Friday, October 31, 2008

Holy crap ...

... the burning stupid!

IN HINDSIGHT, IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS: And with unlimited time, wouldn't it be hysterical to crawl through the smoldering wreckage of what passes for right-wing thought and collect insipid rantings like this:

Roy Eappen said...

Sarah Palin is an amazing choice. The misogyny of the left is always exposed in these situations.

They don't want women's rights on;y [sic] leftist women's rights.

Where do you even begin ...

Do you hear footsteps?

A show of hands, please — who's read Stephen King’s "The Stand"? Thanks to the Boy Emperor’s excellent planning, someday we might be living it.

Much of the University of Texas medical school on this island suffered flood damage during Hurricane Ike, except for one gleaming new building, a national biological defense laboratory that will soon house some of the most deadly diseases in the world.

How a laboratory where scientists plan to study viruses like Ebola and Marburg ended up on a barrier island where hurricanes regularly wreak havoc puzzles some environmentalists and community leaders.

“It’s crazy, in my mind,” said Jim Blackburn, an environmental lawyer in Houston. “I just find an amazing willingness among the people on the Texas coast to accept risks that a lot of people in the country would not accept.”

That's just super.

He's not trying to be a screeching hypocrite, he is merely succeeding.

Over at "Freedom is my Nationality," Blogging Tory Hugh MacIntyre would like to not talk about the impending federal deficit so he can whine on and on about Toronto's debt.

Let's take careful note of Hugh's position today, shall we?

Deficit spending does not work. Government spending does not generate real productivity and large debt hinders long term growth.

And let's check back in a few months when, under a Stephen Harper-induced deficit, Hugh will be happy to tell that of course running deficits during tough times is exactly the way to stimulate the economy and this just proves that Stephen Harper is the right man for the job.

It will also demonstrate "leadership."

Dear Ezra: Shut up.

Whine, whine, whine. Reality.

Fuck off, Ezra.


This is why I read Impolitical.

LuLu Wants To Click The Button! Yes...

Buckle up, kids ... this is going to get ugly.

Canada's wingnuttiest Intelligent Design wingnut Denyse O'Leary at least gives us fair warning:

I am shortly going to be writing several posts about the Catholic Church, Darwinism, and intelligent design.

Somewhere, testicles are shrivelling up into body cavities in horror.

You can almost hear the wistful sighing from here.

12-year-old Blogging Tory "Hunter" lets her girly-girl crush on Sarah Palin get the best of her.

Ewwwwwwwwwww. Really, just ewwwwwwwwww.

P.S. The thought of Hunter accusing someone else of being "all fluff and no substance" while creaming herself over Sarah Palin is almost crippling in its irony, isn't it?

BY THE WAY, Hunter, really principled politicians that are worthy of your fawning adulation shouldn't be the ones who have already thrown their running mate under a bus before the election. But I'm guessing you wouldn't recognize principle if it walked up and whapped you with a French loaf.

: There is virtually not a single sentence in that Hunter post that doesn't absolutely drip with idiocy. Take this one, in which Hunter can comfortably diss Obama because of her antenna stalks or something:

Dating is a scary thing for a female, so most of us rely on that 6th sense. My antenna started twitching the minute I heard Obama speak, he reminded me of a used car salesman, promising me the car was sound, while crossing his fingers behind his back, and grinning at me.

Ah, female intuition, is that it, Hunter? This would, naturally, be the same female intuition that tells Hunter to worship Palin lovingly from afar, even as some of the biggest dingbat conservatives around have finally twigged to what a whackjob she is.

God, what a legacy Stephen Taylor is going to have to answer for.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Cabinet. A Fancy Name For Closet.

And they're out... er, off!

Now that Canada's New New Government has cursed, or sworn in Prince Steve's new Cabinet of Horrors in front of the massive queer powered painting of teh Gay! It is likely only a matter of hours until we get reports of young Stockwell, knees up in an airport crapper begging for musky loads. Why oh why did no one listen to Chuck McVety?

Subliminal? Why do you ask?

There's just something about that John McCain ad I can't put my finger on ...

(Wag of the tail to FireDogLake.)

The Conservative Party of Musical Chairs.

Shorter Stephen Harper: "Well, since that last set of cabinet appointments was a complete and total clusterfuck, let's try it this way."

Yes, Lisa, we're talking about you.

Hilariously, SiteMeter tells me that we here at CC HQ have had a number of hits today from Natural Resources Canada (the new purview of the newly-elected Lisa Raitt), all of them searching on (you guessed it) "Lisa Raitt", and ending up here and here.

Yeah, that amuses me, too.

Dear Kate:

In response to your perpetual whiny query of, "Is there nothing Obama can't do?", the answer would be, no, there isn't.

But thanks for asking.

No shit, Sherlock.

Crack investigative blogger and party insider Stephen Taylor pulls back the curtain to reveal the mysterious and heretofore never exposed inner workings of the Stephen Harper Party of Canada:

After new ministers are sworn in at Rideau Hall they’ll be immediately driven off to Parliament Hill for the first meeting of the new cabinet in Centre Block in room 323-S.

An initiation ceremony, a rare viewing of the Hidden Agenda, and an extensive discussion of Canada’s current and projected economic footing are expected.

There. Don't you feel smarter already?

One down, three to go.

Cpl. Benjamin Monty Robinson, come on down!!

The new cabinet's here! The new cabinet's here!

Well, not quite ... but the burning question is -- just how hysterically, howlingly incompetent will the new cabinet be? Which cement-headed, intellectually-crippled cretins will be promoted beyond their skill sets? Let's watch.

PERSONALLY, I like the idea of John Baird being transferred to a new cabinet post. Just think ... a whole new business demographic to shriek at insanely:

OK, that last one was for "NAMBLA" Dick Evans. Something for everyone, that's what I always say.

There's stupid ...

... and there's Blogging Tory Paul "Celestial Junk" stupid:

The McCain camp has now joined those demanding The Los Angeles Times release a 2003 video that shows Barack Obama celebrating with a group of Palestinians hostile to Israel.

Peter Wallsten wrote in April about Obama's association with former Palestinian operative Rashid Khalidi. The celebration was a farewell for Khalidi as he left Chicago for a job in New York. Wallsten called Khalidi a, "critic of Israel and advocate for Palestinian rights.

"He says, "A special tribute came from Khalidi's friend and frequent dinner companion, the young State Senator Barack Obama... Obama reminisced about meals prepared by Khalidi's wife... and conversations that had challenged his thinking.

Khalidi ... Khalidi ... oh, right! That Rashid Khalidi.

And this is why we mock them ... because they're idiots. Seriously, just total fucking idiots.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

OK, this is amusing.

Clean Up In Aisle 4

Here's the aftermath of the truck that didn't get away. The big slab of concrete in the foreground of this first shot was snapped quite cleanly in half and tossed  a good two metres. The chewed up plant bed near the sidewalk used to be home to quite a nice steel light fixture set into a slab of concrete. It seems to have vapourized as I saw no evidence of it on the grass.

The concrete slab that the wall was sitting on was lifted an inch or two clear of the ground.

Turns out the truck had been stopped for a routine violation, when the officer approached the vehicle he took off. The high speed chase ended here. The driver is really damned lucky that he isn't facing vehicular homicide charges. This all took place on the sidewalk beside the bus terminal at peak traffic time, right after school let out. The driver of the bus I rode today recognized me and said he'd seen the whole thing. By his estimation the truck missed me by about a foot and he wasn't sure I'd actually cleared the vehicle until it was passing me. The sudden sprint, adrenalin and knapsack I was carrying have combined to put a twinge in my neck, could have been one messy bunch worse. That's enough close calls for the time being thanks.

You keep using that word "progressive" ...

Methinks the Progressive Bloggers of Canada tent just got a little too big:

In defense of religion,Amen
October 29, 2008 by admin

There is satire and there is ridicule.

Sarah Dreier,of Faith and Progressive Policy an initiative of the Center for American Progress,reviews Bill Maher’s film ‘Religulous’. She demonstrates,quite convincingly,that the film is just faith bashing of the most pedestrian kind.

She writes how Maher cherry picks,using religious fanatics to illustrate how believers are supposedly feeble minded...

For whatever reason there seems to be a trend of late,Dawkins,Hitchens,and now Bill Maher of all people,aimed at ridiculing people of faith.

The question being why ?

Because religion is a ridiculous and utterly unsupportable belief in indefensible nonsense and invisible sky fairies. What the hell part of that have you never figured out?

When exactly did the word "progressive" lose its meaning?

Your mind-numbing Denyseitude.

Canadian blithering ID wingnut Denyse O'Leary is sad:

Few Catholic reporters know much about the actual arguments and evidence in the intelligent design controversy.

Well, that's obviously because they haven't seen the movie "Expelled," which Denyse has been pimping lovingly and moaning over for months and which would have made the controversy perfectly clear, right, Denyse? Right? Right? Oh, wait:

Two nights ago, I finally saw the Expelled film ... the film badly needed an explanation of why there is an intelligent design controversy.

Canadian creationist dingbat Denyse O'Leary -- still struggling to connect the dots between A and B.

I'm sure the hilarity is unintentional.

Blogging Tory "the lotusland soapbox" deigns to lecture us on political gender equality:

Take THAT, Affirmative Action!

In spite of no quotas, the Conservatives elect more women candidates (and a higher percentage) than any other party.

As I said when Dion came out with the quota idea, it's about quality, not quantity.

Maybe it's just me, but when I hear the names Rona Ambrose, Cheryl Gallant, Helena Guergis and Bev Oda, "quality" isn't the first word that leaps to mind.

Yeah, I'm sure it's just me.

Ah, the irony of it all.

The Canadian Dumbass-o-sphere briefly stops shrieking hysterically about the socialist, Marxist, communist horror of "redistributing the wealth" long enough to redistribute the wealth in Ezra Levant's direction.

Wouldn't it be simpler if Ezra just stopped doing shit that was, you know, legally actionable?

When Canadian conservative intellectualism goes horribly, horribly wrong.

And when the day comes to finally summarize the journalistic legacy of Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor, I'm thinking that the first words out of his mouth will be, "Richard Ball? Never heard of him."

Aren't the children adorable?

Why 12-year-olds shouldn't blog. Now give the keyboard back to Daddy, Hunter. That's a good girl.

P.S. Would someone please explain to Hunter the difference between "prospective" and "perspective"? Just so she doesn't look quite so illiterate.

Relatively speaking, Kate might have a point.

In the country of the truly moronic, the only partially moronic will be queen?

SDA Nation: Because even Bible-whomping, illiterate, white trash, mooseburger-eating divas from Alaska need someone to look down on intellectually.

: Commenter "steve" drops by Kate's Dead Jew Roadhouse and squeezes his way between the drunk skinheads from Stormfront and the fat chick with the swastikas tattooed on her tits to leave a cogent comment:


Slow news day ...

... on the Blogging Tory dead minority beat.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I’m sure you’re all just super jealous that it doesn’t look like this outside your front door.

And for your big fat information, I know it's out of focus. Considering the way the wind is gusting, I'm lucky I didn't get blown off my front porch.

So there.

I'm so lucky ... it's sticking.

Batshit. Fucking. Crazy.

When even Fox News is rolling their eyes at you, you're pretty well toast.

Why iPods Are Bad.

About five minutes ago, a lunatic in what I presume was a stolen pickup truck, came screaming down the sidewalk. I had time to turn, register what was happening and run like fuckin' hell. The truck missed me by a matter of maybe two feet, careened through an intersection, leapt the far curb and demolished the large brick sign at the entrance to my building. One of the witnesses said if I'd been wearing headphones, I'd have been under a sheet. I have to agree, if someone less agile had been in my place they'd be dead. While I wait for my hands to stop shaking and my heartrate to descend back to double digits I think I'll go have a wash.

Rockin' down the house, PSA-style.

"Journey! Play some Journey, dude!"

Apparently, CC HQ's own PSA -- along with his backup band "They Might Be Mulletheads" -- is going to be rockin' the joint here in town this Saturday evening. Rumour has it that the music will be loud and beer will be purchaseable.

So if you have nothing better to do this Saturday here in K-W (and, trust me, it's K-W so you can't possibly have anything better to do), drop me a note offline and I'll fill you in.

Weird, boneheaded quote of the day.

"This accident was truly a mystery to me," said Bizilj, director of emergency medicine at Johnson Memorial Hospital in Stafford, Conn. "This is a horrible event, a horrible travesty, and I really don't know why it happened."

Yeah, it's a puzzler, all right. A real stumper. Children and fully automatic weapons -- what could possibly go wrong?

Apparently, panty-tugging outrage is context dependent.

Shorter Canadian Dumbshit-o-sphere: "Having been, until now, monumentally indifferent to massive violations of campaign spending limits, we are suddenly terrifically interested in election law."

Fucking liberal media and their fucking facts and everything.

Shorter The Politic's Greg Farries: "The fact that the McCain-Palin ticket consists of a cantankerous, hypocritical, opportunistic, flip-flopping sleazebag and pathological liar with horrific anger management issues and a self-absorbed, ignorant, anti-Semitic, young earth creationist, End Times dingbat and narcissistic, back-stabbing diva should in no way give the media the idea that they're allowed to point that out."

P.S. Dear Greg: Us real bloggers understand the difference between "your" and "you're", and when each one is appropriate. I'm just sayin'.

AFTERSNARK: Greg might want to have a chat with his co-blogger Adam. Apparently, Adam didn't get Greg's latest memo. Dontcha just hate it when someone strays off-message like that, Greg?

And this is why we mock them.

And having made a passionate, eloquent and heartfelt plea that the phrase "Never again" be the exclusive property of those who want to remember the genuine horrors of the Holocaust, Blogging Tory "Canadianna" decides that, if John McCain wants to use it in the context of protecting against storm damage, well, she's open-mindedly good with that, too.

I believe we'll give Cameron the last word.

It's because I'm special, that's why.

Pharyngulaing in Toronto (and Guelph). And unlike the normal people, your humble scribe gets to hang with PZ and the gang earlier that day, swilling beer, mocking the religious and making fun of Denyse O'Leary. It should be fun. I'll bring y'all back a consecrated communion wafer as a souvenir.

Monday, October 27, 2008


The economic fallout of these times hasn't really settled in everywhere. These communities in California are where the truth is too shockingly apparent. Where have these folks all gone?

Dear (insert deity of choice):

Are you fucking kidding me?

That’s it — I’m moving to Aruba. Who’s with me?

And furthermore. Guess who just called my place? Go on ... guess.

If you said my mother, you'd be totally right. Now where did I put the martini glasses? I need one for each hand, don't you know.

Yesterday's infantile snark is apparently inoperative.

Blogging Tory "Sara" would like to take a brief break from being contemptuously dismissive of the "nanny state" to invite you to a rally where they will demand more government money so that elderly grandparents can be better, uh, nannies.

The lack of self-awareness is truly breathtaking, isn't it?

Uh oh ...

... this doesn't look good:

WASHINGTON - A plot by two Neo-Nazi skinheads to assassinate Barack Obama and kill dozens of other African Americans has been foiled, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms said Monday.

In moderately-related news, numerous members of "SDA Nation" all claim that they have alibis and, besides, they don't even know those two guys. Well, OK, maybe they bumped into them at a party once, but that's all.

Um, yeah, there's that little detail, isn't there, Paul?

Over at "Celestial Junk," Paul is just strutting around his rec room with his 5-inch woody:

... That is what our soldiers do. They hunt thugs while protecting the most defenseless. That is why we support them ... and why some of us have a hard time suffering the illogic of the greatest parasites of freedom ever known ... Western bleeding-heart Liberals.

Fuckin' A, Paul! Protect the weak and the defenseless, that's what our fighting men and women are all about. Well, OK, until 2011, at which point the weak and defenseless can fucking look after themselves, so long and thanks for all the casualties.

So sayeth Paul, blogging from "the Right side of the aisle," which one assumes is in his finished basement in a quaint little bungalow, a comfortable several thousand kilometers from the actual action.

Dear Kate: Let me handle that one for you.

In response to Canada's Most Bestest Superest Awesomest Blogger Kate McMillan's constant, pissy, whiny, grating, that-time-of-the-month ragging question, "Is There Nothing That Obama Can't Do?," the answer is, no, Kate, there isn't.

Now shut up and fuck off, you worthless, screechy harridan.

Oh ... so that's what an orgasm looks like.

Funny or creepy ... you make the call.

Caption contest!

The blogger registration table at the upcoming CPoC national convention:

Take it away, kids.

It's not their fault.

It's never their fault, is it?

From the Department of "Well, duh!"

Paging Mr. Obvious:

Published: October 27, 2008

The Republican center is giving way, and some on the political right are in retreat. Time for John McCain to finally make his case.

Good thinking, Bill. I wouldn't leave it much later if I were him.

P.S. And that's why Bill Kristol is an obscenely highly paid political pundit, and you're not.

I'm a faggot, you're a faggot ... we are all Spartafaggot.

Well, don't that just beat all? Via "Slap Upside the Head," we learn that Canada is officially, well, faggoty. Can the official homosexual agenda be far behind?

Freep that poll, baby! Freep it!

Go. Now.

(Wag of the tail to PZ.)

: Tune in tomorrow when the same people who think the CPoC getting less than 40% of the popular vote represents a "mandate" will dismiss 90% as utterly, utterly irrelevant and who cares what a bunch of leftard freepers think, anyway? You know it's coming.

Conservative Party to Jews: Yeah, yeah, Holocaust, whatever.

Along with numerous other intellectually-stunted Blogging Tories, "Canadi-anna" strokes herself into a state of high dudgeon over those horrible, horrible anti-Semites and their poorly-chosen words:

Never again. When you hear those words, it evokes an image doesn't it?

Yes, Canadi-anna, dear, it does -- it evokes an image of Conservative Party of Canada House Leader Peter Van Loan talking about fixed election dates:

Never again will the government of the day be able to play around with the date of an election for its own crass political motives.

And now, Canadi-anna, sweetie, who don't you and the rest of your uneducated, hypocritical, shrieking Blogging Tory fake outrage circle jerk dimwits please just fucking shut the fucking fuck up, for fuck's sake? That's a good little dumbfuck, dear.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The world's most gullible blogger strikes again.

Blogging Tory Jonathan Strong once again embarrasses his species, and pretty much all multi-celled organisms in general:

Biden Gets First Tough Interview of the Campaign

Finally some tough questions, and Joe "Gaffe Machine" Biden can't handle it.

Yes, Jonathan. Say, I'm curious ... where do you think that reporter got such hysterically asinine dumbass questions, anyway? Oh ...

Orlando TV "Journalist" Barbara West's Husband is a GOP Media Consultant

Joe Biden got asked some questions from Orlando WFTV reporter Barbara West on Thursday that where [sic] completely false...

Well it turns out that her husband, Wade West, is a political and media consultant for Republican politicians. The GOP talking points Barbara West used in her interview may have come directly from the McCain Palin communications team via her husband Wade.

In other news, Jonathan Strong is a total fucking idiot. Oh, wait ... that's not really news.

Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories: Because even the intellectual dregs of society deserve to have a social club.

AFTERSNARK: As I've already pointed out, that insufferable twatwaffle West is getting her head handed to her by numerous folks. None of this will matter to Jonathan, because he's an idiot.

Undecided No More!

Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain

Sweet tap-dancing Christ.

Speaking of whacking creationists ...

Some students burst into tears when a high school biology told them they’d be studying evolution. Another teacher said some students repeatedly screamed “no” when he began talking about it.

Other teachers said students demanded to know whether they pray and questioned why the had to learn about evolution if it was just a theory.

And people wonder why American society is so fucked up. Well, wonder no more, boys and girls ... it's because people like this are trying to force their ignorant, uninformed views on everyone.

And furthermore.
If Big Daddy and the rest of his merry band of mouthbreathing, bible-thumping wingnuts ever manage to get a majority, this could be where we’re headed.

I’m just sayin’.


Yeah, that's funny.

Sunday Funnies.

Yes, yes, I’m late but I have a really good excuse. Okay, I don’t but let’s just pretend I do ...

For your viewing pleasure, "The Princess Bride" in 5 minutes — it's quite brilliant.

CTV now pimping for John McCain. I'm shocked.

CTV would like you to know that, despite obvious concerns, there's no real worry about John McCain's health:

The health of the presidential and vice-presidential candidates has been at the forefront of this U.S. election campaign, particularly because at age 72 McCain would be the country's oldest president if elected.

To prove his physical fitness, McCain released more than 1,000 pages of medical records last spring.

Yeah, he released his medical records. So what's your problem? Oh, that (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

Three weeks ago, John McCain, who would be the oldest president in history if elected, released 1,173 pages of his medical records to the press. He did so only after a series of delays, however, and then granted a pool of about a dozen news outlets access to them for three hours, with no photocopying allowed.

In other words, here you go, kids, you have exactly 9.2 seconds per page to fight over this stuff, and you can't take any of it with you. Gee, CTV, you think that tidbit might have been just the teeniest bit newsworthy?

Liberal 308: Let me make a suggestion.

Via Scott Tribe, we learn of the well-meaning twits behind "Liberal 308":

We need to rebuild and renew the Liberal Party and Liberalism in Canada. Liberal 308 is a pilot project for this renewal. What does Liberal 308 mean?

Here, let me make a suggestion for what it should mean -- it should mean an initial savage and bloody purge from the Liberal ranks of worthless assholes like this:

A motion to reopen the same-sex marriage debate was easily defeated in Parliament on Thursday, as expected...

Thirteen Liberals supported the motion...

Same-sex marriage became legal in Canada last year when the Liberal government passed Bill C-38 in response to a series of court rulings that said gays had the right to marry.

That bill passed 158-133.

Thirty-two Liberals voted against it, ...

And as long as the Liberal Party is a comfortable home for people who think so little of fundamental rights and equality, they can fuck right off. Once you drive ignorant bigots like that from the party with torches and pitchforks, then we'll talk. But not before then.

If it's Sunday, I should whack a creationist.

Even after all this time, I still get an occasional link to this early piece. Yeah, I'm proud of that one.

It's because they lie. All the time.

In which the eminent Dr. Dawg discovers that NAMBLA devotee and disastrously failed Calgary political candidate Dick Evans is a lying douchebag, something we here at CC HQ have known for quite some time.

By the way, Dick, still waiting for that evidence. Dum de dum dum ...

When reality is hard werk.

Blogging Tory "Vancouver Secrets" goes all Steve Janke and sniffs out that nasty left-wing media bias:

Tough to win an election when the Big three networks all conspire against you… by burying anything that might compromise the Democrats.

In other news, John McCain is an honest, straight-talkin', mavericky war hero Washington outsider who's going to come in and clean things up and lone wolf mavericky maverickyness and stuff like that there.

It must be true ... I saw it on TV once. Maybe twice.

P.S. And he was a POW. Did you know that? I didn't know that.

BONUS TRACK: VS gets all pearl clutchy about Joe Biden getting miffed with really fucking stupid media people. Yes, VS ... as a Blogging Tory, you're just the person to take the moral high ground on politicians dissing the media.

No, really, keep whining ... I need the entertainment value. I think we have a whole new candidate in the "Stupidest Blogging Tory Imaginable" Sweepstakes. "Hunter" and Jonathan Strong should be seriously worried about their titles.

DOUBLE PLUS GOOD BONUS TRACK: Think Progress lays a pasting on that vile cretin Barbara West.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

And Furthermore...


That's right.

The honeymoon's over, bitch.

Not long ago, they were so much in love. Oh, dear.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, God, the entertainment value.

Quote of the day.

From the comments section: "They can’t even beat themselves up properly."

Seriously, the best part of this is that a really, really stupid Republican will now have her public humiliation and shame follow her around forever. With any luck, it will ruin her career prospects for the rest of her life. It's time these people suffered for their sins.

Yeah, let's talk about civility.

Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with these people?



That is all.

Saturday Morning Cartoons.

I’m here, I’m here
Let the bells ring out and the banners fly

And as a one-time special offer, good only for today, one of the best scenes in the history of Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Fucking liberal media.

Dontcha just hate all that state-sponsored leftism?


Spreading misfortune and misery wherever she goes ...

His economic theory, which he thought of, which is his.

Over at Small Dead but Still Funny Jews, guest poster Lance has some novel ideas on economics:

When asked whether he ever ran a balance on his credit cards, Lance replied, "Um ... what's your point?"

Friday, October 24, 2008

Vote Thing!

Caligula for President: It's Time for a Tyrant from Cintra Wilson on Vimeo.

Sarah Palin doesn't care about your murdered fetus.

And if a pipe bomb comes through the window and kills pregnant women and their unborn children, Sarah Palin isn't quite sure how upset she's going to be.

Apparently, "pro-life" just became context-dependent.

Dear Canadian "free speech warriors" ...

"Hello? Hello? *Tap* *tap* *tap*. Is this thing on?"

They're slow in more ways than one.

Having established, at least a couple of ice ages ago, that the Doughy Pantload's book "Liberal Fascism" was a huge, steaming turd of mind-melting boneheadedness, one wonders who might still take it seriously and, more to the point, who might only now be getting around to being aware of it.


She's really just scary, isn't she?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sometimes, there are no words.

Shorter Blogging Tory Jonathan Strong: "I am easily the stupidest person you will ever meet. Let me demonstrate. Again."

And now, a little Denyseitude.

We haven't slapped the crap out of Intelligent Design crackpot Denyse O'Leary for a while so, mercifully, PZ saves me the trouble, even if it's only for a couple of sentences.

I seriously believe that that woman is too stupid to even be a Blogging Tory.

Nobody tell Neo.

This will just break his heart ... or whatever passes for it.

Manitoba and Winnipeg are once again leading Canada in murders, according to a Statistics Canada report released Thursday. There were 62 homicides in Manitoba last year — the highest number since data were first collected in 1961, and up from 39 killings in 2006.

On a per-capita basis, Manitoba recorded the highest homicide rate in the provinces, at 5.22 per 100,000, almost double the rates of second-place Saskatchewan and third-place Alberta. Among major cities, Winnipeg led with 3.55 homicides per 100,000 people. Edmonton was second at 3.28 and Calgary was third at 3.14.

And not a single word about Toronto to be found. Damned lying, elitist, liberal media.

Just when you think they can't get any more despicable ...

Shorter Republican Party: "In the interests of democracy, can we throw away all of the votes that aren't for us?"

Bye, bye, Rethuglican wingnuts.

And from the Department of Going Down in Flames, we have these exciting new developments from down south here and here. Apparently, even the GOP has finally twigged to the fact that some of their candidates are truly, truly vile people.

Sorry, Karl, I can't hear you ... could you speak up a bit?

You don't need to read past the headline.

And after having taken credit for every goddamned thing that ever happened anywhere in Canada over the last two and a half years, Stephen Harper and his perky collection of narcissistic, KoolAid-swilling brownshirts is finally willing to let others get involved:

Tories brace for deficit, plan to share blame

The Stephen Harper Party of Canada: Privatizing the credit and socializing the blame since 2006.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, this is precious. Sandy Crux's rancidly misleading and dishonest list of CPoC "accomplishments" seems to have ended up here, where failed CPoC Guelph candidate Gloria Kovach appears to have stolen chunks of Sandy's list wholesale.

Tha amusing part is that Kovach gives Sandy no credit whatsoever, and even stakes ownership of all that content with, "This website is the property of the Gloria Kovach Campaign and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without express written permission."

Poor Sandy. So badly wanting credit for all her work. So badly getting boned up the ass by people who stole it and didn't even mention her name. That has to hurt.

BONUS TRACK: Perhaps the funniest thing Sandy Crux ever did with respect to her festering compost heap of CPoC "accomplishments" was to try to restrict its freedom for reproduction to only her ideological fellow travellers. James Bow lowered the boom on Sandy for that here. And James doesn't lower the boom lightly.

Damn ... did I just say that out loud?

Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor is all a-twitter over inappropriate, cross-border public politicking. And he has a point -- you don't loudly cheer on your international colleagues; rather, you sell your country out to them quietly and behind closed doors.

Thanks, Stephen ... we'll keep that in mind for next time.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Just when you think you've reached the bottom of the barrel, ...

... someone comes along and lifts up the barrel.


Indeed. And doesn't that put a wingnut-sized crimp in the plans of some whackjobs to out anonymous bloggers and threaten them with physical violence?

Sorry, PSA ...

... but this is way too funny not to share:

Who the fuck snuck in while we weren't looking and gave Chris Matthews a spine? Jesus!

Buck Ofama and Buck McFain

Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to scoop out two thirds of my brain and become a blogging toerag, completely unaffected by reality or common sense. I keep looking around at current events and politics and I just can't see any logic to the way people and organizations are behaving. Neither pole nor the middle of the political spectrum in North America seems to have a grip on reality. It doesn't seem to matter how vile things get we just keep following the best idea George W. Bush ever had. Keep on shopping. We're shopping for leaders by how squishy they make us feel and rejecting anything that doesn't meet the most unreal of criteria. The brilliant guy with a load of relevant experience and the courage to make change... fuck that guy. We want the guy who looks dashing and just repeats the word "change" with no discernible plan to enact it. We reject one guy because his image has been dragged through the mud and we select another because he's a fucking bully, then we accept that as the definition of leadership. Mean and low has come to mean courageous, while calm and measured is the sign of the wimp. Boy howdy, that is some stupid.

Residents of the Canadian bloghovels have been tripping over each other to mark out their territory in another country's election and the sorry state of our own national politics is a distant afterthought. I mean really, how important can our own government be when there is such "drama" playing out somewhere else. Oh golly, who do you think is going to get voted off the island? It is all positively transformative! It makes me cry and pee-spot my kit at the very thought of our next president... that isn't fucking ours.

Steve Harper, this is your lucky autumn! Sure, you're the newly re-elected Prime Minister but right about now you could actually start eating those cute, little baby kittens on live television and nobody would notice. Your massive new minority mandate to rule as you see fit, untroubled by a pesky opposition, is guaranteed. The Liberals, for all intents and purposes, are no longer a political party in the sense of a group of elected representatives representing. Nope, they're pretty much a gang of irrelevant losers jockeying to see who gets to be king of the short bus, who gets to wear the the bright red CCM helmet of authority. You can smell the piddle from here. They won't pose much of a threat to your autocracy any time soon. The NDP are revelling in their new and improved 4th place and the Bloc will actually have some questions for you to answer but since they're all Frenchers you don't have to respect them like they were real folk. As a distraction and attention-span quashing device, the snap election was a rousing success. In 'n' Out scandal... pshaw, all of those committees, questions and investigations are yesterday's news and did you hear about Sarah's makeover? Squeeeee! ZOMG!1!

I went for a cruise through my blogging bookmarks just now and among my favourite Canadian writers, the vast and overwhelming majority were devoted almost wholly to current events elsewhere. Meaning to our south. Listeriosis? Election finance? Canada? Crickets. Not dramatic enough it seems. Are we really and honestly going to become breathless on the
Canadian left because Colin Powell is endorsing "our guy"? Really? If only Albert Speer had thought to endorse Harry Truman he could have had a cabinet post instead of 20 years in Spandau. Well at least Speer had the class to accept culpability for his crimes. And if "our guy" is such a poem, a transformative character, what in the hell is he doing promising a role for a creature like Powell in his administration? Like the old joke says, $20 bucks, same as in town.

Here's the thing, I'm losing patience with my friends. It is becoming really hard to write about our country's issues without having to scream at the damn kids to turn the radio down with all that crazy American beat music. I used to look at America with a combination of fascination, admiration and dread. So much energy, arrogance and compassion stirred by a weird greedy determination to get ahead. Now I want to break off diplomatic relations and build a zombie wall to keep the madness out.

America is dramatic to be sure but at this juncture in history, America is broken at a profound level. And here's where it gets hard to talk to folk. Barrack Obama is not going to transform or fix or even really try to do much of anything about the root cause of the damage. All of the hope, all of the dreams amount to no more than just that, hopes and dreams projected onto a charismatic guy. He is not John Fitzgerald Kennedy. And even if he were, he is not coming into power and prominence on the rising tide of a post-war economic boom of historic proportions. He is not ascending to take the helm of a nation at the pinnacle of wealth and productivity. He is lashing his ass to the wheel of a massive multi-car pile up. Step away from the Kool-Aid.

I've read any number of pearl clutching whispers by some poor dazzled souls fearing for his life, what with all of those evil righties and their bigotry and guns. Know what? If Obama wins and survives the inauguration, the honeymoon is going to be over really fucking quick. And there will soon be a litter of dashed hopes and broken dreams scattered beneath the wreckage of a crippled economy, broken armed forces and deeply divided nation. The twinkle is going to go out of all of those starry eyes because wishing don't make things so. There is no pony. There never was. All of the rednecked bigots will wake up tomorrow and they'll still be rednecked bigots except they'll be pointing their nose picking fingers saying, told ya so. With polls pointing to a Democratic House, Senate and Presidency the wheels are
still going to come off and that sumbitch is still going off the cliff to burst into flames. And when the smouldering wreckage is there for all to see, the real danger will be from the folks whose dreams were betrayed, whose hopes went unanswered.

There is simply no short term solution to problems the magnitude of which America faces. The culmination of years of arrogant hubris, rapacious stupidity and violent disregard are going to be paid off and it will not be pretty. For that reason I am half hoping that McCain and that psycho Palin actually win the White House. If Obama is half as good as all the weeping groupies believe, then he will weather four of what will be that nation's most difficult years and gain in experience and wisdom only to return to the field and fight another day. He is still a young man and his future lies before him. McCain is old and rotten inside and his lust for power is coming to an end. Let him have his prize and with it the full inheritance of the Conservative Movement legacy, shit and blood and lies. His team made the bitter, nasty mess, let his team own the results.

And let us return our attention, friends, to that which we can influence here in our homeland and country. There is much work to be done and troubles ahead. The nights grow longer and colder and we dare not waste them on trivialities and baubles in the pockets of strangers. 


Just for the record, of the articles currently on our own front page, 30 of the 50 visible are directly or largely dealing with the American election and the players involved. It is a frickin' infectious disease.

Why 12-year-olds shouldn't blog.

One more time, Sherman, into the wayback machine to check in on 12-year-old Blogging Tory "Hunter":

What was gained? Nothing, except showing how scared the lefties are of Sarah Palin.

Yes, Hunter, we're scared. Terrified, in fact. How terrified? This terrified:

Palin’s drag on the ticket?

Fifty-five percent of respondents say [Palin]’s not qualified to serve as president if the need arises, up five points from the previous poll.

In addition, for the first time, more voters have a negative opinion of her than a positive one. In the survey, 47 percent view her negatively, versus 38 percent who see her in a positive light.

That’s a striking shift since McCain chose Palin as his running mate in early September, when she held a 47 to 27 percent positive rating.

And here's the money quote:

Now, Palin’s qualifications to be president rank as voters’ top concern about McCain’s candidacy - ahead of continuing President Bush’s policies, enacting economic policies that only benefit the rich and keeping too high of a troop presence in Iraq.

That's right, kids -- the fact that voters see Palin as a vapid, airheaded, incompetent, hate-filled wingnut is now the biggest problem the McCain campaign has.

Go on, Hunter ... tell us again how scared we are. I need the entertainment.

America's Big Election Adventure!


vs Obama

clown image swiped from

Oh, man ...

... if only.

SDA Nation: All the news that's fit to ignore.

Back in May, we had Canada's Most Bestest Awesomest White Power Blogger Kate "Did you hear the one about 6 million dead Jews?" McMillan getting all moist over right-wing TV ratings:

For the 77th consecutive month, FNC finished first in total day and prime time ratings during May. FNC was the sixth highest rated cable network on all of basic cable during prime time for the month (CNN and MSNBC finished 19th and 26th) and the seventh rated network in total day (CNN and MSNBC were 19th and 27th).

FNC also had 11 out of the top 13 programs in cable during the month in Total Viewers. The O'Reilly Factor was the #1 program in cable news for the 90th consecutive month, and saw gains in Total Viewers year-to-year (26%).

I'm guessing Kate's readers won't be hearing about this, though:

Rachel Maddow, a woman who does not own a television set, has done something that is virtually unheard of: she has doubled the audience for a cable news channel’s 9 p.m. hour in a matter of days.

More important for her bosses at MSNBC is that “The Rachel Maddow Show,” her left-leaning news and commentary program, has averaged a higher rating among 25- to 54-year-olds than “Larry King Live” on CNN for 13 of the 25 nights she has been host. While the average total audience of her program remains slightly smaller than that of Mr. King’s, Ms. Maddow, 35, has made MSNBC competitive in that time slot for the first time in a decade. The channel at that hour has an average viewership of 1.7 million since she started on Sept. 8, compared with 800,000 before.

In unrelated news, I hear Kate's been taking pictures of more thermometers. Whatever works for you, baby.

It's because they're full of shit. All the time.

My handy-dandy Sitemeter stats tell me of this wingnut who, back in July, expectorated thusly:

Dr Henry Morgentaler, no hero in the blogosphere

On July 1st the Canadian government announced the award of its highest civilian honour, the Order of Canada, to Dr Henry Morgentaler, holocaust personality, humanist and abortionist extraordinaire. Of course, it was ultra-controversial with Canada’s Catholic and pro-life groups. But a wave of wider protests have washed up the very steps of the Governor General’s house, and scores of past recipients of the award have returned their medals.

Yes, dear ... absolutely scores of them. Um ... refresh my memory ... as of months later in October, what was the state of that deluge of outraged returns? Oh, right:

The Governor General's office said Friday that a total of seven Order of Canada medals have been returned to protest Morgentaler's nomination, including former New Brunswick lieutenant-governor Gilbert Finn, B.C. priest Lucien Larre, another anonymous Canadian and families of three deceased recipients.

Um, yeah ... all of seven returns, three of which don't count. Apparently, wankers are just as bad at simple arithmetic as they are at ... well, pretty much everything. I am so not surprised.

Sure, let's talk about civility.

In this month's issue of "Compassionate Conservatives Who Want to Kill People Different From Them," we have our latest contestant:

"A friend recently sent me this article about a "gay-friendly" high school. If we were living in a biblical society, homosexuality would be punishable by death so such a school would be unnecessary. Although I'm against the special accommodations, perhaps this new trend of segregation will protect straight kids from these predators. With any luck, some radical will blow up the gay school. No, I'm not condoning vigilantism--I'm merely saying that it would be poetic justice."

In clearly unrelated news, someone on a left-wing blog somewhere used impolite language, so I guess that makes us even.

The U.S. election, condensed for the hard of thinking.

Shorter deranged, right-wing Idiotsphere: "Despite our best efforts to ignore the obvious, it is now abundantly clear that the Republican nominee is a deluded, hypocritical, unethical douchebag and drooling racist with massive anger management problems who should not, under any circumstances, be allowed near any dangerous weapons, while his running mate is a vapid, mind-meltingly insane, Bible-pounding, young-earth creationist, pathological liar, shrieking anti-Semite and utter ignoramus, all of which inspires the following critically important question: With only two weeks to go until Election Day, how can we help them win?"

You only wish I was joking.


That one's gonna leave a mark:

Then they wheeled him back to his room, because it was Tuesday, and Tuesday is tapioca night.

Blogging Tories Short Takes: Oct 22, 2008.

Shorter "lotusland soapbox": "I'm shocked at the crudity of Republican political discourse and smear tactics. When the hell did that start?"

Shorter 12-year-old "Hunter": "Irony? Never heard of it. Why?"

Shorter "Gay and Right Fred": "An apparent act of anti-Semitism occurred on another continent! I just thought you needed to know that."

Shorter "Strong Conservative": "I am easily the stupidest person you will ever meet. Let me demonstrate."

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Dear wankers: Grow a fucking spine.

It's not that they say such screamingly imbecilic things; rather, it's that they don't have the cojones to stand behind their words later when the shitstorm hits. One after another, the stupidest wanks in Wankerdom make asses of themselves, then frantically try to disassociate themselves from their own words.

By now, everyone is aware of Republican Congressdouchebag Michelle Bachmann, who clearly accused Democrats of "anti-American" sentiments and is now desperately trying to disavow her own language.

Perhaps not quite as well known is Republican nominee for senile, incontinent dumbshit John McCain, who managed to cave in the middle of a single interview:

MCCAIN: And finally, there's $200 million of [Obama's] campaign contributions — there's no record. They're not reported. You can report online now — $200 million that — that we don't know where the money came from — a lot of strange things going on in this campaign...

So what's going to happen? The dam is broken. We're now going to see huge amounts of money coming into political campaigns, and we know history tells us that always leads to scandal...

WALLACE: But are you suggesting that there's...

: But I'm not suggesting...

WALLACE: ... anything illegal or improper?

MCCAIN: No, no. I'm saying that history shows us where unlimited amounts of money are in political campaigns, it leads to scandal.

Shorter John McCain: "I'm not saying Obama's corrupt, but you know ... (nudge nudge wink wink)."

But for sheer, unadulterated douchebagitude, you will never, ever, ever top this:

Dear Blogging Tories: Gaze upon your idols.

BONUS TRACK: Another nutless weasel who cuts and runs, but whose own words come back to slap him in the nads.

Intelligent political discourse at its best.


1, 2, 3, ... um, lots.

Heh. Indeed:

The Republican presidential nominee from Arizona landed at the Columbia Regional Airport around 12:30 p.m. As McCain disembarked from the plane, a man yelled, "Go get 'em, John."...

A crowd of about 15 people assembled outside the airport's fence to see him descend from the plane.

Okay, here's a rule of crowd estimation. It is okay to say a crowd was thousands, or hundreds, but it can never be "about 15", if there are "about" 15, you've got time to get the number exactly right.

Here's another thought -- if you're the Republican presidential nominee and you can't even pull in more people than Kathy Shaidle and free donuts, you're in a world of hurt. I'm just sayin'.

Beware the Blogging Tory language police.

Shorter Blogging Tory Robert Jago: "If you ignore the fact that Stephane Dion didn't actually, technically use the exact phrase 'never again,' let me be totally outraged at how Stephane Dion used the phrase 'never again.' Because the Jews own that phrase. Own it, OK?"

Quite right, Robert. After all, as we all know, the proper way to pay our respects to Holocaust victims is to equate them with motorcycle registration numbers.

Thanks for stopping by, Robert. And don't forget to shut the fuck up on your way out.

OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD ... AmericaBlog's John Aravosis just used the phrase that no one but Jews are allowed to use. Let the hysterical pearl clutching and panty twisting begin.

When life imitates art, with ugly consequences.

Been there, done that.

If you ignore the actual facts, you'll see I have a point.

Shorter Blogging Tory "The view from the right": "If you overlook that the pro-life club put on a "life fair" unsafely, populated it with non-CSA-affiliated people and handed out misleading and dishonest literature, then I can claim this was all just a travesty of ideological discrimination."

When stupid Blogging Tories blog.

Blogging Tory Jonathan Strong is terribly, terribly concerned:

I don't believe we will see gulags or the end of democracy if Obama wins, but I do believe his presidency would erode the conservative values of individualism, personal ambition, personal responsibility, the rule of law, the constitutional right of freedom of the press (because of the fairness doctrine), and the free market's role in society.

Yes, Jonathan ... after eight years of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, the whole notion of constitutional rights, the rule of law and personal responsibility would be in grave danger under President Obama.

See, kids? That's what happens when you don't stop eating the paint chips.

HEH. TBogg gives Jonathan a savage towel snap to the nads without even realizing it.

Dear Liberal Party of Canada

You are fucked.

Oh if only Colin Powell would endorse them.

From now on I'm voting for the Bloc, Canada's party.

Monday, October 20, 2008


Dear American voter fraud-obsessed Blogging Tories: Suck on this, you douchebags.

Oh, and then piss off.

Don't worry, kids ... he wasn't using his nads for anything useful, anyway.

Via Chester, we see Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi carefully unsheath the genitals of National Review's Byron York, place them gently on the anvil, and pound them to the width of Kate McMillan's soul.

Yesterday's pre-election statements are inoperative.

(CC NEWS) -- Having campaigned relentlessly on a platform of global warming being a total fiction and the invention of lefties, socialists, treehuggers and "those creepy gays," Prime Minister Stephen Harper recently announced $100 million in aid for "developing countries to fight climate change."

When asked whether his sudden and unexpected generosity with the public purse might extend to reversing his recent budget cuts to arts and culture, Harper responded, "Oh, please. They're artists, for fuck's sake!"



Cue the sputtering right-wing outrage in three ... two ... one ...

UPPERDATE: Sadly, they've predictably the video down, but the salient point was Stewie looking down on his Nazi uniform to see a "McCain - Palin" campaign button. How the writers got away with that is a mystery.

Sunday, October 19, 2008


I just don't care. I find it utterly impossible to muster a lick of concern over who gets to be King of Nightsoil Mountain. Whichever of the deeply mediocre candidates claims victory, will inherit a toxic waste dump for their prize. Senile, flag waving geriatric and delusional church lady versus smiling sloganeer empty suit and smiling sloganeer empty suit. A battle for the ages! With victory comes inevitable disappointment. I'm with Stageleft on this one. With Canada determined to screw itself into the political mud, why the fuck are we directing our energy and attention to the politic stupidity of a foreign country run by crazy people and killers?

When really stupid people blog.

Over at Kate McMillan's White Robe Drive-In and Holocaust Comedy Club, guest blogger Captain is ... well, he's just being a total colostomy bag:

I Have to PAY for Canadian Budget Statistics???

Fellow SDA'ers, as I am merely a humble guest writer, I thought it would be appropriate that instead of deluging you with stories from the US, I try to pull some interesting statistics and charts about Canada so that we may all take home an exciting and interesting education in Canadian economics.

My goal was simple; compare health care expenditures as a % of GDP and the budget over time to provide all those interested a measure as to just how much of your budget goes to the health care system as well as what percent of your income goes to health care.

I found a great site called Statistics Canada that had all the data a budding economist could ever want. I quickly found the database where I could pull all the necessary information and upon clicking the "enter" button, received this little notice; ...

(Your request contains 4 payable series, at a cost of C$12.00.

What in the name Puff the Magic Dragon is this?! I have to PAY to get what should be public information? Is this some kind of attempt to keep economic information from the poorer masses or some bureaucrat's idea of a power trip?

Nothing like keeping vital information that would empirically disprove socialism away from the population.

Posted by Captain at October 19, 2008 11:47 AM

Predictably, Captain -- while wanking furiously over a bill of $12.00 -- has never seen fit to get even the teensiest bit upset over this:

Harper defends database shutdown

Prime Minister says Co-ordination of Access to Information Requests System too costly; Dion says PM leads most 'secretive government in the history of our country'

Mr. Harper was forced to explain in the House of Commons Monday why his government quietly killed off a database called the Co-ordination of Access to Information Requests System.

Created in 1989 and revamped in 2001, the CAIRS database is a monthly compilation of all Access requests received by federal agencies. Canadians could use it to see the information that had already been made public or was in the process of being released, and could then make a request to see the documents themselves.

The database “was deemed expensive, it was deemed to slow down the access to information, and that's why this government got rid of it,” Mr. Harper said during Question Period.

Drop by tomorrow when Captain again writes something completely fucking whiny and idiotic.


So ... anyone want to start a pool on just how long it takes for the Republicans to use the colour of the General’s skin as the defining factor behind his endorsement?

Sure, let's talk about "ACORN."

And now that a number of Blogging Tories have stroked themselves into a screeching frenzy over allegations of humongous, massive, ginormous ACORN-inspired voter fraud down south, you can take the time to read someone who isn't a frothing, Stephen Taylor-enabled imbecile. And CNN weighs in, too.

You're welcome.

I’ve got your agenda right here.

Shorter passive-agressive, pearl-clutcher extraordinaire Raphael Alexander: Of all the nerve! Where do these pushy gay activists get off trying to teach teenagers about liberal, elitist, ivory tower concepts like social injustice? What? Do they honestly think the average parent wants to raise an open-minded child? Sheesh.

And furthermore. You should really check out the comments for some extra-special RA-approved shenanigans, boys and girls.

I need more coffee ...

Sunday Funnies.

Sunday morning cartoons.

My turn:


In which regular CC HQ commenter "Southern Quebec" takes it to 12-year-old Blogging Tory "Hunter". Check back later when Hunter responds petulantly with, "Boy, you lefties sure, like, get all upset about, you know, stuff and everything. Ha ha!"


My head just exploded.

I can out-TBogg that in three notes.

Over at "Basset Hounds 'r' Us," TBogg takes it to high-profile wank Ed Morrissey. But, really, that is so lame. I mean, if I want some serious journalistic misrepresentation, I don't even need to leave the neighbourhood.

P.S. Every morning when I leap out of bed, I thank God for the Blogging Tories -- your one-stop shop for dumbass wankitude.

Ya gotta chase your dreams, baby.

In which Blogging Tory and fan of minority violent crime "Neo Conservative" realizes there might still be hope for him.

IOKIYAD (It's OK if you're a douchebag).

Blogging Tory Paul MacPhail is all, like, in your face, losers!

St. John's mayor wants seat for Newfoundland at federal cabinet

They had their chance. It's what's known as a federal election.

ST. JOHN'S, N.L. — The mayor of St. John's is calling on the public to convince Ottawa to appoint somebody from Newfoundland and Labrador to be responsible for the province at the federal cabinet table.

The Conservative government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper doesn't have an MP from the province after losing races for all of its seven seats during Tuesday's federal election.

It's time the mayor had a talk with Danny Williams about that little ABC thing.

Yeah! So just bite me, OK? Ha! Losers!

In what I'm sure is totally unrelated news, Stephen Harper once appointed the entirely unelected Michael Fortier as Minister of Public Works and Government Services because Stephen wanted "regional diversity" and "We need a cabinet minister from Montreal."

Most of you will, I'm sure, immediately appreciate the douchebaggy hypocrisy. Then one of you can explain it to Paul.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Because it makes me smile ...

Some Billy Bragg from my wild teenage years -- and more than a little appropriate after reading this.

My poppa has always loved Motown music so I grew up listening to The Four Tops, The Temptations, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Martha and the Vandellas and my dad's personal favourite, Brother Ray, just to name a few.

Nothing succeeds like total fucking failure.

Yeah, tell me again about the free market:

Wall Street banks in $70bn staff payout
Pay and bonus deals equivalent to 10% of US government bail-out package

Financial workers at Wall Street's top banks are to receive pay deals worth more than $70bn (£40bn), a substantial proportion of which is expected to be paid in discretionary bonuses, for their work so far this year - despite plunging the global financial system into its worst crisis since the 1929 stock market crash, the Guardian has learned.

Staff at six banks including Goldman Sachs and Citigroup are in line to pick up the payouts despite being the beneficiaries of a $700bn bail-out from the US government that has already prompted criticism.

In unrelated news, raising the minimum wage by a dollar an hour would be a terrible thing for the economy. Or so I've been told.

Dear stupid Blogging Tories: About "Joe the Plumber" ...

A number of the typically premature ejaculatory BTs have recently seized on the story of one "Joe the Plumber," whose televised confrontation of Barack Obama as to how Obama's tax cuts would affect Joe was immediately spread far and wide throughout the Dumbass-o-sphere as proof of how those tax cuts would hurt poor, hard-working folks like Joe.

Joe the Plumber told Sen. Barack Obama that he might buy a business worth $280,000, but is afraid higher taxes will cut into his dream, CBS News correspondent Wyatt Andrews reports.

Sen. John McCain then used Joe's story to claim Obama will raise taxes for millions of small business owners.

"And what you want to do to Joe the Plumber and millions more like him is have their taxes increased," McCain said during Wednesdays third and final presidential debate.

And then there's reality (emphasis leg-humpingly added):

The fact is, millions will not be hit by a tax hike. An estimated 335,000 small business owners - just 2 percent of the total - would be impacted by Obama's tax increases.

According to the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center, Obama's tax hikes apply only when personal income, not the value of the business, rises above $250,000.

"What goes on your income tax form is your profit, not your gross receipts," said Eric Toder of the Tax Policy Center.

But wait ... it gets sooooo much better:

So today, Joe, who said he makes much less than $250,000, reluctantly admitted Obama would lower his taxes.

"I would, if you believe him, I would be receiving his tax cuts," Wurzelbacher said.

And, oh, yeah:

But Joe's anti-tax leanings are also playing out in his personal life. It turns out - he's behind on state taxes.

So the man whose personal story steered a Presidential debate over taxes owes some $1,200 in back taxes, according to the state of Ohio.

Heh. Indeed. Thanks for coming, Joe. Stupid Blogging Tories. Stupid, stupid Blogging Tories.

BONUS TRACK: Just for shits and giggles, make sure you appreciate how Joe lies during that initial confrontation. As you can see from the first few seconds of the video here, Joe initially claims (emphasis added), "I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes about $250,000 ... $270-280,000 a year."

No, it doesn't. As Joe later clarified, the company he was thinking of buying was worth that much, which means that it would typically make considerably less per year. And, as you can read above, Joe has admitted that he currently makes far less than $250,000 per year. In short, Joe spewed total bullshit during that first encounter in order to provoke a confrontation. So he totally deserves the shellacking he's getting at the moment.