One should always, always, ALWAYS chill the vermouth and the martini glass prior to mixing. Remove the glass from the freezer, pour in just a splash of vermouth and swirl until the glass is coated, discarding the rest.
Pour your vodka -- Stoli or Grey Goose, there are no others to this girl -- into a stainless steel shaker with a generous amount of crushed or shaved ice and then shake the everloving shit out of it. Strain into your vermouth-scented glass, garnish as you see fit and then savour.
Yes, this is how I deal with funerals. And weddings. And baptisms. And Groundhog Day. Your mileage may vary.
22 comments:
When I drafted the banner graphic for Canadian Cynic several years ago, I added that martini glass graphic because CC Sarcasm is drier than any martini.
The Canadian Cynic Dry Sarcasm Martini Bar open for business since,... well for a long time.
Cheers
wv = coero
It isn't a proper martini without these.
Nice-looking martooni glass. I like how it's got the beveled edges on the stem so it doesn't slide out of your hand as you're falling down the stairs.
I never was a martini drinker myself, just could get use to mind smashing effects,... kind of like forcing an olive through head,... while wrapped around a brick,...
I drank one once,... but I seriously can't remember what happened,... in the morning I swear I thought my head was going to explode.
The only thing that was worse was drinking honest to goodness moonshine,... now that shit got you hammered and hung over all at once,... that was an extremely painful night that I can't remember either,...
Are you saying that from experience, JJ? ;-)
I'm sure the olives are interesting but, imho, it's the vodka that counts.
I'm sorry. Martinis are made with fucking Gin, not rotten potato water.
martinis, regardless of the chosen clear liquor, are pretty disgusting. but they do make for a nice pose.
:-p
Blurgh.
Gin has always struck me as an old lady kind of drink.
It is. An old lady with money kind of drink.
*yawn*
Premium Vodka sales guy "Pay More for less taste!!!1!!"
*double yawn*
I've always appreciated the inherent subtlety of vodka -- gin is a touch too crass for me.
FF - "Are you saying that from experience, JJ?"
Yes, I mean no, I mean I've seen it happen to someone else.
Exercise due diligence around stairs -- the drink you spill may be your own!
wv -- purewom
Yes when making a VODKA martini one would assume the use of VODKA...not gin. A great garnish for any martini are habanero stuffed olives, fucking eh boys. Also when you shake the "everloving shit out of it" you further crush the ice adding water to the martini which as far as I am concerned makes it Vodka and water in a fancy glass, just something 007 drinks. Stirred is the only way to make a martini, cooling the the liquor while adding as little water aka ice to the beverage. Shit if you keep your Grey Goose in the freezer just add olive and chug. Oh and the vermouth just needs to be in the same room to achieve "dry" status. Man I need a drink! Straks
The proper way to make a martini:
* Several ice cubes in stainless steel shaker.
* Add splash of dry vermouth. Sweet vermouth is for children and people with mullets.
* Close, invert gently a couple of times and pour out through strainer, leaving only whatever vermouth was sufficiently ambitious to cling desperately to the ice cubes.
* Fill with the appropriate amount of either gin or vermouth that's just been extracted from the coldest section of the freezer -- ideally, Bombay Sapphire gin.
* Once again, seal shaker and turn gently a couple of times.
* Strain slowly and lovingly into proper glassware, and garnish with olives as big as your head.
* Sip suavely and debonairly while hitting on the hot chick who was clearly impressed with your style.
Are we done here? Yeah, I think we're done here.
*triple yawn*
Whatever.
all this sophistication is deafening! i am overcome by the cocked pinkies of beveraginess. as a bartender martinis tended to cross the bar into the parchment claws of women of a certain age. the one's that draw their eyebrows mid-forehead as they think about tongue kissing fellows a small fraction of their own age.
the inverted cones of pretension would also pass into the greedy mitts of the local yuppie poseurs. and really, if the local talent is impressed by the suave and debonair style that accompanies a glass of cold juniper berry juice or potato water, well, wait 'til she sees your car keys ohmigod squeee. a compensatory corvette!
funny, the old ladies would sock away their martinis with gusto and depart leaving a trail of money and dust. but the young lions in their bravado and bluster, yawping off over the bar about their preference for a martini that was stirred gently and only twice with a glass rod so as not to bruise the gin, tended to be the cheapest snivellers one could serve. next to teachers and divorce lawyers of course.
in this humble server's opinion martini snobs are one order of magnitude goofier than scotch snobs. you mileage may vary and as in all areas, these rules are proven by their exceptions. now i must away to prepare a liter of kopi luwak coffee. made with beans that have passed through the gut of a civet cat and been harvested by the soft fingers of blind indonesian children, blessed twice by a temple monk and ground in a steam powered mill, steeped in a french press using filtered fijian water heated precisely to 208 degrees fahrenheit. i know it is a dastardly adulteration but i prefer mine with a dash of cream from a beloved, virgin cow who has been named by a sweet blonde girl with freckles and milked by hand moments before sunrise. it makes all the difference.
Pour me a cup of that, you self-obsessed, pretentious coffee snob. ;-)
Skip the gin AND vodka and just take a rag, soak it in gasoline and sniff. Don't take you shoes off, though, or someone might steal 'em.
Sooey, I beliveded that that is already trademarked as the Shamattawa Soother. (c)
You will love your Martini even more by using Pearl Vodka. Pearl blows away Goose and Stoli.
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