Fuck Canada Day. Madrid, here I come.

Given the potential utter asshattery of Canada Day in Ottawa wherein people who are total losers in every conceivable aspect of their lives (you know ... like David Menzies) are threatening to invade and have their trucks towed away again, I will be far, far away in a sane country, partaking of the native cuisine in every possible way.

Significantly, I already have a reservation at what is allegedly the oldest restaurant in the world -- Restaurant Botin, where one of the specialties is the roast suckling pig:

This will be preceded by an 8-hour layover at Pearson in Toronto, which will be somewhat ameliorated by it being spent in the Air Canada Signature Suite, where I will force myself to subsist on the decidedly sub-standard fare available:

Enjoy your hots tubs and bouncy castles, peasants. And, yes, Spain has gin. Like you had to ask.