A rather weird rumour coming from one of my anonymous tipster sources in the vicinity of Lloydminster, SK about the current plans of one Patrick "Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen" to deal with his relentlessly increasing (now over $105,000) debt to me and, while I have no hard evidence to substantiate this rumour, frankly, it would not surprise me in the least.
Reportedly, as Patrick has been back in the Lloyd and bunking in his old room at Casa Twatrick, he's been making the rounds and (among other things) bragging about how the plan for a Netflix Canada documentary on his scintillating life and times is still on. But it doesn't end there.
From what I've been told, Patrick has also been gloating about his devilishly clever new strategy to get out from under his debt to me, and you need to read this twice to understand its potential brilliance. Apparently (and, again, I can only report what I hear third-hand), Patrick's plan to deprive me of any of his assets is to ... wait for it, wait for it ... remain unemployed and penniless for the foreseeable future.
That's it; that's the plan. In order to prevent me from taking any more of his assets, Patrick will simply ... never have any assets to take.
Now, before you give your head a smack and wonder if you read that correctly, that is in fact a viable strategy, as a number of people with abundant legal experience have confirmed that there is no way to seize assets from someone who has no assets. And that makes perfect sense to me, and if that's Patrick's plan, I will openly admit that, yup, that will certainly put a kink in my collection enforcement. But it also once again suggests that Patrick really has no ability to take the long view.
Sure, he can divest himself of his current possessions, and blow what little is left of his savings, and not get a job but rather just lie on the couch in his mother's basement watching WWE and eating Doritos straight out of the bag, and that will certainly teach me a lesson, you betcha. But this does not strike me as a sustainable life goal.
Perhaps Patrick thinks defamation judgments have a statute of limitations, or if he's stubborn enough to stick this out, the legal system will tire of him, or whatever. I'm pretty sure none of that is true and, in the meantime, yes, he can deprive me of any payments for year after year, but all that time, what he owes me will be increasing at 5 per cent per year and, really, someday he will have to deal with this, because if he thinks he can just wait for his remaining parent to pass on and quietly inherit his current residence, oh, man, I have such bad news for him.
So, again, this is just a rumour but, given Patrick's history and his total inability to think about the long-term consequences of his truly, truly bad decisions, would it surprise anyone if this is his plan? Honestly, at this point, one can only shrug and wonder if there is any way for Patrick to fuck up his life any further.
One suspects not.