Military secrecy for me, but not for thee.

(CC NEWS) -- In a disturbing development, Canada's military has just revealed that it will no longer report on soldiers wounded on the battlefield, except on an annual basis.

In a written statement Tuesday, Canada's task force commander, Brig.-Gen. Dan Menard, said the directive was necessary.

The army does not want militants "to link the number of wounded with any particular incident," he said.

"If the insurgents knew how many soldiers were wounded in each particular incident, they could use this information to improve their tactics in the future and cause more Canadian casualties."

Continued Menard, "Of course, we'll be doing exactly the opposite going the other way, in that we will immediately and gleefully announce all of the innocent civilians -- women and children included -- massacred due to our disorganized and indiscriminate bombing raids. That'll put the fear of our Christian God into those ragheads, let me tell you. Front page news, fuckin' A!""

Menard went on to enthusiastically describe the wicked, kick-ass power of rocket-powered grenades and what they can do to a human skull, until an aide frantically drew the press conference to an end and hustled Menard off.