The evil that feminists do.

SUZANNE waxes sanctimoniously about the dark, shameful days of her past when she was *gasp* a man-hating, ball-busting feminist. But Pah-raise Jeeezuz she saw the light and was saved, SAVED from her unnatural, slutty feminist ways. Can I get an “Amen”, brothers and sisters?

When I was a feminist, many years ago, used to think women were oppressed and victims. And like this columnist, I thought many men had it in for women-- especially smart women. A woman who raised her voice against the patriarchy was a woman setting herself to be a victim because she challenged the pecking order.

And we all know how protective men can be about their “pecking”.

That's the way you think when you're a feminist: it's all about power. It's all about classifying yourself as a victim when things don't go your way.

Unlike, say, the way you think when you’re a right wing, neocon, fetus fetishist. Then it’s all about ramming your opinions down other people’s throats. That is totally different.

Tanya Gold says that men want women lobotomized. The proof? When she attended speed dating sessions and pretended to be a high-powered, intellectual, professional, men were turned off. But when she pretended to be a dumb florist with the IQ of a doorknob, men were interested.

Proving once again that real men only want to marry women who can’t think for themselves. Like my husband, for example. I know this is true because he told me.

It doesn't seem to occur to Ms. Gold that the reason men might have been turned off by her presentation is because she came off too strong and showed herself to be interested in things that the other person may not be interested in.

Girls these days! Always trying to be smart and stuff. That’s no way to catch a man.

I used to be like that, too. I thought coming on strong and showing my cards was an asset. It works when you find the right person who happens to click with you. It worked with my husband. But with most men, it doesn't work. Coming on too strong makes most people uncomfortable. It doesn't matter what the circumstance is: whether you're looking for a dating partner, a friend or a business partner.

Honey, trust me, nobody wants to see your “cards”. And coming on too strong does make people uncomfortable – especially when you try to force your extremist views on them. I’m not naming names here *cough* SUZANNE *cough* ... I’m just sayin’.

And yes, when you have specialized, very intellectual pursuits, most people are not going to be interested. That is why I don't talk a lot about abortion with other people. Are you shocked? That's what my blog's for. (Not to mention the fact it's a real lightning rod issue). I also happen to like Church history and poetry. Unless you find another historian or a poet, nobody cares. It's not a man-woman thing. It's a universal thing.

Suzanne, Suzanne, SUZANNE ... you have got to be kidding me. Let’s just bask in the sheer audacity of that statement for a minute, hmmmm? That is why I don't talk a lot about abortion with other people. Done basking? Good. From this day forward, that sentence will stand as a monument to the complete and utter hypocrisy that is Suzie ALL-CAPS (thanks, PSA). Every time she starts off on some fetus-fetishist rant I want everyone to call bullshit, got it?

When she was "dumb" she seemed to ask the men about their interests. Her questions were stupid, but so what? She was trying to get the other person to talk. But when she played the professional, she seemed focused only on her interests.

Which is so typically feminist. You know - be smart, have your own opinions, expect people to be interested in what you might have to say - nobody likes that. Again, I can’t stress this enough, that’s no way to catch a man.

It is human nature to like people who act interested in your pursuits. If I were dating, and a man with a borderline IQ would ask me about my job and interests, that would be a definite plus in his favour. Sure, I'd really want a guy who has approximately the same area of interests and IQ, but maybe if he respects what I do, I'm going to like him. We can click.

And as long as I completely repress who I really am, I can (say it with me, people) ... “Catch myself a man!”

Ms. Gold seemed to feel entitled to men liking her because of her brain. For many men, brains are an asset. It's just that you can be a veritable genius in academia, but if you have poor social skills, you're not going to attract men. Smart women often do not get that. They think that being able to converse about high-brow matters makes entitled to being liked and respected. When they don't get that respect, they turn sour against men. That's why I think they are so many smart women in the world who are feminists. It's easier to blame society for the lack of social skills.

So to conclude, smart women i.e. feminists = unnatural, bitter and alone. Dumb women i.e. me = married. There, that wasn’t hard, was it?

And no, I’m not adding a link to her cesspool of a blog. She’ll just redirect it to some abortion porn monstrosity and nobody with a brain wants to see that. The things I do for you people. Christ, I need a drink and it’s not even 11:00am.

Just for that, I’m posting pictures of my new boots all over the place.