Sunday, July 27, 2008

Baird Poo Poos


John Baird, the angry man with the spherical noggin, is trying to dissuade voters from falling for the insidious Liberal plan to tax polluters. As any business major can tell you, a corporation will gladly pay huge sums of money for the privilege of spewing filth into the environment. Thus Baird informs us that a carbon tax would constitute a "pay-and-pollute" system. Having seen how effectively Mr Baird and his associates have worked to institute environmental policies both at home and internationally (where we are back, back on the international stage), his logic is flawless. If you happen to be a completely ignorant sucker.

To date the Cons have presented some nebulous scheme that would invoke carbon reductions by
2050. After a few more generations of asthmatic kids wheeze into power, there might be some motivation. And there's some relief to be had knowing that the Conservative's client government will have served its mandate of keeping the tar pits open for raping. Syncrude be praised. Kyoto couldn't be moved forward or even attempted until everyone else, from China to Togo and from India to Belize signed up. After all, if everyone is standing in a circle pissing into the porridge, there's no point in smartening up and stopping 'til every last single other idiot stops. The Con's insist that until everyone else acts, that they'd be fools to lead. In the mean time, there's money in that thar filth and they ain't about to piss off the folks with the money. They are the ones that really count. Hell, just ask Jimminy Prentice, that's how things operate.

"A company could simply buy their way out of the problem by simply paying the tax and continuing to go forward, putting carbon into the atmosphere," Baird told reporters in Vancouver on Friday.

"We think we need mandates to reduce carbon emissions, to reduce greenhouse gas emissions."

Baird distanced his comments from B.C.'s carbon tax, saying each level of government has to deal with the issue of global warming in its own way.


So while one side of his cavernous yawp is scoffing at Dion's carbon tax idea, Baird and the Conservative government are presiding over a landscape where lakes and rivers across the country will be ceded to mining concerns and turned into
toxic tailing dumps. Huge American corporations that make wasteful, fuel guzzling shitboxes fall out of favour with the public and the Cons want to give them giant taxpayer funded pity payouts.

Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty said the federal government is interested in helping GM begin production of a new car at the Oshawa car plant.

He said he was willing to use funds from a C$250 million ($245 million) Automotive Innovation Fund designed to develop more fuel-efficient vehicles.


Call me crazy but $250 million for vehicle development could go a long way to supporting
Canadian innovations like the Zenn. But then Harper's government would need to actually give a shit about something other than the oil powered status quo. All the disingenuous bleating about made in Canada solutions ring just a little hollow when Canadian success stories like the Zenn can't get a straight answer from the government and have to consider taking their business off shore. But poor, poor General Motors can commiserate with Harper and Baird and all the other fat assed creeps that are linked hand to pocket, after all GM's already killed off a beloved electric vehicle.

Baird can scream and shout and turn his enormous bulb of a head bright purple but it won't prove that he is anything more than a sideshow freak. He doesn't have a particular interest in seeing anything done about carbon emissions or any sort of pollution. He's a company man and he doesn't work for us, we just pay his wage.

1 comment:

Shannon said...

I have to disagree with you on this one. His head is clearly watermelon-shaped.