Fuck Censorship

How refreshing to see a maladjusted prig crawl out from under the thumb of Stephen Harper's control freak administration and take credit where due. Hallelujah to you Dr. Mr. Charles McVety! Congratulations on a job well done. It is high time that those who shape our public policy, those that have the ear of government, be accorded their fair share of acknowledgment for the work they do. As president of the Canadian Family Action Coalition, who better to be crafting the little snips of stealthy legislation that get tucked into the massive tomes of the new, American styled omnibus bills? I mean, here's a fellow whose organization is Canadian and advocates for family action. Heckfire, nothing could sound healthier than that.

According to the Globe & Mail Mr. McVety claims to have enjoyed numerous meetings with Minister of Public Safety Stockwell Day, Justice Minister Rob Nicholson and officials in the PMO. Evidently, all of that lobbying effort has paid off in a fruitful way, praise Jesus Mr. McVety, praise him. Indeed, isn't it time that those who work so hard behind the scenes got to share the spotlight with the members and ministers of government with whom they share their great mission. Why without Mr. McVety's organization and their lobbying, things might not have changed. Artists might not have to answer to an "independent committee", under the auspices of the Heritage Minister, for the labour tax exemptions and the funding from Telefilm Canada that often means the difference between a film being shot or shelved. Isn't that wonderful!

So just who are these swell folks that have put in so much effort to ensure that Canadians don't get to make films that are controversial, that deal with homosexuality in anything but a negative light, that don't celebrate or glorify violence unless it is the sacred scourging of the saviour performing the stations of the cross? Well according to their web site, the executive committee consists of Brian Rushfeldt, "family and addictions counsellor, Bible college dean, associate pastor, and air traffic controller." So when the rapture comes, even if your pilot is a godless commie, you still might be going down, sinner. And then there's Mr. Dr. Charles McVety himself, let's just grab his whole bio blurb:

Dr. Charles McVety
President
Dr. McVety is President of Canada Christian College in Toronto, with satellite campuses around the world. He holds several degrees and has authored a book, Victory Guaranteed. Dr. McVety has a long history of involvement in political issues in Canada, and has served with CFAC since our inception as a founding Board member. He hosts a national TV program – Word.ca, and is a regular columnist in several newspapers. Dr. McVety brings a wealth of expertise in political, educational, and ministry leadership to CFAC.

Pastor, minister, Christian College, Word.ca (Christian News Source/TV show) hmmm... call me crazy, but I sense a theme developing. Fundamentalist Christian whack jobs? Why yes, yes they are. Not convinced, dig this from the Canada Christian College site under the heading, Ministerial Organization.

"The Evangelical Association was founded in 1963 by Godlymen and women who were moved by the Holy Spirit to band together for the purpose of promoting Evangelical Christianity throughout the World. They were motivated by a strong persuasion that the Bible, consisting of the sixty-six books of the Old and New Testaments is the Divinely inspired and inerrant Word of God.

The Association was founded in Winnipeg, Manitoba by leaders under the direction of Dr. Elmer S. McVety. They shared a vision to develop and build on Biblical principles. The Association is governed by a board of directors currently consisting of eight persons. This board appoints and dismisses all officials by a majority vote at a duly called meeting with at least a quorum in attendance."

"...our members have allowed denominational differences to fade into insignificance and have joined hands under our banner in the interest of Fundamental Christianity. We are a body of Evangelical ministers who hold our membership with the Association while we labour in our respective churches."

Yes indeed brothers and sisters, these are the folks influencing not only what you should or shouldn't be able to see but what artists should or should not be able to create in this great free land of ours. See, if artists had any sense they'd declare themselves a fucking church, skip taxes all together, start a college which would then supply all of the manpower and technical expertise to shoot a TV show, just like Herr Dr. McVety has done with word.ca, broadcast by CTS and the Miracle Channel. Of course, looking at word.ca something occurs to me. Let's just go back to that Globe article a moment...

"Mr. Day and Mr. Nicholson said through officials yesterday they did not recall discussing the issue with Mr. McVety."

Well that might just be some Gonzo worthy forgettering! Pop on over to word.ca and have a gander at the big, grinning line up of Christian luminaries. You got your fat, dead ignorant pig-faced Jerry Falwell and a hand full of greasy... hey! Wait just a second, who's that smiling off the screen, third from the right? Isn't that, yes, yes it is Safety Minister Stockwell Day!



I'm going out on a limb here but I'm going to suggest that crazy, fundie fuckwit Dr. Senor McVety is telling the truth. I'd bet my bottom dollar that he did use his access to fellow fundamentalist Christian retard Stockwell Day, to peddle this back door economic censorship. Because one of these godly gents is a lying, disreputable shit and while it could easily be either or both, in this instance Stockwell has something to hide and McVety just has a bloated ego to feed. Given that he has a college and a TV show to feed his ego, I'm going with weasel boy Day trying to sneak out of culpability as the most likely scenario.

Here's a thought for Mr. Day, Dr. McVety, Conservative MP Batters, Mr. Nicholson and the rest of the self righteous pissants waving their Jesus flags and declaring that they know best, keep your dirty fingers out of the arts. You can vote for or against a film at the box office. Keep your grubby faith off our bodies, out of our bedrooms and private lives. You are the most destructively meddlesome herd of inbred pricks that walk upright. Lead your lives in all of your smug, self-righteous bliss. What others do, how they live and what they practice or believe is none of your business. You are unwelcome nannies. Fuck off.

UPDATE Additional Readings:

An excellent examination by Dave at The Galloping Beaver.

The fabulous JJ let's 'em have it at the Award Wining Unrepentant Old Hippie.

Standing for your freedoms of expression and personal autonomy, the ever heroic over-achievers at A Creative Revolution.

Superstar blogger and stalwart defender of free speech, fair use and electronic liberty, Canadian science fiction author Cory Doctorow weighs in at boingboing.

The awesome matttbastard asks the musical question, will selfish, prissy whingers like Ezra (me, me, me) Levant side with freedom of expression for anyone other than his own plump, privileged self? mattt lays it down over at bastard.logic.

And last but certainly not least, the show-offs over at Stageleft have two entries. Treehugger leads off with Fat Steve, Auteur and Stageleft caps it off with what is truly offensive.

An oversight on my part as the ACR team knocks more than one out of the park. A second helping won't hurt a bit over at A Creative Revolution.

So now what?

You do realize that this is becoming an ugly habit with you and the rest of your “accountability and transparency for thee, but not for me” cronies, right? Via Yahoo News:

Allegations that Conservative party operatives offered a dying MP a fat insurance policy to influence his House of Commons vote in 2005 tap into a rich and recent history of clandestine offers - some proven, some merely alleged.
[…]
Recent examples range from the mundane and marginal to cabinet-rattling headliners:

-Former Canadian Alliance MP Jim Hart took the party to court and settled after claiming he'd been offered $62,000 to quit his B.C. seat in July 2000 to make way for new party leader Stockwell Day. "My resignation was contingent upon this negotiation," Hart wrote Day in a letter obtained by the Liberal party.

-In 2005, a prospective Conservative candidate in Ottawa claimed he'd been offered $50,000 for expenses to make way for a star Tory candidate. Harper publicly denied there was a deal, but a subsequent court case vindicated Allan Riddell's claim.

-In May 2005, Conservative MP Gurmant Grewal claimed he was offered a Liberal sinecure abroad or a Senate seat for his wife in return for scratching his budget vote. Grewal secretly taped the negotiations with then prime minister Paul Martin's chief of staff and Liberal cabinet minister Ujjal Dosanjh. An ethics inquiry ended up rebuking Grewal.

-Conservative MP Belinda Stronach crossed the Commons floor on May 17, 2005, in return for a seat in Martin's Liberal cabinet. Her vote, along with Cadman's, helped the Liberal minority survive for another half year.

-Freshly elected Liberal MP David Emerson abandoned the Liberals two weeks after the Jan. 23, 2006, election in return for a seat in Harper's Conservative cabinet.

-Ottawa Mayor Larry O'Brien is currently facing two counts of influence peddling involving allegations he dangled cash and a federal appointment to induce a fellow candidate to quit the municipal race in the fall of 2006. Terry Kilrea did quit, but did not accept the alleged offer. Conservative officials, including cabinet minister John Baird, insist no federal appointment was ever discussed or offered.

Certainly looks like you can get down in the dirt with the best of them, Big Daddy. I hate to resort to cliché but while you can fool some of the people some of the time — and all of the Blogging Tories all of the time (because they’re stupid) — you really can’t fool me.

You're going to wear this one for quite some time ... and let me be the first to say that it looks outstanding on you.

Dr. Roy rewrites Dr. Seuss.

Dr. Seuss was pro-life, he was, he was
He was because I say he was

Pro-life in a house, pro-life with a mouse
Anti-choice with a fox, anti-choice in a box

He did not like abortion, yes it’s true
Hi did not like it, and neither should you

There’s just one small problem with that, doc ... as usual, you’re completely wrong. I know, I was totally shocked, too.

Only if you have a strong stomach.

Seriously, if you haven't had your daily quota of right-wing dumbassitude, you desperately need some Dick Evans-flavoured idiocy, including this precious comment from Dick's co-blogger "Gamil Gharbi":

Young offenders act says you cant give away the identity of minors to protect them. If he is giving away identities or encouraging it he is committing a criminal offense.

I’d mention it to the police.

Yes, that would be me, "giving away" the "identity" of, one assumes, Dick's kids ... the very same kids whose identity that Dick so conveniently splashed all over the Intertoobs here.

I'd ask if it's even possible for human beings to be any stupider than that but, well, give it 24 hours and I'm betting those folks will continue to amaze.

O.M.F.G. Dick's intellectually-stunted co-blogger "Wonder Woman" weighs in on her own blog with an absolutely ducky suggestion (emphasis added):

I left a comment, recommending Richard report this threat to the police. I also suggest he take the proactive measure of informing the school board and his children's schools, himself, but that may be lending more credit than is warranted, to the festering scab who has lobbed the threat.

Now that is the best suggestion I've heard so far -- that Dick get on the phone and personally explain to his local school board about his creepy fetish and obsession with buying up domain names and using them to promote child sex with adults. I couldn't have come up with a more brilliant idea if I'd tried, and I can just imagine the beginning of that conversation:

"Hi, uh, my name's Richard Evans and I have a couple kids in the Calgary school system and I also have a thing for linking to NAMBLA but it's not like it's my fault, it's really this guy in Ontario that I've never met that's making me do it so, are we good here? Seriously, we're cool, right? Hello? Hello?"

Yeah, that works for me in a big way. Good thinking, WW. Why don't you run that idea up Richard's flagpole and see if anyone salutes?

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

On the other hand ...

Shorter Canadian conservatives: "As devout Christians who absolutely and unequivocally believe in an invisible, intangible but infinitely omniscient and omnipotent deity without even the flimsiest bit of supporting evidence to back that up, there's no way we're going to accept these Chuck Cadman accusations without positively ironclad, irrefutable proof."

Blogging Tories stupid, Chuck Cadman edition.

First, let's have Dave make a critically important observation:

Cadman's survivor benefit, unless I have this mistaken, would have been approximately 2 years annual salary as a member of parliament. That would make a $1 million offer more - much more.

And, by way of contrast, let's check in on a typically retarded member of Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories:

If the insurance policy was "only to replace financial considerations he might lose due to an election" then it's an absolute non-issue. The Opposition should drop it immediately and get back to opposing.

If the policy was discussed as part of incentives to sway Cadman's vote then that's a criminal act and the RCMP should be involved immediately.

OK, Mark, let's try to connect the dots, then, shall we? Dave managed to do it, so can you. Come on ... it's not hard, you can do it. Which of those two possibilities seems to be supported by all the evidence?

Frankly, sometimes I'm not sure why I bother.

AND THE BT WEASELLY HACKERY CONTINUES: BT Mike Brock tries to do nuance, and gets hammered in his own comments section. Not surprisingly, he doesn't take it well.

Where's a wingnut when you really need one?

High gas prices? No problem:


Suddenly, a surplus of Blogging Tories doesn't seem like such a bad thing after all.

Quelle surprise.

And who didn't see this bit of Godly dumbfuckitude coming?

Evangelist takes credit for film crackdown

Christian crusader says he pressured cabinet ministers and PMO officials to deny tax credits to productions deemed too offensive

A well-known evangelical crusader is claiming credit for the federal government's move to deny tax credits to TV and film productions that contain graphic sex and violence or other offensive content.

Charles McVety, president of the Canada Family Action Coalition, said his lobbying efforts included discussions with Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day and Justice Minister Rob Nicholson, and "numerous" meetings with officials in the Prime Minister's Office.

"We're thankful that someone's finally listening," he said yesterday. "It's fitting with conservative values, and I think that's why Canadians voted for a Conservative government."

Darned right. And once we stop wasting public money on smut, well, I can think of other utter wastes of the taxpayer's hard-earned dollar.

Time for Canadian Christians to stop being such financial leeches, wouldn't you say?

THE MORALS AND VIRTUES OF CHARLES McVETY: Lest we forget, it was Christian douchebag McVety who was convinced that Canada needs a Ralph Reed. That would be this Ralph Reed, which suggests that Canada needs a Ralph Reed about as much as we need another Charles McVety, which would be about as much as we need an outbreak of genital warts.

P.S. What is it with sleazy conservatives and life insurance policies on other people? Once is a coincidence, but twice? That's a pattern.

NAMBLA-Dick, and the CC reader challenge.

Oh, dear God ... just how self-destructively brain-damaged can one human being possibly be? As you might be aware, Calgary blogger and Stormfront-flavoured racist Richard Evans is still pushing this Canadian Cynic/pedophilia link, despite having not a shred of evidence to support any of it, but that doesn't stop him from publishing idiocy like, oh, this:

C.C. and Ti-Guy Neutered?

Not entirely, but their pool of potential sexual victims just shrunk considerably:

or defamatory rubbish like, oh, this:

The individual who calls himself "canadiancynic" seems to like the idea that 45 year old men should be legally allowed to have sex with 14 year old boys.

So here's what we're gonna do.

Dick is clearly too stupid to appreciate the dangers of a confrontational strategy of publishing his personal information online, then getting into it with an anonymous blogger and, yes, it's unfair to take it out on his kids. So here's a slightly different project I have in mind.

So far, we know (from totally public information available online) Dick's family situation, and even his home address and phone number (107 Beddington Cr NE, Calgary). So what are we going to do with that? I'm glad you asked.

Based on that information, it shouldn't be hard to figure out where his children go to school (again, most likely public information based on residence). And from that, it should be relatively easy to get a list of relevant local teachers and school board members (again, openly public information). And once that's in hand, it should be a piece of cake to make sure all of those responsible individuals are educated as to Dick's disturbing predilection for online child rape and promotion of child sex.

I'm thinking maybe a mass e-mailing to school board members. Perhaps notes to the teachers. Or, heck, why stop there? How about a mass delivery of eye-opening flyers in local mailboxes? Yup, I bet that would get someone's attention. ("Dear concerned parent: Let's talk about Richard Evans, shall we?")

Now we're all painfully aware of Dick's obsession with web sites and links promoting NAMBLA. But, technically speaking, does that really prove that Dick is into child sex? To which the proper response would be, of course, who cares!?!? Normally, I'd be terribly concerned about accuracy but, given that Dick seems willing to publish defamatory accusations that come only from his demented imagination, I figure I should get to play by the same rules.

So let's get started. I'd appreciate it if amused readers that live in Calgary can start tracking down any of the information I'm looking for above, and e-mail it to me. Do not post it in the comments section -- if you do, I'll delete it. E-mail only: Dick's kid's school(s), relevant contact people at those schools, school board members, trustees ... you get the idea. But make sure you understand the most important rule in all of this.

Every bit of this information must have been publicly available. It is absolutely unacceptable to do any hacking or illegal behaviour to learn any of this. Public records only, after which I will do my best to introduce Dick Evans to his local school officials. And his neighbours. And their kids.

Yes, I admit that picking on Dick's kids is unfair. So let's just go back to picking on Dick. And his racism. And his pedophilia. Think of it as a public service. Because, here at CC HQ, we're just thinking of the kids. And protecting them from Dick.

So let's go -- the lines are open, and operators are standing by.

BY THE WAY, here's something I'm betting that mental drop case Richard never thought of. Richard has, on a number of occasions, offered a monetary reward for my identity and, at the same time, has challenged me to sue him if I think he's made defamatory statements.

Now, since I prefer to retain my anonymity, I haven't even considered anything resembling legal action, despite the fact that Richard has clearly defamed me. In short, it's only my continuing anonymity that's protecting Richard from legal action. And I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this, can't you?

That's right -- if, somehow, Richard does figure out who I am and posts that information (and subsequently blows my anonymity), he can be assured of being served with papers within a week. After all, if I have no anonymity left to protect, then, what the hell? And I can assure Richard that I've been collecting all of his accusations and threats all this time. Just as I can assure him that, as a result of that potential legal action, the phrases "Richard Evans" and "pedophilia" will be forever linked in the minds of Calgarians for years to come.

So go ahead, Dick, and keep trying to expose my identity. Because the instant you actually succeed, I guarantee I will turn your life (and those of your wife and kids) into pure shit. But, hey, don't take any good advice from me. Feel free to do the dumbest thing imaginable. Why break with tradition now?

SNICKER ... Once again, poor Dick is reduced to lying to his readership thusly (no, no link, that would just encourage him):

CC’s thinking that he’s going to get at [my kids] through their schools: ...

Um ... no, Dick, this whole proposal has nothing to do with getting at your kids, it has to do with holding you up to public ridicule and embarrassment for your disturbing obsession with child sex. Not surprisingly, though, Dick totally misrepresents what I've written here so he can still milk his mentally retarded readership for sympathy.

Nice try, Dick, but this isn't about your kids anymore. It's about you and your NAMBLA fixation. Deal with it.

OH, DEAR GOD, THE IRONY. I really don't want to give Dick any extra traffic but, seriously, you have to read this from one of Dick's intellectually deranged co-bloggers:

I consider this noteworthy.

Isn’t there a law against stalking? Wouldn’t his open declaration that his goal is to harass your family, be enough to call the cops on?

That's right -- that's "Wonder Woman," seriously suggesting that Richard try to charge me with stalking and harassment.

You cannot make this stuff up.

Where did I put that fainting couch?

Pearls clutched firmly in hand, Big Daddy and his merry band of Victorian morality police are putting the smut producers on notice. Via the Globe and Mail:

The Conservative government has drafted guidelines that would allow it to pull financial aid for any film or television show that it deems offensive or not in the public's best interest - even if government agencies have invested in them.

The proposed changes to the Income Tax Act would allow the Heritage Minister to deny tax credits to projects deemed offensive, effectively killing the productions. Representatives from Heritage and the Department of Justice will determine which shows or films pass the test.

No, really. But it might not be as easy as they think.

Toronto lawyer David Zitzerman of Goodmans LLP says the government's plans smack of "closet censorship."

"The proposed new initiative, if not properly crafted, could potentially violate the Charter [of Rights and Freedoms] and lead to possible legal challenges against the Minister of Canadian Heritage," Mr. Zitzerman said yesterday. "Such a provision could potentially lead to the government acting as 'morality police.' The existing definitions of pornography and obscenity in the Criminal Code should be sufficient for the government's purposes.

"Would this committee put money into Juno? It might not want to encourage teen pregnancy. Would the government put money into a film with a dirty title, like Young People Fucking? Would they invest in something like Brokeback Mountain? They might not want to encourage gay cowboys to have sex together in Alberta."

There are gay cowboys in Alberta? Somebody better tell NAMBLA-Dick ... he’ll be on this like a fat kid on a Smartie©.

Dear (insert deity of choice):

You. Me. So over.

That’s right, kids, -28 with the fucking wind chill. And the wind isn’t gusting, it’s constant. I hate winter.

Drinking cynically in Ottawa.

[Post-dated to stay up here for a bit.]

For reasons various and sundry, I plan on being in Ottawa toward the end of this week, which seems like a perfectly respectable excuse to congregate with like-minded unhinged, deranged moonbats and drink heavily.

As always, this one will be by invite only and will take place Friday evening somewhere in downtown Ottawa. E-mail for details and you might just get them.

Since you can never have too much crazy ...

Shorter Canadian Sentinel: Why is the Homofascist lobby going after the Boy Scouts for not allowing gays to be scout leaders? They don’t seem to have any problem with teh Mooozlimz!1!1!!1! -- and they want to kill gay people! The Boy Scouts don’t want to kill gay people ... at least I don’t think they do. Homofascists are such poopy-heads.

Richard Evans. NAMBLA. NAMBLA. NAMBLA. Stormfront. NAMBLA.

Uh oh ... Calgary blogger, wingnut, failed politician and white supremacist Richard Evans is once again unleashing his inner pedophile:

The individual who calls himself "canadiancynic" seems to like the idea that 45 year old men should be legally allowed to have sex with 14 year old boys. As such, it’s only fitting that the “canadiancynic” brand be associated with the North American Man Boy Love Association. Don’t be pissed at me because I made the connection. If it were a false connection, "canadiancynic" would step up and defend himself in a court of law. But he hasn't. And he won't.

If anything you should be pissed at him for putting you in a position where you have to either decry or defend his apparent support of pedophilia…

You're about to be redirected to the NAMBLA website...

So, if you're new here, let me summarize:

• Completely independent of me, Richard Evans registered the look-alike domain name "canadiancynic.net",


• Completely independent of me, Richard Evans wrote the text of the redirection page as you can read above, and


• Completely independent of me, Richard Evans arranged for the automatic redirection of his web page to the home page of NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association.


• Therefore, according to Richard Evans, I am somehow a fan of NAMBLA. Yeah, go figure. I don't get it, either.

In any event, it's probably dicey to explicitly accuse Evans of being a rancid pedophile who enjoys promoting NAMBLA via redirections from his own web sites so, in order to protect myself legally, I'll use Richard's own weaselly backtracking and suggest that he only seems to be obsessed with sex with children. I mean, I could be wrong but when someone is that fixated, well, you just have to wonder, don't you?

And the idea that someone at Calgary Social Services might want to check in on the well-being of Richard's kids, Courtney and Tyler, at 107 Beddington Cres. NE? I'd never come right out and recommend it but, hey, better safe than sorry, know what I mean? I mean, when someone is that pathologically obsessed with child sex, well, it's all about the kids, right?

LET'S BE CLEAR HERE, OK? I don't enjoy dragging Dick's kids into this. Not even a little bit. Truth be told, I feel intensely sorry for them. But if Dick wants to make this personal and sling around utterly unfounded accusations of pedophilia and diminish my brand by registering look-alike domain names and associating them with NAMBLA, then it's safe to say that he (and his mouth-breathing groupies) have absolutely no moral high ground from which to make snarky comments.

So here's the deal -- as long as Dick insists on redirecting that look-alike domain to NAMBLA, I will continue to post increasingly personal information about his family. See how that works? In short, what happens from here on out is entirely in Dick's hands. All that remains to be seen is whether it's more important for Dick to protect his family's privacy, or for him to score points being an irresponsible dipshit.

Decisions, decisions, eh, Dick? Your move.

LET'S MAKE SOMETHING ELSE CLEAR: As hard as it might be to believe, the NAMBLA-obsessed Dick Evans has explicitly declared open season on his own family. I refer you here:

So here's the deal -- as long as Dick insists on redirecting that look-alike domain to NAMBLA, I will continue to post increasingly personal information about his family. See how that works? In short, what happens from here on out is entirely in Dick's hands. All that remains to be seen is whether it's more important for Dick to protect his family's privacy, or for him to score points being an irresponsible dipshit.

The domain stays up...

Do your best CC...

Now, do you understand what Dick wrote there? What Dick wrote is that he accepts the terms I proposed and that he's perfectly satisfied with having his family's privacy violated just so that he can continue making utterly unsubstantiated accusations against me.

Make sure you understand that because, at this point, I'm going to simply delete any further comments accusing me of classlessness, for the obvious reason that Dick is clearly all right with this behaviour.

Oh, and we're not quite done here, but it's going to take a day or so for me to put my new strategy into operation, so you'll just have to be patient. In the meantime, if you're offended by my going after Dick's kids, well, I just don't give a fuck. Take it up with Dick -- he's the one who signed off on it.

Social Networking As Political Tool.

I suppose you've heard of Bill C-484. Mr. Epps desperate ruse to dig a trench under the rights of women to bodily self determination and undermine abortion rights. Well, if you are a member of Facebook you can use the online social network to join other Canadians in Opposition To Bill C-484.

The enormous number of people who joined Facebook groups, both regional and national, in opposition to Minister Prentice's proposed copyright sell-off certainly helped daunt the minister.

There are over five hundred people united in opposition to Bill C-484 on Facebook. Add your voice to the chorus.

Yes, we rock. What's it to you?

How amusing. After all, it's not like we here at CC HQ go out of our way to cover politics so much as we go out of our way to cover the burning, right-wing stupid. But, what the hell, we'll take it.

I'm personally amused that we manage (by whatever brain-damaged metric is being used) to outrank Stephen Taylor, Garth Turner, Warren Kinsella and (most critically) the collection of vapid, deranged yahoos over at Joel Johannesen's "Proud to be Retarded Dumbfucks."

Every little victory and all that. Yee ha.

Yeah, about that Blogging Tory "forced sterilization" thingy ...

... is it too late to give it some serious thought?

I got your crazy right here.

While the Huckster might be the odds-on favourite to win the latest version of “Who’s the Wackiest Republican?”, he’s downright sane when compared to teh President. Via ThinkProgress:

Speaking before the Republican Governors Association yesterday, President Bush took a moment to predict the future, claiming Americans will ultimately be thankful for his foreign policy decisions:

I believe 50 years from now, people will look back at this period of time, and say, thank God the United States of America did not lose its faith in the transformative power of liberty to bring the peace we want for our children and our grandchildren.

And I believe that 50 years from now, people will still be wondering how a man this catastrophically stupid managed to win not one, but two presidential elections. Comments section now open for your favourite conspiracy theories.

Have I mentioned how much I love this guy?

Imagine my delight when I found out that the Huckster is still in the race and, more importantly, making with the crazy as only he can.

Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee on Monday endorsed a proposed Colorado Human Life Amendment that would define personhood as a fertilized egg. The former Arkansas governor and Baptist minister also supports a human-life amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

Huckabee spoke favorably about the Colorado ballot initiative, sponsored by 20-year-old Kristi Burton and her Colorado for Equal Rights group, during his Friday visit to Colorado Springs. On Monday, Huckabee lent official support to the measure.

"This proposed constitutional amendment will define a person as a human being from the moment life begins at conception," Huckabee said in a statement. "With this amendment, Colorado has an opportunity to send a clear message that every human life has value," Huckabee said. "Passing this amendment will mean the people of Colorado will protect the sanctity of life from conception until natural death occurs."

Burton's initiative, if approved by voters in November, would extend state constitutional protections to every fertilized egg, guaranteeing the right to life, liberty, equality of justice and due process of law. Approval would lay the foundation for making abortion illegal in the state.

Mike Huckabee, boys and girls, 10 pounds of anti-choice, holy roller, wingnut stupid in a 5 pound bag.

The stupid! It burns!

I'm sure someone has already dissected this incomparably idiotic bit of douchebaggery but recall how Canada's Most Assholerific Blogger™ made fun of wind turbines for the obvious reason that ... well, actually, no one's quite sure where she was going with that, as commenter "atheist quebecois separatiste" suggests:

I wonder what Kate is trying to prove here?

I can show a video of people dying while riding a motorcycle. Happen all the time.

Technology fail all the time. We improve it and we continue to use it.

Trial and error toward better reliability.

Now, before we go any further, what point do you think commenter AQS is making? See, because I'm not a mouth-breathing, drooling, Blogging Tory retard, my guess would be that he's simply saying that all technology might have its flaws or bad design, and that we deal with it and move on. Just a wild guess, but that's sort of where I figure AQS was going.

And Kate? What does Kate think his point is? Truly, you're not going to believe Kate's snappy comeback. No, really:

"I can show a video of people dying while riding a motorcycle."

Nobody's proposing we replace coal generated power plants with motorcycles.

I'm embarrassed to have to point that out to you...

Pause

Long pause.

Really, really long pause.

That's right -- Kate interprets AQS's comment as suggesting we replace coal-fired generating plants with motorcycles. Truly, a watershed moment in Blogging Tory inanity.

I'd ask what BT co-founder Stephen Taylor thought of this but, seriously, does anyone give a fuck what he thinks anymore?

Blogging Tories Short Takes, Feb 27, 2008.

Shorter the blog quebecois: "Speaking as a Canadian conservative who holds all human life to be precious and sacred and who whinges on constantly about the God-given value of children, fuck that kid and I hope he rots in hell."

Shorter Kate McMillan: "Here's a story that has nothing to do with Canada, global warming, the budget, Saskatchewan, horrible brown people, making fun of dead Jews or anything of any newsworthiness or interest to Canadians whatsoever. Enjoy."

Shorter Brian Lemon: "How dare -- I said, how dare -- the mainstream media screw up their hyperlinks!?!?" Um ... apologize for this indescribable fuckup? I don't think so."

Shorter Ezra Levant: "It's heartwarming to know that there are brave and honourable Canadians who are willing to put their lives on the line just to defend my freedom to be a total douchebag."

Shorter Joanne: "Please don't use the word 'obsessed.' I prefer the phrase 'pathologically fixated.'"

Shorter "Hunter": "Yes, I'm a drooling retard. Deal with it."

Say It Ain't So, Reverend!?!

Stephen Harper and Stockwell Day, manly, shaven oil wrestling!

Shorter Better-than-Ezra:

I’m being sued yet again by some deranged, left-wing moonbat who’s got his panties in a bunch over something I said or did that may or may not have been offensive. I’m now going to pontificate ad nauseum about why I’m right and he’s wrong so get comfy.

Because that's just the way we roll.

Eh ... we here at CC HQ can afford to be generous. Besides, don't you just hate to see a Reverend whine?

There’s this nifty new thing called teh Google …

Canada’s Best Blogger™, having exhausted her supply of Holocaust jokes, attempts to once again score cheap points against the great Global Warming Conspiracy. Unfortunately, in her oh-so-pathetic effort to be witty, she somehow confuses the term Gaia with Giai.

And when I say somehow, I actually mean big fucking surprise that KKKate is both lazy and stupid.

The Blogging Tories: Because they're stupid, that's why.

Clearly put out because the BT's dr. roy has been getting all the attention as the benchmark against which all jaw-dropping retardedness shall be measured, Blogging Tory "Hunter" is determined to make a case for herself as the new standard-bearer:

In the matter of life and death, the family should rule

Yeah ... um ... but when it comes to that infamous Terri Schiavo case, Hunter? Whoops, suddenly, the rules change, don't they?

Terri’s case should not be confused with legitimate end-of-life cases in which patients are terminally ill and imminently dying. As already stated, Terri was neither ill nor dying.

Was Terri in a Persistent Vegetative State?

No. Despite Judge Greer’s ruling, and in keeping with the 40 medical affidavits submitted to the court, all evidence proves that Terri was not in a PVS. Terri’s behavior and ability to interact with her surroundings did not meet the medical or statutory definition of persistent vegetative state.

Did the autopsy prove that Terri was in a Persistent Vegetative State?

No. The autopsy was unable to determine whether or not Terri was actually in a persistent vegetative state. In fact, on three separate occasions, the report stated that an autopsy is unable to determine if a person is in a persistent vegetative state because the person must be alive in order to make such a diagnosis. The autopsy did prove that that, prior to Terri's death, she was physically healthy and would have lived a long life had she not been dehydrated over a period of two weeks.

Really? Ya think?

Schiavo autopsy shows irreversible brain damage
Parents who fought feeding tube removal to consider legal options

LARGO, Fla. - An autopsy on Terri Schiavo backed her husband’s contention that she was in a persistent vegetative state, finding that she had massive and irreversible brain damage and was blind, the medical examiner’s office said Wednesday. It also found no evidence that she was strangled or otherwise abused.

Oooooooh ... that has to be inconvenient. But perhaps the most delightful hypocrisy is Hunter's inane screeching about how "it should be up to the family, not the doctors when life support should end." And yet, while retarded whackjobs like Hunter were rending their hairshirts over Terri Schiavo, there was another case that was making some headlines as well. Some of you might remember the case of one Sun Hudson:

March 16, 2005
Life-Support Stopped for 6-Month-Old in Houston

Yesterday Sun Hudson, the nearly 6-month-old at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston, diagnosed and slowly dying with a rare form of dwarfism (thanatophoric dysplasia), was taken off the ventilator that was keeping him alive. A Houston court authorized the hospital's action, and Sun died shortly thereafter. Today's Houston Chronicle and Dallas Morning News have most of the details.

Both papers report that this is the first time in the United States a court has allowed life-sustaining treatment to be withdrawn from a pediatric patient over the objections of the child's parent.

Yes, you read that correctly -- the doctors discontinued life support for Hudson over the objections of his mother. And, as you can expect, the Blogging Tories, being the internally consistent and compassionate conservatives they are, were positively outraged.

Psyche.

So here's a suggestion, "Hunter" -- why don't you shut the fuck up and put a sock in it? The day you and your BT colleagues start giving a shit about people who aren't chic and white and ever so trendy is the day you'll have a right to have an opinion on the topic.

Are we good here? Yeah, I think we're good here.

Bill C-484: I'm so confused.

If I may be so bold as to follow up on LuLu's post, the more I read the basis of Bill C-484, the more legally indefensible it gets. Ignore the fact that the actual text blatantly disagrees with the current Criminal Code of Canada, which is going to cause all kinds of hilarity in the courtroom. No, let's concentrate on the following:

This enactment amends the Criminal Code by making it an offence to injure, cause the death of or attempt to cause the death of a child before or during its birth while committing or attempting to commit an offence against the mother.

Where to even begin? Well, let's start with the obvious question -- what is it that is being made illegal? Ignoring the lesser alleged crime of "attempting" to cause the death of a fetus, let's concentrate on the clearly more serious crime of actually causing the death, shall we? So, once again, we ask, what is being made illegal here?

One might think that it's the actual "killing" of the fetus, but that would be clearly incorrect since, if that was the crime, then abortion itself would have just been criminalized. And since that's not how this is being presented, clearly that isn't the crime. So what is?

Ah, upon closer reading, it is clearly the act of killing the fetus "while committing or attempting to commit an offence against the mother." There's the critical aspect of it -- that the killing happened during the commission of an offence against the mother. So the killing itself isn't the issue -- it's the fact that it happened in a particular context. But that's still going to cause all sorts of legal ambiguity.

Let's say, theoretically, that I could cause the death of a fetus without inflicting any injury of any kind on the mother. Technically, then, I would have committed no "offense" against the mother. Ergo, I'm in the clear -- that much should be obvious from the careful wording of the bill. But the weirdness doesn't end there.

Why should the killing of a fetus be context dependent? Let's say there are two people who both, explicitly and deliberately, set out to kill the fetus of a pregnant woman, and they both succeed. Why should they be treated differently under the law? Since that's exactly what would happen if one of the two was, say, a mugger and the other was an abortion provider. They would be "guilty" of precisely the same "crime," and yet one would be criminally liable and the other would not. How thoroughly confusing.

I'm sure, with a little thought, it would get even stranger, but I believe that's enough to demonstrate just how absurd and self-contradictory this proposed legislation is. We have it proposed that it is now a crime to "kill" someone that, under the Criminal Code of Canada, it is most emphatically not a crime to kill, but it is only a "crime" in a specific context and, in fact, it isn't technically a "crime" at all outside of that context.

Oh, yeah, this is going to be amusing.

One body, one person, one count.

Ken Epps’ oh-so-preciously named “Unborn Victims of Crime Act” aka Bill C-484 is slated for vote in the House of Commons on February 29th – this coming Friday. And as already said, this girl is not gonna stand for it. In the words of Mal Reynolds, I aim to misbehave.

Because despite his warm, fuzzy, paternalistic “I just want to protect pregnant women” comments, Mr. Epps’ bill is nothing but a back door attempt to recriminalize abortion by granting personhood to a fetus.

3. The Act is amended by adding the following after section 238:
238.1 (1) Every person who, directly or indirectly, causes the death of a child during birth or at any stage of development before birth while committing or attempting to commit an offence against the mother of the child, who the person knows or ought to know is pregnant,
(a) is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for life and to a minimum punishment of imprisonment for a term of 10 years if the person
(i) means to cause the child’s death, or
(ii) means to cause injury to the child or mother that the person knows is likely to cause the child’s death, and is reckless as to whether death ensues or not;

The fact that a fetus is not considered a child under Canadian law until it exits the mother’s birth canal seems to be completely irrelevant to Mr. Epps as shown in Sub-Section (5):

(5) It is not a defence to a charge under this section that the child is not a human being.

After reading his entire piece of anti-choice legislation, I have one simple question for Mr. Epps: Why?

Why is it that a murdered woman only gets local news coverage but a murdered pregnant woman gets the national and cable news channels humping the story? Why is her death somehow more horrifying only because of the fetus she carries? Why is her life only worth so much outrage to people like him but the so-called “murder” of her fetus is worth exponentially more? Who decides these weights and measures and where and when to apply them?

When, exactly, did a woman become only the contents of her womb? She is a fully formed life, a person who is known and loved by those around her. When this woman dies violently, long before her time, she’s missed for who she was and who she could be ... not for the fetus she carries. Why isn’t that important enough? Why aren’t women important enough? Answer me that, you anti-choice misogynist.

I dare you.

And furthermore. A perfect pictorial representation of how the average Conservative views women.


Hat tip to XKCD.

I’d like to thank the Academy …

Feh. I scoff at your Academy Awards. This is sooooooo much cooler.

I want to thank everyone who voted for me – how sweet are you – and Pale and Prole for putting together such a kick-ass set of awards. You have every right to be exceptionally proud of your-own-bad-selves.

Most of all, I want to thank CC and PSA for inviting, and more importantly, welcoming me into their blogging sand box. To say I was shocked at the invite doesn’t even begin to describe my reaction. You’ve been nothing but supportive while I found my voice (and broke Blogger that first weekend) and I have such infinite respect for you both. How lucky am I?

Kisses to everyone,
LuLu

... and the intellectual meltdown of Kathy Shaidle is finally complete.

Yes, it's happened -- poor Kathy has finally just plain dissolved under the weight of all that rancid racism:

"So it took 60 years to find the Amber Room..."

"and we’re supposed to have found WMD in the desert in, whaa?, twenny-minutes?"

Really? Is that what was "supposed" to have happened? That's funny, Kathy, since, as I recall, the same people who claimed there were WMDs were the same ones who assured us that they knew exactly where they were. Until they decided afterwards that they didn't know where they were after all.

Historical revisionism: it's not just for children anymore.

Stupid always finds its own level, doesn't it?

Over at SDA, "Canada's Best Blogger" passes the baton to Jason Apuzzo's Liberty Film Festival for the evening histrionics. Um, that would be this Jason Apuzzo.

Yes, apparently Jason knows as much about movies as Kate does about climate change. Not that that should surprise anyone.

Well, then, it's pretty much inarguable, isn't it?

Apparently, liberalism is a "mental disorder." That's what it says at Blogging Tory "Civitatensis," who quotes World Net Daily and gives a hat tip to Tom Cerber at The Politic. I'd say that makes it pretty much a lock, wouldn't you?

In other news, The Politic's Matthew is still responding to thoughtful, substantiated criticism by lying on his back, kicking and screaming and threatening to hold his breath, but I'm sure you're not supposed to read anything into that.

BY THE WAY, just in case you'd forgotten ...

Awright. Enough With The Nice.

I'm naming this little fella Raph, in honour of my favourite self impressed twat that isn't Stephen Harper.

500,000

Well then, along with congratulations to LuLu for her snarktacular win, I will now extend my congratulations to CC. This blog was one of my must read sites for quite a while. I must say that I was flattered and thrilled to be invited to contribute to Canadian Cynic. CC's generosity has allowed me to reach a far greater audience than I would ever have seen under my own power and through this venue I've made a quite a few friends and a few half decent sparring partners. With the addition of LuLu, this site has matured into a group blog and I've come to cherish the level of hilarity that often populates our comments section. Thank you CC and congratulations. Thanks to all of the readers, commenters and even the twisted reprobates of the Blogging Tories for providing such a target rich environment.

Here's to the next half million hits.

Ahem, LuLu...

I went and got something for you.



And while I was at it I picked up a little something for myself.

The Only Awards That Matter Tonight!

The Canadian F-Word Blog Awards!

The votes have been counted and the results are in. I'll do a more complete rundown later but to see the winners and a couple of special surprises, courtesy of the amazing A Creative Revolution team, you'll have to click the link. But for now, let me just say congratulations to all of the winners, all of the nominees and thanks much to Prole and pale for conducting these awards with style and true class.

Oh. And an especially big congratulations to our very own LuLu! Not only has LuLu made this humble (hah!) blog a better place, she has made the entire snarkosphere a better place. Congratulations to the fabulous LuLu, you make me so proud!

And, logically speaking, trout live in trees.

Shockingly, the Blogging Tories' dr. roy demonstrates the indisputable connection between abortion and suicidal depression:

This is so very sad. Abortion can lead to profound depression and psychological difficulties. The death cult feminists want to to deny all this , but the evidence is there for them to see.

In totally unrelated news, a member of Canada's military took his own life in Afghanistan in August of 2007. Without exception, the Blogging Tories seemed utterly baffled and unwilling to express any opinions on that tragic incident.

AFTERSNARK: I'm intrigued that no one seems to have picked up on this logical oddity:

Her suicide note read: "I told everyone I didn't want to do it, even at the hospital."

So ... they forced her to have an abortion against her will? Really? This woman explicitly told everyone involved that she didn't want to go ahead with the procedure and they insisted on doing it anyway?

Does anyone actually believe that? One wonders how much more about this story doesn't hang together.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Heh. Indeed.

Getting Things Done Up Canadians

Who doesn't love that undersea rascal Spongebob Squarepants? Now you can welcome Spongebob into your home as a part of your personal health care equipment. Introducing the Spongebob rectal thermometer! When the little ones aren't feeling well, it can be very difficult to get them to cooperate with necessary treatment measures. Their innocent trust of a beloved cartoon friend can help ease the situation, they've opened their little hearts to Spongebob and now you can use him to open their, um...

Guaranteed to probably not turn your little fella ghey. Even takes accurate temperature measures of conservative kiddies!



Is there a Falwell in your life? Does the paranoid fear of an innocent cartoon cripple your already challenged neuronal pathways? Fear not conservative consumers, the free market is looking out for you too! Now, for the very first time anywhere, the fabulous Stevemometer! What could be more comforting than the very not gay face of Canada's new Prime Minister peering out of your arse whilst accurately and calmly assessing the truth of your rectal warming? He's had his head up his own ass for ages, now it's time he stuck his head up yours!

Step over that line. OK, well step over that line ... Yeah, well ...

Throwing down the remote control and joystick from "Street Fighter III: Kick some virtual ass," the Blogging Tories' "Neo Conservative" once again launches into a furious online salvo against distant, swarthy people:

Have a little backbone, Mahmoud you big brute... let's see what you've got.

At which point, Neo wandered off in search of a new bag of Cheetos while his commenters were still trying to explain to him the concept of "irony."

POOR NEO ... PUNK'D AGAIN: Like many of the other intellectually-handicapped members of the Retard-o-sphere, Neo swallows whole yet another example of contrived, right-wing outrage and misrepresentation:

RELATED: Liar, liar

OBAMA: You know, I’ve heard from an Army captain who was the head of a rifle platoon — supposed to have 39 men in a rifle platoon. Ended up being sent to Afghanistan with 24 because 15 of those soldiers had been sent to Iraq.

Yeah, sure... that could happen, huh?

Just to be sure though... let's ask an actual soldier...

He is either so full of it or he’s not smart enough to question a bogus story. I was a Captain in the USMC and a combat vet.

First off, Captains are not in charge of “platoons”, Lieutenants are. Captains are in command of a Company. Three platoons make up a company.

Secondly, I have no idea how a unit that size would be “chopped” and redirected to another country while sending another part to a different country. Personnel are not commodities in the way he refers to them.

(h/t ffof)

Yes, Neo, let's ask "an actual soldier" about whether that could theoretically happen. Or, hey, here's a better idea -- let's ask the captain in question:

I called the Obama campaign this morning to chat about this story, and was put in touch with the Army captain in question.

He told me his story, which I found quite credible, though for obvious reasons he asked that I not mention his name or certain identifying information.

Short answer: He backs up Obama's story.

And about that captain versus lieutenant thing? Oh, look:

Prior to deployment the Captain -- then a Lieutenant -- took command of a rifle platoon at Fort Drum.

Well, gollee, Neo, how about that? At the time, the man was a lieutenant, so it all makes sense, doesn't it? Ooooh, that has to be embarrassing. Well, it would be if Neo had any shame.

Or any fucking sense whatsoever.

P.S. Hey, I know -- if someone wants to point out to Neo how he got hoodwinked by other stupid, dishonest people, we can see if he actually wants to participate in "civil discourse" and issue the obvious retraction. Or whether, well, you know ...

Personally, I'm going with the "you know."

HOW CURIOUS ... while Neo is usually quick off the mark to note my linking, he hasn't got around this this last one yet. One wonders why ... perhaps he's trying to think of a subtle way to not address his obvious dumbfuckitude. One could always hope.

HAHAHAHAHA!! Yeah, that'll happen.

Filthy Oil

Treehugger has this nifty map posted, courtesy of the Commission for Environmental Cooperation, a trilateral body established concurrently with NAFTA. The pretty picture shows some 34,000 industrial sites that reported the "release or transfer of pollutants in 2004". Looks kind of like a bad rash.



I don't suppose the nearly complete blanketing of Alberta would be related to the information in this report from Environmental Defence. Go have a look at the report and try to guess why the Conservative government is so eager to put off any sort of environmental protection or limits. Here are a few snippets from the report:

"The Tar Sands are now the biggest capital project anywhere on Earth and the biggest energy undertaking anywhere. Already, Canada is the largest foreign supplier of US oil.
With the Tar Sands, Canada has become the world’s dirty energy superpower."

"In the muted language of experts, independent scientists are scornful of the monitoring programs: “As typical of previous RAMP reports, changes in methods and means of reporting undermine the utility of the results... The result is the appearance of monitoring and management of environmental concerns in the public interest. The reality is a lack of timely publicly available information and the perpetuation of business as usual,” says Dr. Kevin Timoney following a review.
Dr. Peter Hodson of Queen’s University, a specialist in the toxic impacts of oil on aquatic ecosystems, concurs: "If you read the actual monitoring reports that have been published since 2001 ... they are pretty fractured, they are very, very difficult to read, very difficult to understand what people have actually done and what they've actually found. And so I think ... you’d be hard pressed to say the current monitoring effort is sufficient to answer the questions that have been raised.”
Downstream First Nations are more blunt. The Mikisew Cree and Athabasca Chipewyan have pulled out of the industry-driven process. “[It’s] a parking lot where everything, all the major issues, are placed. Meanwhile, approvals [for new Tar Sands projects] are given," says Mikisew spokesperson Sherwin Sheh."

"There is no monitoring at all of the toxic chemicals travelling through groundwater. This, despite the fact that, as Canada’s National Energy Board has said, groundwater is the most obvious pathway for Tar Sands poisons to travel throughout the environment and into the major waterways."

"Consider the liabilities cost to the taxpayer just of the relatively small Sydney Tar Ponds, in which 31 hectares were poisoned by 700,000 metric tonnes of contaminated sediments. Government recently committed $400 million in taxpayers’ dollars to a cleanup. Contrast these 31 hectares with Canada’s Tar Sands where the tailings ponds alone already cover more than 5,000 hectares and grow with every passing moment."

And this detailed report, with stunning images of devastation, goes on for some 26 pages. Absolutely fucking disgusting and a crime against Canada's people, our land, water and air. A crime that will seep throughout the environment both here and abroad, spreading toxins and sowing disease. There is nearly no way to mitigate this devastation considering the monstrous scale. Exxon salutes you Prime Minister Harper, Minister Baird and all the representatives of the petrodollar currently squatting in our house of Parliament. The true north stained by greed.

Are Your Pets Conservatives?

Do they pretend to have strict values? And then you catch them like this...



Are they smug, self-righteous and condescending? Even after they get caught like this!



The perfidious perversions of pets and their plural peccadilloes point plainly to the dirty double life of the typical conservative. Watch out sailor, no shin is safe with these moralizing fuckers about. Guard your undies gals, what they don't eat, these dogs will wear like satin hats.

Best Friends Forever!

"Nobody understands me like you Cthulhu. You're the best."

"I love you too, little LuLu. Soon we'll make them grovel and worship at our feet."

"Pfff. Not a problem Cthulhu. They already clamour to worship my boots."

Apparently, honesty is hard werk.

And in the true spirit of pathologically lying douches everywhere, the Blogging Tories' "Neo Conservative" very, very carefully reproduces a snippet of bloggy goodness from yours truly.

Yes, that's Neo, all right, posting an image of the title of an old post of mine ("Yeah ... six more dead soldiers ... whatever"), ostensibly to prove how I don't give a sh*t about dead Canadian soldiers. It's curious, though, why Neo simply reproduces an image of the title of that post, rather than linking to the post directly.

At least, it would be curious until you take the time to read the post itself, where it becomes clear that the post is, in fact, sarcasm directed at one of Neo's own Blogging Tory bedmates. At which point you can see why he carefully didn't supply said link, as it would have made him look like the brain-damaged goober that he is.

Again.

P.S. You have to love Neo's faux machismo in the very second comment at that blog post of his:

lemme see... jack bin-layton wants to drop troops into the hellhole that is darfur... steffi wants to invade pakistan and duceppe just wanders around in circles muttering gibberish.

i say we go with harper and hillier and continue to give the taliban their daily ass-kicking.

Yes, Neo, you are truly the ass-kicking, Blogging Tory stud of fear. I'm sure the Taliban wake up shaking nightly in a cold sweat, just thinking about your next Improvised Explosive Blog Post. If Canada only had another 500 Neos, why, we'd have ... uh ... well, another 500 militarily useless, brain-damaged goobers.

Except that we call them "Blogging Tories." It just saves time.

F-Word Final Voting Is Open

The first evah F-Word Blog Awards final voting is now officially underway. There are some superb blogs to consider so, please do go, snoop about and pick your faves. Then vote. I'll mention that I'm in the running for Support Bro (as in pro-feminist fella type blogger) but I won't be at all surprised or unhappy to be congratulating Dave from the Galloping Beaver or mattt from bastard.logic or Chet from the Vanity Press. Excellent folks all.

Oh. And a big round of applause for Pale and prole. They sure as hell deserve it. Three cheers to A Creative Revolution!

UPDATE: You can go and vote here.

Shorter Five Feet of Crazy™.

I’m a howling, racist homophobe who suffers from the delusion that I’m really a snarky, smartass blogger. But then you already knew that.

P.S. Buy my book or teh Gheyzzzz will get you.

And in science news today, fuck you.

Astonishingly, "Canada's Best Blogger" takes a break from making fun of blacks, natives, gays or dead Jews to report on some interesting medical developments:

An international team of researchers have reported that differences between discordant monozygotic twins - where one twin has a genetic disorder and the other does not - are probably due to copy number variations.

The researchers studied 19 pairs of monozygotic twins and found differences in copy number variations in DNA. Copy number variations (CNVs) occur when a set of coding letters in DNA are missing, or when extra copies of segments of DNA are produced.

[...]

"This could have a major impact on our understanding of genetically determined disorders."

"By uncovering these small genetic differences in identical twins where one of them is sick, we have a way of tying specific genetic changes to the genesis of common diseases," Bruder said.

Discordant twins are an interesting area of study as one twin might develop a particular disease such as Parkinson's while the other does not. Previously, it was thought that environmental factors were the likely culprits, not genetics.

Not to be outdone, Kate's first commenter weighs in with some thoughtful, related observations of his own:

The theory that a result is more likely genetic than environmental is obvious when you consider the cushy up-bringing, educational opportunities and other advantages that so many Liberals experience in Canada, yet so many of them are still retarded, illogical, weak-spirited, dependent, unappreciative, small-minded, petty, arrogant fools who make the lives of millions a daily frustration.

Such flawed individuals can only be due to bad genetics. It's nearly impossible to learn to be such a waste of skin.

Posted by: John West at February 22, 2008 11:23 AM

Join us tomorrow when Kate reports on the discovery of a new Mersenne prime number, to which commenter John West will respond that that just proves how Canada's leftists are a bunch of socialist perverts who hate the troops.

And by "us," I mean not "me."

In what is becoming a predictable ritual, Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative" is all about kicking some raghead ass, as long as that kicking doesn't involve his actual foot:

And enough of that peacekeeping argle-bargle... let's take it to these jihadi donkeyheads.

Normally, Neo would be glad to help, but there's that trick knee of his. College football. If it weren't for that, you know ...

So, Kate ... how's that "handover" going?

Hey, kids ... remember when "Canada's Best Blogger" was getting moist over all that ducky progress in Iraq?

June 2, 2007
Pershmergrrrls

ARBIL, Iraq (AFP) - In a blaze of pomp showcasing Kurdish military muscle, US forces handed over responsibility for security in Iraq's three northern provinces to the Kurdish regional government on Wednesday [...]

The handover was followed by a parade of Kurdish soldiers, including an all-female martial arts display.

Via Gateway Pundit;

7 of 18 Iraqi Provinces now control the security and governmental operations in their region.

How many Americans do you suppose know that?

Posted by Kate at June 2, 2007 7:50 AM

Yeah, those were good times, weren't they? So ... how's all that security and stabilization going these days, Kate? Uh oh ...

Turkey launches ground incursion into Iraq, escalating conflict with Kurd rebels

ISTANBUL, Turkey - Turkish troops launched a ground incursion across the border into Iraq in pursuit of separatist Kurdish rebels, the military said Friday - a move that dramatically escalates Turkey's conflict with the militants.

It is the first confirmed ground operation by the Turkish military into Iraq since the U.S.-led invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein. It also raised concerns that it could trigger a wider conflict with the U.S.-backed Iraqi Kurds, despite Turkey's assurances that its only target was the Kurdistan Workers' party, or PKK.

Yeah, that's not quite what Canada's wingnuts had in mind, was it? Although, to be fair, no one could have expected this recent development. I mean, come on, who could possibly have had the foresight and prescience to worry about just this sort of thing happening?

Who indeed?

And, just so you know, yes, it is a burden being right about absolutely everything absolutely all of the time. But I'm getting used to it.

Your move, Kate.

Well, this is just great.

It seems Big Daddy’s insidious plan to get rid of all that complicated sciencey-type stuff is working.

One of the world's leading scientific journals has criticized the Conservative government's "manifest disregard for science" in Canada. The comments were published Thursday in the British journal Nature.

"Science has long faced an uphill battle for recognition in Canada, but the slope became steeper when the Conservative government was elected in 2006," the journal said in an editorial titled "Science in Retreat."

The editorial blasts the government's decision to close the office of national science advisor, a move confirmed last month by Industry Canada. The office offers advice on global science and technology issues and how government can better fund and support Canadian science.

"Concerns can only be enhanced by the government’s manifest disregard for science," says the journal.

"Since Prime Minister Stephen Harper came to power, his government has been skeptical of the science on climate change and has backed away from Canada’s Kyoto commitment.

Canada’s New Government™, boys and girls, winning the race to the bottom for two whole years.

Ooopsie.

What’s KKKate going to do with all her nifty pictures of thermometers and temperature graphs now?

The supposed "global cooling" consensus among scientists in the 1970s — frequently offered by global-warming skeptics as proof that climatologists can't make up their minds — is a myth, according to a survey of the scientific literature of the era.
The '70s was an unusually cold decade. Newsweek, Time, The New York Times and National Geographic published articles at the time speculating on the causes of the unusual cold and about the possibility of a new ice age.

The Times and National Geographic? Oh, please. Everyone who’s anyone knows they’re just elitist Islamocommiehomonazifascist global warming humpers.

But Thomas Peterson of the National Climatic Data Center surveyed dozens of peer-reviewed scientific articles from 1965 to 1979 and found that only seven supported global cooling, while 44 predicted warming. Peterson says 20 others were neutral in their assessments of climate trends.

Details, details … look at my satellite pictures of the Arctic ice mass. What do you mean this proves that the ice is shrinking?

The study reports, "There was no scientific consensus in the 1970s that the Earth was headed into an imminent ice age."

"A review of the literature suggests that, to the contrary, greenhouse warming even then dominated scientists' thinking about the most important forces shaping Earth's climate on human time scales."

But it seems not everyone is in agreement about the debunking of the debunkers.

Some have doubts about the new survey. "The paper does not place the late '70s in its climatic context," says Pat Michaels, a senior fellow in environmental studies at the Cato Institute in Washington, D.C.

"The temperature records we had at the time showed a very sharp cooling from the mid-'40s to the mid-'70s," Michaels says. "And scientists attempted to explain that as a consequence of the pollution that was preventing solar radiation from reaching the surface.

"At the time, scientists thought the cooling effect of pollution was greater than the warming effect of carbon dioxide," Michaels adds. "They were attempting to explain the dramatic cooling of the '70s."

Right. And shame on you for thinking the Cato Institute might have an agenda here. After all, it’s not like their mission statement says something like this:

The Cato Institute seeks to broaden the parameters of public policy debate to allow consideration of the traditional American principles of limited government, individual liberty, free markets and peace. Toward that goal, the Institute strives to achieve greater involvement of the intelligent, concerned lay public in questions of policy and the proper role of government.

Hmmmm. Well, it’s not like the Exxon Secrets web site which “documents Exxon-Mobil's funding of climate change skeptics” has a fact sheet for Cato.

The Cato Institute, a libertarian think tank based in Washington DC, was founded in 1977 by Edward Crane and Charles Koch, the billionaire co-owner of Koch Industries, the largest privately held oil company in the U.S.

The Cato Institute holds regular briefings on global warming with known climate 'skeptics' as panelists. In December 2003, panelists included Patrick Michaels, Robert Balling and John Christy, all of whom believe that the current scientific understanding of climate change is inconclusive. Cato held similar briefings on climate change in Washington in July 2003 and 2002. (C. Coon, & Erin. Hymel (2003) Sound Policy for the Energy Bill, Heritage Foundation Reports, 23 September. ) According to People for the American Way, Cato has been funded by: Philip Morris, R.J. Reynolds, Bell Atlantic Network Services, BellSouth Corporation, Digital Equipment Corporation, GTE Corporation, Microsoft Corp- oration, Netscape Communications Corporation, NYNEX Corporation, Sun Microsystems, Viacom International, American Express, Chase Manhattan Bank, Chemical Bank, Citicorp/Citibank, Commonwealth Fund, Prudential Securities and Salomon Brothers. Energy conglomerates include: Chevron Companies, Exxon Company, Shell Oil Company and Tenneco Gas, as well as the American Petroleum Institute, Amoco Foundation and Atlantic Richfield Foundation. Cato's pharmaceutical donors include Eli Lilly & Company, Merck & Company and Pfizer, Inc. Between 1985 and 2001, the Institute received $15,718,040 in 112 grants from only ten conservative foundations: Castle Rock Foundation (reformed Coors Foundation), Charles G. Koch Charitable Foundation, Earhart Foundation, JM Foundation, John M. Olin Foundation, Inc., Claude R. Lambe Charitable Foundation, Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation, Sarah Scaife Foundation, Carthage Foundation, David H Koch Foundation.

Wait a minute ...

Good Morning Knockers!

Apparently, "democracy" is context dependent.

On the one hand:

Mr. President, can you tell us what it means for the United States that — for the U.S. policy — that Castro has said he's going to step down? And how is that going to change things for the U.S.?

... The international community should work with the Cuban people to begin to build institutions that are necessary for democracy. And eventually, this transition ought to lead to free and fair elections — and I mean free and I mean fair, not these kind of staged elections that the Castro brothers try to foist off as being true democracy.

Then again:

Exclusive: U.S. urges Pakistanis to keep Musharraf, despite election defeat

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan _The Bush administration is pressing the opposition leaders who defeated Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf to allow the former general to retain his position, a move that Western diplomats and U.S. officials say could trigger the very turmoil the United States seeks to avoid.

U.S. officials, from President Bush on down, said this week that they think Musharraf, a longtime U.S. ally, should continue to play a role, despite his party's rout in parliamentary elections Monday and his unpopularity in the volatile, nuclear-armed nation.

That's all you get. I'm not wasting a good punchline on that one.