Brace yourself, kids -- The Politic's Matthew is embarking on his most ambitious project yet: The Gospel according to Matthew. Oh, this promises to be the most fun you can have without battery-powered appliances. My favourite part:
Christianity is also not a Choose Your Adventure guide where you can take the massively popular ideas like all men being created equal, caring for the poor, sick, and jailed, or turning the other cheek but leave out the more out-of-fashion ideas on divorce, devotion to God or sanctity of life because it personally clashes with what you want to believe in.
Abso-fucking-lutely, Matt, and I can't wait to see your slavish and unthinking devotion to every single Scriptural admonition, with no exceptions. I'm thinking we can start with that one about not wearing mixed fibres, and take it from there.
This might require alcohol.
JUST SO YOU KNOW, it would appear that this is the level of intellectual discourse you should be bracing for.
I recommend tequila shots.