You know you've arrived ...

... when you become part of the course curriculum.

WELL, THAT FUCKING SUCKS! Thanks a lot, Janke, you tool. As one can read from that piece of mine from 2007, I had a bit of fun taking some of Janke's dimwit commenters to task for, well, being dimwits. You know, for not understanding the concepts of "pro bono" or "computer-generated." And yet, if you visit the relevant post of the eJankulator today ... what's this? "Comments: 0."

Fuck you, Steve Janke. Fuck you and that whole worthless pack of lying douchebags, the Blogging Tories, who have made entire careers out of running around and deleting and scrubbing and sanitizing to get rid of their embarrassing traces on the Intertoobz. Those comments were an educational part of the Bloggysphere -- you know, the part that shows how right whingers are morons. And now they're all gone.

I'm sure you'll blame the technology.

Tool.

Why, yes, I'm available for local gigs. Why do you ask?

I'm in the mood to slag a few folks in front of an audience one of these days, so if you're willing to organize an evening venue somewhere, I could be talked into being as amusing and cynical as possible for an hour or two.

It shouldn't be hard to come up with a presentation topic. I'm thinking, maybe, "Canada's conservatives: What the bloody fucking hell?"

But I'm open to suggestions.

Shocked! Shocked I be!

There was the excruciatingly painful fawning. Then there are the people who aren't total morons:

Delegates walk out of Palin’s first international speech.

Sarah Palin made her international debut today in a closed-door speech at the CLSA Investors’ Forum in Hong Kong. AFP reports that Palin’s speech, which touched on issues like international terrorism and the U.S. debt, “divided” the audience and even prompted a few delegates to leave in disgust:

Former US vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin divided an international audience of financial big-hitters at her first speech outside North America on Wednesday with some leaving in disgust. [...]

Some listeners praised her forthright views on government social and economic intervention but others walked out early citing boredom or disgust. [...]

A US delegate leaving early with a colleague said: “it was awful, we couldn’t stand it any longer.”

And this is about when reality makes an ugly and unwelcome appearance:

Sarah's lectures a tough sell

Palin's bookers are said to be asking for $100,000 per speech, but an industry expert tells Page Six: "The big lecture buyers in the US are paralyzed with fear about booking her, basically because they think she is a blithering idiot." ...

"Palin is so uninteresting to so many groups -- unless they are interested in moose hunting," said our insider. "What does she have to say? She can't even describe what she reads."

Mercifully, Sarah still has her adoring fans. Those would be the people who are even more spectacular intellectual cripples. If that's even possible.

Slow news day ...

... at Dumbass Central.

STRANGELY, while there really is a recent issue of some import, democracy-wise -- the notion that a federal judiciary should be beholden to the governing party -- Stephen "Captain Democracy" Taylor is curiously silent on the matter. How odd. It's almost like he sees no problem with that.

Nah, that can't be right. That would be just idiotic.

One of these things is not like the other.

Really, awesomely fucking stupid people. Not awesomely fucking stupid people.

I trust you can appreciate the difference.

You keep using that word "troll" ...

Over at Adrian MacNair's House of Litigation and Whiny, Panty-Tugging Martyrdom, Adrian's meticulously pre-screened commenters are consoling each other over the annoying tenacity of some people:

One thing that really spoils my enjoyment is when a blog is taken over by trolls, who then flood it with usually very long and generally incoherent if not downright offensive rants. Hunter at Climbing out of the Dark used to have a problem, Stephen Taylor seems to have one these days, and I’m sorry to hear you have been targeted too. The only conclusion to draw is that certain blogs are being influential in what they write about, and certain parties are unhappy about it.

Here, let me correct that. The reason that "Hunter" was the recipient of such attention is that it takes for-fucking-ever to explain something to her. In short, we wouldn't need to post dozens and dozens of comments if Brenda weren't so unspeakably, horrifically retarded.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

Sure, let's talk about civility.

You can start. In other news, we on the Left sometimes leave disagreeable comments on other peoples' blogs. Yeah, that kind of evens out.

SPEAKING OF CIVILITY ... um, this should make you nervous. Should we take any bets on whether a single one of Canada's Blogging Tories suggests that, OK, maybe things are getting just a wee bit out of hand?

I'm guessing Mr. Democracy Stephen Taylor will be unavailable for comment.

I'm guessing "Neo Conservative" can't wait to blog about another dead darkie.

Now I'm just being cruel.

If I enjoy pointing out how the New York Times "Blogrunner" service keeps linking to us here at CC HQ:



does that make me a bad person? (Link.)

Heh.

I'd forgotten how funny this guy is.

Red Sweater Vests, Go!

Interesting how the more partisan a writer becomes, the less credible they can stand to be. There's no mystery that impolitical is a favourite of this site. Her writing tends to be razor sharp, smart and on point. That is until the party politics start to ramp up and then it becomes jazz hands and rapid blinking. Regarding the Liberal's ham-fisted blundering in Quebec...

A point on Coderre's move today, resigning as "Quebec lieutenant."

The vestige of a provincial "lieutenant" with untold power seems to be an antiquated holdover from days gone by.

Scare quotes! Who'd a thunk it? And anyway I never liked you that much anyway and now I got a new BFF so, like, whatever. I am so over you, keh. C'mon guys we don't need this loser.

Yo! Adrian!

Geez, Raph, would you like some cheese with that whine? Amusingly, Adrian's idea of a "malicious attack" is ... people annoying him with their comments.

Drama queen.

AFTERSNARK: There's a certain irony to listening to Canada's wanknuts blathering on and on about how, dadgummit, they are so going to stand tall and chisel-jawed and defend Canada against the evil, swarthy Islamojihadirastamuhammadans, then pissing themselves in terror because, well, someone left a comment they didn't like on their blog and would all you big meanies just stop it or you'll make the baby Jeebus and the wanknuts cry!

Democracy's latest danger: Improvised, explosive blog comments.

Sure, Stephen, let's talk about the economy.

Canada's "Captain Democracy" Stephen Taylor fluffingly and lovingly reports on the adventures of his BFF Stephen Harper:

Nothing is more important than the Canadian economy

That's a nice philosophy. In fact, off the top of my head, I can think of how Stephen the Corpulent could have saved us, oh, millions of dollars down the road:

Abdelrazik sues Canada for $27-million

And assuming Abousfian Abdelrazik gets only half of what he's suing for, one wonders what could have been done with $13 million. Oh, look:

Indian Affairs Minister Chuck Strahl said that an unexpected fire in another native community meant having to replace the school at a cost of $13 million” (Toronto Star)

Wow. So you can build a whole new school in a native community for $13 million. That is some missed opportunity there, wouldn't you say, Mr. Taylor? But feel free to keep lecturing us on the topic of good economic stewardship. We need the chuckles.

Orly, Orly, Orly ...

... did you sleep through all those law school classes?

The Angry, Angry Left: Redux.

A few people getting together for a quiet discussion. What can possibly go wrong? "Hunter" and "Dodo" would feel right at home.

Ignatieff: More Win Unhad

Back before and during the last election, there was a sense that the Liberal party not only did not respond effectively to the smears and attacks directed at leader Stephane Dion but that the party chose not to defend the leader. Or perhaps more accurately, the factions of the party lining up behind presumptive front runners Ignatieff and Rae left Dion to dangle in the breeze. That was a breeze that the Conservatives were only too happy to populate with feces. The curious failure of the Liberals to mount any sort of defence of their leader, and by extension their party, saw them drop a handy number of seats to the poop flinging Cons.

In the fallout, a brief tussle between Ignatieff and Rae made it apparent that Ignatieff had assembled the greater internal faction and he went on to leadership by acclamation. There is now a strong sense that the Ignatieff Liberals are run by a cadre of back-room boys working out of Toronto. Watching the Liberal's recent performance (using that term lightly) there's a stink of focus group in the air with just a hint of waffle. Among the war room heroes are such noble creatures as Warren Kinsella, a fellow whose name has appeared in more than one paragraph adjacent to the term douche bag. Kinsella is a long time Liberal... um, thingie person. Apart from his eternal combativeness and reputation for litigiousness, perhaps his greatest public claim to fame is as a former scribe for the National Post. A status that lends him an air of credibility equivalent to that afforded Raphelxander MacNadrian.

Mere weeks after serving the public up a helping of mock bravado loaf, wherein acclaimed leader Ignatieff threw down the gauntlet and declared his intent to bring down the Harper government, the Libs bumble along. And now there are deep cracks forming in the Liberal ice. In a display of political acumen worthy of a two year tenure limit as leader, Ignatieff has played a game of internal politics in Quebec against his own respected lieutenant Denis Coderre.

Days after federal Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff overuled one of his decisions, Bourassa MP Denis Coderre has announced he is stepping aside.

He said at a press conference that he no longer has the "moral authority" to continue as Quebec lieutenant after former cabinet minister Martin Cauchon was confirmed as the Outremont candidate.

Coderre had favoured newcomer Nathalie Le Prohon for the Outremont nomination but was overruled by the party leader.

Nothing says victory like playing the autocrat from Toronto card in La Belle Province. Michael Ignatieff, snatching defeat from the jaws of, um, a slightly less harrowing defeat. If the leader can't lead within his own party and compounds that by flip-flopping on promises made to important and loyal advisers, why should the electorate trust his word? Quebec is, arguably, the battleground for the next potential Liberal upsurge. If the Liberals are ever to form another government, they'll have to hold the Cons at bay in the rest of the country and rout them in Quebec. Well, if your legs are going to get cut out from under you, you might as well do it yourself I suppose.

Um, Interesting...

The Angry, Angry Left.

In unrelated news, we leftards sometimes use intemperate language. So we're even, right?

A monkey at the monolith, that's what we're talking about here.

A Conservative Minister intellectually over his head:

OTTAWA -- Public Safety Minister Peter Van Loan says he fears for the government's ability to fight terrorism in light of "an increasingly complex legal environment" in which judges are no longer deferring to the government in its efforts to deport foreign suspects.

When it comes to Peter Van Barney Rubble, I'm guessing "increasingly complex" also applies to him noticing that a Thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold and how the heck does it know?

It helps to have friends in snarky places.

Why, yes, I do have a certain amount of influence. Why do you ask?



Notice anyone new?

Although actually reading it would make for a better argument.

Blogging Tory "Officially Screwed" figures he's got the goods:

Beckbytes – Arguing With Idiots About Capitalism II

From Glenn Beck’s new book Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government comes this clip about privatization.

A.D.D. Moment – New Zealand corporatized their postal service in 1987. As Cornell professor Richard Geddes notes, that change “led to improvements in efficiency, a 40% reduction in the system’s workforce, a doubling in labor productivity, a decrease in the cost of sending a letter and a decrease in the price of a basic stamp.” And they did it all without impacting service in either rural or urban communities.

It's embarrassing when you can blow holes in someone's arguments using their own words (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

New Zealand, Cornell economist Richard Geddes points out, offers an instructive case. While the island nation did not privatize its postal service, it corporatized it in 1987. The move ultimately led to improvements in efficiency, a 40% reduction in the system's workforce, a doubling in labor productivity, a decrease in the cost of sending letter and a decrease in the price of a basic stamp. Moreover, New Zealand was able to accomplish all of this and maintain comprehensive service to both urban and rural communities.

The dangers of illiteracy.

P.S. You do, of course, appreciate Beck's dishonesty in clearly copying from that Forbes article, yet carefully excising the critical phrase, "did not privatize," then hoping no one noticed the difference. And, true to form, really, really stupid people didn't.

It's funny how that works, isn't it?

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: OK, I'm going to give that website's author props for correcting the misinformation. But here's a thought -- what if he(?) were to do some actual research and report on how well postal system privatization worked around the world, in different countries? That would be a post worth reading. As long as he didn't get all his information from Glenn Beck.

I TAKE IT BACK: Based on his comment, he's still a twit.

P.P.S. Glenn Beck is still a dishonest, lying douchebag. That hasn't changed.

SUH-NAPP!!

Metro wins the thread.

Wow.

Just ... wow. I'm not sure I can even make fun of Brenda anymore. There's nothing left to parody.

BONUS TRACK: One might point out the following to Brenda:

But why should we hear about body bags, and deaths, and how many, what day it's gonna happen, and how many this or what do you suppose? Or, I mean, it's, it's not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that? And watch him suffer."
— Barbara Bush on "Good Morning America," March 18, 2003

but one suspects that Brenda's only response would be a confused, "I don't get it ... what's your point?"

Socialism for me, but not for thee.

Via West End Bob at TGB, we learn that some major opponents of health care reform down south are, well, conveniently selective in their condemnation of socialized medicine:



One is reminded of Republican Phil Gramm, who seems to have done nicely as well:

Gramm, the great crusader against government spending, has spent his entire life on the government tit. He was born at a military hospital, raised on his father’s Army pay, went to private school at Georgia Military Academy on military insurance after his father died, paid for his college tuition with same, got a National Defense Fellowship to graduate school, taught at a state-supported school, and made generous use of his Senate expense account.

One can only conclude that the same poor yobs who are demanding no taxpayer-funded health care, yet worship people like Dick Armey, are some of the dumbest human beings to ever evolve opposable thumbs.

And I'm being charitable.

How fucking stupid is Jason Kenney?

This fucking stupid:



Apparently, we can now refer to the inane rantings of Maria "Dodo Can Drool" Nunes and racist eliminationism of "Neo Conservative" as official Harper government pronouncements. The possible entertainment value here is pretty much off the scale, wouldn't you say?

(Wag of the tail to commenter Cherniak_WTF.)

Hey, aren't you someone? No, but I used to be.

Apparently, even Kathy "Five Feet of Strap-On" Shaidle and Arnie "Six Feet of Ball Gag" Lemaire aren't enough to pull in the big names. And after that fiasco is over and the impressive attendance is announced, don't forget that those idiots can't count.

Sunday Funnies.

I miss Sesame Street.



It's a grey, rainy Sunday and I'm blogging in my pyjamas -- how cliché.

Dear Catholics: How's it hangin', eh?

And a happy fucking Sunday to you, too.

A big hand for the little lady.

And as further evidence that the New York Times never links to us, here's the New York Times linking to us:



And Dr. Dawg. Him, too.

Dear National Post: Defensive much?

Yes, it seems like I'm picking on poor Adrian/Raphael but this is more of a National Post smackdown. We open with the batshit stupid Adrian-ness, and its date and time of publication:



On that same page, we are educated as to the rules defining interaction with the public:



The piece is barely up when the readers start weighing in on a regular basis:



But, suddenly and considerably ahead of schedule, someone has apparently had enough of that annoying public and that's the end of the comments.


Canada's National Post: Because when it comes to "free speech," oh, fuck off, nobody cares what you think.

Awwwwwwkward.

Oh, to have been there:

What Happens When The ‘Ron Paul Revolution’ Meets Michele Bachmann

Yesterday, the Young Americans for Liberty sponsored an event at the University of Minnesota that brought together the odd pairing of Reps. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) and Ron Paul (R-TX). Bachmann solicited Paul for the event, hoping that his presence would help her attract support from young conservatives and libertarians.

Writing for The Daily Beast, Maureen O’Connor notes that the event melded two “wingnut worlds“: “the fanatically religious Bush-era neocon, a flag-waving patriot who likens gay sex to bestiality and fantasizes about lobbing nukes at Iran” and the libertarian “Ron Paul Revolution.” Indeed, for Bachmann, the presence of Paul created numerous awkward moments, particularly as the Texas congressman sermonized at length about his isolationist views. For example, Paul said:

– We should never go to war if they’re telling us a lie about what’s happening. … We took the position, over my strong objection, we took the position that we had to have regime change in Iraq.

– What they’re getting ready to do is put very, very strong sanctions on Iran. … But sanctions, and blockades, and prevention like this is an act of war.

– The proper foreign policy under the Constitution is non-intervention and mind our own business.

– I say bring all the troops home — Japan, Korea, and Germany.

For Bachmann — a typical neoconservative on foreign policy issues — Paul’s rhetoric stunned her into stone-cold silence. O’Connor describes the scene:

As Paul spoke passionately about ending all military operations and keeping government out of people’s “lifestyles,” a lone heckler began to shout, “Tell her!” Bachmann remained serene, hands folded in her lap, facing Paul. Bringing up Obama’s announcement that Iran had secret underground nuclear facilities, Paul announced that he had had enough of “fear-mongering” for the sake of the “military-industrial complex.” Bachmann, who once advocated nuking Iran, kept her eyes trained on Paul as her heckler repeated, “Tell her! Tell Michele! Tell her!”

Thank God there's video.

That sound you hear is panties clutched to the point of rending.

Blogging Tory Hugh MacIntyre (and a number of other screeching, frothing BTs, I might add) is all about the appalling indoctrination of little kids:

I can see the Republicans' complaint about the first song. It is actively promoting a policy agenda and no ethical teacher should be manipulating children this way.

And then there's reality.

I need more of a challenge. Seriously.

You keep abusing that word "progressive" ...

Blogging Tory Eric "Diogenes Borealis" is out to reclaim what was done took from him:

I find it annoying that the political left has appropriated the word "progressive".

Eric has a good point, since it would make much more sense to return that word to Eric and his ideological fellow travellers -- you know, the folks who reject biological evolution and other large swaths of modern science, oppose same-sex marriage, think women are second-class citizens whose baby-making parts should be controlled by the state, have an inordinate dislike for dark people and immigrants and, in large part, uncritically worship a large, invisible sky fairy who is said to grant their deepest desires if only they ask for it politely enough. Sure, Eric, why not? Nothing grotesquely bizarre about that suggestion.

And here's the money quote:

Commenting in the National Post, Kelly McParland had this to say about the mayor's progressivism:

One of the most frustrating things about dealing with left-wingers is their imperviousness to reality.

Ah, Kelly McParland ... that would be the sub-genius who runs the National Post's "Full Comment" feature and has published such intellectual powerhouses as Stephen Taylor, Steve Janke and Adrian "Raphael Alexander" MacNair, and is now looking down his nose at people who allegedly have a tough time with reality. Go figure.

The implosion of the Post can't come soon enough for me. One only hopes no women or children are injured in the blast.

Shorter Adrian MacNair: Poor people amuse me.

Continuing to impersonate a complete horse's ass, Blogging Tory Adrian "Raphael Alexander" MacNair wrings a little entertainment value out of poking fun at the less fortunate, leading things off with this pic:



That would be the photo that drove the Rightard Douchebag-o-sphere crazy with rage, "Oh, man, people who use soup kitchens have cell phones, how poor can they be, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!," apparently unaware that numerous people who live in homeless shelters might have a very cheap or subsidized cell phone plan to keep in touch with the shelter to learn of short-term day labour work at which they can make a few dollars, but let's not let reality intrude in such an ugly way since it would take some of the fun out of mocking the less well-heeled. I'd go on but Salon's Alex Koppelman has already kicked the crap out of Adrian and similarly-minded ignorant, pompous cretins.

Besides, I'm sure some of those poor people have funny names and darker skin, and we already know what Adrian thinks of those parasites.

OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Commenter "dymphna" is totally down with Adrian's slapping around the poor. Oh, wait ... what's this?

Since the economy tanked and my husband became unemployed, we’re learning to make do on savings (I’m disabled). We have regular fund drives — blegs — to pay for connectivity and the costs of keeping up the blog. So far so good.

I stumbled into your discussion by accident but since it speaks so well to what we think about and discuss in our new “old times” living, I want to put a post up with a link to your story. If my energy holds up, anyway.

BTW, I’m pleased to say that our Canadian readers have been generous.

Huh. How about that? Apparently, all those self-sufficient, personally responsible whingers are all about sucking it up and looking after yourself, until things go south for them. Then they can't start begging for help fast enough.

How ... curious.

"Yo, Martha ...

" ... we might be needing some new dogs in a few minutes."



"Or maybe not."

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

Who knew Yosemite Sam was a tea bagger?

So how's that journalistic career going, Adrian?

Oh, my. What have we here?

Raphael Alexander: What the Liberals knew about Abousfian Abdelrazik

How ... curious. Even though Adrian's real name is now publicly available, the National Post ("Canada's National Litter Box Liner") continues to publish him under his former pseudonym. With no hint that it is a pseudonym, that's he's been served with a notice of libel, and nary a whiff of his entertaining and racist background.

Here's a thought -- I figure we might drop in at the Post and point some of this stuff out. After all, that's what comments sections are for, wouldn't you say?

THE STUPID IS JUST FUCKING AWESOME: Behold, from the comments section there:

by welldoneson

We NEED laws to state that regardless whether a person is now a citizen of Canada, Canada will NOT be responsible if said citizen gets himself in a jam by going back to his country of origin. Look at the countries involved in these cases: Syria, Sudan, and Somalia.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, people, if you want restitution get it from those countries - after all, you were born there and went back of your own free will.

If "welldoneson" is referring to Suaad Hagi Mohamud, I wonder if he's even aware that Mohamud is a native Somalian but that her troubles happened in Kenya. I'm guessing not. That would take a certain amount of awareness.

Honestly, I just wet myself.

The set-up:

UNITED NATIONS — Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon says he'll give Moammar Gadhafi no opportunity next week to avoid an official scolding from the Canadian government — promising to "greet" the Libyan dictator as he gets off his plane in Newfoundland.

The punchline:

"As we promote human rights and as we denounce terrorism, we still have to live within the world community and, in that regard, we're obviously not going to deny fuel for his plane," Cannon said.

Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon, determined to lecture someone else on "human rights." That would be this Lawrence Cannon.

You can't make this stuff up.

I'll take "Holy crap, I didn't see THAT coming!!" for $400, Alex.

Thank God for comment moderation. Without it, you'd have freewheeling, unencumbered intellectual discussions breaking out all over the place. What would the children think?

Heh.

I love me some Interboobz.

When the monsters turn on their creators: Part 8,529.

Blogging Tory Adrian "Raphael Alexander" MacNair really is the gift that keeps on giving. Every time I pop back there, another nugget of dumbassery is delivered into my waiting hands.

Here's one of Adrian's commenters, yapping on about the Abdelrazik-flavoured injustice and opportunism, having learned well at the feet of her master:

Fay Says:

These type of Canadians are becoming very predictable. Ask not what your country can do for you!!!

Amusingly, Adrian -- having for quite some time slagged numerous brown folk as being not real Canadians or just Canadians of "Convenience" -- now tries to pass himself off as the voice of reason and moderation:

Hang on now Fay. Without any evidence of wrong-going, I don’t see why Mr.Abdelrazik was denied repatriation in a timely manner.

Sorry, Adrian, but it's a bit late for that. You've been a shrieking racist for so long, demeaning dual citizens and questioning their creds, that you don't get to start walking it back now.

You encouraged Neandertals like Fay to spew their bigotry all over the Intertoobz. And now that you're hanging out there for everyone to see, you want to transmogrify into a thoughful moderate to salvage your rep? I think not.

Show some fucking spine, Adrian, old boy. Embrace your racism. Own it. Or are you just a Conservative of Convenience when circumstances call for it?

Well, aren't WE all just high and mighty?

Shorter Stephen Harper Party of Canada: "Stupid professors with all their knowledge and learning and facts and everything."

P.S. There's a delightful hypocrisy in Canada's Cons denigrating academics while simultaneously never shutting the hell up about how Stephen Harper is an "economist" because he has a Master's degree in the subject.

Cognitive dissonance much?

BONUS TRACK: Stephen Harper: Economist!

DOUBLE BONUS: Following a link from Chet's place, we find the one sentence that lays bare exactly what this conflict is all about:

And in Dover, Pennsylvania, during one of these many controversies, a pastor named Ray Mummert delivers the line that both ends our tour and, in every real sense, sums it up:

"We've been attacked," he says, "by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."

Words fail me.

Wicked.

What Drifty said.

Rose: A little late to the party.

Over at Adrian's, commenter "Rose" isn't quite sure how one can libel a "pseudonymous" blogger:

Can one actually sue when you used a moniker or alias instead of said given name?

Here's a hint, Rose.

This has been another installment of "People who should shut the hell up until they get a clue."

Really, Adrian? No way! Get outta town!

Shorter imminent courtroom pinata Adrian "Raphael Alexander" MacNair: "Have you heard about this Abousfian Abdelrazik thing? Here, let me mindlessly reproduce almost the entire article so I sound smart. And like I care."

P.S. It's fun watching Adrian suddenly feigning concern, given that he still considers Canadians to fall into two categories: real Canadians and, well, you know:

But although my wife and her parents are Canadian citizens, it’s clear who is the real Canadian citizen, and who are “Canadian citizens”. Perhaps this will help my detractors understand why I put quotations around some citizens of this country. Or perhaps not.

Canada: Where your Canadian passport doesn't necessarily get you past the Adrian MacNair purity test.

I’ll take “Mouthbreathing Misogyny” for $600, Alex.

Shorter Susie ALL-CAPS: If women didn’t act like such stupid sluts all the time, there wouldn’t be any need for abortion.

Albatross!

Albatross, for Christ's sake!



Thank ya very much.

Dear Prime Minister Stephen Harper:

If you love the U.S. so much, would you please just fucking move there already? And take that whiny, racist runt Kathy Shaidle with you.

What? I said "runt."

Somehow, the word "dumbass" doesn't do this justice.

Sweet Jebus on a pogo stick, you have to see it to believe it:



Yes, BB, in the context of Twitter, "bit.ly" denotes an unabashed adoration of all things Libyan.

How do these people even put on their panties the right way round in the morning?

Thanksgiving ... not that far away.

Turbaconucken!



The other white meat.

Kinda saw that coming.

Fomenting anti-government sentiment, whipping the masses into a frenzy, suggesting that the census is simply a prelude to internment camps ... what could possibly go wrong?

Oh, that.

I blame the Liberals.

Some mighty fine reading.

A lot of this should sound uncomfortably familiar. Remind you of any blogging aggregator you know?

Ah, yes, the crippling irony.

Over at Kate McMillan's White Folks Bar and Grill, guest blogger EBD gets all moral compassy and everything (no link -- if you want to read, go find it yourself):

A Moral Compass

Un-Liberal Prime Minister Stephen Harper, speaking in Oakville today:

Ahmadinejad's declarations, particularly recently, particularly...not just the detention of Canadian citizens, not just the flagrant abuse of human rights, but his recent declarations - just disgraceful, insulting declarations denying the holocaust - there is no way I'm going to permit any official of the Government of Canada to be present and give any legitimacy to remarks by a leader like that.

Yeah ... Stephen Harper lecturing others on the flagrant abuse of human rights, including the appalling mistreatment of Canadian citizens. It could only be funnier if he went on to condemn racism, fiscal mismanagement and incivility in modern politics.

In related news, numerous Blogging Tories joined in the chorus of condemnation of Holocaust deniers, then promptly went back to telling anyone who would listen that climate change is a liberal myth, and that whole "evolution" thing is total leftard bunk.

DOUBLE PLUS GOOD IRONY: Yes, Mr. Harper ... why don't you lecture us all on the abuse of peoples' rights? Let me make myself comfortable first.

P.S. I love the fact that that worthless turd Lawrence Cannon is named personally in the suit. Ruining him utterly in every way imaginable would almost be worth cracking a bottle of my 2006 Dead Arm Shiraz.

Almost.

Jesus, Stephen, what are you, eight?

And just because it's the gift that keeps on giving, we'll revisit Canada's "Captain Democracy" Stephen Taylor to get a good look at the intellectual level of conservative discourse these days. Behold, the CPoC defense that Stephen seems so fond of:

ACTION PLAN WEBSITE: CORRECTING THE RECORD

Canadian Press reporter Bruce Cheadle has falsely reported that photographs of the Prime Minister have been removed from www.actionplan.gc.ca .

These reports are not true. Here are the facts:

* No photographs of the Prime Minister have been removed from the Action Plan website;

* Canadians have a right to know where and how the Government’s stimulus is being spent, and the Action Plan website helps provide this accountability;

* In addition, the website contains important information for Canadians on certain stimulus measures like the Home Renovation Tax Credit that are only available for a limited time.

Let's address the above a point at a time, shall we? The first point is obviously the contentious one, so feel free to argue it from either side, because it's not the one we care about. It's after that that things get positively infantile:

Canadians have a right to know where and how the Government’s stimulus is being spent, and the Action Plan website helps provide this accountability;

What. The. Fuck?

What in God's name does that claim have to do with anything? Of course we have a right to know how the money is being spent. No one's arguing that, so what does it have to do with the pissing contest at hand?

Oh. Now I get it.

See, this is what you call "arguing in bad faith." Or perhaps "bait and switch." You know -- when you deliberately misrepresent someone else's position just so you can argue against it. I imagine the discussion between a sane person (call him "CC") and a totally useless hack (call him, say, "ST") thusly:

CC: "It's against the law to have such partisan propaganda on a Government of Canada web page."

ST: "Oh, so you don't think the government should explain to people how that money's being spent?"

CC: "Um, no, that's not what I said. I think it's a terrific idea to get that information out there. I just don't think it should be wrapped in such obvious CPoC cheerleading."

ST: "Geez, you leftards are so predictable. First, you complain that the Stephen Harper is too secretive. But when they try to publish exactly what you've been asking for, you still whine about it. You're never happy, are you?"

See how that works? Sort of like commenter "Wilson" over here:

''On the page devoted to so-called real action, the government's web masters have actually managed to fit in a dozen postage-stamp-size shots of Harper.'' says hebert

Yah, and what's the point?
The govt website should have no pics? should have opposition leaders pics?

Yes, Wilson, that's clearly the point we're trying to make.

Was anyone else reminded of this?

P.S. I don't believe I need to address that third point, do I?

I beg to differ.

Blogging Tory "General Brock" for the defense:

Simply because many people don’t believe in the theory of evolution, does not make them necessarily stupid or evil as Rich Dawkins would have you believe.

Actually, General ... yes, it does make them stupid. I'm glad we had this little chat.

P.S. Do check out the comments section there. Unending hilarity. Like watching the apes in "2001" examining the monolith, except without the sudden intellectual revelation at the end.

We are CC, the great and powerful.

Unsurprisingly, when called on his buffoonery by CC HQ and its loyal minions, Blogging Tory "Alberta Ardvark" clutches a handful of pearls and goes full-metal comment moderation and deletion.

We win.

Tal!

That Jeff Beck fella, he can sort of play the guitar but listen to Tal Wilkenfeld on the bass, her solo starting at about 1:15 is melodic and has enough flash to pop the crowd. Her tone is just superb as well. Now maybe its a function of my advancing years but she looks so young. And Beck looks like he's enjoying the hell out of her playing and presence. Poised, talented, young and lovely... there but by the grace of that set of criteria go I.

Well, come on, I mean, like, really!

As a short followup to an earlier post, Captain Democracy Stephen "Law and Order" Taylor addresses the rather obvious law-breaking of the Stephen Harper Party of Canada with their plastering of the phrase "Harper government" all over a publicly-funded, government website, and dismisses the numerous objections with his typical rigour and precision:

Finally, let’s consider what this is all about. The criticism is that Prime Minister is a partisan advertisement for the implementation of government policy. Isn’t this argument absurd?

Continued Taylor, "I mean, come on, like, get real! You must be kidding, like, are you serious, take a Valium and everything, Jesus, LOL ROTFL!! Man, some people!"

Taylor attempted to continue with his painstakingly methodical legal analysis, but the small group of journalists listening to him had already stabbed themselves to death with their ballpoint pens in order to end their misery.

Submitted without comment.

Someone's still after that job as Head Fluffer. We're not done here.

AFTERSNARK: I'm guessing that Captain Democracy Stephen Taylor might want to spend more time getting his story straight. As you can see in his soppy love missive to Stephen Harper, Taylor admits that some photos have gone bye-bye but defends those disappearances as perfectly normal.

On the other hand, we have a contradictory claim here:

"We have not removed any pictures of the PM," a Privy Council Office spokeswoman insisted late Monday.

A spokesman for the prime minister made the same assertion.

So which is it, Steve? Have some pics been removed but that sort of thing happens in the normal course of webby maintenance? Or should we go with the PCO's position that nothing's been taken down? Because, really, Steve, you can't have it both ways. You do understand that, right?

A suggestion, Steve: You might want to take a few minutes and figure out which talking point you're going with. Otherwise, you'll just end up looking like a buffoon.

And, no, we're still not done here.

BONUS TRACK: Impolitical draws attention to the very same howling inconsistency:

Fun, fun, fun with the PMO who ridiculously maintained the position that no changes had been made to the actionplan.gc.ca website but who have now gone silent in the face of evidence to the contrary having been presented to them:

Yeah, it's awkward when you can't figure out which lie to go with. And note how Impolitical yanks down Stephen Taylor's panties and gives him the appropriate public spanking as well for being such a useless hack.

As Impolitical says: fun, fun, fun.

DUMBASSITUDE REDUX: One of Taylor's loyal BT acolytes takes logic outside and beats it senseless with an axe handle:

Dear Canadian Press: Since your story about pictures of the PM being removed from a government website has proven to be totally false; ...

The hilarity therein is based on the fact that Ardvark is linking to Taylor, whose position is that pictures were removed, so why Ardsy is using Taylor for supporting evidence is a total puzzler. I'm guessing illiteracy has something to do with it.

Google rawks!

Heh.



Indeed.

It sounded so promising at the time.

"Stop sulking, Arnie. When I told you we were getting together with a bunch of other folks for some serious teabagging, you should have known what I meant."

And if you don't like their principles, well, they've got others.

OK, this is just downright funny:

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-VA) appeared yesterday at a health care reform discussion hosted by the Richmond Times-Dispatch. As the newspaper reported, constituents "listened without booing" and "left in an orderly fashion -- without shouting, fighting or the escort of law enforcement." What a refreshing change of pace.

No, no, not the part that shows how folks can attend a Republican town hall without becoming violent. The next part:

As Think Progress pointed out, there was only one glitch: Cantor told a woman whose uninsured relative needs a tumor operation that she ought to look into "an existing government program" or seek charity to pay for the operation. Way to stick to conservative principles.

The lack of self-awareness is truly mind-numbing, isn't it?

Pearls! We need pearls!

Shorter whiny, Canadian crybabies: "Well, if Dr. Dawg can sue someone for libel, we sure can sue for all those nasty names we've been called and injuries we've received."

Yeah, good luck with that. I'm guessing that's going to end up looking something like this:



Yeah, pretty much like that.

Progress! We're making progress!

Deep thought: After eight years of being bogged down over there, let's try something different. And if, eight years down the road, that didn't do what we wanted, well, I'm sure we'll come up with something else.

P.S. Is anyone else amused by Paul E. Marek -- a man who despises Barack Obama with every fibre of his being -- praising the results of the U.S. surge? Some serious cognitive dissonance there, wouldn't you say?

Run away! Run away!

Brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.

AH, THE HILARITY: Following this link, we find this journalistic gem:

Late Sunday night, a PCO spokeswoman had defended the dozens of Harper photos on the action plan website, writing by email that, "The Prime Minister is the chief spokesperson in the Government of Canada for the (action plan)."

Monday evening, the same PCO spokeswoman called The Canadian Press with a single talking point that can in no way be reconciled with the altered appearance of the site:

"We have not removed any pictures of the PM," said Myriam Massabki.

"Can in no way be reconciled?" I guess that's the closest you can get to calling someone a bald-faced liar in print these days.

Free speech!

Blogging Tory and Free Speech Warrior Paul E. Marek wants you to know what you can do with your worthless, treasonous, cowardly opinion.

This has been another Blogging Tory Free Speech Warrior moment.

Iz our children stoopid?

Oh, man. Try to read that without thinking of the Blogging Tories.

Interesting things happening in Adrian's Fruit-of-the-Looms, I think.

Lots of really stupid commenters over at Adrian's, most of them yukking it up while unaware that Adrian has apparently been in frantic deletion mode.

Just making an observation.

LuLu here: Just because it can't be stressed nearly enough, this is Adrian "Raphael Alexander" MacNair's original comment. Oopsie.

OMFG.

Orly, Orly, Orly ...

OH, DEAR GOD, make it stop!

The stupid is almost indescribable.

Behold, the retarditude:



Ignore the delightfully convenient lack of falsifiability, in which Maria "Dodo" Nunes suggests that birther lawyer Orly Taitz is such a whackjob, maybe -- just maybe -- she's an Obama plant.

The funnier part is where gibbering airhead Camille Paglia is described as "a darling of the Leftist media." Sorry, Maria, but I'm with Molly Ivins on this.

I'm waiting for the day when someone on the Blogging Tory roll accuses Maria of being a CC HQ plant because, really, no one could be that moronic, and we're just doing it to make them all look like cementheads.

Yeah, he went there.

Honest to God, I have no idea what to do with this:



That would be Blogging Tory Paul Marek of "Celestial Junk," finally losing what little grip on reality he had left.

Seriously, what can you say?

Your tax dollars at work being flushed down the toilet.

Fiscal conservatism in action:

Tories spend 5 times more on economy ads than H1N1 ads

OTTAWA -- The Conservative government is spending more than five times as many taxpayer dollars on promoting its economic plan as it is on raising public awareness about the flu pandemic.

Huh. They could have saved all that money and just sent out bodybags for the economy. We would have understood. But here's the bestest part:

All the ads direct viewers to a Tory-blue government web site that includes more than 40 different photos of Prime Minister Stephen Harper and refers repeatedly to "the Harper government" -- apparently in direct contravention of Treasury Board communications policy.

Yes, yes, we get it already -- deranged, self-obsessed, narcissistic sociopath. Seriously, we get it.

P.S. Rules and regulations? Those are for other people. You know ... Liberals.

Hello kitty.

So ... how's that "progress" coming in Afghanistan?

I have bad memories of another "progress"-related clusterfuck:



Mercifully, we Canadians are way too freaking smart to fall into that kind of trap.

Oh, crap.

Republican family values.

Shorter Michael Schwartz, Chief of Staff for Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Misogyny): Playboy = Gay Porn.

Who knew?

So ... how's that Afghanistan thingy going?

Oh, dear ... not so well. But the best part is Blogging Tory Celestial Junk's "Junker," standing there, arms akimbo, tapping his little foot in annoyance in the comments section:

Endulge [sic] me. How do you envision Afghanistan 10 years from now, if the UN/NATO mission stays vs. if they leave?

This is the mark of the clueless yob who, having been warned repeatedly by his front-seat passenger not to drive while intoxicated, finally veers the car off the road and, ending upside down in a smoking wreck in the ditch, turns to the passenger and says in an aggrieved tone of voice, "So, you really think you can do better? Then you take the wheel."

Sorry, Junker, but you and all your fridge magnet-owning, yellow ribbon-festooned, red t-shirt wearing buddies own that clusterfuck now. And we here in SaneLand have every right to point out what a mess you've made of it with no obligation to give you any advice as to how to extricate yourselves from there.

We told you for years not to put your fingers in the woodchipper. And after you've gone and done it -- with predictable consequences, I might add -- you really don't have the moral high ground to demand to know how to make things right again. We owe you nothing more than a tired explanation that you really shouldn't have done that in the first place.

BONUS TRACK: Following one of Dawg's links, we end up here, where we learn:

Goal: Ability of Kandahar's administration to provide basic services to "key districts" of the province by 2011

Progress: Five of the 50 schools in Canada's "signature" school-building project are complete, and 28 are under construction. Surveys this spring indicated residents are less satisfied with the education available. Rehabilitation of the Dahla Dam, another signature Canadian project, continues.

Wow ... we're building the Afghanis 50 schools! That's so awesome! Maybe if we have some building material left over, we could build one more.

It's just a thought.

Sure, let's talk about "supporting the troops."

Dear ignorant, red t-shirt wearing wankers: The day you can match our credits is the day you can presume to lecture us on the subject. Until then, piss off.

The retarded mullet strikes again.

Normally, I prefer to keep my name out of my own blog posts, but this is a special occasion as we find pathological liar Patrick Ross deep in the throes of "CC Derangement Syndrome" in a recent post of his:



Patrick goes on about what a terrible, horrible, troop-hating sleazebag I am at some length, carefully concealing from his readership that the post he refers to -- this one -- was in fact written not by me but by my co-blogger "M@", someone with serious chops when it comes to pontificating on matters military, and someone whose opinion carries more than a little heft in such areas.

I'm guessing subtle distinctions like that don't much interest Patrick. They never have.

Don't quit your day job.

From the mullet-coiffed yahoo who once assured that "there isn't a deficit, and there won't be," we have more evidence that political punditry is a career to be avoided:



"It's possible that, given the right circumstances, something unusual and surprising could happen here. Then again, maybe not. Only time will tell. Back to you in the studio, Fred."

Awwwwwwkward.

Our Afghani MP in waiting.

Comedy writers to high alert!

Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please. I could have comedic inspiration for months.

LuLu here: Let me see if I have this straight -- Big Daddy is rumoured to be thinking of naming Cheryl "Abortion = Terrorist Beheadings" Gallant as Minister of State for the Status of Women. Well, that is just 9 kinds of awesome.

Why does Stephen Harper hate women? And yes, that is a rhetorical question.


Lindsay here: I don't have anything to add but I just wanted to help clutter CC's post. M@ c'mon in the water's... um, imaginary?


CC here again: And in conclusion, I hate you all.

LuLu again: I win!


Lindsay here again: last word... last word... last word... last

WTF?

Behold. I'm guessing "Right On" got his education from the same place that Stephen Harper got his Master's degree in economics.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

Cartoon kitteh, darlings?

Orly, Orly, Orly ...

Oh, my. And to think there are people who actually take that dingbat seriously. You know, like this.

Dear stupid Blogging Tories:

If you can stop wanking off regarding the whole ACORN brouhaha down south for a minute or so, you might be interested in this.

Or not. Given that it's not what you want to hear, I'm guessing it's automatically wrong. That's sort of the way it works on your planet, isn't it?

BY THE WAY, STUPID BLOGGING TORIES: The police report that was filed by ACORN:



Unless the cops are in on this as well, of course. That's where your minds are going right now, isn't it?

Did you know the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

Squeeeeeeeeeee! Oh, wait, never mind. Say, Doc, did you hear that Barack Obama wasn't actually born in the United States? I heard Kenya. I'd get right on that if I were you.

On supporting the troops

What communist Islam-loving leftopian anarchists are not supporting the troops today?

That would be... the troops.

Aftersnark: Let's be clear -- I'm not trying to use a dead soldier's (reported) words to bolster the case against Afghanistan; the issue will not be decided based on celebrity gotcha quotes and individual opinions.

But for years I've been told that if I didn't support the mission in Afghanistan -- if I even questioned that mission -- I didn't support the troops. I think we can finally shitcan that line of reasoning now, can't we?

CC here, with a postscript for readers popping over here via Patrick Ross' "Nexus of Assholery" blog: I figure it's worth pointing out that Mr. Ross has, once again, produced a howler of a dishonest piece criticising me for this post since, as you can see below, I am not even the author. Mr. Ross is well aware of this, and yet has produced not a hint or correction, retraction or apology anywhere in the body of his original post. You have to read his comments section to notice that he finally admits this, but there is no trace of his admission of dishonesty anywhere in that post itself.

Such is the perpetual dishonesty of Mr. Ross. But I'm sure you'd already noticed that.

Wolverines!

Go. Read. Then pop in and say "Hi" to Eric. Don't try to educate him, though -- we're pretty sure that won't go anywhere.

You keep using that phrase "free speech" ...

Heh:



If the outright moderation doesn't kill you, the selective siteowner editing will. Free speech warriors, indeed.

Ah, the irony.

As someone who absolutely deee-lighted in my public exposure sometime back because I'm just a mean, mean person, Suzie All-Caps probably doesn't appreciate the hypocrisy of her own words here:

... sometimes, being nicey-nicey is just being a useful idiot.

Quite right, Suzie. It's nice to see you finally coming around on that score.

Twit.

BONUS TRACK: Via BCL, we catch wind of the CCCB thinking they're going to be able to cram 10 pounds of raving stupid into a 5-pound bag:

The Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops has scheduled a closed-door session on independent blogs and web sites claiming to be Catholic at its October plenary.

Trying to put a lid back on all that crazy? Good luck with that.

Kittehz!

Some long-time American cycling buds ran across this motley collection, abandoned by the side of the road during a ride in North Carolina. Most of them have good homes by now. Enjoy.

















P.S. A couple are still available, if you're in the vicinity of Durham/Chapel Hill.