Only yesterday, I opined thusly:
Should we take bets on what total clusterfuck is going to happen now? Seriously, this is the Stephen Harper government we're talking about here. We just need to figure out how they're going to keep jerking her around. You know it's coming.
And right on schedule:
Ottawa dragging feet on repatriating Canadian
Ottawa is sending mixed messages about how soon it might help Suaad Hagi Mohamud return home from Africa.
On one hand, the Canada Border Services Agency said this morning it is working to issue the Toronto woman travel documents, tacitly admitting that Canadian authorities made a mistake in voiding her passport in Nairobi, Kenya, nearly three months ago.
On the other hand, no government politician has acted to get the woman home, instead leaving the federal court to sort out details.
"In terms of the federal position, I was told nothing," Mohamud's Toronto lawyer Raoul Boulakia said on emerging from a conference call with a federal lawyer and federal court judge just before noon today.
Yes, it's tough being right about absolutely everything absolutely all of the time. But it's a burden I'm willing to bear.
THE AWESOME ENTERTAINMENT VALUE:
On May 21, after a Kenyan airport official suggested that Mohamud's lips and eyeglasses [sic] were different from her four-year-old passport photo, the hapless traveller laid out all her ID at the Canadian high commission.
She displayed her Ontario driver's licence, OHIP card, social insurance card and Canadian citizenship certificate.
She showed her credit card, two bank cards, Shoppers Drug Mart "Optimum" card, Humber River Regional Hospital Card and a recent dry-cleaning receipt from Bright Cleaners on Lawrence Ave., W., near her Toronto address.
She produced a letter from her Toronto employer, ATS Courier, about a recent promotion.
Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon:
"The individual has to be straightforward, has to let us know whether or not she is a Canadian citizen," Cannon told reporters in Ottawa.
"She's saying so, but there is no tangible proof to the effect."
The Conservative Party of Canada: An equal-opportunity employer. Because the mentally retarded deserve to be cabinet ministers, too.
WHAT ALISON SAID: Indeed:
I've got a test you can try, Mr. Cannon. It just requires a webcam.
"Hey, 12 year old kid in Toronto, is this your mom?"
"Hey, ATS, is this the woman who currently works at your company as a supervisor ?"
Apparently, webcams are only for white people.