Alternative Feces Substitute

The Liberal Party of Canada's bright new failure of leadership, Michael Ignatieff has taken a few moments to reflect and comment on his own redundancy. Typical of the smarmy waffling he has shown in lieu of spine, direction and charisma, the visiting professor talks out both sides of his ass.

"What Canadians want is an alternative to the Harper government, and they want to believe that I can be a good prime minister and give them an alternative government," Ignatieff told CTV's Question Period in an interview that aired Sunday.

But when asked what his biggest mistake of 2009 was, Ignatieff responded that what "(Canadians) didn't want is someone talking about an election. And somehow we got stuck with the idea that we want an election at any price.

Somehow? Somehow! Sweet crippled Jesus on a shortbus. You fucking well came out swearing you'd bring the Harper regime down, then you pissed your pants when the polls tanked and sat in that puddle of your own making and pretended it was comfie and refreshing. Canada, at this juncture, is like a battered spouse. We live in fear of the next outrage Harper might commit but we just don't know how to leave him. And I'm sure chief stroker Donolo whispers to the great man that, yes, Canadians want to believe that Iggy can be a good PM and an alternative to Harper, but there's pretty much nobody else saying it. Hell, some of the partisan loyalists are beginning to show signs of suction fatigue. But Ignatieff in his own deluded bubble continues to miss the importance of the word he keeps repeating, alternative.

Where is this grand alternative? Where is the variance of policy and demeanour that he imagines he might represent? Its a fucking lie. You can lie to yourself Iggy and your team of greased fluffers can whisper pretty lies to you but don't you dare imagine that you can lie to us and get away with it. We already have a shit spouting liar in chief and your dismal poll numbers reflect the national desire to swap him out for the extra better shit excreted from your facial sphincter.

"We've got a $56 billion deficit. We've got a million-and-a-half Canadians out of work. We've had four years where they had a chance to do something about climate change and the environment and (the Harper government has) done nothing," he said.

The Liberal party is holding a conference in Montreal in March to address such policy challenges as "meeting the climate change challenge without ... harming the economy, getting pension security for Canadians, making sure we get the economy growing again," he added.

Perhaps Canadians can reduce the debt and increase employment by becoming cobblers, a growth industry given the way you spin on your heels. Frankly, the Ignatieff experiment has had nothing to do with forming policy alternatives or addressing issues. Rather it has been one flouncing, failed attempt to appear to be an alternative instead of just presenting one. You going to erase the debt by becoming woodsy Mike and put out some more Hinterland Who's Who ads? How about battling tough guy Mike, ready to throw down... or run and hide depending on the numbers? And those would be the numbers that crested below the numbers racked up by Dion.

And what's that you're saying about environment there Mike? How do you propose to meet that "challenge" and suck off the oil industry at the same time? You don't have a plan to address climate change, global warming, ground water contamination, acid rain, habitat decimation or anything else that Canada needs to address. Because the economy you don't want to harm is raping money out of filth in the tar sands, so go fuck your self on that one Mike. You are no less a whore than Harper where it counts. You aren't an alternative, you're a dilute version of the same thing. At least Harper has a set of balls as big as his head, he doesn't shrink from his own odious ways, he doesn't pretend that he's in it for anything but power and ego. He may be a snivelling, ignorant little pissrag but Stephen Harper embraces his odious nature, he revels in corrupting and subverting Canada and its values.

And just as we've seen with the feckless centre right Democrats to our south, the castrated, centre right pin heads we call Liberals are wallowing in their own weakness and piddle as right wing interests drive their agenda unopposed. And what prevents our Liberals or their Democrats from stopping them? The simple fact that they are either in collusion or simply wish to replace them in power for the sake of power. You'd be hard pressed to slip a rolling paper thin note of policy between them because there's no honest interest in becoming an alternative. The goal is not to change course but to steer that course, wield power and reap the rewards of same. The reason that I and a lot of Canadians are either sinking into resigned apathy or fuming in anger is precisely because there is no political alternative in this country. We appear doomed to bad governance for the foreseeable future, be it blue or red. So I welcome prorogation of Parliament, let the elected hacks and whores abandon the ship of state, we're no worse off without the rotten creeps squatting on the hill.