Pastor Ted Rides Again!

Famed Evangelical Christian, wiener craving man o' gawd and meth head, Pastor Ted Haggard is back in the news. Seems Reverend Ted wasn't just buying man meat on the open market, he was also shagging "a young male church volunteer." Awesome! At this rate the Church of the Sacred Shopping Mall Jesus will soon have as much credibility as Catholic Church Incorporated. Maybe that fat old bigot and squalling blowhard Bill Donohue could sprinkle some of the magic water and share a few super crackers with Teddy and get him all converted. The Catholics have a far better track record of keeping dirty little secrets from affecting a man of the cloth's job prospects.

Brady Boyd succeeded Haggard as senior pastor of the 10,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

He says the man came forward to church officials in late 2006 shortly after a Denver male prostitute claimed to have had a three-year cash-for-sex relationship with Haggard.

Poor guy was probably upset that he was giving it up for free and the Right Reverend Pastor Ted was cheating on him with a pro, not to mention his wife. Imagine being cuckold to a man whore and the beard. And kudos to the anonymous writer from AP for this line:

Boyd said an overwhelming pool of evidence points to an inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship.

An overwhelming pool of evidence, eh? Does Bill Clinton know about that? All he managed was a dribbled upon blue dress. Indeed, the lawd works it in mysterious ways. Leaving the best line for last:

He says it went on for a long period of time, and wasn't a one-time act.

That's a resume quality recommendation there Teddy. Stamina!