Wednesday, February 09, 2022

Chronicles of Twatrick: Looking for the meatspace co-ordinates of Patrick Ross.

Even as the Saskatchewan sheriffs continue to empty the bank account(s?) of Lloydminster's most embarrassing native son, Patrick "Kid Cash Thunderbolt Nexus High Noon Bad Company Quintuple Threat MMA Cosplay Street Fighting Man" Ross, a number of increasingly-annoyed people and entities would really love to touch base with Patrick, and to know where he hangs out these days. From your humble scribe, to the Saskatchewan constabulary, to Canada's Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy (OSB), there is a lengthening line looking to have a chat with undischarged bankrupt Lord Baron Twatrick von Loadenhosen, so it is pursuant to that that I'm asking all and sundry to take a look around and, if they happen to see Patrick wolfing down a $21 burger while nervously checking if there's anything left on his debit card to pay for it to drop me a short note.

Rumour has it that Patrick is so impoverished these days that he has been reduced to living in his vehicle during the week, and in an isolated cabin in the woods on weekends, but that rumour is as yet unsubstantiated, although it is moderately amusing to imagine Patrick trapping and skinning squirrels for his dinner, then fashioning a mullet from the pelt ... but I digress. Onward.

Even though I technically don't need that information to keep cleaning out Patrick's bank account, any extra information as to Patrick's whereabouts is always useful on the off-chance that Patrick does something so spectacularly egregious that an arrest warrant is called for, whereupon I would love to be able to point the Saskatchewan sheriffs in the direction of Patrick's vehicle, or cabin, or employer, or trap line.

No, there's no bounty but, come on ... you'd help out just for the entertainment value, wouldn't you? Yes, you would ... yes, you would.


RossOwesDay said...

It sounds like you've drained Twatrick's bank account of about $8,000 so far. That's a nice start. But this make us wonder, what happened to the "pre-inheritance" Ken Ross allegedly gave his kids?

Also, since the Saskatchewan sheriffs have seized Twatsy's bank account, shouldn't that reveal information on his employer?

CC said...

ROD: The sheriffs have limits on what they can do. Certainly, they can seize funds from the credit union account of Patrick's that I provided them, but they can't arbitrarily demand information on any other accounts Patrick might have created to hide assets like a massive pre-inheritance.

Who *does* have the authority to demand that sort of information from Patrick is the Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy, who have the authority to call Patrick in and question him *under oath*, which is exactly why Patrick is so frantically refusing to respond to the OSB's increasingly aggressive e-mails and phone calls and letters. Because he knows how that would end.

In the end, sure, Patrick can keep dodging and weaving month after month, but this will not go on forever, and when the OSB catches up with him (and they will), this will end very badly for Patrick. In the meantime, I will simply keep emptying his credit union account on a regular basis, and eating well. Because that's the way I roll.

RossOwesDay said...

Sounds like a good plan!

It will be interesting to see if Twatrick's bank account will replenish next month, now that you've seized and emptied it. Either Twatsy pays you $2.5k monthly for like 4 years (we have no clue how he'd subsist long-term), or he tries moving funds and paychecks to a new bank account, which would likely get him in deeper trouble with the OSB, while only slightly delaying the inevitable financial smackdown.

Patrick Ross is so, so, so, so screwed.