Take it away George. Far, far away.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Awwwwwwwwkward (all emphasis leg-humpingly added):
Octuplets' Mom "Obsessed" With Having Kids
(CBS/AP) The woman who gave birth to octuplets this week conceived all 14 of her children through in-vitro fertilization, is not married, and has been obsessed with having children since she was a teenager, her mother said.
Angela Suleman told The Associated Press she was not supportive when her daughter, Nadya Suleman, decided to have more embryos implanted last year.
"It can't go on any longer," she said in a phone interview Friday. "She's got six children and no husband. I was brought up the traditional way. I firmly believe in marriage. But she didn't want to get married."
A single mom? Oh, wait ... it gets so much better:
The Sulemans moved to Whittier, about 15 miles east of downtown Los Angeles, after they declared bankruptcy and abandoned a home elsewhere, Kauffman has reported.
Normally, at this point, you'd hear the right-wing Idiotsphere yammering on about how, if you can't afford to have children, stop having them so the taxpayers don't have to support your sorry ass.
Curiously, though, they're suddenly big fans of single, indigent moms having 14 kids. Isn't that the darndest thing?
Just when you think you've reached the bottom of the barrel, someone comes along and lifts up the barrel.
I'm not sure it's possible to pack any more stupid into a single paragraph, but feel free to give it a shot.
BY THE WAY, for those of you who are too clueless to understand what it means to be an "atheist," let me help. It's what I live for.
Will Ruffles ever learn how to breathe through his nose?
Shorter Raphael Alexander (if that’s really his name): A group of not-white people got together on a weekday to protest something that I would probably disagree with ‘cause they’re, you know, not white. This proves beyond any shadow of a doubt that they’re all welfare leeches.
CC adds: So people who take time off of a work day to rally publicly are a bunch of worthless, unemployed parasites, leeching off of society? OK, I'm good with that.
... and then there's ...
Curiously, Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor still takes her seriously. Go figure.
P.S. As gorge-rising as it might be, you have to read the comments over at SDC Nation, especially this one:
No, John, no one but you ever noticed that, and it's clearly a thought-provoking thing to ponder.
Has anyone else noticed that Mr. Begley has the same first name as mass child rapist and murderer John Wayne Gacy? Now, I'm not saying that Mr. Begley likes to sodomize and murder young boys ... oh, what the hell, sure, that's what I'm saying.
If anyone knows where Mr. Begley lives, you might want to warn the neighbours. Especially the ones with kids.
Poor Tom ... he had such high hopes for his creation:
"I spent five years getting Harper into power, so God knows I want him to survive," Tom Flanagan, a political scientist at the University of Calgary, said in an interview Wednesday.
"I perfectly understand the imperatives of political survival and the need to make compromises and to adjust, etc., etc. etc. But . . . it’s got a creepy feel to it."
Yeah, I know what you mean, Tom. You pour all that time and effort into them and, well ...
Shorter shrieky fetus-fetishist extraordinaire SUZANNE: Everything bad that has ever happened, or ever will happen, can be blamed on feminists. Cybersex? Feminists. Abortion? Feminists. The breakdown of Western society? Feminists. War? Feminists. Famine? Feminists? Bad breath? Yup, you guessed it ... feminists.
Shorter Blogging Tory "Raging Tory": "It's a fact that only conservatives actually produce anything, while liberals just sponge off of everyone else. Which is why I'm reproducing this blog post verbatim, word for word, from something someone sent to me."
P.S. Um ... Justin? Just so you know, "B-B-Q" is not a verb.
BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, it's amusing to see frothing, panty-yanking wanks like Justin complain about liberal freeloaders and parasites when you have shit like this going down:
Getting between a broker and his bonus is like getting between a schnauzer and his lunch bowl. He may not bite you, but you are going to smell his breath...
That certainly was the case this week when Main Street learned that, despite the craters of a down economy, Wall Street bonuses were more than $18 billion last year — roughly what they were in the fatty, solvent days of 2004.
Yo, Justin ... let me summarize that for you: Conservatives whose primary contribution to the economy was to fuck it up beyond belief due to mind-melting incompetence, stupidity and greed still want their billions of dollars of bonuses and massive taxpayer-funded bailouts.
I'm guessing Justin can't think of a way to make that sound funny.
Back here, I boldly predicted that the same Canadian wanks who were perfectly fine with bending over for the Bush administration and taking some softwood lumber would, in the face of Obama steel industry protectionism, get all NAFTA-y and lawyery and bitch and whine and moan and everything.
Apparently, I gave those yobs way too much credit for thought. Here's Blogging Tory and The Politic's Charles Anthony, who's totally down with that idea:
If Americans have already made the leap of faith that governments can stimulate the economy, they should be free to waste their money as they see fit. If they want their stimulating construction to involve only American steel, so be it.
It makes no sense for Prime Minister Harper to make demands on behalf of Canadian steel producers other than to score public relations points. It is just a waste of effort.
Actually, when you think about it, that makes perfect sense. The Americans can do what they want, and we should have the freedom to run our country however the hell we want. Oh, wait, I forgot ... it doesn't work that way.
Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories: Sometimes, too dumb even to be hypocritical.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy is appalled -- appalled, I tell you -- by a mother who killed her child:
An evil woman
Matthew 18:6But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
This woman should die in prison. What a horrible creature. Why didn't she just give the child to the biological father. I'm sure any number of people would have taken this child in. This woman is just evil.
As opposed to the Biblically devout, I suppose, but I'm betting dr. roy would rather talk about something else at this point.
They always do.
P.S. If I had any sense, I don't think I'd be using Scripture to demonstrate my compassion for the young'uns, if you catch my drift:
23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
If you were looking for examples of Christian compassion towards children, I'd recommend avoiding 2 Kings 2. Trust me on that one.
Blogging Tory "Hunter," whose main ambition in life seems to be some hot girl-on-girl action with Sarah Palin, is weirdly obsessed with saliva:
They Spit In Our Faces And We Let Them.
... Should every school sing our national anthem? Yes. Should all children be REQUIRED to sing it? No. Who ever said that Canada Day should be the only day that we show our love for our country? Who are these "fake" Canadians who do not want to sing our national anthem? They spit in our faces and we let them.
All right, Hunter, we get it -- you have an unhealthy obsession with getting a faceful of warm spit. But here's where it gets ever so amusing:
Remember how PM Harper diverted his plane so that the first people rescued from Lebanon could fly home with him?
Why, yes, Hunter, you dingbat, in fact, I do. It went kind of like this:
His military Airbus A310 - the same modestly refitted plane once dubbed an extravagant "Taj Mahal" by former prime minister Jean Chretien, who never flew in it - will be able to hold upwards of 100 evacuees when it returns to Canada.
And make no mistake -- Glorious Leader Stephen the Corpulent spared no effort in stripping that plane right down to pack every last evacuee on board:
That's in part because all 21 Canadian media travelling with the prime minister were left behind in Paris.
OK, maybe not every last evacuee:
But the prime minister did take three communications staff, in addition to his wife Laureen and an official photographer, along with what was described as a "skeleton staff" on the stripped down Airbus.
First, let's ponder the wisdom of Stephen the Corpulent personally flying into a war zone. Now, make no mistake, I am a huge fan of Stephen Harper winging his way into dangerous international areas of military conflict involving wicked surface-to-air artillery. The sooner, the better, that's my motto. But it's generally considered a bad idea to expose your national leader to that kind of risk when -- let's be honest -- he would be about as useful as a dick on Ezra Levant. And taking his wife along? Yeah, that's pretty fucking stupid, too. This had "Stud Muffin Stephen the Brave Massive Wang Photo Op Mission Accomplished" written all over it.
But wait! What exactly were those communications staff doing? Oh (emphasis added):
PMO staff left behind in Paris said the three communications officials would be helping serve food and drinks to the evacuees on the flight home, since the Defence Department cabin staff were also not aboard.
So, if I understand correctly, it was Harper's decision that three possible seats for terrified evacuees were sacrificed so that the remaining passengers could be served pretzels and Sprite in the comfort of their seats. Let's remember that fact for just a moment 'cuz it becomes important shortly.
Let us now return to Hunter's infantile pissing and moaning about other peoples' ingratitude:
Do you remember how they complained about the boats and then returned to Lebanon without so much as a thank you to Canadian taxpayers?
Yes, Hunter, I remember that, too. It went kind of like this (emphasis added):
Some of the evacuees said they were happy to be home. However, others said they were still angry after experiencing long waits, confusion, delays and lack of information from the Canadian Embassy in Beirut and a harrowing trip by ship from Lebanon to Cyprus. Canadians had complained of no food, water or medical help on board the ship.
How curious -- Hunter is apparently peeved that people would whine about something as inconsequential as no food or water on board the rescue ship, while clearly seeing nothing wrong with having sacrificed three seats on Harper the Bold's mission of mercy so that passengers could be treated personally to -- you guessed it -- complimentary munchies and their choice of cold beverage. No cognitive dissonance there.
I could go on but, really, this is Hunter we're talking about here. You could try to reason with her but, seriously, it's just easier to spit on her. It seems to be what she wants.
I'M JUST SAYIN': Does anyone else appreciate the irony of a group of shrieking wanks who can't stop telling you how much they luuuuuurrrrrrve Canada, and yet have not the foggiest idea of how its constitutional government works? I just find that ... odd.
Blogging Tory and slobbering Bush sycophant Jabba the Roy is some kind of pissed with Barack Obama:
The horrible stimulus from the US ( voted against by every GOP member of congress) has a buy America clause which may cost a lot of Canadian jobs. Well! Well! Well! obamessiah is bad for Canada.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper expressed "serious concern" on Thursday over a provision of the U.S. stimulus bill that would require infrastructure projects to use American steel, putting Canada on the edge of its first trade dispute with the United States since Barack Obama was inaugurated.
And that's when we politely point out this:
America's betrayal of open markets
Mar 7th 2002
NOBODY was surprised, despite affectations of shock in some quarters, when George Bush announced this week his plans to protect the American steel industry. The proposals had been trailed; they were regarded in Washington as politically inescapable. The fact that the president did what everybody expected him to makes this decision no less damaging, and no less stupid.
This steel-tariff plan, it is important to remember, lies well outside the ordinary run of bad economic policy: it is so wrong it makes other kinds of wealth-destroying intervention feel inadequate. And was it really politically inescapable? What a depressingly feeble excuse from a president who has promised, and shown, strong leadership in other respects, and who had claimed, by the way, to be a champion of liberal trade. Mr Bush and his advisers should be ashamed.
I have to ask -- does anyone out there actually go to dr. roy for medical advice or treatment? For the love of God, why?
AFTERSNARK: Is it worth keeping track of any of the other of Stephen Taylor's cabana kids who freak out over Obama's ostensible steel protectionism while conveniently giving President Chimpy McChimpster a free pass on the same topic? Let's start with this douche, and feel free to add to the list in the comments section.
It's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel. When the barrel's very small. And the fish are already dead.
I'M JUST SAYIN': Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't that kind of protectionism be a blatant violation of NAFTA where Canada is concerned? I ask since I'm reminded of the softwood lumber dispute, which was also a pretty clear-cut violation of NAFTA but which Stephen Taylor's Blogging Whiners never seemed to raise much of a ruckus over. It's a good deal, they told us. At least we're getting something in return. And, besides, we were getting fucked over by a Republican president, which seemed to make it all right.
But now that it's Obama, should we venture a guess as to how many BTs become experts at NAFTA and trade law? Will we see Steve (the Premature eJankulator) Janke suddenly put on his deerstalker hat and begin to lecture us all on the fine points and intricacies of the free trade agreement and how Obama is clearly violating it six ways to Sunday?
Yes, I'm going out on a limb and making that prediction. Feel free to help me out by occasionally holding your nose and popping by Stephen Taylor's Blogging Aggregator and Special Ed Day Care to see who has, veritably overnight, become an absolute authority on NAFTA and protectionism, and why Canada should sue.
Remember, you read it here first.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
At first glance, it's not clear what he's thinking:
The Obama administration has been floating the idea of naming Republican Sen. Judd Gregg (N.H.) to be Commerce Secretary, several Senate sources said Thursday.
The sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said Gregg’s nomination was far from a done deal, but remains a serious possibility. Reached by phone, Gregg, the top Republican on the Senate Budget Committee, said he had no comment on whether he has been in talks with the White House about the post.
Why? What possible reason could there be for ... oh:
New Hampshire's governor is a Democrat, who would be able to name Gregg's replacement. That pick could give the party a filibuster-proof 60-vote majority in the chamber if Democrat Al Franken is also ultimately named the winner in the contested Minnesota Senate race.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, man, that's priceless. The howling would be delightful.
I have to admit, CP24, it would never have occurred to me to have a poll asking whether atheists should be accorded the same fundamental rights as other Canadians. Never would have imagined surveying the general public to see what they thought of according one group of people the same freedoms under the law that all others enjoy.
But now that you've opened those floodgates, we might as well keep rolling down that road, so I look forward to future CP24 polls such as:
- Canada's aboriginals: Do they really need the vote?
- Muslims and other swarthy foreigners: Actual human beings or mud people?
- Sexual assault: Is rape getting a bad rap?
And I sincerely anticipate the question in everyone's mind at this point: "Should we drag CP24's editorial staff naked and screaming through the streets of Toronto in January, or would a quick and painless execution at their desks be more appropriate?"
Just vote once. Don't be greedy.
AFTERSNARK: Feel free to suggest other possible CP24 polls. I'm thinking: "Should Christians who toil on the Sabbath be put to death, as dictated in Exodus 31:12-15?" Oh, the possibilities are endless.
As God is my witness, I have no idea where to go with this (courtesy of that shrieky lunatic SUZANNE):
"Then stop doing it to anyone else."
If I attribute motives and intentions to you that you do not have, then let me know.
However, I think you read into my statement assumptions about your motives and intentions that I do not have.
What does that even mean? I need a drink.
Oh, man, this could keep me amused for weeks.
BY THE WAY:
The number one job of a political party is not to get elected.
It's to get it's [sic] policies based on it's [sic] principles enacted.
Perhaps, but it's not clear how you can base an entire election policy around, "We don't like gays or brown people." I mean, that might get you through the first five minutes but, after that, folks are going to be looking at their watches and wondering if they can make it home in time to catch "Corner Gas."
It's just an observation.
It's the douchebaggy train wreck that just keeps on train wrecking:
Franken lawyers elicited testimony that the GOP focused on rejected ballots after Coleman fell behind.
After he lost the unofficial lead in Minnesota's U.S. Senate recount, Republican Norm Coleman called for an exhaustive review of rejected absentee ballots to see whether they should be counted. But a state elections official testified Wednesday that Coleman pursued a different strategy when he was leading.
Really? A Republican completely reneged on his principles for the sake of votes? No way. Say it ain't so.
Deputy Secretary of State Jim Gelbmann said that in December the Coleman camp wouldn't accept 1,346 absentee ballots that county elections officials said were wrongly rejected. Gelbmann testified that even when he said there was "little doubt" that 93 of the ballots were valid, Coleman's lawyers said "they needed time to look over the list."
The testimony came on the third day of trial in Coleman's election lawsuit as lawyers for Democrat Al Franken sought to blunt Coleman's recent position that he is championing the counting of all valid votes while Franken is fighting to prevent it.
Tune in tomorrow when Coleman takes the position that, for the sake of fairness and democracy, Al Franken should be taken out and killed.
What can I say? It's the mother lode of parody, the gold standard against which all weaselly, tap-dancing, buck-passing, Canadian right-wing douchebaggery and dumbassitude will be measured for all time.
Consider, as a single example, this gem:
62% of Canadians voted for those without without a predisposition to sound economic sense, while the rest voted for those that know better.
"Those that know better" would apparently be Canada's Conservatives, led by one Stephen Harper, economist.
Man, I love it when someone else does all the heavy lifting.
P.S. Is it just me, or does Stephen Taylor desperately need an editor to help him with, like, words and grammar and spelling and stuff?
Shorter Stephen Taylor: It’s your own damn fault that Big Daddy and his merry band of in-and-out, security-breaching, surplus-spending fuckwits have been forced to plunge Canada into its first deficit in more than 11 years. If he’d gotten his more-than-deserved majority last fall, this wouldn’t have happened.
Drink it in:
That would be SDC Nation's Kate "Dead Jews Are Hilarious" McMillan, linking to Kathy "Five Feet of Colostomy Bag" Shaidle, complaining about vulgar and disrespectful racial stereotyping by other people.
I think I just ruptured something.
CURIOUSLY, for someone who's such a big fan of making sure no one ever forgets, SDC's Kate is far more forgiving when it comes to repulsive, right-wing fellow travellers, like Conservative MP and gay-bashing Tom Lukiwski:
Lukiwski, shut up - you've said enough. Stop being a chew toy. Give it a month, and even Google will have trouble remembering your name.
Quite right, Kate -- because not all offensive stereotypes are created equal. Apparently, there's one set of rules for homophobic wankers and bigots, and another for everyone else. Colour me shocked.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
It's because they lie. All the time:
"Sean, this recount is an expensive proposition."
No, Norm, you lying scumbag, it's not a "recount." The recount is over, and you lost. What you're babbling about is the lawsuit you've launched to dispute the results of the recount. Christ, even Fox News understands that.
What a twatwaffle.
THEY LIE. ALL THE TIME.
Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell, on the other hand, said he doesn't expect an election certificate to be issued until the litigation is over.
"The only people who have pronounced the Minnesota Senate race over are Washington Democrats, and the candidate who is the current custodian of the most votes," McConnell said in a written statement released Tuesday. "The people of Minnesota certainly don't believe this is over."
Yes, Mitch, they do. Fuck off.
OH, CHRIST, it never ends.
Someone who got their medical degree off of the same cereal box as dr. roy, I'm guessing:
When Andrea and Ginette Markowski, a same-sex married couple in Winnipeg, heard Dr. Elias was accepting new patients, they made an appointment and went to meet her (doctor shortages are a chronic problem in Canada; many people don’t have family doctors, and when a GP starts accepting patients, there’s usually a rush).
During their interview, the Markowskis say, Dr. Elias told them she had no experience treating lesbians, and they would be better off finding a doctor with relevant experience.
No, no, for the sake of fairness, read the whole thing. Then write her off as an idiot.
AFTERSNARK: And the burning stupid continues ...
Just in case you needed further evidence of what a not-so-cheap whore I truly am, yesterday’s
Yours in the gargantuan deficit,
Big Daddy, Fiscal Conservative
Oh, dear (emphasis leg-humpingly added):
Backlash Against Bush Apparent in RNC
Many Members Seek New Chairman to Steer Party in a Different Direction
As they begin meeting in Washington today, many members of the Republican National Committee are focusing their ire against what they considered George W. Bush's anti-conservative policies and trying to dump the man he tapped to run the GOP.
Hmmmm ... whingers finally fed up with the "anti-conservative" tendencies of their Glorious Leader? That sounds vaguely familiar. No, no, don't tell me ... it'll come to me.
And every so often, saner heads prevail:
U of A changes God reference in convocation speech
The University of Alberta has a new convocation charge after a group of campus atheists and agnostics challenged the reference to God in the speech.
How bad was the original wording? Pretty fucking hopeless:
The original charge, which is delivered to students by the university's chancellor during convocation ceremonies, called on students to use their degrees for "the glory of God."
And what heinous affront to critical thinking did they manage to come up with in its place? Oh, look:
The new charge tells students who believe to "serve your God."
"I find this to be an acceptable compromise," said Ian Bushfield, president of University of Alberta Atheists and Agnostics.
And it is, which means that reasonable people will look at it, nod their heads, admit that it seems to have solved the problem, consider the matter closed and move on, while batshit fucking crazy, screeching Bible-whomping wingnuts will continue howling about how their rights to be superstitious, uneducated dingbats and deranged retards are somehow being trampled. Those people are idiots.
Man, that last sentence was so unnecessary, wasn't it?
Shorter Premature eJankulator: "Look, you can't just abandon every right-wing principle you've ever espoused at the drop of a hat. These things take time. Possibly years."
Shorter BBS: "Yeah, what Steve Wanke said."
Shorter "At Home in Hespeler": "God. God, God, God. Did I mention God? Because God is light, and life, and love, and compassion. Stupid, fucking, cocksucking atheists."
Shorter Mark C.: "Yo, me be dissin' the Lib leader by 411-ing him as "Mickey I.". That makes me sound hip, right? Right? Hello?"
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Oh, this is precious:
Coleman's Supposedly Friendly Witnesses Backfire
By Eric Kleefeld - January 27, 2009, 3:56PM
We have seen the best thing that Norm Coleman's legal team has done so far in this election trial -- and it ain't pretty.
This afternoon the Coleman team was bringing in rejected absentee voters to show that their ballots were improperly tossed. So far the court has heard from six people, most of of whom said they were contacted by the Republican Party in the last few weeks. They mostly seemed sympathetic enough, putting a human face on the disenfranchised Coleman voter -- but at least two of them appeared to have been rejected properly under the conditions of Minnesota law.
One of the voters was Douglas Thompson, who admitted under oath that his girlfriend filled out his absentee ballot application for him, signing his name with her own hand and purporting to be himself. His ballot was rejected because the signature on his ballot envelope (his own) did not match the signature on the application (his girlfriend's). The Coleman team's argument appears to be that he is still a legal voter in Minnesota, as the signature on the ballot was his own, even if admitted dishonesty was involved in getting the ballot.
Keep in mind: Thompson's story came up during the direct examination by Coleman lawyer James Langdon. So the Coleman camp fully knew this information and decided to make him into a witness.
Just read the rest. Like I said -- precious.
Halliburton to pay $559 million to settle foreign bribery charges
HOUSTON — Halliburton Co., the world's second-largest oilfield-services provider, has agreed to pay $559 million to settle federal charges that employees bribed officials in Nigeria...
Former Vice President Dick Cheney was Halliburton's chief executive from 1995 to 2000, and some of the allegations date to that period. The Justice Department did not name him in the charges.
We'll give Blogging Tory and fashion plate Adam Daifallah the last word:
One of the reasons I've always liked Dick Cheney is that he doesn't beat around the bush.
As in, "Here's what we want. And here's some money." Always the straight shooter, that Dick.
The National Post has "Bring your kid to work" Day. With amusing results.
Dear Craig: This is all the Liberals' fault. At least that's what I've heard.
AFTERSNARK (all emphasis added): From this:
Consider this statement by Harper on Oct. 6, just over three months ago:
"I know economists will say well, we could run a small deficit, but the problem is that once you cross that line, as we see in the United States, nothing stops deficits from getting larger and larger and spiralling out of control."
Budget will ensure deficit temporary, Flaherty says
Wow ... from "out of control" to "no problem, we'll have a handle on it" in the space of two and a half months. And you were all worried and everything.
Blogging Tory Mathew Siscoe does what Blogging Tories do -- makes an ass of himself:
On the Limbaugh 'controversy'
You know, it's weird - I've heard a couple of different 'pundits' on CNN exclaim that they just don't understand why Rush Limbaugh is saying what he's saying. That this is supposed to be a time of unity, and that it's wrong for Rush to be saying the things he's saying about wanting Obama to fail.
Putting aside the fact that I think Rush Limbaugh is a blowhard, where the heck do these people get off? Just because the President says it's time to get past partisan rhetoric doesn't mean everyone has to start bowing at the alter of the Obamamessiah. I think the President understand that, but the media seems to be of the opinion that if you criticize Obama you're some sort of demon.
And I thought dissent was patriotic?
Here's a thought, Mathew. When you point out that you disagree with President Chimpy McChimpster because there's no evidence for WMDs, and that an invasion will simply inflame the Mid-East and promote terrorism, and will inevitably kill countless civilians not to mention put American troops at risk, and is in a whole lot of ways a really, really bad idea, that's "dissent."
When you're a waddling, fat fuck of a serial divorcee and drug addict who simply announces that you want Obama to fail, that's not dissent -- that's being a waddling, fat fuck of a serial divorcee and drug addict who's a traitor and hates America.
I'm glad I could explain the difference.
Blogging Tory "Raging Tory" Justin "I'm a Tory, did I mention that?" Hoffer is all nad-yanky over some really, really tacky poll freeping:
An Obamabot has hacked and spammed my poll. This should be obvious, because I'm positive I don't have 100 readers yet, and this poll only allows one vote per IP address.
But hark, what ho and behold! What's this at the bottom of Justin's web page? A link? To site stats? Which enlightens us thusly:
Holy web site traffic, Justin! Look at all those visitors! That might explain things. But where did they all come from? Oh.
Don't you feel awkward having to explain to someone how their own site traffic works?
Monday, January 26, 2009
Dear evangelical, bible-thumping whackos:
Take your church teachings about "wifely submission and male headship", fold them into a point and shove them neatly up your ass. I realize you’ll probably have to maneuver around your head, but give it a try – God would want you to.
Now go fuck off.
Yours in endless disgust,
P.S. These people really are insane (emphasis all mine).
There are more blatant examples of excusing abusive male authority among stricter proponents of complementarianism and submission theology. In June 2007, professor of Christian theology at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary Bruce Ware told a Texas church that women often bring abuse on themselves by refusing to submit. And Debi Pearl, half of a husband-and-wife fundamentalist child-training ministry as well as author of the bestselling submission manual, Created to Be His Help Meet, writes that submission is so essential to God’s plan that it must be followed even to the point of allowing abuse. "When God puts you in subjection to a man whom he knows is going to cause you to suffer," she writes, "it is with the understanding that you are obeying God by enduring the wrongful suffering."
I need a martini (made with Vodka) as big as my head – it’s noon somewhere.
Does anyone else find it odd that Israel can, on the one hand, defend lobbing shells into crowded civilian areas by claiming that they have GPS and they can be incredibly precise and avoid massive civilian casualties because of their wicked cool, super-duper, high-tech accuracy yet, at the same time, dismiss wild misses that wipe out numerous citizens by saying, well, hey, shit happens, you know, we just missed, our bad. Come on, folks, you can't have it both ways.
Oh, wait, this is Israel -- they can always have it both ways.
As the wheels of justice grind slowly and stupidly on:
Guantanamo Case Files in Disarray
Situation Complicates Prison's Closure
President Obama's plans to expeditiously determine the fates of about 245 terrorism suspects held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and quickly close the military prison there were set back last week when incoming legal and national security officials -- barred until the inauguration from examining classified material on the detainees -- discovered that there were no comprehensive case files on many of them.
Instead, they found that information on individual prisoners is "scattered throughout the executive branch," a senior administration official said. The executive order Obama signed Thursday orders the prison closed within one year, and a Cabinet-level panel named to review each case separately will have to spend its initial weeks and perhaps months scouring the corners of the federal government in search of relevant material.
In unrelated news, Canadian Prime Douchebag Stephen Harper reaffirmed his commitment to not interfere in the case of long-time Guantanamo detainee and Canadian citizen Omar Khadr, emphasizing that the newly-revealed chaos of records-keeping and sleazy technical legal gimmicks suit him just fine.
Added Harper, "He's brown. What's your problem?"
Am I allowed to suggest that all those Israel fetishists for whom Israel can never, ever, ever do any wrong and for whom any Israeli military action against the Palestinians is never inappropriate or out of proportion (and for whom the very idea of a disproportionate response would seem to be theoretically impossible) are the same ones who, if you were to mow down all of the participants in a "pro-life" rally with fully automatic weapons, would immediately howl, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! That was, like, completely out of line and totally uncalled for!"
Am I allowed to suggest that? You know, just theoretically?
I am going to get in such trouble for this, aren't I?
ALL RIGHT, MIKE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY. How about, "The Israel fetishists who are perfectly fine killing Palestinian children with white phosphorus munitions are the same ones who go just plain batshit crazy when someone pushes a mouthy, harassing anti-choice demonstrator off of his car."
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I'm guessing some Blogging Tories might be a bit sheepish over this if they had any sense of guilt or accountability whatsoever:
Israel admits using white phosphorous in attacks on Gaza
After weeks of denying that it used white phosphorus in the heavily populated Gaza Strip, Israel finally admitted yesterday that the weapon was deployed in its offensive.
The army’s use of white phosphorus – which makes a distinctive shellburst of dozens of smoke trails – was reported first by The Times on January 5, when it was strenuously denied by the army. Now, in the face of mounting evidence and international outcry, Israel has been forced to backtrack on that initial denial.
But wait! There's more! Because, you see, a number of people never actually denied that Israel was using phosphorus, they were denying only that it was being used illegally because, as it turns out, there are circumstances where its use is acceptable, and the aforementioned were, like, totally hanging their argument on those exceptions:
"[U]se of white phosphorus is not specifically banned by any treaty, however protocol III of the 1980 Geneva convention prohibits the use of incendiary weapons against civilian populations or by air attack against military forces that are located within concentrations of civilians. The United States is among the nations that have not signed this protocol."
Any other exceptional conditions? Oh, look:
White phosphorus was first used as a weapon by Fenian terrorists in the 19th century. Although it can be used as an incendiary, these days WP is more commonly used to produce smokescreens as it produces very thick white smoke. (A notable exception was in the 2004 action in Fallujah, where U.S. artillery carried out "shake and bake" fire missions using a mixture of WP and high explosive shells to drive insurgents out of cover and kill them.)
In Gaza, even the Red Cross accepts that the intention is probably to use WP to create smoke rather than to deliberately injure; the Associated Press quotes the ICRC's Peter Herby as saying: "It's not very unusual to use phosphorus to create smoke or illuminate a target. We have no evidence to suggest it's being used in any other way."
So, to sum up, the use of white phosphorus would seem to be acceptable for a) laying down a smokescreen, perhaps to protect one's troops, or b) illumination (suggesting that it would have to be dark for this rationale to hold), all the while it still being unacceptable to use where there is a high concentration of civilians. Are you with me so far? Does all that sound reasonable?
Heck, even the Israeli military leans hard on the defense of "acceptable" usage:
A senior army official also admitted that shells containing phosphorus had been used in Gaza but said that they were used to provide a smokescreen.
and from that earlier Wired article:
On Tuesday, the Israeli military spokesman said that it "wishes to reiterate that it uses weapons in compliance with international law, while strictly observing that they be used in accordance with the type of combat and its characteristics."
So, with all that weaseling and tap-dancing and rationalization under our belts, let's take a closer look at the photo accompanying that article above:
Now let's be clear where I'm going with this. As Canada's Israel fetishists were defending the use of white phosphorus, their only possible explanation was that it was being used in an acceptable and legal way. That was a non-negotiable part of their argument -- there was no getting around that.
And yet, let us look closely at the photo above, where we notice:
- There do not appear to be any Israeli troops for which a smokescreen would be necessary,
- It's not night time, so there doesn't appear to be any overwhelming need for illumniation, and
- This is clearly an area full of civilians, being a U.N. school (you can even see the basketball hoop in the background).
Which leads us to ask the aforementioned Israel fetishists -- where's your argument now? We've heard your defense of white phosphorus and, by your own rules of logic, your rationale has crumbled entirely.
Would it now be unreasonable to ask for a correction or retraction on your parts? No, seriously, are any of you going to swallow hard and 'fess up that you pooched it on this issue?
I'll be right here. Stop by with a mea culpa or two. After all, confession is good for the soul. I heard that somewhere.
P.S. Oh, and the fact that Israel initially denied using WP at all is kind of precious, too.
P.P.S. These are the days I really, really miss that Blogging Tories search box. I would be having such fun with it. If you catch my drift.
AFTERSNARK: One of my favourite jokes that exposes the total weaselitude of, well, weasels:
Your Honour, my client couldn't have committed the murder since he wasn't even there. But even if he was, he didn't do it. But if he did it, it was an accident. Besides, that son of a bitch had it coming to him.
A little tweaking and ...
Israel never, ever, ever used white phosphorus munitions. But if it did, it was only in a legal and acceptable way. And if it wasn't, well, those Palestinians totally had it coming.
I'm sure you see my point.
IT'S MEA CULPA TIME, BABY! Whenever you're ready, kids. And feel free to leave links in the comments identifying other residents of Wankassville who owe us an apology. Like we're ever going to get one.
Jan 17, 2009:
This will likely be my last blog entry on the topic of abortion for a long while.
Jan 23, 2009:
I recently said I wouldn't be posting anything more on abortion "in a very long while". But ...
How exactly is it that someone who makes SUZANNE look positively even-handed when it comes to fetus fetishism is a member of Canada's "Progressive" Bloggers? I'm guessing Gordie has photos of either Saskboy with a live boy or Paladiea with a dead goat. 'Cuz, really, nothing else explains it.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy knows how to deal with that pesky deficit (emphasis tail-waggingly added):
I urge large spending cuts, cutting electoral welfare and tax cuts.
Good thinking, Doc, because cutting electoral welfare would save us, uh, about $30 million per year, which would be tackling that $32 billion/year deficit head on by knocking it down by, let me see, almost one-tenth of per cent and ... you know, Doc, it's just easier to call you a pathetic retard.
I'm curious -- did Stephen Taylor set out to collect the stupidest people in Canada, or was that just a lucky coincidence?
Shorter Papa Junker: Pardon me while I imply that Canadian soldiers are arbitrarily "gunning people down" because the Taliban totally did it first.
Maybe it’s just me, but none of the Armed Forces personnel I know has ever "gunned" anyone down -- they fired when threatened or were fired upon.
This is what is commonly known as the "Rules of Engagement", you mouthbreathing, war-porn-humping, chairborne fuckwit.
And furthermore ... I'm not saying that there have never been incidents where civilians and/or innocent bystanders were fired upon for no good reason. There have, in fact, been far too many in recent years.
What I am saying is that it's pretty fucking precious for Papa Junk to put forward the suggestion that it occurs on a regular basis and, more importantly, that the title and substance of his post appears to encourage it.
That kind of claim is a complete fucking insult to any respectable soldier.
Shorter Blogging Tory "Christian Conservative": "If you ignore actual, horrific right-wing violence, then my contention that it's the lefties who are intolerant makes perfect sense."
THE PREDICTABILITY IS SO PREDICTABLE: When confronted with this awkward observation of what kind of "traditional" marriage ChCon might be defending:
BTW marriage (in America) used to be defined as the union of a man and a woman of the same race. When marriage was redefined in 1967 it wasn't done by vote. If it was left up to popular vote then it would have probably taken decades longer to change.
ChCon simply defines that bit of historical embarrassment out of existence:
Anon@7:21, pointing out the old 1967 issue is a red-herring, because OBVIOUSLY I disagreed with that "definition" of marriage... which wasn't truly a definition of marriage, but was racisim [sic] in disguise.
Similarly, were you aware that no "leftie," under any circumstances, would threaten violence against anyone else? 'Cuz if they did, well, they're not really a "leftie."
I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.
And this week’s contestants.
Ehhh, just washed my ears and I can’t do a thing with ‘em
And so, they met, brandying their weapons
And the black k-night struck Sir Lansillyot such a resounding buffet on da helm
Dat everyting went black
And one of the most brilliant Bugs Bunny cartoons of all time, Bugs and Elmer' s rendition of Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries.
It's turned really cold out again, therefore I'm not going out. I think I'll spend the day baking. What? I'm an outstanding baker -- I find it almost Zen-like.
In fact, I have talents you people can't even begin to imagine. So there.
I do enjoy this line:
And at the very least, Conservative bloggers who lampooned us nervous Nellies, who claimed that there wasn’t a deficit and there never would be, and who lampooned Opposition proposals on the basis that they would have put us in deficit — they owe us an apology.
We can expect that apology the day Satan starts ice-skating to work.
Shorter Blogging Tory BBS: "As a member of a Canadian right-wing blogging aggregator in which not a single member actually understands how Canadian politics works with respect to things like coalition governments, let me now sanctimoniously lecture everyone on their appalling ignorance of Canadiana."
Shorter Blogging Tory Raging Tory: "Oooooooh, me too, me too."
Shorter Blogging Tory Erwin Gerrits: "I, too, would like to offer my support for meaningless, rote patriotism in support of my country, as long as it doesn't involve, you know, actually serving or in any way exerting any effort of any kind."
I have to stop now before I have an unquenchable urge to go out and strangle puppies.
Famed Evangelical Christian, wiener craving man o' gawd and meth head, Pastor Ted Haggard is back in the news. Seems Reverend Ted wasn't just buying man meat on the open market, he was also shagging "a young male church volunteer." Awesome! At this rate the Church of the Sacred Shopping Mall Jesus will soon have as much credibility as Catholic Church Incorporated. Maybe that fat old bigot and squalling blowhard Bill Donohue could sprinkle some of the magic water and share a few super crackers with Teddy and get him all converted. The Catholics have a far better track record of keeping dirty little secrets from affecting a man of the cloth's job prospects.
Poor guy was probably upset that he was giving it up for free and the Right Reverend Pastor Ted was cheating on him with a pro, not to mention his wife. Imagine being cuckold to a man whore and the beard. And kudos to the anonymous writer from AP for this line:
An overwhelming pool of evidence, eh? Does Bill Clinton know about that? All he managed was a dribbled upon blue dress. Indeed, the lawd works it in mysterious ways. Leaving the best line for last:
That's a resume quality recommendation there Teddy. Stamina!
Brady Boyd succeeded Haggard as senior pastor of the 10,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs.
He says the man came forward to church officials in late 2006 shortly after a Denver male prostitute claimed to have had a three-year cash-for-sex relationship with Haggard.
Poor guy was probably upset that he was giving it up for free and the Right Reverend Pastor Ted was cheating on him with a pro, not to mention his wife. Imagine being cuckold to a man whore and the beard. And kudos to the anonymous writer from AP for this line:
Boyd said an overwhelming pool of evidence points to an inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship.
An overwhelming pool of evidence, eh? Does Bill Clinton know about that? All he managed was a dribbled upon blue dress. Indeed, the lawd works it in mysterious ways. Leaving the best line for last:
He says it went on for a long period of time, and wasn't a one-time act.
That's a resume quality recommendation there Teddy. Stamina!
At first, I was annoyed:
Bibles reaching captive audience
By PHIL HAMILTON - The Dominion Post | Saturday, 24 January 2009
The word of God was originally delivered from on high and a Christchurch woman is attempting to take it back there.
Redcliffs architect Ria Wayne is trying to put Bibles into every Department of Conservation hut in New Zealand.
Since she began her mission eight years ago, forming charitable trust Seek Freedom, she and trust volunteers have put Bibles into 375 of DOC's 950 huts.
The idea first came to her after meeting four Australians at French Ridge Hut below Mt Aspiring who had been trapped by the weather for four days.
"I realised then this was a captive audience," she told the Salvation Army's magazine, War Cry.
Then I realized those Kiwis aren't all that dumb:
Grant Piper, a former Canterbury/Westland Alpine Club president, said it was good to have any sort of reading material in the huts.
"I don't think anyone really cares either way, so good on them," he said.
And they could definitely come in handy.
"Given the option of a ropey old Reader's Digest I would rather use a page from a Bible to start a fire."
That's the spirit, mate.
GOOD MORNING, PHARYNGULOIDS: It's Sunday morning -- shouldn't you all be in Church? Oh, and go read Larry Moran. You'll like him. Trust me.
On the other hand, if you haven't had your weekly quotient of stupid, well, buckle up ... and don't say I didn't warn you.
Shorter right-wing idiotsphere: "Those of us who went positively ballistic and wrote shrieky blog post after shrieky blog post about the vicious, life-threatening assault of that deranged, misogynistic, mouthy asshole Ed Snell are now curiously indifferent to this. It's how we roll."
Shorter Twatsy: "I'm particularly unconcerned since I think all abortion providers should be murdered, anyway. Other than that, I'm fairly pro-life."
Friday, January 23, 2009
[Moved up because, well, you all have really short attention spans. Newer snark below.]
After having waded through the uneducated, racist cesspool of hypocrisy that is the proud creation of Canadian welfare wingnut Stephen Taylor, let us refresh ourselves with the observation that good things will be happening this coming Saturday here in Waterloo, as author James Bow will be in the house:
January 24, 2009 2:00 PM
Waterloo, ON: Launch Party
Launch event for The Young City
Free to all; refreshments will be served.
Time: 2:00 p.m.
Place: Waterloo Public Library, Main Branch, 35 Albert Street, Waterloo
So drop by and bring the kids. You just never know who's going to show up. No, really, you never know.
P.S. Bring money.
Apparently, Bill Donohue has issues with the new boss. I know -- I was totally shocked to hear this, too.
News reports are that President Barack Obama will overturn restrictions on funding abortions overseas today. The Mexico City Policy, which denied federal funding of private organizations that perform and promote abortions, will be rescinded by executive order.
Catholic League president Bill Donohue addressed this decision today:
"Here we have a black president taking money from the taxpayers in a time of economic crisis and giving it to organizations—many of which are anti-Catholic—so they can spend it on killing non-white babies in Third World nations. And Obama is known as a progressive."
I got nothin'.
Oh, wait ... my mistake:
SUV smashes into Planned Parenthood in St. Paul
On the 36th anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion, a man smashed his SUV into the entrance of the Planned Parenthood office in St. Paul this morning.
Although staff members have gotten used to protests, particularly on the anniversary of the ruling, "we certainly don't expect this sort of thing," said Sarah Stoesz, the president and chief executive officer of Planned Parenthood of Minnesota, North Dakota and South Dakota. ""It's never happened before and we don't expect it to happen again."
The 32-year-old man was arrested and is expected to be charged Friday on suspicion of aggravated assault, said police spokesman Peter Panos.
"We think it's intentional because of Roe vs. Wade," Panos said. "He's not saying much. He was praying or chanting when the officers arrived."
In other news, we lefties sometimes use naughty language on our blogs, which is apparently much, much worse. Or so I've been told.
Blogging Tory "The Trusty Tory" is seriously yanked about, well:
I’m quite aware of the Constitution. Nowhere in the constitution does it allow separatist parties (you know, the whole oath to the Queen) to hold the balance of power.
Yeah ... trying to topple the governing party with the support of a bunch of fucking Canada-haters. What kind of total douche do you have to be to pull that kind of shit? Oh ...
We respectfully point out that the opposition parties, who together
constitute a majority in the House, have been in close consultation. We
believe that, should a request for dissolution arise this should give
you cause, as constitutional practice has determined, to consult the
opposition leaders and consider all of your options before exercising
your constitutional authority.
Your attention to this matter is appreciated.
Hon. Stephen Harper, P.C., M.P.
Leader of the Opposition
Leader of the Conservative Party of Canada
Gilles Duceppe, M.P.
Leader of the Bloc Quebecois
Jack Layton, M.P.
Leader of the New Democratic Party
Somehow, of course, that's different. It has to be.
Long-time employees at the U.S. State Department remember the previous Interior Secretary under a Bush administration:
“about 600 slides, each picturing the distinguished secretary, many of them taken at a national park.” One “longtime employee” groaned, “Slide after slide after slide. It was special. That’s all I should say.”
Yeah, dude, we know what you mean. Seriously.
In his perpetually adorable way, everyone's favourite mullethead Twatsy quietly follows your humble scribe around the bloggysphere, leaving little Twatsy-sized droppings wherever he goes. Oh, look -- here's Twatsy, commenting on something I linked to recently and playing scientist:
Yes, you do find weaknesses in a theory. A weakness in a theory is any related question that it can't answer.
For example, evolution is a scientifically decisive answer to the question of how life developed. However, it doesn't decisively or scientifically answer the question of where life came from in the first place.
That's a weakness of the theory. It would be wrong to teach evolution in a classroom as if it answers this question. It doesn't.
Generally, any good scientific theory has some weaknesses. That's where criticisms tend to originate from.
I could comment, but I'll let my buddy Matt do the heavy lifting here:
Go back to your undergrad sociology texts, Twats. We grown-ups will handle the real science, thanks.
UM ... TWATSY? I'm thinking that someone who still hasn't figured out the difference between triangles and not-triangles really shouldn't be lecturing the rest of us on the methodology of science. You're just going to hurt yourself.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Shorter Blogging Tory Jordan Alcock: "Nothing is ever, ever, ever our fault. Ever."
Blogging Tory "The Raging Tory", who almost certainly knows nothing whatsoever about biological evolution but whose suffocating ignorance has never stopped him before, goes full-metal, panty-tugging drama queen:
More proof of the iron fist of the scientific community.
The scientific community is dead set on Darwinism, and this, along with Ben Stein's movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, further proves how the scientific community is rather unscientific and refuses to allow people to question them.
Yes, RT, they're "dead set" on Darwinism. And, for that matter, they're pretty hard-core about that whole "Earth being round" thing. And not drilling holes in peoples' heads to let demons out, too. If I were you, I'd sue.
P.S. A general rule of thumb: If someone insists on consistently referring to biological evolution as "Darwinism," they're an idiot. You're going to have to trust me on that one.
AFTERSNARK: Hey, RT? If you're so keen on that whole "strengths and weaknesses" approach to pedagogy, how about we set aside a little time each Sunday during church service so some of us atheists can talk about Christianity. Purely from a pedagogical point of view, naturally.
First, there was the bobbled oath, which was the fault not of Barack Obama, but of right-wing Chief Justice John Roberts.
This was followed by an ABC interview, during which Obama was eminently gracious to Roberts, even going so far as to state that Roberts helped him out.
Followed, finally, by the revelation that Roberts had been practicing for this for days and still screwed it up.
All of which allows us to conclude, beyond any doubt, that the administration of Barack Obama is a complete disaster.
That is what it proves, right?