And by "rising star," I mean "unspeakable retard."

Now that the political career of anger management issue queen Helena Guergis is dropping like a lead turd, it is apparently necessary to cast around and find another female Con MP with the requisite lack of intellect, ethics, awareness and pretty much anything else, and announce to all and sundry that she is the NEXT BIG THING. And so, having pretty much picked the barrel clean, the Stephen Harper Party of Canada holds its nose, lifts up the barrel and presents us with ... Shelly Glover.

That would be this Shelly Glover:



That would be this Shelly Glover. And given that some people are already whispering (in all seriousness, apparently) that she has the aura and drawing power of Sarah Palin about her, it's worth perusing some of Glover's prose, as reproduced at Steve V's place:

I’ll tell you straightforward, Canadians are seeing an increase in crime.

"I'll tell you straightforward?" What the fuck kind of illiteracy and brutal assault on the English language is that? One certainly sees the similarity with the equally illiterate Palin in that little exchange.

But it's Glover's ugly habit of pulling numbers and facts out of thin air that will undoubtedly endear her to Canada's largest special ed class. One can hardly wait until Glover rises in Parliament to gift us with gems something like, oh, "Regarding the question raised by the Honourable Member, let me respond with some figures I just yanked out of my ass."

Oh, yes, there is going to be some serious entertainment value if this woman is handed the keys to a Cabinet position of any kind. The only debate is whether she would flame out as spectacularly as Helena Guergis or Lisa Raitt. Tough acts to follow, to be sure, but don't sell Glover short. That kind of burning stupid doesn't come along often, and we will all be richer for the experience. In a comedic sort of way.