Dear Michaelle: Just say no.

I realize full well that it's way too short notice for this to make a difference but, Jesus, I really wish G-G Michaelle Jean would be absolutely inundated with outrage, demanding that she tell Stephen Harper to go sit on it and rotate.

It's obvious that Stephen the Douche is going to ask Jean to dissolve parliament and take us into another election, just as it's obvious that she should tell him to fuck right off. And, seriously, that kind of response from Jean (even though it massively flies in the face of historical precedent) would be ridiculously easy to defend.

Start with, of course, the Harper government-passed legislation that gave us what was advertised at the time as "fixed" election dates. And, no, I don't want to painstakingly parse the freakin' bill. Let's just notice how that legislation was presented at the time:

The Senate has passed a bill that will require federal elections to be held every four years...

After the bill is proclaimed into law, opposition parties will still have the power to force an election earlier than the fixed date if a minority government is defeated in a confidence vote.

Once the bill becomes law, Prime Minister Stephen Harper will not be able to call an election on his own...

"Fixed election dates will improve the fairness of Canada's electoral system by eliminating the ability of governing parties to manipulate the timing of elections for partisan advantage," [Rob Nicholson] said in a news release on May 30, 2006.

Under current rules, the prime minister has the power to select a date for a general election and to advise the governor general to dissolve Parliament.

According to the Harper government, this power allows the governing party to set the time of the election to its own advantage.

"Establishing fixed election dates fulfils one of this government's key campaign commitments. It is an important step in improving and modernizing Canada's democratic institutions and practices," Nicholson said in the release.

Now, what part of the above seems unclear or ambiguous to you? Seriously, where in any of that do you see any suggestion that that law is not to apply to Stephen the Hutt? That law was presented as delivering fixed election dates, and that's the spirit to which Harper should be held. But wait -- we're not done here.

The next argument that Harper could make is that he has lost the "confidence" of Parliament. That is complete crap -- he has yet to lose a single confidence vote, and Jean should take the time to explain that to him in short words so that even he can understand that.

And, finally, there is this monumental admission:

"My expectation is that we will have another minority," Harper said Wednesday in Tuktoyaktuk, N.W.T., where he's on a three-day, campaign-like swing through the Arctic.

So Yo, Harper! is going to go, full of bluster and swagger, to the Governor-General, asking for an election -- an election which 1) flies in the face of his own "fixed" election date legislation, 2) having never lost a single confidence vote, and 3) openly admitting that he expects it to change nothing. If there was an easier case for telling Harper to blow it out his ass, I can't imagine what that would be. Which suggests that Jean consider two options: either a) tell that whiny, little shit Harper to suck it up and get back to work, or b) hand over government to the opposition, since Harper is admitting nothing less than that he is incapable of running the country.

I have, of course, little optimism that this is going to happen. But it's safe to say that, given that Jean technically has the discretion to make a choice here, if she simply bows to Harper, well, she can piss right off, too. This is her opportunity to finally put the brakes on Canada's latest experiment in dictatorial fascism, but if she simply rolls over and gives Harper what he wants, it's safe to say she won't be on my Christmas list any time soon.

P.S. I should also point out that, while Il Douche is currently whining about how he deserves an election because he's in a vulnerable position where he could be brought down by the opposition in a confidence vote, this is the same mouthy, arrogant ratbag who, for months, mocked and taunted the opposition, challenging them to do exactly that. That's not really a position from which you should expect a great deal of sympathy. Not even from a Governor-General.