Monday, October 02, 2023

Chronicles of Twatrick: It's a hard life ...

... when you're just trying to enjoy yourself at a bull-riding competition, and the hot teenager next to you is putting the moves on you:



Because if there's one thing those high-schoolers are after, it's a balding, morbidly obese, bankrupt 40-something that has nowhere to take them after the show.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

He dismissed one of his commenters last week as "jealous because I'm getting so much more pussy than you".
Exactly what universe does this obese, uneducated, unskilled, uncoiffed, unloved, unemployed, unmarried, bankrupt action figure collector inhabit??

CC said...

Pretty sure he misspelled "puffy."

thwap said...

Something like this creates more questions than it answers. Is he lying? Is he lying because he's insane? Was she real, but a brain-damaged troglodyte? Did he get the numbers reversed and she was 91 (and senile)? Who does he think is going to believe this claim?

Del Esau said...

Meth is hard.
(I'm talking about the girl.)

Purple library guy said...

There are people who can interpret a moment of eye contact as "Wow, she's so into me!"

Anonymous said...

File under "things that definitely didn't happen"

Anonymous said...

Also it’s AB. Which means a very real possibility she was drinking a bit much and, lacking proper judgement, made the mistake of being nice and polite to the creep sitting next to her claiming to be an expert in rodeo.

Coolxenu said...

That's weird. Many people are saying that Paddy likes 'em young.

RossOwesDay said...

Meth would actually be a good idea for Twatsy. It would reduce his appetite, so he'd spend less money on $21 burgers, he'd lose weight, and he'd do better menial work as a swamper in the boonies of Northern Alberta, so FluidPRO would give him a $0.50/hour raise.

Anonymous said...

Does he work with these people?
https://nitter.net/AntifaDeer/status/1708977598624334103#m

Look out Ottawa, they're coming if they don't all land in the ditch along the way.

ValJ