Sometimes, the opening paragraph is all you need.

A lede that needs no explanation:

WASHINGTON (AFP) — US lawmakers Monday grilled the head of Lehman Brothers demanding he justify some 500 million dollars he had earned since 2000, as well as huge bonuses sought for top executives even as the bank failed.

Feel free to just make up the rest of the article on your own -- I'm sure your version will make at least as much sense.

WELL, fuck me. Who could have imagined? Sorry, Hunter, what was that again? Oh, right ... socialism sucks. Thanks for clarifying that for us. It's always nice to know what the intellectually bereft are thinking these days.

P.S. I'm sure Canada's Blogging Tories, who are fiscally prudent to the point where they're all for slashing funding for the arts, will be fumingly outraged by this egregious fraud perpetrated on the American taxpayer. Just you wait for that outrage. Yes sir, just you wait. Here it comes. It's coming, I'm telling you. Soon. Real soon.

Real soon ...