Saturday, March 22, 2008

Dear Five Feet of Crazy™:


This may come as a bit of a shock but I’m a little worried about you. Usually, you put just the tiniest bit more effort into hiding the fact that you’re really a drooling, barking mad, dyed-in-the-wool, racist fucktard. Lately — I don’t know — it’s like you’re not even trying anymore.

I realize that your pathological narcissism makes it nearly impossible for you to see things from anyone else’s perspective but can’t you just for once think of me and my readers? How am I supposed to entertain them with my snarkalicious wonder when you’re not even pretending you’re sane? I guess it really is all about you.

Maybe you just need someone to talk to. After all, it’s not like you haven’t availed yourself of Canada’s free socialist health care system before like the whining, me, me, me hypocrite you really are ... ooops. Was that supposed to be a secret? My bad.

P.S. And the pimpalicious cheesecake shots you keep putting up to entice and/or placate your basement-dwelling, cheeto®-stained, mouthbreathing “readers”? Kind of high on the ick factor. I’m just sayin’.

P.P.S. Look out for the scary brown people. They’re everywhere.

7 comments:

jj said...

Why doesn't her blog have comments enabled? A blog without comments is like sex without... another person.

Ti-Guy said...

I don't know...I still think that Shaidle, among all of them, is the best bet to be the first wingnut to embrace self-parody. Her shorter posts...

Another undead hippie roams the streets

Bitch.

# Kathy : 2008-03-22 09:48:02 EDT


...are a hoot and more of what I'd like to see from our wingnuts. Their longer pieces are, of course, dreary and hate-filled when they're not altogether completely loopy.

She'd better hurry, though, before far more telegenic winguts beat her to the punch. Wonder Woman's got a better rack, Wendy Sullivan looks like she might be about 7 feet tall, and Rachel Marsden is teh hawt!!

The men of course, all are uniformly hideous.

jj said...

"Another undead hippie roams the streets" and another uninteresting douchebag sits on the lumpen sack of cottage cheese she calls an ass. A little roaming the streets might do her some good.

Ti-Guy said...

I've never seen anyone so traumatised by being a former lefty. One truly does wonder what depravity she engaged in as a result of her being conned by "teh hippies?"

Since she claims to have been drunk the whole time, we'll probably never know.

E in MD said...

Another undead hippie roams the streets

# Kathy : 2008-03-22 09:48:02 EDT


What do undead hippies say?

"Braaaains. Dude."

Ti-Guy said...

What do undead hippies say?

In this case "Hey Kathy, long time no see. By the way, did you make off with my stash when you quit the collective?"

the rev. paperboy said...

"hey, don't bogart that brain, dude"