According to my crack, secret, elite, secret and crack source from the environs of Lloydminster, Saskatchewan, it seems that that town's renowned village idiot, undischarged bankrupt Patrick "Kid Cash Thunderbolt Nexus of Assholery Quintuple Threat High Noon Bad Company MMA Cosplay Street Fighting Man" Ross has returned from the wilds of Clairmont, Alberta to take up residence in his mom's basement once again. According to my source (who shall remain nameless but whose identity would undoubtedly come as a stroke-inducing shock to Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen), Patrick gallumphed back into town back on February 7, and has remained in town ever since, which raises a number of interesting possibilities.
First, it suggests that perhaps, just perhaps, the aforementioned rumour was true, in that Patrick was fired from his Alberta gig for insisting on being paid under the table, the sole purpose of that being to protect his income from collection proceedings initiated by your humble scribe. To this day, there is no evidence of that, but it does make one wonder why Patrick is no longer employed.
Further, Patrick once again taking up residence in his mom's basement suggests there may not be much in the way of assets for sheriffs to seize for the foreseeable future, in that Lord Twatrick is clearly no longer employed in the wilds of Alberta, and the consensus around Lloyd is that, no matter how desperate an employer might be, no one in town would touch Patrick with Sheila Gunn Reid's dick. However, even if there is little to pilfer from Patrick's bank account going forward, all that means is that his debt to me:
will continue to increase at five per cent per year and, since I am a patient man, I will simply hang around until the issue of inheritance comes up, then move in and take everything that would have gone to Patrick (including, I'm guessing, the Lloydminster property). And depending on how long that takes and the relentlessly accruing interest, even that may not be enough to cancel out his debt, but I guess we'll see when it happens.
Finally (and most amusingly), my crack, secret and elite source assures me that Patrick is currently doing the rounds around town, bragging about the aforementioned Netflix documentary wherein the original claim was that Netflix Canada was bankrolling a special on the life of one Patrick Ross and his decade-long legal spat with me, a claim which fell apart almost immediately when exposed to the light of day, but it is apparently not stopping Patrick from bragging to his drinking buds in the Lloyd that it is, in fact, happening, and that both Peter Skinner and I are "cowards" for not wanting anything to do with it.
Oh, and the best part? My source assured me that Patrick -- having bragged for months about the joy of physically-challenging outdoor manual labour -- returned to town several stone overweight with his gut spilling over his WWE replica championship belt, I'm guessing from a regular diet of $21 specialty burgers and extra-spicy Doritos slathered in ranch dressing.
In any event, now that Patrick has slithered back into Lloydminster, this will at least make it easier for sheriffs, Canada's Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy, and various process servers to find him, and I will make sure all of those parties know where he is. After all, given that he loves attention, I would hate to deprive him of same.
P.S. We're not quite done here.
P.P.S. I have been assured that, if Patrick (by some miracle) finds further employment, I will be notified of the details in short order, whereupon there will be garnishment. But feel free to play along and keep me posted on Patrick's travels.