When really, really stupid Blogging Tories blog: Part 5,418,997.

The panty-tugging shrieking begins as Blogging Tory and intellectually deficient prissy scold JoJo starts whining from the get-go:

MSM torquing the headlines again

When I first read the headline “Expert Contradicts Cadman Tape Claims”, I thought oh boy, there goes the lawsuit against the Liberals.

However after closer examination I saw that Bruce Koenig merely said he needs the “original recording, his tape recorder and an external microphone if Mr. Zytaruk used one” to be able to “conduct a conclusive authenticity examination in a forensic audio laboratory.” ...

So, what we have here is another case of MSM using misleading headlines to either sell papers or influence headline-only readers, or both.

Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine. And now, let's examine this story as if we weren't terminally retarded and we did understand the English language. What exactly are the claims being made by the original two experts (all subsequent emphasis added)?

The initial two experts, one from the United States and the other from Stratford, Ont., categorically ruled that an audiotape recording of an interview Mr. Zytaruk conducted with Mr. Harper in September, 2005, had been altered...

One of the initial two experts, the head of Owl Investigations Inc. in Colonia, N.J., said he concluded "with scientific certainty that this tape has been edited and doctored to misrepresent the event as it actually occurred."

So ... do we all understand what the original claims are? Why, yes ... yes, we do -- that the tape was absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt altered. Do we all see that? Please tell me you see that, as that's the claim that's being made.

In that case, what would constitute a contradiction or disagreement with that claim? Why, nothing but that you think there's still room for doubt. That's all. Nothing more. When someone claims absolute certainty about something, all it takes to disagree is to suggest that the question is still open and has not yet been resolved. Which is, heavens to Betsy, all that Former FBI special agent Bruce Koenig is saying:

Former FBI special agent Bruce Koenig - who lists expert evidence about former U.S. president Richard Nixon's Watergate tapes and analysis of gun shots in the assassination of John F. Kennedy among his accomplishments - said more evidence is needed to judge the veracity and integrity of the disputed tape recording.

Here ... for the terminally stupid among you (like JoJo), let me condense this into two short lines:

"There is absolutely no question that the tape has been altered."

"I disagree -- I don't think it's been settled conclusively one way or the other and it needs more examination."

See how that works? What a perfectly reasonable position. And one totally lost on stupid, whiny fucks like JoJo.

God, but Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor must be so proud.

I'M JUST SAYIN': Perhaps I've missed it but, rather than argue incessantly about the integrity of the tape, wouldn't it be simpler if Captain Charisma Stephen Harper simply issued a statement describing how the contents of the tape don't accurately reflect what he said? I mean, how hard could this be? Just publish the alleged transcript of the tape, and have Harper point at the parts that he objects to and say, "I never said that."

Or is this just too simple a solution?