Dear Bill: About that book thingie of yours ...

To:

Bill Scher,
Executive editor,
LiberalOasis.com

Dear Bill:

I see that they're pimping your new book over at Firedoglake: "Wait! Don't Move to Canada! A stay-and-fight strategy to win back America." Obviously, congratulations are in order although, truth be told, I can't be as enthusiastic about this as most people would have thought. Quite simply, while I'm normally a big fan of yours, your plea for U.S. liberals not to move to Canada, well, sucks yellow snow.

See, from my perspective, those are just the people I want moving up here. I mean, think about it -- educated, progressive, environmentally responsible and socially compassionate Leftists. Geez, what's not to like? Personally, I wouldn't be trying to discourage those folks. I'd be sending them directions, marked with little X's to show them every Tim Horton's along the way. So, while I know you mean well, this is just a bad idea. However, I don't want to sound greedy so, on behalf of my fellow Canadian progressives, I'd like to make you a deal.

For every seriously left-of-centre liberal you send us (and, note, Bill, the proper spelling of "centre"), we will, in exchange, send you a Blogging Tory. No, no, really -- it's the least we can do. I wouldn't want anyone to think we were taking advantage of you. Or anything.

As to the Blogging Tory selection process, well, that pretty much suggests itself. All of the BTs would be ranked according to the percentage of their posts that profess undying adulation of your own leader, President George W. McFucktard (as he is known up here), and the higher rankings would be shipped first. What's not to like there, either? This is pretty clearly a win-win for everyone all around, wouldn't you say?

In fact, we'll even start things off with a free sample. I figure this guy would be as good a choice as any. In retail terms, think of him as our very own loss leader.

The operative word here being "loss," if you catch my drift. And I'm guessing you do.

P.S. Again, not to sound greedy, Bill, but some of us figure that you owe us a few liberals by now. I mean, we're getting seriously tired of right-wing, American whackjobs like this showing up on our doorstep, know what I mean?

For the sake of international relations, I think you folks have some serious making up to do and, the sooner you get started, the better.