Once upon a time (not that long ago) and in response to this blog post of mine, University of Alberta student and Edmonton resident Patrick Ross (Hint, hint ... over here, Google!) figured he'd be devilishly witty and clever by posting another example of bogus equivalence:
The absolute atrociousness of white supremacists aside, you really just don't think these things through, do you?
Au contraire, Patrick Ross ... I believe it's safe to say that I think so far ahead that you have no idea what kind of train is about to run you over. So let me explain.
It's been amusing (but only on occasion) to watch "Nexus of Assholery" blogger Patrick Ross fume and sputter and rant inanely, mostly just making shit up and lying outrageously, when he isn't mangling the English language. But let me explain how Patrick has, at this point, so thoroughly fucked himself in a very long-term, career-wise kind of way. And without any help from me whatsoever.
See, as I understand it, Patrick is currently an undergraduate at the University of Alberta, where he is apparently taking (God help us all) sociology. And, as best I can tell, Patrick is having a ball these days. Hey, I remember my undergrad days -- ah, yes, good times, good times. And Patrick is obviously having fun, too, as my co-blogger PSA documented back here, where we learn that the 26-year-old Patrick is still heavily into debating who would win in a smackdown -- King Kong or Godzilla. Or something like that.
But mostly, Patrick has fun with his blog "Nexus of Assholery," at which he seems to want to give the impression of just what kind of kick-ass, fuck-you, he-man, unapologetic asshole he is. I mean, it's been that way from the very beginning, when Patrick introduced himself to the world:
Yes, that's some seriously deep thinking there, isn't it? And, sadly, not much has changed over the years, as Patrick has managed to make a total ass of himself on a number of occasions like, oh, this one. Yes, that was one for the books, wasn't it? And it was just one of many. But here's the thing that I've been leading up to.
See, I'm sure Patrick gets a real kick out of playing the tough shit, fuck you kind of guy so he can impress the 17-year-old undergrads over there at the U of A, but Patrick clearly hasn't thought all that far ahead. Because, against all odds, I'm guessing Patrick is going to graduate some day. And he's going to go looking for a job. And he'll apply to a company or three, and he'll send in a resume, of course, but ...
Yeah, you know where I'm going with this, don't you?
... but these days, HR personnel don't just take your word for anything anymore. It's not like the old days where they might call your references or ask around. No, these days, HR folks have a whole new weapon in their arsenal, don't they?
And it's called "Google."
And when those HR people get Patsy's resume, and decide to figure out what they can learn online about him, well, that's when the hilarity starts. Yeah ... only partway down the page ... Patrick and his "Nexus of Assholery." I'm pretty sure that's not going to score any major points in the HR office, is it? But I'm guessing it won't end there.
Having stumbled on that little nugget, I can see little Suzie HR's antenna stalks perking up as she starts to narrow her search. Oh, my. And at this point, little Suzie HR is off and running. A MySpace page? Oh, frabjous day, calloo, callay! What have we here? Heh heh ...
And, God help us, it just gets better, doesn't it?
And at this point, I can imagine Suzie HR, leaning out of her office and hollering down the hall, "Hey, you have got to take at look at this retard that just applied for a job here! OHMIGOD!! And he's got a mullet!!" Oh, yes, there will be all kinds of amusement, won't there? But I'm guessing Patrick has never thought this far ahead since, when I mentioned only a couple days ago how I was working up to giving him a savage smackdown, this is what he thought I had in mind:
Patrick, Patrick, Patrick ... you really are precious when you're being that retarded. Why on earth would I stoop to something that underhanded, sleazy and (most important) time-consuming? I have no need to lower myself to that level, for the simple reason that I'm so much smarter than you, there is simply no need.
In fact, Patrick, I don't really need to try to fuck you over for the simple reason that you've managed to do that all by yourself. While you've been getting off being a hypocritical, dishonest douchebag, you've also been leaving this indelible Google trail all over the Interwebz that not even a blind orang-utan could miss anymore. And trust me, HR people are way smarter than blind orang-utans.
And, finally, Patrick, I'm guessing that your first reaction is, no problem ... upon graduation, you'll just erase that blog and myspace page and everything will be cool, right?
First, Patrick, HR people aren't that stupid -- they understand Google caching. But, more importantly, while you can erase your stuff, you can't touch the permanent record you've built up here. At my blog. And I guarantee that Google will find you here, especially if I regularly post "Patrick Ross" updates. I might even put together a Patsy Ross retrospective one of these days. You know -- a collection of your greatest (retarded) hits, as it were. With lots of Patsy-flavoured keywords to get Google's attention.
Which finally brings me to my wrap-up, where I explain that I have no intention of deleting any of Patsy's comments any more. The longer the Google trail, the better. But if something Patsy says here really irks you and you feel the need to respond, do me a favour and make sure you quote him in sufficient context. Because, since Patsy would still have the ability to delete his own comments, I still want a trail of what he wrote, so your quoting him in sufficient detail would be nice, thank you very much.
In closing, Patsy, there's only one of us here who didn't think this through very well. And, trust me, it wasn't me. Enjoy.
P.S. If Patrick doesn't think being a thoroughly public asshole can come back and bite you in the butt, he might want to chat with Kathy Shaidle, who's publicly whining about being unemployed these days, mostly I'm guessing because no one wants to hang out with such a vile, reprehensible bigot.
But I'm just guessing.
P.P.S. By the way, Patsy, I hope you appreciate the most beautiful part of this spanking, and that's that it doesn't involve anything that you haven't put in the public domain.
Track you down by your IP address? Send people to harass you? What on earth for, given that it's so much more satisfying to just hang you by your own words. Ironic, eh? Have fun trying to clean up your Intertoobs droppings, Patsy. It's not as easy as you think.