Friday, February 01, 2008

Why, yes, I WAS right again, thanks for asking.

Gosh, it was only days ago that I described the delightfully unencumbered lifestyle of the anti-choice crusader and yet even my perpetually cynical outlook didn't prepare me for this new standard in hands-off, fetus-fetishist activism:

Teens Use Stranger’s Fetus As A Tamagotchi

Remember those virtual pets that were all the rage in the 1990s? Well, they’re back, more life-like than ever, and best of all, they’re in your uterus!

WALLINGFORD, PA. — The bell rang and the eighth graders jumped up, eager to compare notes.

“I named my baby Kyle Patrick,” one shouted.

“Mine is Antonio!”

At the urging of an antiabortion activist, they had each pledged to “spiritually adopt” a fetus developing in an unknown woman — to name it, love it from afar and above all, pray daily that the mother-to-be would not choose abortion.

... In today’s page one shocker, the secret anti-abortion weapon involves anonymous, non-consensual stealth adoptions by remote control.

Yes, by all means, stealth adoptions of unknown fetuses in unknown mothers, because congregating every so often to tut-tut abortion in front of the TV cameras simply became too much work. It's all about the time management, you know.

(Wag of the tail.)

P.S. Make sure you read the comments at WoC, like this one:

“I named my baby Kyle Patrick,” one shouted.

“Mine is Antonio!”

“Mine is a ninth level Paladin!”

“Oh, yeah? Mine can fly!”

“Mine had the batteries run out and he died.”

“HA HA! Jimmy killed his baaa-by! Jimmy killed his baaa-by!”

“Mine is hydrocephalic, and she’s gonna make my living conditions so desperate that my wife’s gonna leave and I’ll kill my kid in a drunken fit of resentment and bitter rage before she’s five!”

“Mine’s named Suzie, but I don’t wanna get married, so I’m gonna kill her mom before Suzie’s born.”

Mine’s President!”

I'm guessing that last one was Barbara Bush.


Ti-Guy said...

These fundies and their spiraling stupidity. Where exactly will it end?

E in MD said...

Hey C'mon now... they're just trying to educate people and save lives of human beings no matter where they live.

And they are absolutely not turn human lives into a fucking video game so that children will accept their own perverse fetishistic social domination experiment.