Friday, August 18, 2023

Rebel News: Predictable as fuck.

A couple days ago, an anonymous commenter left this brilliantly prescient comment regarding the depressing predictability of yet another ghoulish, tragedy-milking Rebel News grift:

As is always the case with these little Rebel junkets, you can write their entire coverage before they even board the plane.

  • Day One: here we are in the airport, looking grimly serious and getting ready to embark on our expedition to tell you the Real Truth Behind the Scenes.
  • Days Two and Three: we’re in Honolulu, where the restaurants and shopping are much better than on Maui. We’re adjusting to the time change, acclimatizing, scoping the mission, getting a real feel for the place. and pestering government officials. Curiously, they won’t talk to us. Obviously evidence of conspiracy.
  • Day Four: on Maui. We found a whole bunch of anguished people who lost family, friends, or property in the fires. We shoved cameras in their faces and asked them who was to blame. Here’s a heavily edited montage of the ones who blamed Joe Biden.
  • Day Five: Maui was depressing and stank of smoke, so we’re back in Honolulu. Alexa is recovering from PTSD from her time in the disaster zone, so we’re taking it pretty easy; but Ezra’s going out to the beach to tape a few hours of interview with this taxi driver he met who told him it was all a conspiracy by Obama’s relatives to clear waterfront for development.
  • Day Six: we’ve completed our documentary on the disaster and will be booking a national tour of tiny church halls across Canada for screenings. Stay tuned.


I don't think it could have been any more perfect:





It's like they're not even trying anymore.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, team, here are your choices.
We could send the crew to the NWT. That’s an actual, current story, still breaking, Canadian, involving the first evacuation of a capitol city in history, unprecedented economic and social impact in the wake of our country’s worst ever fire season, incalculable damage to Indigenous territory, and some personal risk.
Or, you could go to Hawaii.
Show of hands?

Coolxenu said...

Somebody has to pay for that Hawaiian vacation.

Anonymous said...

It rained in Yellowknife last night, though presumably not enough to stop the fires entirely. But if they do keep the fires away from the city Levant could call the evacuation a nefarious plot by the government to empty the city for an experiment. Then he could "find" surveyors plotting out 15 minute cities.

Climate change? No such thing, it's all PMJT's fault.

ValJ

Anonymous said...

Rebel News couldn’t be bothered to care about the wild fires in Canada because Maui is where the real story is.

Anonymous said...

Excuse the bad source, but this Nick Sortor character was doing a similar activity in Maui and was terrified by a critic while talking to Steve Bannon:

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2023/08/nick-sortor-confronted-crazed-leftist-stalker-during-live/

Note that he isn't all that close to Lahaina. Before he went to Hawaii he was determined to defy the media free zone. What a wimp.

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1691306713423532032.html

Let's hope the Rebel reporters also meet critics. Maybe they will just interview Sortor while he interviews them.

ValJ

Anonymous said...

It appears that the local critic is @MauiSwingTrader.

By the way, near the bottom of that gateway piece, Sortor had been demanding that the mayor of Lahaina say how many children are missing. Seems ghoulish to me; the mayor is not going to want to say anything about that while they are still searching the place and slowly identifying the deceased.

Sortor is asking why schools were closed in the middle of the day while parents were at work.
Real journalists answer - because of the high winds:

"The fire swept through Lahaina on the very day that many students, including freshmen at Lahainaluna High School where Landes works and children at the elementary campus where his wife teaches were scheduled to return from summer vacation. But classes were canceled due to the high winds that propelled the blaze."

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/maui-children-face-grief-destruction-schools-start-up-after-wildfire-2023-08-19/

"It is not yet clear how many children perished in the fire, or how many parents are waiting to decide where to send them to school. State education officials did not respond to requests for comment from Reuters."

ValJ