Shorter Frank, who really does deserve his very own category:
MADD supports bad law because impaired drivers might not be drunk, they might just be crazy or have crappy tires. If the Canadian justice system just locked people up and threw away the key then no one would drive drunk. Unless they were bad parents. In that case they should lose their house. Or something like that.
Honestly, you have to read it to really appreciate the serpentine twists and turns of whatever masquerades as logic inside his head.