No, Bob, you're giving him too much credit.

Bob Rae being unnecessarily generous:

OTTAWA - The Conservative government is leaving an investigation into the security failings of Maxime Bernier in the hands of potentially culpable officials at Foreign Affairs, Liberals charged Friday.

Questions about Bernier's abrupt resignation continued for a fourth straight day in the Commons, with the Tories maintaining that the only review of Bernier's misplaced NATO documents will be led by his former bureaucrats.

"In conducting their review, the Department of Foreign Affairs can of course draw on the other resources of government that they need, whatever agencies necessary, to assist them," Conservative House leader Peter Van Loan said for the third day in a row.

Bob Rae, the Liberal foreign affairs critic, said such a review flies in the face of a "basic principal of natural law."

"Surely the minister understands a very simple distinction between an administrative review carried out by officials who may in fact be implicated in some of these questions, and an independent inquiry," Rae told the Commons.

Um ... Bob? We're talking about a Conservative member of Parliament here; therefore, it's not at all a sure thing that he understands anything. Don't make me have to explain this twice, OK?

lol

more cat pictures

Ah, the douchebaggery of it all.

Shorter Twatrick: "You can't take CC seriously on the subject of anti-Semitism because someone else, at a totally different time, and on a totally different blog with which CC has no connection whatsoever, once wrote a post on the same subject. Therefore, CC is anti-Semitic."

There you go, Patsy ... did I get that about right?

Just when you think they can't get any stupider ...

... along comes Blogging Tory Jonathan Strong (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

Hillary Will Lose to Sexism

The party that proclaims itself the champion of civil rights, the Democrats, has become a party riddled with racism, sexism, and preferential treatment.

Quite right, Jonathan -- Barack Obama is only doing as well as he is because the Democrats despise black people. Thanks for pointing that out.

Dumbassitude, Sandy Crux-style.

I have no snark for something this fucking retarded:

Does the Canadian government have any secret document? In a time of peace, order and good government, I doubt it.

Seriously, what comeback can there be?

From the department of "Don't waste any brain cells."

Canadian IDiot Denyse O'Leary asks us to ponder:

Some people have wondered why there is so little activity at ID think tank ISCID these days.

Movin' on, then ...

If you’re looking for sympathy – part infinity + 1.

Shorter Joanne, Patron Saint of Kompassionate Konservativism: And here I thought we’d heard the last of that unspeakably ungrateful whiner Brenda Martin. If I give her money, will she finally shut up and go away?

And now I'm off. My baby boy (yeah ... who's got about 10 inches on me) is in Day 2 of his 3-day Black Belt exam and he needs his momma there to cheer him on. If only I had a baby-T that said "My boy kicks ass" ... then I'd be set. We'll play more later.

um... Zoink!

I think he Can Dance - Watch more free videos

Culture!

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

"Fearless Freep" edition — just for Frank.



P.S. I dast you to step across this line.

Dear Fern: Welcome to Rossholia.

Shed a tear for Birth Pangs' Fern Hill -- the most recent victim of Patsy Ross' campaign of wretched dishonesty. Early on, Fern wonders aloud whether there's any point to rebutting someone so horrifically deluded, so I'd like to help her out here.

Fern, darling:

Let me assure you that Twatrick is, without question, one of the most dishonest bloggers in all of Christendom. He lies. Chronically. Perpetually. Pathologically. And all the while accusing others of dissembling. The hilarity is overwhelming. (And, yes, I'm going somewhere with this, so be patient.)

Perhaps Twatrick's greatest talent is to take normal English words and twist them into some novel and unexpected interpretation to make a point. For example:

[Canadian Cynic] posts the home address of political opponents on his blog, which is undeniably scummy.

As hard as it might be to believe, there are two (count 'em, two) misrepresentations in that one sentence. Let me elucidate.

First, Twatrick is obviously referring to my former feud with failed Calgary aldermanic candidate and NAMBLA obsessive Dick Evans. And, yes, it is true that I have posted Dick's home address and other contact info on my blog more than once. But you search in vain in that passage to learn that all of that information was nothing more than what NAMBLA Dick had already published on his own campaign website. In short, I supplied absolutely no information that wasn't already in the public domain by Dick's own hand, but that's not something Twatrick wants you to know, is it? But, astonishingly, the dishonesty doesn't end there.

Twatsy goes on to accuse me of (apparently) outing "political opponents". Um ... huh? Political opponents? Given that I'm technically anonymous and am not running for office of any kind, how exactly does Dick Evans magically become a "political opponent," I wondered. When challenged on this, Twatrick philosophized that 1) I disagree with Dick, therefore, he is an "opponent" of mine and, 2) since Dick and I disagree on some topics politically, we are therefore "political opponents." Q.E.D.

This, of course, flies in the face of the normal and common usage of that phrase; that is, individuals who are competing for political office, but it's standard Twatrick -- take regular words, mangle them beyond recognition, and serve up the result as rhetoric. Classic Twatsy. But that doesn't begin to compare with the hysterical hyperbole that is the Twatrick. Check out this baby:

What Cynic and his coterie of vicious hooligans either fail to recognize, or fail to admit, is that the freedom for those who disagree with them to express their views without fear of attack or harassment is part and parcel of a progressive social contract in which people -- each presumably as equal as the next -- are permitted to hold to hold their own opinions, recognize their own interests, organize in order to pursue their interests, and express their opinions in that regard.

Canadian Cynic, with his constant bullying of anyone who dares disagree with him, cannot be allowed to undermine the very foundations of progressive politics.

Quite right. Apparently, one anonymous man with a blog who has never outed a critic, who has a fairly liberal comments policy and who rarely comments on others' blogs represents an unacceptable threat to political progressivism and Canadian democracy in general. Jesus Christ, Twatsy, drama queen much?

But as amusing as all this has been, none of this would distinguish Twatsy from your typical right-wing Canadian whackjob, except for the fact that he really does have a unique talent which separates him from the pack, and that is his ability to simply fabricate entire alternate realities when it suits him.

Back here, Twats was waxing moronic on the Sens "Better Halves" dust-up, and produced this absolute gem of dumbfuckitude:

That aside, Mallick took such a personal interest in the matter in which she called up Ready and allegedly took him on a tour of the First Place website, through several links which don't seem to exist on the site. Birth Pangs' blogger Fern Hill insists that the links were later removed from the site (something which actually is in the realm of possibility, but hard to accept without proof that they existed in the first place).

Stop right there. Go back and read that passage again slowly, to truly appreciate the stunning idiocy of Twatsy's position. He is seriously suggesting that, hey, those links don't exist now so maybe they never existed. Can you appreciate the imbecility of that suggestion?

Those original links were, in fact, a huge part of the original story. Their existence, and their subsequent removal, were covered in detail in a number of places. There was no doubt whatsoever that those links were there at the beginning of this story, and while people of various political stripes expressed their opinions forcefully on this topic, not one of them actually abandoned reality to the point where they suggested that the links never existed.

Except for Twatrick.

Only Twatrick, this long after the incident, is so contemptuous of reality that he is actually proposing that that never happened. Ignore the news coverage. Ignore the blog posts. Ignore the opinion pieces. Those links aren't there now, therefore, hey, who's to say they were ever there? Even the most batshit crazy of Canada's fetus fetishists never proposed something so hilariously stupid and indefensible. Except for Twatrick. And that's because, quite simply, Twatrick has no interest in reality. Or honesty. Or accuracy. In a nutshell, Twatsy makes shit up, and publishes it as if it has value.

Seriously, Fern, that's the problem here -- you can write whatever you want, and you can write it carefully and meticulously, and Twatsy will take it, and mangle it, and add his own version of reality to it, and you'll read it and think, "What the fuck?" Because that's how Twatsy works. I mean, really, this is the guy who tried to dismiss the Montebello controversy by claiming (even to this day) that triangles have eight sides. Because, in Twatsy's reality, maybe they do. When it's convenient. (Perhaps tomorrow they'll have four sides. Or 11 sides. Or whatever allows Twatsy to convolute another argument.)

In short, Fern, you can respond to Patsy Ross if you want, but it's never going to make any difference. He's simply going to continue lying, because it's all he knows.

P.S. In case anyone's interested, Patsy did threaten to track me down and physically assault me, so it's really pretty rich for him to be whining on about civility the way he does. Just an observation for any prospective employers who might want to google Patsy -- he has some serious anger management issues. If I were you, I'd make sure he never figured out where you live.

Trust me on this one.

OOOOOOOH, HOW TIMELY: Twatsy makes shit up again:

But quite frankly, it's impossible to take anything Cynic has to say about anti-Semitism seriously when one considers some of the company he keeps.

Notably, My Blahg proprietor Robert McClelland.

An interesting accusation since:

• I have never met Robert McClelland,


• I rarely correspond with Robert McClelland, and


• Robert McClelland and I do not share membership of any aggregator.

But perhaps I'm being hasty here since, using Twatsy's logic, I can justifiably say that Twats "keeps company" with people who advocate the rape of children. Oh, yeah, this is going to work nicely.

Thanks, Patsy. I would have never dreamed of making that kind of accusation if you hadn't pointed the way. At this point, the possibilities are endless, aren't they?

HEH. Indeed.

The mote in one's eye -- Stephen Harper edition.

Blogging Tory and utter lemonhead Brian Lemon is not happy about broken promises. Too bad, Brian ... now you know how the rest of us feel.

Sucks, doesn't it?

Instant Breakfast Dispenser

I need a new word.

Because tired just isn’t going to cut it. So I think it’s high time you people started pulling your weight around here and amused me for a change. Let’s change things up this week, shall we? As always, in the comments if you please.

1) Most horrifying cheesy musical you’ve ever seen and why.

2) Favourite musical and why.

3) Tell me what you’re reading.

Me first.

1) Behold the unspeakable disco-driven horror that is Xanadu — starring Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck and Gene Kelly.



Where do I even begin to describe the absolute heinous fuckery that is this movie? The plot (if you can call it that) revolves around Olivia Newton-John’s character, a Greek Muse (no ... really), who periodically comes to life and inspire people to greatness. She meets up with Michael Beck’s character, an artist named Sonny Malone, and inspires him to form a partnership with Gene Kelly and build, wait for it, a roller-disco nightclub. It was just fucking, gouge-your-eyeballs-out awful. But Gene Kelly could still move, couldn’t he?

2) I’m not actually a huge fan of the musical genre. I find them to be somewhat stilted and awkward to watch but I do love Funny Girl with Barbara Streisand. It’s just an absolutely lovely film. And Streisand has some serious comedic chops on her to go with the pipes.



3) I think I’ve mentioned this before but I’m a voracious reader — I usually have anywhere from 3 to 6 books on the go at any given time and today is no exception. Let’s see ... The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett, The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore, The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier and Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke, all of which are new to me. I’m also re-reading Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore (who is just brilliant), Bag of Bones by Stephen King and I just finished Mort by Terry Pratchett. I luuuurrrrrvvv books.

Now your turn.

But that's different!

Shorter Canadian wingnuts: "It's disgusting how some people can discriminate against a particular demographic and strip them of their fundamental rights and civil liberties based simply on their social beliefs or behaviour. Now, about those filthy faggots and their same-sex marriage ..."

Being a conservative means perpetually making shit up.

Behold -- the wankitude. Seriously, that kind of butchery of the English language is approaching Sandy Crux levels.

Injustice

The Globe & Mail has an update on the truth, justice and American trial of Omar Khadr. It seems that even in the extra-legal gulag of Guantanamo Bay there are honorable men. Well that just won't do.

The military judge in the Omar Khadr trial in Guantanamo Bay has been relieved of his duties, a move that Mr. Khadr's defence counsel claims is a direct result of the judge siding with the defence on a number of evidence disclosure issues in the controversial military tribunal case.
In a brief e-mail message circulated Thursday afternoon, Military Commissions chief judge, Colonel Ralph Kohlmann, announced that Colonel Peter Brownback, who has served until now as the judge in the Khadr case, is to be replaced by another colonel, Patrick Parrish.

There may come a time when Americans regain their collective national sanity. The dishonour and crimes being heaped on the American character will be a dark burden to overcome. The dual perspectives of time and regime change will reveal the depths to which America's leaders have plunged in exploiting the trauma of 9/11 for their own advantage and sick agendas. America will have to come to terms with the decimation of her reputation overseas. It will be a long road for the trust and respect that George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and the rest of the PNAC neocon maniacs have squandered to be rebuilt.

Civilized nations will not soon forget that in the wake of an attack, the great might of America abandoned ethics, morals and honesty to seek bloody vengeance. America, once the beacon of freedom, is now the head office of franchised torture in black site concentration camps. America has turned her back on the noblest of tradition, doing away with habeas corpus, disappearing people without trial or evidence via extraordinary rendition. America is holding an unknown number of people around the world without charge, without representation and without a shred of what might pass for justice.

To our own lasting shame, Canada's government has done nothing to dissuade our great and dear friends from this self destructive path. In fact we have enabled and permitted and turned a blind eye to this dangerous and destructive course. Our leaders have aided and abetted these ongoing crimes against humanity and against our own citizens. Neither Mr Martin nor Mr Harper have so much as lifted a pencil to protest the illegal imprisonment of Khadr, a Canadian citizen, taken as a child from the battlefield. International law is clear about the treatment of child soldiers and we are in violation of those laws. We are guilty of standing by and permitting an ongoing crime against Omar Khadr to proceed. We have our own failure and shame to deal with.

Mr. Khadr's U.S. military defence lawyer, Lieutenant Commander Bill Kuebler, said the sudden change of judge comes after a recent commission hearing in which Col. Brownback “threatened to suspend proceedings in the case of Omar Khadr if prosecutors continued to withhold key evidence from Omar's lawyers.”

Canada's government has actively participated in withholding documents pertinent to the Khadr defence.

The Supreme Court of Canada has ordered the federal government to hand over thousands of pages of information to terrorism suspect Omar Khadr that it gleaned from interrogation sessions Canadian agents held with him in 2003.
In a 9-0 ruling that has broad implications for cases involving Canadians abroad, the court said Mr. Khadr is entitled to any records of the interrogations, as well as any information that Canadian authorities gave to their U.S. counterparts as a direct consequence.
The court reasoned that Mr. Khadr would have been entitled to the material were his trial set to take place in Canada – and he should have no less because he is in foreign hands.
Before the new material can be handed over to his lawyers, it must first be vetted by a judge to ensure it does not threaten national security.
The court firmly hitched its ruling to a recent U.S. Supreme Court decision that found that detainees at the Guantanamo Bay prison have suffered serious violations of legal and human rights.

With a hypocrisy of unfathomable depth, the Canadian government has stood idly by as the illegal and immoral trial of Omar Khadr proceeds. We like to think of ourselves as the noble sort, the good guys. We hold ourselves out as democratic do-gooders on the world stage and yet when nations like Kuwait and Saudi Arabia protest and win repatriation of their own citizens held in America's illegal prisons, we do nothing. Our government has failed us and failed Omar Khadr. We do not need to like this young man or his family. We do not need to agree with or support his beliefs or ideology but we damn well do need to support and fight for his rights as a Canadian citizen and for his basic human rights.

Whoo hoo, we're back!

Shorter rest of world: "Whatever you do, don't make any promises to them and, for God's sake, don't give those retards any classified documents. Better yet, don't tell them shit -- you'll just end up regretting it."

Stockwell?

UPDATE: My mistake, none of those devices are a Jet-Ski brand personal watercraft. Carry on.

Fuckin' Atrocity

How do you keep this senile half wit from eating all the crayons?



You let the fat lady, um, sing. Oh the humanity. Heroes of conservatism! The only stuff trickling down in this clip is slowly filling a bag strapped to Ronnie's ankle.

Canada! Cluster bombs! We're back and we rock! Whoo hoo!

Let the mindless adulation begin:

Canada backs ban on cluster bombs

I am glad to see Canada signed on to this treaty and that wording was modified so that it does not disrupt NATO peacekeeping missions in places such as Afghanistan. There is no justification for these types of weapons.

And then, sadly, there is that ugly thing called "reality":

Canada Undermines Efforts to Ban Cluster Munitions, May 22, 2008

JODY WILLIAMS

Special to Globe and Mail Update

May 22, 2008 at 11:13 PM EDT

Dublin, Ireland - At the current 12-day conference to negotiate an international treaty banning cluster munitions, diplomats and observers alike are wondering what has happened to Canada’s independence.

The same country that launched the “Ottawa process” resulting in the historic 1997 Mine Ban Treaty now appears to be doing dirty work for the United States to weaken the cluster munitions treaty...

It is not surprising that Washington continues to throw its considerable weight around. What is surprising, however, is that some countries are willing to carry water for the United States, despite its vow never to sign the treaty. Even more surprising is that one of those countries is Canada.

Surprising? No, not really. It's pretty much par for the course: George says "bend over" and Stephen asks "Lube or no lube?"

Any guesses on how soon this utterly bogus achievement will become a Sandy Crux "accomplishment?" I should start a pool.

IT MAKES YOU WONDER just why the Stephen Party of Canada is so keen on defending the use of cluster bombs. Oh ... right.

I'm guessing that makes me anti-Semitic.

Heh.

Indeed.

You won't look so stupid if you actually know things.

Following Red Tory's earlier pointer, we meet "Orville" who, because he has no grip on reality, chooses to manufacture his own:

Can we keep things in perspective and limit the hyperbole and the Liberal manufactured indignation and fear mongering. The papers left behind by Bernier, although considered classified, were not, as only the CBC would call ’sensitive’.

Fact of the matter is that the content of the papers was available to anybody, subversive or otherwise, by a simple request via the access to information of the government.

And then reality steps up and plants one right in Orville's happy sack:

Harper government lacks transparency, information czar charges
Jack Aubry, CanWest News Service
Published: Wednesday, May 30 2007

OTTAWA - The Privy Council Office, which serves Prime Minister Stephen Harper and his cabinet, gets a failing grade for persistently dragging its feet on public requests for access to government information, Canada's new information czar says in a surprisingly tough report.

"Too often, responses to access requests are late, incomplete, or overly censored," Information Commissioner Robert Marleau said in an introduction to his first annual report. "Too often, access is denied to hide wrongdoing, or to protect officials or governments from embarrassment, rather than to serve a legitimate confidentiality requirement."

And, oh yeah:

Tories kill information registry
May 02, 2008 04:18 PM
Dean Beeby
THE CANADIAN PRESS

OTTAWA–The federal Conservatives have quietly killed a giant information registry that was used by lawyers, academics, journalists and ordinary citizens to hold government accountable.

As I said earlier, Orville, if you actually, like, know stuff, you tend to not look quite so imbecilic. It's just an observation.

Pardon my giggles …

But as PSA has already deliciously pointed out, it appears Big Daddy’s iron-fisted, micromanaging, control freak message control system is springing a few leaks. Colour me oh-so-amused ...

The Foreign Affairs Department knew about Maxime Bernier's security breach a full day before Prime Minister Stephen Harper says he learned of the matter that prompted the beleaguered minister's resignation just hours later, CBC News has confirmed.

On Monday evening, Harper announced Bernier was stepping down because he committed a security error when he inadvertently left classified documents at the home of his ex-girlfriend, Julie Couillard, in April.

The Tories have said Harper became aware of the security breach only on Monday and acted immediately and decisively in accepting Bernier's resignation. But the government so far has offered no explanation why it took almost 24 hours for the prime minister to find out about the breach.

CBC news has confirmed that the missing government document was returned to Foreign Affairs on Sunday, and that Couillard had the document with her when she recorded her now infamous interview with the French-language TVA network on Sunday afternoon.

Oh my. Never say that there are things going on in Canada's New Government™ that Big Daddy doesn't have his chubby little mitts allllllllll over. That can't be good ... for him.

And Now, On The World Stage...

Maxime Bernier's Foreign Affairs legacy of ineptitude lives on as Canada plays the fool on the world stage. That's because we're back, baby. And don't let nobody tell you different, Big Daddy Steve, he got back. That's right, he's a player. Or a completely embarrassing rube, so hard to tell with these puffy poltroons and poseurs. Canada (which is back) has the great good fortune to witness our Prime Minister in action (he's a player on the world stage, you know) overseas.

"The prime minister's press secretary, Carolyn Stewart Olsen, came back and told us that after having dinner with Stephen Harper last night Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi had just issued a statement saying Italy would remove the caveat that restricts what their soldiers can do in Afghanistan," said Smith.

"That was big news because the Italian soldiers... are restricted to mainly non-combat operations and Canada's been pressing for sometime to get countries like Italy to remove these caveats so they can help out more."

Golly gee whiz, that's swell news Stevie. That means that our forces might get a bit of a reprieve from the pressures of carrying front line duty. Why that's just a ringing success for your New Government... er, not so much.

After hearing the developments, journalists, including Smith, reported the breaking news.

But then, after the plane departed, Stewart alerted reporters that she had got it wrong.

She said there was a wire story saying that Berlusconi was reconsidering the caveats but he hadn't made any decisions.

Oh. Oh dear. That's a piece of piss then, isn't it? I suppose P.M. Chunks, the boyish wonder will be making his apologies to Mr Berlusconi. After all, making up another nation's foreign policy to suit one's own fancy is a tad presumptuous even for these faith-based twits.

"The prime minister's staff was so anxious to have the story corrected that they allowed us to go up to the front of the plane and use the prime minister's secured satellite phone to call our news desks," said Smith.

I'm sure Stevie personally collected the quarters from the news staffers after they made their calls. That's what responsibility and transparency is all about, law&orderADSCAMADSCAM...

"It seems the prime minister's staff was just in some unseemly haste to claim some sort of diplomatic triumph that they rushed out this news without checking the facts and it's a big embarrassment."

Fact checking, pshaw! In this brave new world order, mighty cons like Steve create reality... or wallow in septic effluence, one or the other. Sure hope the big fella doesn't hurt his nose pickin' finger while he's overseas. Atta boy Steve! You're doing a heckuva job.

Poor Patsy Pantload.

The mindless, factually-incorrect fuming vs. the oh-so-delicious smackdown. Guess who won?

Just a friendly piece of advice ... never, ever, NEVER bring a knife to a gun fight, you corpulent, mullet-sporting fuckwit. Fern’s foot must be awfully sore.

If you look closely, you can notice the difference.

On the one hand, you have some insightful questions and political punditry. On the other hand, well, you have "Opie" from "Family Guy."

Try not to confuse the two.

Is it irresponsible to speculate wildly?

If you have absolutely no evidence of wrongdoing or law-breaking, as long as you're Stephen Taylor, hell, no!

The mote in one's eye.

Time for your regular racism, Kate McMillan flavour:


The above would, of course, be in direct contrast to all those sexually-restrained and decorous Christians.

By the way, Kate, I don't see you popping out any young'uns to try to balance the demographics. Maybe it's way past time for you to find a friendly motorcycle gang and get to work. Demographically speaking.

Stephen Harper: Good little Jew boy.

Some serious pontificating on international politics:

Zbigniew Brzezinski, a former national security adviser, said that the pro-Israel lobby in the US was too powerful, while the slur of anti-Semitism was too readily used whenever its power was called into question...

Mr Brzezinski said "it's not unique to the Jewish community – but there is a McCarthyite tendency among some people in the Jewish community", referring to the Republican senator who led the anti-Communist witch hunt in the 1950s.

"They operate not by arguing but by slandering, vilifying, demonising. They very promptly wheel out anti-Semitism.

No. Fucking. Shit.

Jump, Steve.

How high?

The bigotry of low expectations ... for really stupid people.

Shorter Stephen Harper: "OK, Maxime, we know you're an incompetent, embarrassing halfwit, but let's see if we can still ride this one out."

Dear Scott McClellan:

Thanks ever so for finally deciding to tell the truth. Granted it’s five years, 4,084 confirmed American dead and untold tens of thousands of dead Iraqi civilians too fucking late but really — who’s counting?

Me, that’s who ... you corpulent hypocrite.

Because revelations like this would’ve been soooooooo much more interesting if you’d made them before the war.

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan writes in a new memoir that President Bush relied on an aggressive "political propaganda campaign" instead of the truth to sell the Iraq war, it has been reported.

The Bush White House made "a decision to turn away from candor and honesty when those qualities were most needed" — a time when the nation was on the brink of war, McClellan writes in the book entitled "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception."

The way Bush managed the Iraq issue "almost guaranteed that the use of force would become the only feasible option," the book contends, according to accounts Wednesday in The New York Times and Washington Post.

Yours in perpetual disgust,
LuLu

P.S. Here’s hoping that you really, really, REALLY can’t sleep at night for your part in selling the Iraq war.

P.P.S. Red and Chet have already taken turns putting the boots to Scotty. Go. Read. Yes, now.

Apparently, actual competence is overrated.

A little naked politics with your morning coffee?

In order to avoid further damage to Tory fortunes in the province of Quebec, Bernier must be replaced with another Quebecer.

Quite frankly, it’s the right thing to do. Now I know there have been others out there who have suggested that this portfolio should go to Jason Kenney, and as deserving as he may be, it is not the right move for the Conservatives, or for Canada.

Quite right, RTT -- the right move for Canada would be to find another irresponsible retard from Quebec who fucks biker chicks and leaves classified documents behind, because that kind of selection would benefit Stephen Harper and his gang of wingnuts.

The Conservative Party: Getting a politically-motivated boner for Canada.

Your daily "Crock o' the Matter" accomplishments.

And like a regular outbreak of cold sores, we have (in Ti-Guy's words) "doddering old bint" Sandy Crux continuing to foist her utterly misleading list of CPoC "accomplishments" on her gullible, unsuspecting (and imbecilic) Conservative colleagues.

Here's some advice, Sandy:

• It's dishonest to claim the Federal Accountability Act as an "accomplishment" when two of its signature clauses have never been passed.


• You still haven't provided a single link of corroboration for "construction of 8 patrol ships."


• It's "Randle Reef," not "Randle Reed," you airhead.

I could go on, but that can wait until later.

Dear Bell: You suck.

Go. Read.

The devil is in the details, you twit.

Blogging Tory "Hunter" gets her thong in a twist over ...

I might have missed one, even so, 42 minutes out of the hour on slimy "it's not about the girl" comments. Let's start monitoring ALL MP's and their behaviour. You want to go out on a date, security check first. You want to escape with your lover, (not your wife) security check, and call to the wife. You want to go for a drink at HY's? Check the security of all those press types hanging out at the bar.

And ... um ... oh, right ... leave classified NATO briefing documents with them for five weeks!!!

I'm sorry, Hunter, you must have missed that part, which is why you sound like a frothing, screeching, irrelevant retard. Man, that's gotta be embarrassing.

Here's another "accomplishment" for you, Sandy.

Yeah, "we're back," all right, Sandy. Think you can squeeze that one into your list there, Sandy, sweetie? Maybe under the subsection, "Hideous international embarrassments."

Yeah, that'll work nicely.

I got your “Accountability” right here, Big Daddy.

‘Cause it totally looks like you've misplaced it. Not that this girl ever bought what you were selling in the first place ... but I digress. Via the Canadian Press:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper continues to insist there are no security concerns about Maxime Bernier's recent relationship with a woman with past ties to criminal bikers - despite firing his foreign minister over a related security lapse.

But all three opposition parties are demanding an inquiry into the matter, which saw Bernier leave classified documents in April at the home of Julie Couillard, his then-girlfriend.

They want to know why no one noticed the documents were missing for five weeks, whether Bernier was as careless with other secret papers, and whether Couillard had access to any of them.

Harper suggested Tuesday that Bernier's resignation late Monday put an end to the matter. Harper said Bernier broke rules by leaving the documents unsecured, but he added that the papers have now been returned to the government and there are no security concerns.

Except — oooopsie — that’s not quite what Subsection (4) of Section 4 under Miscellaneous Offences of the Security of Information Act states about this very same matter (emphasis gleefully added).

(4) Every person is guilty of an offence under this Act who
(a) retains for any purpose prejudicial to the safety or interests of the State any official document, whether or not completed or issued for use, when he has no right to retain it, or when it is contrary to his duty to retain it, or fails to comply with any directions issued by any Government department or any person authorized by any Government department with regard to the return or disposal thereof; or

(b) allows any other person to have possession of any official document issued for his use alone, or communicates any secret official code word or password so issued, or, without lawful authority or excuse, has in his possession any official document or secret official code word or password issued for the use of a person other than himself, or on obtaining possession of any official document by finding or otherwise, neglects or fails to restore it to the person or authority by whom or for whose use it was issued, or to a police constable.

Let's see ... NATO briefing package, which would be classified as NATO Secret at the very least (if not COSMIC, depending on the contents) left behind for 5 weeks before anyone realized it was missing? That's kind of a huge oooopsie but who's counting, right?

Someone who believed and, more importantly, campaigned on a platform of "Transparency and Accountability" would probably call for an investigation. After all, you and your merry band of in-and-out, security-breaching fuckwits are alllllll about the law and order. Pardon me while I don't hold my breath.

And furthermore. The harder you try to spin Mad Max’s security breaching booty call into a gossipy bedroom farce on the part of the Loyal Opposition, the more you look like a smug, snotty, arrogant hypocrite with an unfortunate habit of talking out of both sides of your mouth. I, for one, think it looks fabulous on you. Keep up the good work!

Stephen Harper, you lying sack of crap.

Once again, Prime Minister Weasel McLiar horks up another falsehood (all emphasis added):

Asked if a larger investigation should be launched, Mr. Harper fell back on previous statements that he won't intrude on individuals' private lives.

“As we've said, private lives are private lives, and the government of Canada does not intend to get into the business of investigating private citizens.”

Unless, of course ...

Julie Couillard is an attractive woman who first drew public interest when she wore a low-cut dress to Mr. Bernier’s swearing-in as foreign minister. Word is he got a bit of a talking-to from the PMO for that little indiscretion — the Harper Tories are conservative in dress sense as well as in policies.

So peoples' private lives are none of Stephen's business, unless it's to tell them that the chick they're bonking looks a little too slutty and could she please clean up her act?

Is it that the media doesn't understand that Harper lies to them 24/7, or are they simply past the point of caring? And do I even care what the answer to this question is anymore?

Nope, didn't think that one through.

Shorter Papa Junker: "Established organizations whose members are caught raping children should be aboli ... um, hang on, let me rephrase that."

I’m outta here.

There’s an opening at the He-man Woman Hater’s Club and No Girls Allowed Treehouse aka The Politic for bloggers. Don’t you think I’d be perfect? If, you know, by perfect, I actually mean completely the wrong gender and a touch too ... oh, what's the word I'm looking for? I know — smart.

Bloggers Wanted - Join the Group Blog, ThePolitic.com
In an effort to expand ThePolitic’s scope and coverage of Canadian and world politics, we are looking for more writers to contribute. We’re interested in finding writers who can provide insight into the following topics/areas:

• Canadian Politics (National and Provincial)
• US Politics
• Middle Eastern / Israeli Politics

If you’re interested, please contact us. Prior experience writing for the Internet (or weblogs) isn’t required, but strongly encouraged. Please include your name, contact information and any relevant writing examples.

Also note, we will not be accepting any candidates who intend to cross-post between multiple weblogs - contributed material must be original. However, writers will retain copyright and ownership of contributed materials.

If you have any questions and or you want to apply, please contact Greg Farries.

Hmmmmmmmm ... that’s strange. Greg doesn’t seem to have a requirement for writers who confuse Politics with Creationism while endlessly flogging stupid movies that support their cause. Guess he’s all full up.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh, dear God. If the phrase "lipstick on a pig" doesn't leap immediately to mind, you have not been paying attention.

We are so not done with this.

AFTERSNARK: I'm amused how a link with an ".html" suffix tries to run as an ".exe" file when you click on it. These are not smart people we're dealing with here, but I'm sure you've noticed that already.

OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE:

This is a heads-up that Jack at Jack’s Newswatch is having major computer problems. He is working on his problem and will be back online just as soon as possible. Stay tuned!

How amusing -- web authoring software that barfs on appalling dishonesty. It's a wonder those two dingbats can post anything at all.

The Blogging Tories: Ten pounds of cognitive dissonance in a five-pound bag.

So, let's try to grok this. Canada's Blogging Tories are all about supporting the troops. Just ask them. Honestly, they never shut the hell up about it.

Next, a number of them are big fans of Sen. John McCain.

But rounding out the weirdness, we have:

Mr. Bush — and, to his great discredit, Senator John McCain — have argued against a better G.I. Bill, for the worst reasons. They would prefer that college benefits for service members remain just mediocre enough that people in uniform are more likely to stay put.

Sadly, recognizing such logical conundrums requires being able to process more than two thoughts at a time. You can immediately see the problem here.

Your daily crock of Crux.

Crazy lady Sandy Crux lays down a line in the sand:

Well, one assumes the opposition Liberals and certain media outlets are content now. Maxime Bernier has resigned. I hope that his former girlfriend sues them all for defamation. She has never been charged with anything. She has never been convicted. She may have made some poor choices in spouses and friends, but he who is without sin throw the first stone.

Apparently, Sandy is a big fan of forgive and forget. And forgive and forget. And forgive and forget. And forgive and forget. And ...

Well, you get the idea.

C-484 Protecting Unborn TVs

Crazy Sue has lost what little ever passed for her mind.

Let's say some guy is on his way from WallMart carrying a brand new big screen plasma TV. As he walks to his car, a criminal approaches him and hits him on his arm with a metal rod, breaking the bone. Of course, there's no way the guy can hold a heavy TV set with his arm broken, so he drops the box, and the TV gets smashed. What crimes should the assailant be charged with in this case? Would it be sufficient to charge the guy only with causing bodily harm or should he be charged with destruction of property as well?

Oy fucking vey. When JJ calls her on that steaming load she swirls up a big twist in the comments.

Okay, what if the object in question was a cage with a parrot in it?

If the parrot is injured, isn't he a victim, too?
SU*****

She goes on to try and wrench some equivalence out of the dust and fly crap that might justify Bill C-484, dedicated to the kicking of the arse of abortion. But in all threads there is a winner and over in Crazy Sue's house of plonk, our own beloved KEvron takes the prize.

tell you what: should your wallmart(sic) guy ever manage get that big screen tv up into his vagina, i'll give your analogy a little more respect....

KEvron

Math

+



thrown under



=

Interestinger

Julie Couillard has some interesting things to say for herself in her interview. She seems quite well spoken and is clearly hurt by the tone of recent events. I found it interesting that she should be especially angry at opposition MPs who used the scandalicious circumstances of her previous lovers to impugn Bernier's behaviour. Harper and Bernier allowed her to twist in the wind. If as she claims, she is a complete innocent, she should be furious with Bernier and his bosses for the off hand manner in which they played this ugly business. Despite her protestations, she has moved in circles with questionable company. Friends of friends of bikers don't get executed, like one of her previous exes.

The revelation that her house was bugged then expertly cleaned before she had it professionally swept is very interesting. This is just the beginning of the whirlwind and Harper's dismissals and deflections aren't going to be able to spin this off any time soon. There will be a great popcorn hungry audience eager to see the next few episodes of the adventures of Naughty Max. So where are the RCMP in all of this? Mishandling and removal of secret documents from secure locations should warrant a more extensive investigation, no?

Holy crap!

Apparently, you can be too stupid to be a Conservative cabinet minister. If I was Helena Guergis, I'd be feeling a mite nervous right about now.

AFTERSNARK:

"Ms. Couillard says her name has been unfairly dragged through the mud and that the public humiliation has been devastating."

Um ... yeah. She "has been married to one biker, lived with another, and dated a third alleged biker as recently as 2005," but it took going out with Maxime Bernier to really trash her reputation.

Seriously, the comedic possibilities there are endless, aren't they?

Ah, the optimism of the imbecilic.

Success is right around the corner, I swear:

Peace on a Razor's Edge

Fragile yes ... but even the MSM is acknowledging it now. Every day, the chances for success are growing as initiative shifts ever more to Iraqis. Iraq is slowing standing on her own. The dance has been the three-step shuffle ... two forward, one back, but the two forward are now moving Iraq into the sunshine.

You know what's coming, don't you? Yes, you do ...



That one's never going out of style, is it?

Want to play?

If anyone’s interested, this girl will be attending the Net Neutrality Rally tomorrow on Parliament Hill at 11:30am. I’ll be the one hobbling along in my pink Chucks ... which are the only shoes that I can comfortably wear these days.

Catch me if you can.

CONTEST

The First Annual Mr Potatahead West Memorial Erotica Challenge.

You may recall that there was a contest announcement in celebration of Ol' Mr Potatahead's dirty little book. So here we go, with a revised timeline. Submissions will be due by Saturday midnight. This allows me time to skim through them, select a weekly winner and post the results each Wednesday. As stated, the submissions should be short, no more than 2,000 words. The only other rules, nothing illegal and nothing non-consensual, all submissions must be your own original work. You are welcome to post under a pseudonym. By submitting you grant us permission to reprint your story on the site and/or in a collection at the end of the contest schedule. You will retain all rights to your own original work. Any funds generated through the sales of the collected contest winners will be donated to a sex positive charity.

Please send all submissions and suggestions for choice of charity to: wobbledog@hotmail.com and include Contest Submission in the subject line.

That's it. I will be looking into prizes and other goodies over the coming weeks and we'll have some treats, surprises and special challenges along the way.

Also please attach submissions as RTF, PDF or DOC files (if you select PDF, make it copyable, thanks).

So, have fun, play safe and don't strain your thumbs.

Week One Title: A Hot Romance

Deadline: Midnight, Saturday, May 31

Best of the bunch will be announced on Wednesday, June 4.

Dion's Court: All Fools, No Nobles

The Globe shares with us the heart warming tale of a political group hug in the Liberal ranks.

Going, going gone are the cruel winds of schadenfreude that have buffeted Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion from within his own party. If he now cocks an ear, he can hear hearty shouts of, “One for all and all for one!”

The Grits are busily splashing on their new perfume, a heady blending of musky desperation with the bitter tang of futility. After some eighteen ineffectual months, the brain trust pretending to the task of opposition have decided to circle the wagons around their leader. Dion is generally perceived as a flaccid and uninspiring pol, a nice guy well on the road to finishing last. He is a charisma vacuum fronting a party that has been unable to shed the stink of dusty, old scandals.

While the Conservative minority appears to skip from scandal to gaffe to failure, Dion's Liberals not only cannot capitalize on the governments errors, they can't even manage to whip a vote. Hell, they can barely be bothered to turn up and cast a vote. When the determined to lose party does manage to locate the House of Commons on their restaurant guides to the city of Ottawa, they consistently enable the government. Their permanent state of disarray has made them cower at the prospect of an election. But that doesn't explain their pitiful failure to oppose issues that aren't confidence motions, like the gutting of the nation's social programs.

The problem with the Liberal party is not solely that of a milquetoast leader. The Liberals have forgotten what it is to fight, to stand for a cause or a vision of this nation. In the last year I have written a number of letters to my M.P. (Liberal whip, Karen Redman) as well as to the leaders of all of the parties and a number of ministers. I have received responses from everyone else I have written to. The only Liberals I've heard back from have been members of the Senate. There is more wrong with the Liberal Party of Canada than Stéphane Dion. They have quite simply abdicated their responsibility as Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition. If they cannot find it within themselves to show up for work when they are not in power, I'll be damned if I have an interest in seeing them returned to power.

Just so you know what genius looks like.

Don't you wish you could write like this?

AFTERSNARK: Pay careful attention to this part of Drifty's diatribe:

This is absolutely infuriating fuck-you-because-the-rules-don’t-apply-to-us thing that made so many of us discretely upchuck into our napkins even as we defended Clinton v1.0 time after time after time during the 90s.

This is (as Randi Rhodes said in the stand-up bit that cost her her job) the infuriating “Because her deal is always, 'Read the fine print, asshole!'"-thing.

After retroactively re-rigging the metrics for “winning” more times that I can count, it can no longer be said that Team Clinton moves the goalposts.

Now ...

... they tear the goalposts down.

Make a bonfire out of them.

Have a weenie roast with ‘em.

Then whip their dicks out.

Then fuck the bun.

Then point a finger at us and solemnly swear that, “Ah did not have sex with that bun!”

Then yank a puck out of their pocket.

Fling it down field.

Announce that we were actually playing field hockey the whole time.

So none of Senator Obama’s “touchdowns” ever really counted.

And that the score is actually tied.

Wheeeeeeee!

Sound familiar? It should. Yes, that would be partisan hack (and the CPoC's answer to Joseph Goebbels) Sandy Crux, who never saw a straightforward English word she couldn't pistol-whip into redefinition when it worked to her advantage.

And then there's the capper:



So ... we're going to celebrate what the Stephen Harper Party of Canada "has accomplished," which would, of course, be their "accomplishments," unless we also want to throw in some "plans" and "priorities" to pad things out nicely, since we can pretend those are "accomplishments," too, even though we're going to explicitly list them independently, as in "Plans, Priorities & Accomplishments."

In short, it's still an "accomplishment," even if it hasn't been, you know, "accomplished" yet. Deja vu, baby. Deja vu.

Dear Stephane: It's time for you to go.

Apparently, the new meme these days is, "All the Liberals are finally rallying around Stephane Dion and now, just you wait, he is so going to kick ass, you'll see, yessirree, no doubt about it."

As one example (emphasis added):

On Underestimating Stephane Dion

Dion hasn't had it easy since taking the reigns of the Liberal Party. He's been portrayed as weak, indecisive, lacking personality, not truly having the support of the party and more. Even I have written criticisms of Dion. Some of these characterizations are not without merit and his personal polling numbers bare these perceptions. However, I don't think Dion has yet been completely written off and can - will - make a huge turnaround.

Stop it. Just fucking stop it, OK?

It should be obvious by now that Stephane Dion has been an utter failure as Liberal leader. And I'm tired -- really, truly tired -- of being told how he's finally learning how to run that party, or how he's finally getting comfortable with himself, or how he's finally whatever the fuck it is he's finally figured out how to do.

Being the leader of the official opposition is not the time or the place for an on-the-job training program. From the get-go, we Canadians who are not batshit crazy retards, fetus fetishists, Bible thumpers and pants-pissing cowards needed someone with the political smarts, moxie and spine to stand up to the deranged, Canada-hating neo-con currently infesting 24 Sussex Drive. And we didn't get that. But we keep being told, "Patience, Stephane's getting the hang of this, he's almost there, and boy, when he gets his shit together, it's gonna be totally awesome, dude, you'll see. It's gonna, like, totally rock, and everything."

Fuck that.

It's been almost a year and a half, and there's only so much "Hang in there, it's happening" someone can take. I want someone who can protect me from the imbecilic fuckwits in the Conservative Party of Canada, and Stephane Dion is not up to the job. Period. Never has been. Never will be.

So all you fawning, sycophantic Liberals can sheath those Dion-inspired erections of yours, and start figuring out who should be running your party. Because the person doing it at the moment just isn't. And it's time for all you Dion groupies to grow the hell up and do the right thing. For once.

Denyse O'Leary: The viral blogger.

Just when you thought it was safe to stop laughing at Canadian IDiot Denyse O'Leary, well, let's refresh our memory, shall we?

Breaking News: Denyse O'Leary Has a New Blog!

Denyse "Buy My Book" O'Leary has started a new blog. That makes four altogether. What's the new one all about? It's about a new book she's going to write on the multiverse [Today at Colliding Universes].

Oh well, look on the bright side. Now she'll be posting the same IDiot article four times so your chances of accidentally missing it are very slim.
...
Post-Diluvian Diaspora said...

post-darwinist, mindful hack, colliding universes, uncommon descent, design of life, the ID report, and overwhelming evidence...that's 7

Oh, it gets better. First, we have Denyse carefully tending to her link farm:



And your bonus hilarity at no extra charge. No, no, don't thank me -- holding complete and utter twatwaffles up to public ridicule and mockery is what I live for.

Your "liberal" media in action.

With their delicate sensibilities and hyper-sensitivity to incivility, I'm sure Canada's Blogging Tories will be all over this like Dick Evans on the latest NAMBLA newsletter.

Let's all wait for the outrage, shall we?

That’s just icky.

Shorter Mr. PotatoHead West: Progressives have had a creepy obsession with sex for decades. I, on the other hand, have a creepy obsession with talking about the Progressive obsession with sex.

Sometimes, this job is too easy.

First, there was guest poster and military authority Matt Bin, waxing philosophical on the subject of war resisters, a post which has, at this point, collected some 23 comments. Not surprisingly, this was followed in short order by an opposing screed from Axis of Douchebaggery's Patsy Ross, who hilariously -- from the depths of ignorance almost beyond description -- wrote:

The truth is that if Matt Bin was really such an expert on the military, he would understand a few things about the military.

Hmmmmm ... so, on the one hand, we have Matthew Bin who, according to his bio, "served as a Bombardier in the 11th Field Regiment, Royal Canadian Artillery, from 1991 to 1994," and is the author of a book on Canada's peacekeeping forces, "On Guard for Thee."

And on the other hand, we have Twatrick Ross, whose expertise at things military apparently extends as far as ... well ... this.

I think we're done here. Degree of difficulty: -2,000,000.

Stephen Harper: "Accomplishments" and fuck-ups.

Yeah, we're going to get some entertainment mileage out of right-wing, partisan hack Sandy Crux for quite some time to come, but here's a tidbit I ran across earlier today. Remember how we pointed out how Harpo's vaunted "Federal Accountability Act" wasn't really working as well as it had been sold?

Kathryn May, The Ottawa Citizen
Published: Friday, October 05, 2007

The rules-laden Federal Accountability Act is backfiring and creating a bureaucracy of risk-averse "Dilberts" who keep their heads down, don't trust anyone and put process ahead of getting things done, warns a report by Ottawa think-tank Public Policy Forum.

The newly-released report, which draws on interviews with 50 leaders in the public and private sectors, including former prime ministers Joe Clark and Paul Martin, concludes that the Conservatives' signature legislation went so overboard with rules, regulations and parliamentary watchdogs looking over bureaucrats' shoulders that it is killing morale and stifling innovation, creativity and effective leadership.

And who ... I beseech of you, who ... could possibly have seen that coming? Oh, wait:

Tories' Accountability Act has become law
Updated Tue. Dec. 12 2006 6:11 PM ET

OTTAWA -- The Federal Accountability Act became law Tuesday, marking the biggest legislative accomplishment yet of Prime Minister Stephen Harper's minority Conservative government...

In the word-of-caution category, [public policy expert Donald] Savoie warns that government is likely to get more timid, more bureaucratic and generally slower as a result of the new measures.

In other words, they were warned, but they figured they knew better.

Join us this winter, during which several well-meaning citizens try to tell various Conservative cabinet ministers not to put their tongues on frozen metal poles in December. To no avail.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It made you proud to be a Canadian:

16/05/2008 7:12:43 AM
CTV.ca News Staff

... Bev Oda, the minister of International Co-operation has said that the federal government will be matching private donations made by aid groups working on disaster relief for Burma as well as China, which has suffered a deadly earthquake.

Unfortunately, given time, the sleazy Stephen Harper douchebaggery will eventually out:

Strings attached to feds' pledge to match donations

Updated Sat. May. 24 2008 4:48 PM ET
The Canadian Press

OTTAWA -- The federal government's offer to match Canadian donations to disaster relief efforts in China and Burma turns out to be nowhere near as generous as it initially appeared.

Humanitarian groups have been disappointed to discover the bulk of donations they've received thus far -- in the immediate aftermath of the disasters -- won't be matched at all.

Um ... OK, what's the catch? Oh ...

However, details subsquently posted by the Canadian International Development Agency revealed the government will match only those individual donations received by aid groups between May 15 and June 6.

That excludes all the donations that poured in immediately after the devastating May 2 cyclone in Burma, and the May 12 earthquake in China.

And guess whose lives this fucks up?

[Kieran] Green estimated Care and its partner groups in the Humanitarian Coalition have thus far raised about $200,000 through private donations from individuals for the relief effort in Burma.

He said some donors have asked Care to refund their original early contributions so they can make new donations that will be matched by the government.

And while I can sympathize with humanitarian organizations like Care, come on, how depressingly gullible do you have to be to have fallen for that announcement in the first place? I mean, the Conservatives offered to do something charitable for less-fortunate people. What the fuck made you think they meant it?

There's obsessive, and then there's ...

Shorter Ezra: "You see, there's this controversy involving the Canadian Human Rights Commission, which is important because the Canadian Human Rights Commission, not to mention the Canadian Human Rights Commission, and furthermore the Canadian Human Rights Commission, mostly due to hate speech and the Canadian Human Rights Commission, which is clearly unfair of the Canadian Human Rights Commission, and did I mention that I went for lunch yesterday, and I had the poached salmon, which reminds me of this incident with the Canadian Human Rights Commission ..."

Canadian Cynic: 8,000 posts and still lawsuit-free. Because we're not retarded. Like Ezra Levant.

Sunday Funnies.

A little drag queen with your coffee this morning? But of course ... because in this girl’s opinion, it's the best scene in the entire movie.

It's Sunday: Time to kill someone's kids.

Over at UOH, JJ documents more of that Christian love and compassion. Me? I'm an Old Testament man myself:

And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

And as for those Psalms, well, they're just sooooo depressing:

O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

Don't get me started. Seriously.

BONUS WINGNUTTERY AT NO EXTRA CHARGE. Ah, this is timely:

How deep can hatred of Israel go???

Even saving your children's life is too much...if the treatment is in Israel...

The parents of Iraqi babies with congenital heart problems are facing a dilemma: should they allow their children to be treated in Israeli hospitals when they have been brought up to believe that Israel is their mortal enemy?

Hostility towards the Jewish state in Iraq is so strong that many parents refuse to travel to Tel Aviv for free life-saving hole-in-the-heart surgery.

What monsters! Don't they understand that there's a right way to kill your children by withholding medical treatment? God, you really do have to explain everything to some folks, don't you?

Smoosh

Hmm, things is wonky on the computron 5000 tonight. If this embed works it should show you some Smoosh. A couple of young girls that might just be the future of rawk'n'pop.

Leave him alone, LuLu. I'm serious.

While I enjoy a good Bible-thumper smackdown as much as the next person, some people are out of bounds, and Mr. John Pacheco is one of them. When you have someone who writes of the Left getting "a taste of its own medicine" and further threatening a "very messy ending," well, those are the people that make me grateful I blog anonymously.

Let it go, LuLu. Folks like Pacheco are the ones who make me glad we have strict firearm control in this country.

P.S. I'm guessing that Canada's wankers who freak out and accuse members of the Canadian Left of threatening "violence" for much less than the above will be curiously silent and forgiving regarding Mr. Pacheco. Because he's one of theirs. That's how it works, if you haven't figured it out yet.

Well ... that’s not very Christian.

I found us a new Christianist whacko, boys and girls, and I think he’s a keeper. Everybody say hello to John Pacheco who seems to be a little confused about his "Religion of Peace" (just try not to make eye contact):

The Lunatic Left & Violence

Just how long does the Left think it can resort to violence before it gets a taste of its own medicine?

Keep it up, guys, and the ending will be very messy indeed for you.

That sounds vaguely like a threat to me. Tsk, tsk. Looks like somebody missed his Sunday School lesson about turning the other cheek.

Is it just me ...

... or has anyone else noticed how Canada's whackjob, numbskull "free speech" warriors want to sue the shit out of people to get them to shut up?

I mean, really, the cognitive dissonance here is getting downright alarming.

Sandy would tell you, but then she'd have to kill you.

Good golly, it was only days ago that right-wing shill and partisan hack Sandy Crux was getting all moist over her hero Stephen Harper and his "accomplishments" ... like this one:

16. Approved Manley Report on Afghanistan and extended mission until 2011;

Yes, that's certainly something to brag about. Or at least it was until ... well, let's let Sandy give you the depressing new developments:

Manley says Cdns still in dark about Afghanistan

While I normally have immense respect for John Manley, I am a little puzzled over his recent remarks. In an interview with CBC he apparently complained that Canadians were still in the dark about the Afghanistan mission. Suggesting, of course, that the recommendations in his panel’s report that the prime minister be more forthcoming with information, was not being followed.

Yeah, that's a bit odd, since it puts Sandy in the awkward position of bragging about an "accomplishment" that we, the public, really still don't quite grok. And how does Sandy propose to salvage the situation? Oh:

Well, I for one am not in the dark any more than at any other time in my life when our troops have been in harms way. In fact, I would ask just how much any government, liberal or conservative, can tell the population without giving away information to the enemy?

Ah, I see. So ... we can all take pride in the Manley Report and its implications, except when we actually want to know what those implications are, but telling you might gave away important security secrets to the bad people, so we can't and, therefore, you'll have to take our word for it. Translation: "I wish I could tell you ... ooooh, if you only knew what I knew."

Luckily, this still counts as an "accomplishment," and Sandy's good with that. Which is all that matters. But if you want to know more, you can follow Sandy's link to this website, where everything you need to know is available to the reading public. Even, curiously enough, to the bad people.

Is any of this making sense?

Retardopedia redux.

As PZ Myers says: "Clueless git."

And in some alternate universe, Denyse O'Leary is not a retard.

Canadian wingnut and IDiot Denyse O'Leary takes time off from starting new blogs to get everything wrong yet again:

Meanwhile, an individual calling himself Canadian Cynic was apparently quite upset that The Spiritual Brain was shortlisted for three Canadian Christian Writing Awards. Cynic doesn't like the book and vowed to write the office, but of course the office doesn't interfere with the judges.

Um ... I was "quite upset?" Hey, I know ... let's read what I actually wrote, shall we?

As a regular critic of Ms. O'Leary and her scientifically illiterate nonsense, all I can say is, yes, please, dear God, let her win in all three categories. Given that that book is such utterly worthless rubbish ... you have no idea of the entertainment value that will be unleashed if you decide that that book represents the pinnacle -- the creme de la creme, if you will -- of Canadian Christian writing. Trust me, if that book captures any awards, the amusement value will last for months.

Yes, clearly, I was livid beyond description. And as for this idiotic pronouncement of Denyse's:

Cynic doesn't like the book and vowed to write the office ...

Denyse, honey, sweetie, you insufferable moron ... I did not "vow" to write the office; I wrote the office and even reproduced what I wrote in that post. How difficult a concept can that be?

And this is the imbecile who's going to hook up with a physicist and expound on matters multiverse-related and cosmological? Oh, man, you can't buy this kind of hilarity.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

A little Bugs Bunny ‘rassling this morning, I think ... for all our Kathy Shaidle aka Five Feet of Truly Tasteless™ fans. Come on, I know you’re out there — you send us letters, after all.

Only the names have been changed to protect the terminally witless.

From this morning's mailbag here at CC HQ (I am not making this up):

Hi: I am trying to get in touch with Kathy Shaidle and don't know if this is the proper channel. I would like to talk to her re the Human Rights' Commission abuses and whether she would like to speak to our women's conservative lobby group. Could you please have her e-mail me.

Thank you.

XXXXXXX XXXXXXX

Dear XXXXXXX XXXXXXX:

I would be happy to pass on this request to Ms. Shaidle, but it's a bit disturbing that you seem incapable of figuring out on your own how to connect with her. I'm guessing that sort of combination would make for a singularly unproductive speech -- a horrible shrew addressing a bunch of right-wing dimbulbs.

Or maybe you're perfect for each other. There's that possibility, too.