Life just doesn't get more convenient than this, does it?
I found Jesus: Vick
NFL superstar Michael Vick apologized yesterday for the first time over his role in a brutal dogfighting ring - and vowed to come back a better man...
The razzle-dazzle star - now a poster boy for animal cruelty - claimed the lurid accusations have helped him find religion.
"Through this situation, I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God," said Vick, 27. "I think that's the right thing."
In response, Jesus Christ issued a press release stating that he is a dog lover, and that Michael Vick has no freakin' idea what kind of king-hell trouble he's in for now.