Monday, August 27, 2007

Steve walks warily down the street with the brim pulled way down low ...

Apparently, someone has decided he needs to spend more time waterboarding members of his family. Let the inevitable, weepy, crocodile tears begin.

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS: I think TPM's David Kurtz says it best:

As U.S. News' "Washington Whispers" first reported over the weekend, DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff is being floated as a possible permanent replacement for Gonzales. CNN is now reporting that Chertoff is the "likely" nominee. Considering that Chertoff presided over the Katrina disaster, his nomination as attorney general would be nothing short of unbelievable.

I think "unbelievable" is a good word here. But, really, would anything surprise you at this point?

PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE TIME: One of the names being bandied about for a replacement here is sleazy, hypocritical douchebag Orrin Hatch. The Dems should decide right now that there are certain potential candidates they simply won't even consider, and Hatch should be one of them. But how to do this without appearing like they're picking on certain people? Ooooh, that's easy.

I'm guessing that it's Patrick Leahy, as Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, who should take the microphone and announce something like the following:

Ladies and gentlemen, with the resignation of Mr. Gonzales, we expect the White House to be nominating someone fairly soon to replace him. And while we promise to give any candidate a fair and impartial hearing, we want to make clear that there is a limit to what we are prepared to accept.

Quite simply, we will, under no circumstances, even consider a candidate who has, over the last several months, been a staunch and unconditional defender of Mr. Gonzales. It would be the height of irresponsibility and sheer madness to have finally rid ourselves of Mr. Gonzales, only to replace him with someone who shares his perspective on the law.

This may sound harsh and closed-minded, but I'm sure you can appreciate that there is absolutely no point in ridding ourselves of Mr. Gonzales, only to then confirm someone who is virtually indistinguishable.

In my opinion, that would an irrefutable and devastating pre-emptive strike. In the first place, how could anyone argue against the logic? More importantly, though, it allows the Dems to strike off the list of possible candidates worthless, two-faced fucks like Hatch. If his name came up, all Leahy would have to do is refer to this, and the conversation would be over.

Given that Commander Chimpy McChimpster has already announced that he won't be making a nomination right away, this gives the Dems several days to prepare, and that's exactly what they need to do -- PREPARE! Sadly, though, if things run true to form, we can unfortunately count on the Dems to fuck around, waste time and be totally unprepared when the discussion starts.

It's sad but, really, as much as you might want to support the Democrats, it's almost impossible to find a more disorganized, self-destructive group of retarded misfits anywhere. And I'm being charitable.


JJ said...

That made me scream! I've been waiting so long for this, I'd almost given up... I was envisioning a nuclear holocaust where everything was gone except Abu.

Southern Quebec said...

Cadaver Chertoff is going to take his place. Things will be much better now. :)

Mike said...

What about Harriet Miers? This might just solve all those subpoenas issue she is facing.... or not...

chris said...

Adios, Abu.
Chertoff may have a little trouble with his confirmation.

Saints preserve us! I would never have believed that I might have to think about Skeletor's nomination for AG.

Ti-Guy said...

This doesn't surprise me at all. Who among the Republicans would be an acceptable candidate? They're all abysmal....even Republican voters are abysmal.

Red Tory said...

I heard Orrin Hatch might be a possibility.