Rebel News' third-dumbest journalist, Tamara Ugolini, insists you sign a petition demanding that kids be allowed to go back to school:
Tune in in three weeks when, after kids go back to school and there is a massive spike in COVID-19 in schools, Ugolini will present a petition demanding that politicians protect kids in school from COVID-19. And also to send Ezra money so he can buy a house. Or possibly a yacht.
4 comments:
These stupid assholes are responsible for dragging the pandemic out.
Disgusting.
I was struck by your characterization of Tamara as the Rebel's "third dumbest journalist". While your gracious application of the term "journalist" to any of these amateur rage-monkeys speaks to your generosity of spirit, I wonder about the criterion of "dumbness", and the relative ranking of the candidates.
I note that this year's 'pick your favourite Rebel reporter' contest (run, of course, by the Rebel, to provide undistinguished, skill-free toiletbowl scum like Keean Bexte the only opportunity they will ever have in their grim, dim lives to proclaim themselves "award-winning") seems to have been cancelled. There were hints in various twitter accounts that the Rebel old farts were being humiliated by newbies infinitely more adept at canvassing their social networks for votes than the self-important "senior" team members.
If that's the case, perhaps it behooves you, CC, to take up the gauntlet and provide the Rebel team with a new title to contend for - The Dumbest Rebel. It's a rich field and the competition will be tough, but you were never one to back down from a challenge.
There would be a few wrinkles to iron out, of course.
1) What exactly do we mean by "dumb"? In the traditional sense, of course, the term would refer to someone who lacks intelligence or common sense, and that would automatically suggest such inarticulate droolers as Drea Humphrey, Adam Soos, Alexandra Lavoie, Lincoln Jay, Tamara Ugolinini, or Dave Menzies. However, does it include folks who feign actually stupidity for their paycheck, but who may or may not in fact be as ignorant as the masks they assume when talking down to their readership? (Thinking here of Sheila, Andrew Chapados, Dakota Christensen, and the man himself?)
2) Does this unfairly exclude from consideration the folks who provide no actual evidence of any skill or aptitude beyond the ability to point a camera at a crowd and press "record"?
3) Does it excluded those like Raheel Raza, who recycles the same column four times a year (Bad Muslims are Bad and Should Become Good Muslims), or the folks who have perfected one single shtick (which would be the entire Team Australia)?
3) Does it disadvantage the folks for whom the Rebel is just a second window they use to promote their own Twitter or instagram presence?
All questions that could, I'm sure, be resolved. Perhaps you should consider a "Canada Reads" approach, in which you whittle down the field to five contestants and assign each one to a regular correspondent here, tasked with collecting their dumbest moments and arguing their case?
@Anonymous @ 11:33:
I suggest that the definition of "dumb" used be similar to Ezra's definition of "opinion" - that is to say it means what it means at that time, and the meaning may change tomorrow. Why give them the idea that there's any kind of certainty?
I believe the Rebel cancelled their “Best Rebel Journalist” poll when “None of the Above” scored 97% of the vote.
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