Wednesday, June 11, 2008
GROUP PROJECT! FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!
This project has been perking away mentally here at CC HQ for a while now, so I think it's time to get it started. And the great thing about it is -- you can all play along! Group hug, everyone! OK, maybe that was a bit much, but here's how it works.
Given that Conservative Party of Canada mouthpiece and reliable stenographer Stephen Taylor likes to promote his pet project "The Blogging Tories" as Canada's answer to thoughtful, intellectual right-wing punditry, I thought it would be entertaining to start a collection of what I've chosen to call "The Blogging Tories Greatest Hits." And what exactly would constitute a "greatest hit," you ask? I'm so glad you asked.
The plan is to register a new blog (oh, look, everybody!) at which would reside -- how to put this diplomatically? -- a carefully-chosen selection of the most asinine, the most appalling, the most breathtakingly, jaw-droppingly inane, racist, homophobic, putrid posts that have ever appeared under the BT banner.
Now, let's be clear about something -- I'm not talking about simply stupid, dopey, illogical or boneheadedly misinformed prose. Oh, no -- what we want is a collection of BT-approved contributions for which the only possible reader reaction is stunned amazement, followed by sheer horror and a plaintive wail of, "Holy fuck! Is this whackjob serious?!?! Jesus, what an asshole!!!"
The rationale here should be obvious: to reduce the Blogging Tories to an utter laughing stock, if not an object of skin-crawling horror among people who will finally see the evil that lies under that thin veneer of innocent stupidity. Not surprisingly, there is an embarrassment of riches to choose from, so where would we start? Let me demonstrate with a few well-chosen examples.
First, we can pick on BT Brian Lemon, and his heartfelt tribute to renowned Canadian First Nations artist Norval Morrisseau. Yes, that was a classic, wasn't it? Definitely something that solidified Brian's reputation in the pantheon of lesser gods, as it were. It's a keeper, baby.
Moving on, we can stop in at The Politic, where TP regular Aaron Unruh once thought female genital mutilation was a real hoot. But this is where things get a little trickier.
See, if you read Aaron's post as it is now, you'd never know that what was truly offensive about it originally was that he had posted it under the category of "Amusing." So, in cases like that, a reference to a BT post might have to be accompanied by a followup explanatory link, along the lines of, say, this. Sure, it would be nice if a post could stand by itself, but sometimes you need to complete the picture for the reader to truly appreciate the utter douchebaggery.
Moving on, sometimes it will be necessary to reference a number of posts, so readers can understand that some douchebaggery needs time to develop. I'm thinking that a proper timeline of the aforementioned Brian Lemon's rancid dishonesty and weaselitude regarding reporter Michael Ware would be just the thing. (Read in chronological order for the full effect, of course.)
And, what the hell, since we nad-slapped The Politic's Aaron Unruh, we can just as enjoyably do the same to his ignorant fuckwit blogging colleague Matthew, who managed to embarrass his entire species here. And, astonishingly, having learned nothing from that crushing beatdown, proceeded to humiliate himself yet again, in an incident I explained in loving detail here.
For other possibilities, well, there's always Krime Kracker Kid and self-proclaimed investigative journalist Steve Janke and his obsession with Cindy Sheehan's privates and dead Orientals, and "Neo Conservative," with his creepy obsession with dead minorities. Yes, the list does go on, doesn't it?
And, of course, there is an almost infinite set of choices from Canada's Bestest Blogger, the incomparable Kate McMillan. There is Kate's attempt at concentration camp humour related to making fun of dead Jews. And her suggestion that drug addicts just go kill themselves. But, in honour of today's government apology for decades of residential schools, I'm thinking you can't beat this. Luckily, it's not like we need to pick just one. That's the great thing about blogs -- they're infinitely expandable.
There will be, of course, a fairly obvious restriction, in that every collected post must be by a member of the BTs. So, as much as you'd like to collect the drooling rantings of the racist Kathy Shaidle, she doesn't qualify. (However, her posts at SDA are another matter -- we'll have to give that some thought.)
In any event, there's no rush on this, and we can toss around ideas for the best way to lay this out, but feel free to start investigating and starting your own collection. And when I need your contributions, I'll let you know.
Ooooooh, this is going to be such fun. All that festering bigotry, racism and dishonesty collected in one place. I'm thinking we might need warning labels.