Devout Catholic and shrieking, hate-filled bigot Kathy Shaidle gets all preachy about crackers:
I too have to object to the use of the word "cracker".
Mercifully, no one gives a fuck about what Kathy thinks, but it doesn't stop her from continuing to spew:
Unlike Protestants, Catholics believe that the communion Host is the actual Body of Christ. We're touchy about people pocketing the Host because believe it or not, there are weird people into Santeria and stuff who use them in pagan rituals.
Also, er, it's Jesus.
No, Kathy ... it's a cracker. But here's a suggestion.
If you actually want sane people to take your idiotic ritual seriously, why not have the "wafer" magically appear out of the air each time? That would be wicked cool -- the sudden appearance of the mystical biscuit in the fingers of the priest just before he places it in someone's mouth. It might even convince me to give this Catholicism thing a try.
But if wafers come, not out of thin air, but out of mixing flour and water, then baking at 350F for 20 minutes, then they're not magical representations of the body of Jesus Christ, ready to be transmogrified into His actual flesh. They're crackers.
Deal with it.
NOW THIS IS CURIOUS: What's up with gluten-free communion wafers?
For eight years, Robert Snow crossed himself as he approached his priest during communion instead of receiving the wafer he desperately wanted.
Snow, of Deerfield Beach, was diagnosed in 2001 with celiac disease, which prevents him from eating foods containing gluten, including communion wafers.
But Snow's church, St. Gregory's Episcopal in Boca Raton, recently began offering wheat-free communion wafers for people who cannot digest grains. And Snow says he finally feels part of the Mass.
So parishioners now have a choice of regular or gluten-free transubstantiation. How thoughtful of Jesus.