"Officer ... there are numerous men raping women in Centretown!"
"Well, yes, ma'am, we're aware of that and we're taking steps. First, understand that there used to be over a thousand of them raping women but, with some of them getting bored raping women in Centretown and leaving voluntarily, it's down to about 250 so that's definite progress, and we've blocked off some streets to prevent any more rapists from entering the area. We're sure that if we just be patient, most of them will probably leave by the weekend. As for arresting them, well, it turns out that that would upset them and we don't want to incite anything, so we're taking a hands-off approach for the time being. Mostly, our advice is, if you don't want to be raped, don't go outdoors. And maybe stop dressing like that."
There you go, Ottawa Police Services ... fixed it for you.
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