Even a batshit-crazy squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.

Sit down. No, really. Because the space-time continuum has been warped in astonishing ways, and gibbering wanker Captain "Special Ed" has produced a logical, coherent post in which, unlike the other 99 percent of the idiotsphere, he actually figures out who the real villains are:

Well, well, well. It appears the Republicans actually can make the Foley controversy worse. As if it wasn't bad enough that John Boehner knew about Foley's track record of sexual harassment of his underage pages, now it turns out that Speaker Denny Hastert lied about what he knew and when he knew it.

Let me draw your attention to the most important word in the above: "lied." Yes, even Captain Ed has had reality pounded into his thick skull sufficiently that he has finally relented and used the forbidden "L" word. Will miracles never cease? Go, Ed! Go, Ed! Go, Ed!

I cannot tell CQ readers how disgusted I am with Speaker Hastert. Reynolds is no fringe nutcase; he's the man Hastert trusted to run the midterm re-elections of the Republican caucus. He has no reason to lie, but Hastert apparently did. This also calls into question Boehner's earlier reversal, when he denied saying that he informed Hastert after Hastert denied knowing of Foley's activities.

Hastert should have been a man from the beginning and admit that he knew about Foley. Now he has destroyed any credibility left in his Speakership, and he has only compounded the embarrassment for the GOP caucus. Foley's actions reflect on Foley alone, but thanks to Hastert and perhaps Boehner, the aftermath will reflect on all Republicans in the House.

Normally, I don't like to see lower life forms suffer but, in this case, I'm going to make an exception.

AFTERSNARK: I really was trying to give "Special Ed" credit for grappling with reality in this post but, being the wanker that he is, you knew he couldn't keep it up for an entire blog entry:

Allowing Foley off the hook was a mistake in judgment, but this is a betrayal of those who trusted Hastert to lead the House with dignity, honesty, and integrity.

I'm sorry ... "dignity, honesty and integrity?" Dude, he's a Republican. What the fuck are you smoking?

PRIORITIES, PRIORITIES. If you have the stomach for it, the best part of Captain Ed's post is the comments section, where various subhumans take right-wing rationalization to creepy new depths. Here's my favourite (although pretty much anything by commenter "smagar" has equal entertainment value):

... Let's be clear on this: If Hastert and Boehner are forced out, this close to an election, than we should expect the Democrats to take the House.

THAT means impeachment investigations--real or threatened--, a White House spending its last two years in power fending off subpoenas, a Charles-Rangel-led effort to bleed our war effort in Iraq and Afghanistan dry, and an emboldening of al Qaeda and jihadis worldwide as they perceive a weakening in American resolve.

With all that at stake, I want to make DANG SURE that Hastert really knew how bad Foley was, and deliberately ignored what he was/might be doing, before I'll fall in line with a call for his head.

A reminder: we are at war. If Hastert goes, the Dems most likely get the house, and our chances for winning the war drop precipitously. We become, de facto, a much less safe nation.

Translation: If we hold child sexual predators and their enablers accountable, the terrorists will have won.

Feel safer yet?