Thursday, December 25, 2008

Would someone please punch Ezra Levant in the face?


To absolutely no one's surprise, perpetual whiny douchebag Ezra Levant manages to make an even whinier douchebag of himself here:


Merry Christmas to all of my readers and supporters. Allow me to share my Christmas column that I wrote for the Calgary Sun back in 2004. With a few tweaks (I think my theological language about Jesus's birth is slightly inaccurate), I think it could run today:

Allow me to be the first Jew to say to you "Merry Christmas."

Yes, Ezra, that's terribly, terribly brave of you -- saying "Merry Christmas" in the midst of 50 bazillion, skillion other people saying exactly the same thing. One purely wonders where Ezra gets the courage. But the douchebagitude continues apace:

Once, not so long ago, the chief challenge for Christians at this time of year was putting Christ back into Christmas -- reminding the faithful that Christmas isn't just about egg nog and presents, but that it was a celebration of the Christian God and His birth.

Today, the battle isn't to keep Christ in Christmas -- it's to keep Christmas at all.

Quite right, Ezra ... because if it wasn't for Christmasy soldiers like yourself on the front line, why, I'll bet we wouldn't even know it was Christmas time at all. You stud, you. But skipping over the rest of Ezra's tampon-tugging pissing and mewling, we come to Ezra's coup de stupid -- his raison d'dumbfuck as it were:

There are many solutions needed. But the simplest is to start saying "Merry Christmas," and correcting those who don't.

I'm sorry, Ezra, come again? Did you really just say you were going to "correct" people?

There are many solutions needed. But the simplest is to start saying "Merry Christmas," and correcting those who don't.

Why, yes ... yes, he did. Free speech warrior and loud-mouthed, perpetual agent of tolerance Ezra Levant has just publicly announced that if you, for whatever reason, happen to (in the spirit of the season) wish him "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings," he will, rather than accept that in good faith and with grace, condescendingly and patronizingly "correct" you to supply the official and proper Ezra Levant-approved salutation.

Normally, we here at CC HQ don't condone physical violence but if you chance to give a winter salute to Ezra and he admonishes you that you haven't done it properly, would you please punch him in the mouth? Just once. God knows, someone should have done it a long time ago.

12 comments:

Southern Quebec said...

I think you should hit him with a candy-cane, non?

Pearce Richards said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sooey said...

Gawd. Is it STILL Christmas? Man, oh man.

But I'm saying "Merry Holidays" now. Christians hate "Merry Holidays" more'n homosexuals and Muslims combined.

Reality Bites said...

No need to punch him. Just say, "Listen, you sanctimonious twit, it's in no way required to wish someone a Merry Christmas when you know for a fact that they aren't Christian. If you want to be wished a Merry Christmas, renounce your Judaism - and Jews around the world will finally have a reason to celebrate Christmas!"

jj said...

RB - Yeah but you know how wingnuts process incoming information. He'd probably hear it as "Blah blah blah required blah blah blah renounce your Judaism blah blah blah."

Then his next post would be: "The jackboots are marching again, and as usual I am their target!!! Yesterday I got a visit from an undercover HRC Thug who demanded that I renounce my Judaism!!!"

Red Tory said...

Trust Ezra to take the fun out of Christmas. What a craptastic little pill he is.

Dr.Dawg said...

If you want to be wished a Merry Christmas, renounce your Judaism - and Jews around the world will finally have a reason to celebrate Christmas!

A keeper.

wv= "unagga"

Jennifer Smith said...

I think a toaster to the head might be in order.

(sorry - I just can't get that image out of my head)

Reality Bites said...

What a vicious slander that cartoon is JJ! I can supply three occasions when my dog (current and former) understood something the first time they heard it and acted accordingly. The phrases in question were "Excuse me" "Get your sock" and "You're not coming."

Wingnuts, of course, aren't as smart as any dog I'd ever have.

Josef said...

In case you forgot, you dildo heads... Ezra Levant is the Ace of Alberta, he is the blogger cum great warrior defending your freedom to blog up there - here's one example. You might want to stand up when he enters into the room and salute your liberator. Flowers and champagne optional.

Ezra defends free speech. What do you defend? Your asshole? Smashing the Tash? Stephane the Supine? Gilles the Traitor?

Josef said...

Another Levant posting from the front that should be required reading. I'd also go to http://www.youtube.com/user/EzraILevant and get an education about courage, patriotism and free speech. ATTEN-HUT!

Metro said...

Wait, waaaaiiiit ...

Ezra Levant wants me to be politically correct?

Am I on Candid Camera?