Jesus' General misses the boat.

General JC Christian, Patriot

Dear General:

I read with some interest your letter to religious wingnut and "moral compass" Dennis Prager, commiserating about the crumbling of his marriage. You suggest that it might have something to do with the pernicious effect of the same-sex marriage of Elton John. Speaking as a Canadian, I suspect there might be a simpler explanation.

Given that Mr. Prager is based in LA, it's unlikely that Mr. John's marriage would have had that kind of effect over that distance. However, given that same-sex marriage is now legal in Canada, it is possible that the combined force of what we up here call "homosexual sex marriage" might have had something to do with Mr. Prager's divorce.

At the very least, we should be on guard and monitor the divorce rate along the border states -- Washington, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota and so on -- to spot any suspicious rise in heterosexual divorce since, as we all know, the sanctity-destroying power of gay marriage knows no international boundaries.

We do have to be careful in extrapolating too far, however. We're pretty sure that we're not responsible for Republicans having sex with mules in Georgia. The geography just makes that unlikely, don't you think?

Reporting in from the front lines in the war on marriage,
CC