Why is it ...

... that Jordan Peterson, Rex Murphy and Conrad Black are never trending for the right reason? 

So you're into pork chops, are you?

My new secret weapon for the most amazing pork marinade:

And now you know.

And you can see why some people are such avid Trump supporters.

Here's a Trumpist, making overt and blatant threats against anyone threatening his favourite president:

Yeah, that moist-panty Trump hero worship is getting kinda old, isn't it, Ezra?

JUXTAPOSE!

Right-wing media outlet that brags about its staunch, relentless and unwavering support for free speech now insists that people should be deported for (*checks notes*) expressing their opinions:

OK, then.

MUSICAL INTERLUDE: I need something to cheer me up.

Here you go.

Donald Trump will never see the inside of a jail cell.

Seriously, the judges currently overseeing his cases are such gutless, spineless, cowardly, pandering pieces of shit that, even if Trump openly called for the murder of their entire families, the best those judges could muster is to threaten to not give Trump's BMW two coats of wax.

The prosecutors in these cases should just throw up their hands in court, tell the judge to give Trump his hot oil massage, and walk out to go spend their time on cases they actually have a chance of winning.

P.S. Here's another deluded left-wing pundit, yammering on about the brilliance of Judge Tanya Chutkan. Fuck this bullshit ... not one of these judges has held Trump to even the tiniest scintilla of accountability, and they're never going to.

Well, that was exciting.

 

I'm sure Ezra Levant and The Democracy Fund will start a tax receipt-eligible fundraiser for GossJankowski any minute now, right?

Because fascists gonna fascist.

 

AFTERSNARK: In case you're wondering what has Ezra stroking himself raw in admiration of Ron DeSantis, it's DeSantis' now-debunked claim that he -- in howling contravention of U.S. government policy -- personally arranged for weapons to be delivered to Israel:

OH, MAN, Ron DeSantis is not having a good Sunday. Take a few minutes ...

Rebel News, and its ongoing pimping of the medical quackery of "The Wellness Company."

If you've followed Rebel News recently, you cannot have missed its relentless promotion of the eye-rolling silliness of "The Wellness Company" (TWC), a freedom-oriented, libertarian-themed source of medical idiocy and pseudo-scientific nonsense such as, well, this:

Luckily, I have the world's greatest commenters, one of whom pointed me at this delicious evisceration of TWC. I would post a couple of snippets, but that would do a disservice to the brilliance of the entire piece.

Go. Read.

BONUS TRACK: To be fair, at least they aren't making any promises:

Oh, right ... *that* John Carpay.

Keynote speaker John Carpay, you say?

That name sounds familiar, oh  right:

At this point, every speaker at a Rebel News hoedown should come with their own "About their criminal record" sub-page.

Because dumbfuck stupid, that's why.

Spot the stupid:

Even the United Nations is pants-pissingly terrified of Israel.

Here's the U.N., unable to muster the stones to actually say who killed their colleagues:

This is the level of cowardice we are dealing with on a global scale.

Rebel News, and how to deal with their bullshit.

Here we go again:

That would be three more Liberals, handing Ezra Levant a massive stick to beat them with, so let me suggest a simple solution to the above.

Every politician should have access to two Twitter accounts -- a personal account with which they can do whatever the fuck they want, and an "official" account to be used solely and exclusively for government business, with which they have limited freedom to mute and/or block anyone.

In fact, this is exactly what U.S. Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg does, as you can see:

One account for work, one for personal shit, which resolves all of the above rubbish as long as one obeys the following two rules.

1. The personal account is used solely for personal content; it cannot be used ever to distribute government policy of any kind. As long as that rule is followed, one can mute or block the fuck out of anybody they want.
2. On the other hand, the government account can be used only for official government communications, and cannot mute or block anyone, with the exception of any accounts that become obviously abusive and arguably deserve such punishment. Certainly, muting someone in no way constitutes censorship and would solve all of the above issues.

So why is this not done? Because -- and how can I put this diplomatically? -- the federal Liberals appear to be the dumbest fucking life forms on the planet, and can't avoid punching themselves in the face day after day. Yes, they really are that fucking stupid.

And so it begins ...

... just as the MAGAts down south are setting their sights on local politics, Take Back Alberta seems intent on contaminating politics across the country.

Rebel News: The grift that never ends.

In case you missed it, the Rebel News combination media outlet and right-wing dating site has opened up an on-site pharmacy, wherein you -- the irredeemably gullible mark -- can purchase wildly expensive pharmaceuticals to apparently "detoxify" from previous COVID-19 vaccinations (or something equally deranged):

Tune in next week when Rebel begins hawking boner pills that make you irresistible to that smokin' hot high school student sitting next to you at a Grande Prairie bull riding contest.

No word on whether customers are entitled to charitable tax receipts.

Oh, man ... Skippy has a new best friend forever.

 

Chronicles of Twatrick: Stupid is as stupid does.

I hesitate to bring this up, but it's too precious an opportunity to pass by. Here's Lloydminster's village idiot Patrick Ross, howling with glee over someone reporting that my blog is insecure and possibly engaging in nefarious activity:

 

Now, before we examine this further, take a wild guess as to why one might get such a warning, not just on my blog, but on any web page no matter what. Go on, take a guess. I'll wait.

Dum de dum dum ...

In fact, I trivially reproduced that warning myself, by deliberately visiting my own site using the Internet protocol "http://" rather than the secure form of "https://":

Once I switched to "https://", the warning went away. This is the level of dumbfuck stupid we are dealing with here -- mouth-breathing yahoos unaware of secure versus insecure Internet protocols.

Are we done here? Yeah, I think we're done here.

Idiots.

P.S. In case you need further convincing, I popped over to one of Patrick Ross' own craptastic websites and, using the insecure protocol, got precisely the same warning:

Again, appreciate the level of dumbfuck stupid required to have posted that original hysterical screed while never having understood the concept of secure HTTP.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Patrick "I am the smartest d00d on the Intertoobz" Ross is now doubling down on the dumbfuck stupid, continuing to insist that his browser warnings are somehow related to my blog content, and not to his mind-numbing ignorance on how "https://" works, as he tweets:

It's too bad this level of screeching ignorance isn't expensive ... oh, wait, it is:

At this point, will Patrick ever concede that he is simply a technical ignoramus? Let's watch.

Meet your new Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.

An absolutely deranged Christofascist.

That country is so fucked.

Submitted without comment.

 

Well, isn't that special?

Welcome to America's new Speaker of the House of Representatives:

Mike Johnson rummaging around in womens' uteruses without their permission in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

Chronicles of Twatrick: About lying to the Court.

At some point, I suspect I will get undischarged bankrupt and fugitive from financial justice Patrick Ross into a court and under oath before a judge, at which time there will be presented quite the laundry list of the times Patrick has lied to the court; I produce just the teeniest example of what I am talking about here.

In his aborted and subsequently dismissed-as-abandoned 2015 appeal of his bankruptcy Conditional Discharge Order, Patrick submitted that he had never been served with my 2010 defamation judgment against him, writing:

As one can read in the above, Patrick is adamant that in a March 2012 (not 2011, as he writes) hearing in Calgary, the judge agreed he had never been served with the judgment and further ordered my then-lawyer to deliver said judgment to Patrick. I will not bother enumerating how many times Patrick had received a copy of said judgment; I will, however, produce the relevant part of the transcript of that very hearing so one and all can see precisely what the judge really said to Patrick [emphasis added]:

As I believe you can see, the judge makes it crystal clear that she does not believe Patrick, opining that "I'm sure Mr. Kraft's file is replete with affidavits of service that show that you were served."

This is but a single example of quite the collection of howling falsehoods that Patrick has told various courts over the years, and that collection will -- at my earliest opportunity -- be placed in its entirety before the Court.

Thanks for stopping by.

Lock. Her. Up.

JFC ... here's unethical, unprincipled hack Jenna Ellis, weeping theatrically for the court and playing the "I'm a good Christian" card.

Jail. Now.

P.S. I truly love Ellis' explanation of, "We were so frantically busy claiming the entire election was stolen that we just didn't have the time to collect, you know, evidence."

I wonder how many people are feeling a bit suckered about having funded Ellis' legal defense, only for her to fold like a cheap card table, then get to keep all the money.

Jesus. Motherfucking. Christ.

This is Ezra Levant's intellectual role model.

Let that sink in.

Dear Donald J. Trump:

You realize that denying someone was ever your lawyer waives any solicitor-client privilege you might have been counting on, right? Right?

J.F.C.

Meet Rebel News' newest journalist:

Pundits warn public of clear and present danger of rabid, unhinged "Freedom Convoy" protests.

 

Oh, wait, I take it back.

Never mind. Carry on.

Byron Donalds: The worst of the shittiest.

 

Frankly, no, the American people don't deserve better than this. Byron Donalds is exactly what those imbeciles deserve.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Laura Loomer is an absolute garbage human being, just like her previous employer.

Chronicles of Twatrick: JUXTAPOSE!

Man who used to hide behind living room curtains until process server had left will now mock people for (*checks notes*) hiding from process servers.

Really, you can't make this up.

Time for my annual "Warm Socks" fundraiser.

As I have done for the last few years, I am re-activating my GoFundMe fundraiser to purchase mountains of warm socks and underwear and mitts and toques for local Ottawa shelters.

The pattern is that I collect donations, then scour the area for the best deals on high-quality socks, and underwear, and assorted winterwear, and donate it all to the local shelters like Shepherds of Good Hope and the Ottawa Mission. Here's just one pic from last year, where I scored a nad-crushing deal on awesome socks:

In the end, I delivered several large garbage bags of winterwear to people who needed it, and it's all happening again this year.

So cough up, and simply trust that I will find the best way to spend that money.

If you're in Ottawa and want to support a good cause, there's Chef Ric's.

Had my first catered lunch from Chef Ric's last Thursday, and can heartily recommend not just the food but the social cause.

I am now COVIDed x 6.

Yup, got my sixth shot this morning. In an amazing coincidence, I've never had COVID-19.

Go figure.

Dear Jenna:

Not so fucking funny now, is it?

Chronicles of Twatrick: Where in the world is Baron von Loadenhosen?

A confidential informant enlightens me that undischarged bankrupt and $21 cheeseburger addict Patrick Ross has restarted his YouTube channel, for the dozen or so people that check it out over a couple of days:

Trying not to seem superficial but, for a 42-year-old that brags incessantly about his active outdoor lifestyle, Patrick is looking a little ... bloated. He might consider the occasional vegetable. And, no, I don't mean poutine.

P.S. And, yes, I still want to keep track of the random wanderings of Patrick Ross.

If Zach Hyman is upset about the last couple of weeks, ...

 

... I'm thinking it might not be a good idea to point out Israel's decades of Palestinian oppression and land theft. Maybe Zach can only think in two week blocks at a time.

Big. Fucking. Deal.

"Stop, or I'll yell 'Stop' again!"

What a pathetic pansy-ass of a judge.

The people want Jim Jordan!

Um ... not only do the people not want Jim Jordan, even Jim Jordan's own party does not want Jim Jordan.

Now Jimbo can go back to ignoring sexual misconduct. It's what he does best.

Oh, man ...

... Sheila Gunn Reid is not aging well.

I'm still not sure who Paul Mitchell is ...

... but, holy Jesus fuck, is he an imbecile:

 

Musical interlude.

Go. Listen.

And as for indisputably guilty pleasures, well ...

JUXTAPOSE! P.S.: "Everyone hates us so send money."

Rebel News "free speech warrior" David "The Menses" Menzies wants to deport anyone exercising their right to (*checks notes*) free speech:

Meanwhile, everyone hates David so much that he needs professional protection so, yeah, send him a pile of cash. Unmarked bills. Paper bag.

P.S. Speaking of hateful rhetoric having ugly consequences ...

So ... there's that.

Ruh roh ...

"... agrees to testify against co-defendants ..."

You know what's coming ...

Release the ketchup!

Chronicles of Twatrick: Happy interestversary!

It is now a full 26 months since a Saskatchewan judge gave undischarged bankrupt and fugitive from financial justice Patrick "Kid Cash Badass Thunderbolt Dragon Fire Quintuple Threat MMA Cosplay Bikini Designer Porn Author Nexus of Assholery Bad Company" Ross the bad news as to how much he owed me, and how quickly that amount is increasing:

To no one's surprise, Patrick is nowhere to be found since the passing of his addlepated father, who was Patrick's primary enabler, so it's not clear what Patrick is up to these days; evidence suggests he is back in Alberta, once again making a living as a "swamper" (an oil patch job that is as disgusting as the name suggests).

In any event, to reply to a recent commenter, sure, I'm always in the market for anyone in the vicinity of Lloydminster, SK to become another confidential informant and keep tabs on the happenings at Casa Ross (all within the bounds of the law), so if you're available, drop me an e-mail.

In the meantime, another month, another several hundred dollars that Patrick owes me, with no end in sight. I guess we'll see y'all back here in another month.

P.S. I would be remiss in not mentioning Patrick's challenge from way back in something like 2008, when Patrick was gloating about doxxing me and just daring me to do anything about it:

And how exactly did that end? Oh, right ...

As the old saying goes, be careful what you ask for.