Paging Franz Kafka ... Franz Kafka to a phone ... somewhere.

If there's a single reason Lawrence Cannon is utterly unqualified to be Foreign Affairs Minister, or to be in charge of anything above the level of cleaning the Slurpee machines on the night shift at a 7-11 in Delisle, Saskatchewan, it's this:

Two weeks ago, Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon said Mohamud must try harder to prove herself: "The individual ... has to let us know whether or not she is a Canadian citizen," he said.

Asked if he would accept a DNA match, Cannon replied last week through a spokesperson: "I cannot answer a hypothetical question."

Go back and read that again. And again. And as many times as it takes to finally realize that Lawrence Cannon is a vile, despicable loon who, if there was any justice in the world, would be rotting in a Mexican jail cell while screaming, "Hey, I'm Lawrence Cannon! Call my buddy Stephen! He'll vouch for me!"

How exactly does one defend demanding that someone prove their Canadian-ness, then follow that up with stating that a positive DNA match won't be sufficient? Appreciate, if you will, the pure Kafka-esqueness of:

"You must prove that you're Canadian!"
"How?"
"I'm not going to tell you."

How does one read that and think, "Sure, that makes sense."? I mean, other than being an intellectually-crippled Blogging Tory, how does one examine Cannon's position and not immediately conclude, "Jesus creeping shit, what an illogical asshat!"

And, finally, how does one not conclude that, if you're a Canadian citizen who is a person of colour and you travel abroad, you're taking your life in your hands because Stephen Harper and his merry band of bigots really don't give a crap about you? Because, at this point, the evidence is kind of overwhelming.

I'LL GIVE YOU ODDS: Despite the obvious idiocy of Cannon's position on the subject, I'm going to make you a bet -- that not a single Blogging Tory will call Cannon out on his hideously contorted and indefensible lack of logic.

Your position on passports or "Canadians of Convenience" or what have you is not relevant here. All that's relevant is to recognize Cannon's bizarre and utterly unwinnable challenge that someone prove that they're Canadian, while not describing clearly and concisely what it would take to pass that test. That, kids, is the very definition of Kafkaesque.

Anyone want a piece of that action?

WHAT AN INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT: How about that?

Nearly three months after Canadian officials in Africa dismissed her as an "imposter" and stopped her from returning to her 12-year-old son in Toronto, Suaad Hagi Mohamud is coming home.

Ottawa is preparing emergency travel documents to bring to Toronto, a spokesperson for Canada Border Services Agency said this morning. No further details, such as when she might be on her way home, were immediately available.

How ... odd. Given that Cannon himself discounted that a DNA match would be considered conclusive proof of identity, one wonders what did close the deal. This shouldn't be the end of this clusterfuck by any stretch of the imagination.

Heads deserve to roll.