened to that convoy? Enquiring minds want to know.

P.S. A reminder that, with another $157 in the fundraiser, you get the next installment in the ongoing "Chronicles of Ezra," the next one related to Ezra's assurances of matching funds and how that will play into my questioning of Ezra as we prepare for trial.

Dear Ottawa:

When you think back to the three weeks of hell in February involving blaring horns, choking diesel fumes, blocked streets and deranged white nationalists shutting down local businesses and accosting locals simply for wearing masks, keep in mind that it's the Conservative Party of Canada that just invited them back to do it all over again:

The Conservative Party of Canada: Yes, they're just as fucking horrible as you'd heard.

"Heating Up The Capital" Hot Sauce Expo, Ottawa, 2022!

And now, for something completely different ... after the stupid crazy success of last year's hot sauce get-together, there will be another hot sauce expo at the same location in Mountain, Ontario:

One of the driving forces behind this is local lethal sauce maker Haico Krijgsman, who was kind enough to bring back to Ottawa the basket of sauces I won in the raffle last year but left before the winner was announced, so I just ordered tickets to this year's painfest, and you should, too.

Buy local. Always buy local.

BONUS TRACK: I have an unopened bottle of:

I haven't opened it because it scares me.

MORE BONUS: The raffle basket I won was from The Capsaicin Cartel, whose name alone is enough to make one nervous. In particular, I purchased a bottle of the limited edition "Kill Vlad" sauce before it went out of stock. I suffer gladly to this day.

Gaming the system: How Sheila Gunn Reid, Andrew Lawton and Derek Smith write "bestsellers".

UPPITYDATE: If you want to truly appreciate how Ezra Levant has learned how to play the system, I suggest a piece I wrote back here. I won't bother summarizing it; you can figure it out for yourself.

As recently reported, Ezra Levant and the rest of the sub-humans at Rebel News are creaming their Preston Manning Underoos over the stunning rise to #1 prominence of this piece of literary dreck from piece of human dreck Derek Smith:

It's not like the folks at Der Rebel haven't figured out how to game the system, as I have explained on occasion here. And here. And here. And here. I mean, when an execrable human being like Sheila Gunn Reid can get a bestseller while being arguably the shittiest writer in the country, well, you know how seriously to take those rankings, as a recent commenter here at CC HQ explains:

I used to wonder how the truly wretched pustules of anti-culture self-published by the Rebel "writers" and their network managed to achieve apparently legitimate "#1 Best Seller At Amazon" status. Andrew Lawton's "insider account" of the trucker's convoy currently boasts that distinction, and it hasn't even been published yet. However, it was explained to me by an editor friend who helps writers prepare their work for self-publication.

How to have a best seller:

1. Seek out a category with no other recent publications. Lawton's #1 best seller is in the category "Politics in Government"; the #2 book in that category is an East Indian edition of "The Constitution of Canada", at $1.32, published in 2020. So...not a lot of competition for that number one slot.
2. Buy a ton of copies to ensure a huge initial spike. This works best if you work for a right wing video group blog like the Rebel or TN, which can make the initial purchase, write it off as a marketing expense, then sell the books through their site (or give them away as promo, prizes, or whatever.)

This spike in rankings obviously lasts until the next publication enters the category - usually a week or so later. Doesn't matter - the author can still claim a #1 Best Seller.

And now you know how even worthless, untalented human wreckage like Derek Smith or Sheila Gunn Reid can slime their way to a "bestseller."

I'm glad we had this little chat.

And already a best-seller, you say?

Unsurprisingly, Rebel News gushingly promotes a piece of literary swill by creepy loonbat Derek Smith entitled "How the Prime Minister Stole Freedom":

I look forward to Smith's subsequent potboilers, "Lock Him Up!" and "Nothing That a Bullet Couldn't Fix".

Chronicles of Twatrick: There are no words ...

I ... um ... wut?

So ... the man who dodged service for years and lied about it, lied to the court about what he promised to do and promised to deliver, was found in contempt of court twice, and filed such an utterly dishonest application that it was dismissed by the court as so "baseless and scandalous" that I was awarded enhanced costs will now ... lecture pompously on the civility and decorum of defendants.

I can't fucking speak.

Tamara Lich needs to go back to jail.

So what were those bail conditions again?

Sorry, what was the part about people she was to have no contact with?

Huh.

Can we put that treasonous, white nationalist Nazi twatwaffle back in jail now?

Fuck Canada Day. Madrid, here I come.

Given the potential utter asshattery of Canada Day in Ottawa wherein people who are total losers in every conceivable aspect of their lives (you know ... like David Menzies) are threatening to invade and have their trucks towed away again, I will be far, far away in a sane country, partaking of the native cuisine in every possible way.

Significantly, I already have a reservation at what is allegedly the oldest restaurant in the world -- Restaurant Botin, where one of the specialties is the roast suckling pig:

This will be preceded by an 8-hour layover at Pearson in Toronto, which will be somewhat ameliorated by it being spent in the Air Canada Signature Suite, where I will force myself to subsist on the decidedly sub-standard fare available:

Enjoy your hots tubs and bouncy castles, peasants. And, yes, Spain has gin. Like you had to ask.

Chronicles of Twatrick: Happy interestversary!

Yes, it is now 10 months since the Saskatchewan courts told Lloydminster's Patrick "Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen" Ross that he owes me $104,000 pursuant to my default 2010 judgment against him for malicious defamation, and also raised the accruing interest rate from 2 per cent to 5 per cent, which means that Patrick now owes me just south of $110K, an amount that is increasing by the day:

In addition, as others on social media have pointed out, Friday was Patrick's birthday, when he turned a decidedly middle-aged 41, so if one wants to wish happy returns of the day to a mid-life, trustee-less, undischarged bankrupt who has never owned a home, never run his own business, dropped out of university after seven years without a degree of any kind , spends his waking hours trolling people on Twitter and making unwatchable YouTube videos, and trying to come to terms with a crippling debt that he will most likely never pay off, well, have at it.

Join us next June 17 when Patrick celebrates another birthday from the comfort of his mom's basement.

BONUS TRACK: For what it's worth, the final collection attempt on Patrick's credit union account turned up nothing -- the account was apparently utterly empty -- suggesting that Patrick is either cleverly redirecting his income somewhere else in an attempt to conceal his assets from me and the Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy and the Saskatchewan sheriffs, or he is once again unemployed. Given the amount of time he spends online trolling others, I suspect the latter. But that's just a guess.

That is some burning stupid.

 

Seriously, how can someone be that much of an imbecile and even function in society?

Why Kawartha Dairy needs to fire Donna Sfetcos right now.

Hey, kids, remember this from a post a while back?

Which brings us to Donna Sfetcos:

who now seems perfectly happy to be the focus of fascist, Freedom Convoy sentiment, whereupon one Freedom Convoyer is going to stop off at that store for his ice cream and, after a while, he'll bring a friend, and they'll bring friends and, soon enough, the parking lot will be sprinkled with jacked-up trucks festooned with "FREEDOM!" and "Fuck Trudeau" flags and so on.

So you deal with it right now, and that starts by firing Donna Sfetcos' white nationalist, fascist ass.

Problem solved.

BONUS TRACK: It's worth appreciating how Sfetcos apparently went back on her word. Even Rebel News' coverage first pointed out how Sfetcos apparently agreed to simply not bring her politics to work:

So you'd think it was all resolved, right? Apparently not, as shortly thereafter, once Sfetcos became a Freedom Convoy star, she made it clear the flags were going back on:

In short, it could have all ended amicably, except for Sfetcos being utterly untrustworthy and having lied to her employer, which is just another reason to can her lying ass.

Rebel News' David Menzies openly encouraging harassment of Newmarket's Kawartha Dairy.

As that page from Rebel News has already been archived at the Wayback Machine, you can read it here without giving Rebel any clicks. As you can read for yourself, Menzies is positively gleeful over the fact that a gang of Freedom Convoy asshats descended on the Kawartha Dairy store in Newmarket for the obvious purpose of harassment and intimidation.

I'm sure Dave will insist that, hey, he's not promoting or advocating violence against Kawartha Dairy. Except that Dave is well aware of what sometimes happens when mentally unbalanced dingbats take what they read at Der Rebel a bit too seriously:

At what point can creepy stalkers like Menzies finally be held legally liable for the harassment their ugly news coverage inflicts on others?

PREDICTION: Imminent fundraiser for fascist employee Donna Sfetcos, after she is shit-canned for openly defying her employers. Let's watch.

Can Dr. Leslyn Lewis just fuck right off?

Seriously, just fuck off.

That is all.

Never mind the bollocks, here comes the fundraising.

Hey, kids, remember when Rebel News Obergruppenfuhrer Ezra Levant had his pasty ass handed to him by the Ontario Court of Appeal to the tune of just over a quarter million dollars:

I have been reliably informed that he has still not turned over any of that money because (and you know what's coming) he brought an application for leave to appeal to the Supreme Court of Canada, which is still pending. And if/when that silliness is kicked to the curb by the SCoC, Ezra will be asked to turn over all that cash forthwith, so if either Rebel News or its accounting department The Democracy Fund suddenly explode in a frenzy of desperate fundraising, I'm sure that would be just a coincidence.

JUXTAPOSE!

"Freedom Convoy" participants preparing to load up the big rigs and drive thousands of kilometres to Ottawa to protest (*checks notes*) the high cost of fuel.

OK, then.

Chronicles of Twatrick: The Traffic Light Conundrum.

It's not so much the image of Patrick Ross, sitting in his car for 12 minutes, seething with rage in front of a traffic light:

It's that, for someone on the run from the authorities and trying to evade his obligations under the bankruptcy regime and collection enforcement, he takes to social media to publish his location right down to the intersection.

Truly, he has a dizzying intellect.

A modest proposal for the next "Freedom Convoy."

I won't take credit for this idea, but I endorse it wholeheartedly. When the next Freedom Convoy rolls into town and sets up shop on residential streets by parking there for days on end, here's the plan. Buy a simple can of black spray paint and, late at night when everyone is sleeping, spray-paint swastikas on the doors and sides and back of those big rigs.

If those people want to act like Nazis, they might as well identify as such.

It's a liability thing, you know.

Recent commenter points out the amusing developments over at Rebel News related to who is officially (and legally) in charge:

Now, it's not just that three of those asshats (Berzigan, Monsanto and Humphrey) are literally children, or that Humphrey is possibly the stupidest person in Canada (with the exception of Lorrie Goldstein) ... no, it's the notable absence of one Ezra Levant, or as that commenter speculates:

"I wonder if these kids understand the nature of their own personal liability as Directors should any dubious funding, revenue reporting, taxation, or other issues arise. I note that Ezra is not a "Director"; very wise, since it's the Directors left holding the bag when the shit hits the fan, not the shareholder."

A fair point -- when the hammer falls, it's no longer going to fall on Ezra, but on some truly stupid children who were almost certainly unaware of what they were signing up for.

If any of them have lawyers, a phone call might be in order.

JUXTAPOSEAPOSEAPOSE!

Before arrest: "We will fight on the beaches, we will fight on the sidewalks, we will fight with our hot tubs and bouncy castles and George Foreman grills and we will never, ever surrender. We will die for our beliefs! FREEDOM!!!"

After arrest:

After release: "I have no regrets, booyah, fuckin' A, FREEDOM, BITCHEZ!!!"

CPC MP Candice Bergen is a disgusting mound of right-wing, racist, MAGA trash.

That's it. That's the post.

Ezra Levant's mortgage: How's that working out?

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a piece wondering about the progress of Ezra Levant's crowdfunding to buy his own office building, after Ezra was (allegedly) turned down for a mortgage because he was a conservative. As you can see from that piece, at the time, the crowdfunder had collected 68% of the goal of 1,000 donations.

Interestingly, if one pops over to that fundraising page here, that status is unchanged -- still 68% -- suggesting that maybe, just maybe, some people are beginning to suffer from Ezra Begging Bowl Fatigue, being asked in every single piece published at Rebel News to open their wallets and subsidize Ezra's studio, or video equipment, or overseas travel, or constitutional lawsuits, or real estate holdings, or whatever. Which inspires the obvious question:

How's that office building purchase coming along?

Seriously, given that Ezra very explicitly claimed that he was raising money for the purchase of a building, if that's not happening, then where is all that cash going? Surely that is not an unreasonable question to ask. And if anyone knows anything more about that story, well, that's what the comments section is for.

Well, this is an interesting development.

 

The most shocking thing about this story is Lauren Boebert being "high price," when one would have assumed she could be had for a bottle of Jack Daniels and a pack of Marlboros.

P.S. Only $157 dollars more at the fundraiser, and you get the next installment in the ongoing series, "The Grift of the MAGA."

I made that up. You can't just use that.

No, it wasn't a "peaceful, lawful" protest. Deal with it.

It's annoying to listen to the uninformed yobs who supported the Freedumb Convoy continue to insist that it was all both peaceful and legal. To that end, I'm going to send you somewhere to read something, then I'll give you an assignment.

If you want to understand the strict regulations related to rallies and/or demonstrations held on Parliament Hill, you can read them here. Take your time so you can truly appreciate how many laws were broken by the idiot Truckers Convoy and, when you're done, here's your assignment.

Out of all those regulations, which is your favourite? Seriously, out of the myriad black-and-white regulations that govern precisely how people are and are not allowed to rally on the Hill, which is -- in your opinion -- the most egregious violation? Yes, it's a bit of a challenge since there are so many possibilities but give it a shot, and leave your answer in the comments section so we can, once and for all, dispense with this maddening "It was a lawful protest" bullshit.

JUXTAPOSE!

Canadian "Freedom Convoy" truckers and supporters who had no problem driving across the country and burning hundreds or thousands of dollars worth of fuel to do it currently complaining about the outrageous cost of gas.

This will never stop being funny.

 

On another note, only $182 more in the fundraiser and you get the next installment of "Chronicles of Ezra", wherein we check out how Ezra admits he put $96,000 on his personal American Express card in order to hand over fundraiser cash to the Red Cross.