Dear Brenda: Have I got a deal for you!

First, there's one of the ubiquitous voices of modern Canadian conservatism, one "maryT", bitching and whining about those annoying students at the U of Ottawa:

I wonder how many of those students are there on their own dime, without any loans or parent's help. Bet not many, so, until they pay their own bills, and go to a university funded without taxpayers help, they have no rights to decide who can or can't speak. What if we taxpayers decided they didn't have a right to attend said university. What if we taxpayers told them they had to shut up, and couldn't speak. Hey, it is our institution, expel them all.
Use their tactics against them.
I would like the names of all those idiots, and when they apply for another student loan, DENIED.
When they apply for a job with the UofO on their resume, DENIED.
Maybe they could join iggy's ditch digging brigade.

Yeah! Fucking students, with their classes and studying and facts and knowledge and education and right to free speech and everything. What the fuck do they have to say worth listening to? On a similar note, of course, one wonders if we could all take a vote and deny maryT, say, publicly-funded medical coverage. They're my tax dollars -- why the fuck should I pay for maryT's medical bills? Useless, parasitic bitch, that one, you bet.

But maryT's whining pales by comparison with "Hunter"/Brenda's pathetically perpetual whining about -- what else? -- leftards:

Hey, here's an idea, why don't I totally ban all lefty trolls from my site so that they have NO ability to speak? It worked at the UofO!

Or as a Conservative am I not allowed to shut up anyone who posts on my blog, but lefties can shut down a Conservative at a publicly funded university and that's okay?

Here's a thought, Brenda -- why don't you ban all lefties from your blog, just so we don't have to listen to you bitching and moaning and kvetching about it day after day, month after month, year after year? Because, holy fucking shit, you're getting tiresome, complaining every few days about exactly the same thing -- how all those annoying lefties keep showing up at your place and handing you your doughy ass on a plate intellectually every single time.

Really, Brenda, it has to be painful for even your mentally-defective groupies to listen to you kvetch about that again and again and again and again and again and again. We get it, fer Chrissake -- you're an irredeemable retard and you really don't like people dropping by to point that out. So just ban those folks and, for the love of God, shut the fuck up about it.

And if you need help, well, regular readers might remember how I made it painfully easy for Canada's wankers to make it clear they don't want any dissenting opinions in their little, cat crap-filled sandboxes. Remember this, Brenda? I created that blog expressly for mewling little runts like you who officially allow lefties to post at their places, only to moderate or censor any criticism, then perpetually bitch about those people showing up.

So here's your chance, Brenda. Make your life easy -- just let me know that you would like to officially register as one of Canada's Whiny Wankers, and I will do everything in my power to convince smart, educated people to stop trying to educate you. Really, Brenda, it's not hard. Just drop me a note along the lines of:

Dear CC:

I am tired of being exposed as a complete retard by people orders of magnitude smarter than me, so please tell them to stop trying to educate me since that is an utter waste of time.

Yours in appalling ignorance and suffocating douchebagitude,
Brenda

See? Easy peasy, Brenda. Then people would stop wasting their time pointing out your screeching stupidity, and you could stop whining about it day after day. A win-win all around, wouldn't you say?

So let's go, Brenda. Drop me a short note, and I'll set the wheels in motion, and all those lefty trolls will stop hassling you and you can enjoy your hermetically-sealed bubble of stupid with maryT and the rest of the Canadian Idiot-sphere.

Don't say I never did you any favours.

BONUS DUMBTH: Some unintentional hilarity from Brenda:

Oh, I don't censor you lefty trolls, I just get tired of you contributing nothing but rants against me, my blog and my "real" posters.

I only let you out once in awhile so people who read my blog can see the far left Liberal viewpoint.

This would suggest that Brenda's regular readers are really too stupid to realize that, if they want to see the "far left Liberal" viewpoint, they could always just go read, you know, a far left Liberal blog.

I'm guessing that logical construction is simply too sophisticated for Brenda's readers. These are not what you call deep thinkers.

SPEAKING OF DEEP THINKING ... I completely overlooked this intellectual gem of Brenda's from that earlier comment:

... why don't I totally ban all lefty trolls from my site so that they have NO ability to speak?

Good thinking, Brenda! Because if they can't comment at your blog, God only knows how they'll get their message out there!

I seriously wonder if, late at night, Brenda's husband rolls over, looks wistfully at her sleeping, and wonders if he could get away with burying her in the garden, then telling the kids and neighbours she's stripping in Atlantic City. God knows, if I was married to Brenda, the thought would cross my mind.