Monday, December 28, 2009

"I'll give 'em a left, and a right, and a ... AHHHHHHH, SPIDERS!!!"

Kathy "Five Feet of Arnie and Ball-Gag" Shaidle will kick your sorry, terrorist ass:

Sometimes the only thing keeps me alive since 9/11...

is the remote chance I might one day find myself in the position to rip someone like this apart with my bare hands.

Or (via Dr. Dawg) maybe not so much:

I'll start reading the post again when they fire Dr. Dawg.

Posted by: Kathy Shaidle at December 27, 2009 8:15 AM

Yes, I'm sure the terrorists live in daily fear of someone who's too pants-pissingly afraid to read a dissenting point of view. I suspect that they do not fear for any of their body parts. On the other hand, when Kathy comes home in that kind of mood muttering about painfully removing other peoples' body parts, I'm betting Arnie dies a little inside.


deBeauxOs said...

"When Kathy comes home ..."

She leaves her batcave? When?

Ti-Guy said...

I wish someone had written this first, about La Shaidle:

Sometimes we imagine life at the [Shaidle] house as most there must know it: the long hours of tensed breaths and sneeze-covering, of flinching at the cuckoo clock and the the doorbell; the tedium of suspense. It must almost be a relief when it finally breaks, when with panic and chair legs and sawdust and spraying crockery shards, it’s one long screech and crash windmilling up and down the stairs and around the corner from the kitchen to the den, slashing the black leather sofa with a bent lawnmower blade, tantruming with arms and legs, heaving the burning dog bed into the pool.

Then the horror as [Shaidle] returns to her senses, flinging away the teeth-stripped live electrical cord with which she was menacing the salt water aquarium. Then the tears. And then, as you watch, there comes the change, like clouds closing over the moon...

Heh, indeed. Read the whole thing.

CC said...

I'm guessing it's only a matter of time before Arnie doesn't come into work for a couple days, and they find him hanging headless in the basement, filled with Kathy's eggs.

Ti-Guy said...

Speaking of which, KKKate once mentionned a father-in-law, which means there was a Mr. KKKate at some point in the past.

Any guesses as to what how exactly she removed his head once that marriage was consummated? I'm going with "unhinged jaw" but that's really kind of cliché.