Big Daddy speaks.

Giving his best impression of someone who might actually care, Big Daddy Harper gave a wide-ranging year-end interview to Peter Mansbridge. In his soon-to-be patented sanctimonious father-knows-best manner, Big Daddy pontificated on several subjects.

On the environment:

"There is a reason why previous governments have avoided at all levels setting mandatory emission targets." Harper said.

"As soon as you're dedicated to actually reducing emissions, that imposes costs on the economy. It imposes them in the short run."

While he said the costs will be manageable, they will provoke some reaction.

"And I'd ask your viewers to think of that whenever they have other people out there saying we should be doing more. Because once we start … these things start biting, the criticism we're going to be getting is that we're doing too much."

Harper said he is already starting to hear the first cries from industry and the provinces about the upcoming emissions targets.

Everybody’s bitching about global warming and now that I’m pretending to do something about it, I get shit for it. So don’t come crying to me when things cost more, okay? Besides the Liberals did nothing, NOTHING in their 800 endless years of Godless Liberal rule.

The Mulroney inquiry:

Harper has named University of Waterloo president David Johnston to define the parameters for the inquiry. A final report to the prime minister is due by Jan. 11.

But the prime minister suggested that an inquiry is not a sure thing.

"I frankly have never wanted to make this call myself. I don't think Canadians would necessarily see me or this government as terribly objective on this matter," Harper said.

But when asked what might happen if Johnston advises him not to have an inquiry into the affair, Harper responded: "I think whatever advice David Johnston gives us, it's almost a certainty that that is the advice we will follow because from the beginning I have not wanted to be in a position of adjudicating what should or shouldn't be done with former prime ministers.

"I feel extremely awkward about that. I feel particularly awkward in the case of Mr. Mulroney."

And when I say former prime ministers, I really mean former Conservative prime ministers. The former Liberals – I could point fingers at them until the cows come home. And Canadians would thank me for my non-partisan Liberal finger-pointing, of that I’m sure.

And last, but not least, the trumped-up isotope crisis:

He rejected he had made a partisan attack when he referred to the Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission as "Liberal appointed." He said he was just expressing his frustration with the regulatory body's decision.

The shutdown had created a shortage of the nuclear material used for life-saving diagnostic scans and for medical imaging for fractures, cancers and heart conditions

"I don't believe the actions of the nuclear commission were motivated by partisan considerations," Harper said. "I do believe the course of action contemplated was extremely ill-advised. An appalling use of authority and judgment. And one that the government had to deal with."

Of course, I wasn’t being partisan. All I did was point out that a Liberal appointee had screwed up as only a Liberal appointee can. If she’d been appointed by a Conservative, I would’ve blamed some other Liberal appointee in a completely non-partisan manner. God, you people are so thick.

So to sum up, Big Daddy is not necessarily doing what the people want; he’s doing what he thinks they should want. And he’s always right so just shut up and keep your opinions to yourself,okay? Do you want to be grounded for Christmas?