Look at Norway. It began allowing same-sex marriage in the 1990s. In just the last decade, its heterosexual-marriage rates have nose-dived and its out-of-wedlock birthrate skyrocketed to 80 percent for firstborn children.
Because, as we all know, gay marriage has a devastating and pernicious effect on out-of-wedlock birthrate.
You know, there's normal stupid, and then there's jaw-droppingly stupid. You know ... Sandy Crux-level stupid; Patsy Ross-level stupid; "Neo Conservative"-level stupid.
It would be funny if it weren't so creepy.