Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Take our pavilion. Please.


Captain Photo Op does what he does best -- shows up just long enough to be photogenic:



And here's the best part:

Upon arriving in Port-au-Prince, the prime minister announced the government would provide up to $12 million to build a temporary base for the Haitian government.

Most government buildings, including the iconic presidential palace, were destroyed or damaged in last month’s quake. Since then, Preval and his cabinet have been running the government out of a police station, holding news conferences under a mango tree.

Let me make a suggestion:



Apparently, the above cost $10.4 million, it looks like it's easily disassemblable, we won't be needing it in a couple of weeks, and it's so unspeakably fucking ugly that no one here wants to be seen within 100 kilometers of it. And in the middle of a natural disaster zone and surrounded by devastated and shattered buildings, it wouldn't even stand out.

A win-win all around, I would think. Now, where's a C-17 when you need one?

Apparently, just keep your knees together, you sluts.


The Ottawa Citizen's St. David of Warren is big on abstinence. Hey, it's kept him from getting pregnant all these years.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Photo op man strikes again.


Oh, look (emphasis thigh-suckingly added):

The Prime Minister, who is on a two-day trip to the island nation where bodies still lie under the rubble of last month's earthquake, arrived with a promise of $12-million to put a temporary roof over the federal government in Haiti...

Mr. Harper, who is the first leader from a major donor country to visit Haiti since the disaster, did not come with bags of cash. The money announced Monday is small. This country will need billions of dollars to restore even the impoverished life it knew before the ground shook and the buildings collapsed.

And it's not a new commitment. It is part of $555-million that the Canadian government set aside in 2006 for Haitian development.

Shorter Stephen Harper: "Yeah, yeah, earthquake, whatever. You'll get your money when I say you'll get it. Now take the fucking picture so I can get out of this dump. I've got hockey to watch and this many black people just creeps me out."

And here's where we juxtapose.



I'm not sure that could have been any more ironic.

The Krauthammer Kronikles.


I sometimes wonder if TBogg needs more of a challenge.

Stop him before he photo ops again!


Always on the lookout for abject human misery and massive body counts that he can milk to his political advantage, Stephen "Il Douche" Harper is off to Haiti to have his picture taken with some poor orphan so that he can look like he cares.

In a special to the Globe, Gerald Caplan has some interesting facts on Haiti for Photo-Op Steve, under the mistaken impression that Steve actually gives a fuck about any of those people.

I eagerly await the imminent picture of Harper with the caption, "Vote for me or I eat this child!"

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Retardopedia!


Who knew scientific knowledge could be so emotionally traumatic?

Conservative media darling? Eh, not so much.


Apparently, the Canadian market is a tough one for illiterate quitters:

Tickets are still available to hear a potential American presidential candidate in Hamilton.

Despite one organizer's prediction in December that the April 15 visit of Sarah Palin to Hamilton would be sold out within two weeks, good seats remain available.

And here's the punchline:

It also comes after the darling of the American conservative movement gave the keynote speech at the weekend conference of the grassroots Tea Party Convention in Nashville, Tenn.

"Darling of the American conservative movement?" I don't think so:

'Warning: Tea Party In Danger': Leader Slams Palin As 'Wolf In Sheep's Clothing'

A prominent Tea Party leader from Texas is warning that the movement "is becoming nothing more than a wholly owned subsidiary of the Republican Party," and slamming Sarah Palin as representing "a growing insider's attack to the heart of the Tea Party."

Dale Robertson, the founder of TeaParty.org, is just the latest Tea Partier to express concern that the movement is being hijacked by the GOP.

In a lengthy statement -- entitled "Warning: Tea Party In Danger" -- posted yesterday on the TeaParty.org homepage, Robertson instructs his felllow Tea Partiers to "[b]e alert to turncoats and deceivers being herded into the Tea Party by usurpers from the weakened Republican Party for the sole purpose of capturing our populist movement."

Huh. Finally waking up to the fact that you're being played for suckers by a worthless, uneducated opportunist and perpetual failure? I guess it just takes some people longer than others.

Transparency! Accountability! Batshit crazy, tinfoil hat paranoia!


Yeesh. I imagine Free Dominion get-togethers as a bunch of dingbats dressed in camo, each bragging about how much they have stockpiled for when Obama unleashes the New World Order.

Um ... huh?


Via the cool technology at Alexa, we learn:



I have no idea what to make of that.

(Wag of the tail to Dr. Dawg for the observation.)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The backlash must have been savage.


Scrolling through the main page of the septic tank that is the Blogging Tories and this just leaped out at me:



Wow, thought I, using a horrific tragedy to score some cheap political points and mock some dead people. That's purely "Neo Conservative" territory there. So I thought it might be amusing to see what "Barrel Strength"s readers had to say about this, and if any of them called the author (it's a group blog) to task for being such an insensitive asshole:



Huh. How odd. One suspects that even BS's Blogging Tory colleagues were taken aback by the smirking dismissal of and snickering at the cold-blooded murder of three academics.

Except for "Neo Conservative." I suspect he just left a comment hoping they were black.

Compassionate Christianity? Not so much ...


Shorter SUZANNE: Rumour has it that allegedly "gay" teenagers are at a higher risk of suicide than heterosexual teens. Whatever.

CC here: SUZANNE, being the hideous waste of skin that she is, redirected that link to her favourite wallpaper store (graphic abortion pics). I've tossed the link for now.

It's creepy how much that nutbar loves the sight of a dead fetus.

LuLu here: Even shorter SUZANNE: Free speech FTW!!11!!1!!1! Except, you know, when I don't like it.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Dear Ezra:


Fuck right off, you yammering turd.

P.S. Yo, Ezra. You're a liar. Here's the proof.

AFTERSNARK: Coming unbidden to mind ...


How deranged are you ...


... when you're too deranged for Jonathan Kay?

AFTERSNARK: Advertising his Newsweek piece as a "Newsweek Web Exclusive," Kay writes (among other things):

Like all populists, tea partiers are suspicious of power and influence, and anyone who wields them. Their villain list includes the big banks; bailed-out corporations; James Cameron, whose Avatar is seen as a veiled denunciation of the U.S. military; Republican Party institutional figures they feel ignored by, such as chairman Michael Steele; colleges and universities (the more prestigious, the more evil); TheWashington Post; Anderson Cooper; and even FOX News pundits, such as Bill O'Reilly, who have heaped scorn on the tea-party movement's more militant oddballs.

One of the most bizarre moments of the recent tea-party convention came when blogger Andrew Breitbart delivered a particularly vicious fulmination against the mainstream media, prompting everyone to get up, turn toward the media section at the back of the conference room, and scream, "USA! USA! USA!" But the tea partiers' well-documented obsession with President Obama has hardly been diffused by their knack for finding new enemies.

Curiously, Kay also shows up in his more normal environs of the National Post, opining (among other things):

Barack Obama and his Congressional allies are the main targets. But the villain list also includes the big banks, China, Middle Eastern oil producers, bailed-out corporations, James Cameron ( Avatar is seen as a veiled denunciation of the U.S. military), Republican Party chairman Michael Steele, universities, The Washington Post, Anderson Cooper, and even FOX News pundits such as Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck, who've heaped scorn on the Tea Party movement's more militant oddballs. (One of the most bizarre moments of the convention came when blogger Andrew Breitbart delivered a particularly vicious fulmination against the mainstream media, prompting everyone to get up, turn toward the media section at the back of the conference room, and scream "U. S.A.!U. S.A.!U. S.A.!")

Apparently, Mr. Kay uses a definition for the word "exclusive" with which I am unfamiliar.

Mark Steyn would be proud.

When stupid journalists journalize.


The National Post's Kelly McParland is appalled:

So just what is the Liberal plan, then? If some impoverished country refuses to guarantee abortion rights, they get nothing? Jeez, way to go Michael Ignatieff! Cut off the needy unless they toe the line with Liberal party values.

Yeah! Chopping the funding of people just because they don't display the proper level of ideological purity? What kind of pompous, intolerant buttfuck do you need to be to do something that awesomely sleazy?

Oh.

Do any of McParland's Post colleagues actually like him, or is there just an awkward silence and looking the other way when they pass in the hallways because of McParland being such a useless hack and toady?

I'm just curious.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Yes, that's my kind of humour.


Remind me to never travel to Australia.


I'm sorry ... that's a sport?


And what exciting new competitions can we look forward to during this year's Olympics?



Although I think it's called "ski cross."

The unintentional hilarity.


King Stephen fluffer-bot Stephen Taylor whinges on about alienating others. Yes, Stephen, feel free to lecture us on that topic. We'll be right here.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Vancouver does Delisle. The world cringes.


Canada welcomes the world, and shows everyone where we store our snowblowers:



Once the Olympics are over, VANOC has promised Kate McMillan that she can have her garage and airbrush shop back at the earliest opportunity.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

What? The? Hell?


Whassup with this?

Stephen Harper: Lying douchebag.


Via David Akin, we see James Cowan, the leader of the Liberal Party in the Senate, yanking down Steve's and Rob Nicholson's panties and giving them a wicked public spanking. I particularly like this savage towel snap to the nads:

I was particularly surprised that you referred to Bill C-25 during your press conference. That bill, which dealt with limiting credit for time spent in pre-sentencing custody, passed the Senate without any amendments on October 21, 2009, yet as of this writing, according to the Library of Parliament and the Privy Council Office, the bill has still not been brought into force by your Government – more than three months later. One is left to wonder whether you simply forgot to bring it into force? Or was the bill more about the appearance of being “tough on crime” than actually taking action? Certainly we now know that bill was not as urgent a priority for the Harper Government as was initially represented.

I await the inevitable frantic tap-dancing and hysterically off-point rebuttal from Captain Canada Stephen Taylor, when he can tear himself away from idiotic Batman videos.

Irony, oh, irony.


Heh. Indeed:

Anti-Conservative "National Newswatch" features lame amateur blogger attacking a Blogging Tory
Posted by Craig Smith on February 2, 2010 at 6:30pm

If anyone had any doubts about how anti-Conservative "National Newswatch" has become this should end all doubts. It is one thing to feature a long string of anti-Conservative opinion pieces from the likes of the Toronto Star but now he is featuring rather lame content from marginal left wing bloggers.

That would be "Canadian Conservatives" founder Craig Smith, pompously and contemptuously dismissing "marginal" bloggers.

No, I don't think he'd understand the irony, even if you explained it to him, then wrote it on his hand.

AFTERSNARK: You have to love the unintentional boot to the berries here:

I should note that Stephan [sic] Taylor has recently purchased advertisements on that site - not a very nice way to treat the folks who pay your bills.

Misspelling Stephen Taylor's name -- yeah, that's gonna win friends. But one has to appreciate the way things work in Craig's world -- if you can cough up advertising fees, you should have a bit of pull when it comes to editorial content.

Craig Smith -- dragging journalistic ethics into the septic tank with him, one idiotic post at a time.

I know four-year-olds who are better liars than this.


Oh, for the love of Mutt:

OTTAWA - Federal ministers have been warned by their boss against subverting Canada's freedom-of-information law after a political aide at Public Works ordered a sensitive document withheld from a media requester.

"Obviously, around Access to Information, due diligence is and should be done by public servants and not political staff," Dimitri Soudas, spokesman for the prime minister, said in an interview Monday.

"The process . . . should be followed and respected by all. . . . It applies to everybody across government (including) political offices."

But ... but ... but ... they were only trying to be helpful:

The news agency requested the report, an accounting of the government's real-estate portfolio, under the Access to Information Act and duly paid photocopy fees of $27.40...

Margaux Stastny also said Togneri was not trying to prevent release of the report, only to save the requester photocopy fees. She said Togneri merely wanted to offer the requester the choice between 30 free pages or the cost of photocopying 137 pages.

The Canadian Press was never offered the choice and, in any case, had already paid the fee.

The Stephen Harper Party of Canada -- selflessly defending the budgets of news services, $27.40 at a time.

When Blogging Tories forget their talking points, it gets ugly in a hurry.


Briefly demonstrating a flicker of principle and consistency, Blogging Tory "BC Blue" very, very gently takes Retard-bot Sarah Palin to task for her hypocrisy:

Oh my, this doesn’t look good for someone who criticized Obama for being a “Charismatic guy with a teleprompter.”

Unsurprisingly, BC Blue's faithful commenters immediately turn on him for his savage, treasonous, disgusting disloyalty. We won't be having any of that free-thinking and coherent punditry in Stephen Taylor's house, no fucking way.

P.S. Commenter "The Aviator" writes what we suspect everyone else is thinking:

Doesn’t look good? You’re comparing a couple of words to a @#$%^ teleprompter. I suggest that you change your blog title and drop off Blogging Tories if you are going to play stupid liberal games!

Yeah! Fucking fair and balanced asswipe! Fuck you and your fairness, and your consistency, and your equal application of criticism regardless of ideology. Just fuck you, and take your fucking fairness and balance and just fuck off, OK?

Stephen Taylor must be so fucking proud.

Monday, February 08, 2010

The appalling retarditude of Sarah Palin.


Jesus Christ, it isn't even funny anymore:

Quick Fact: Palin repeats falsehood that Alaska produces "20 percent of the U.S. domestic supply of energy"

During an interview with Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace, Fox News contributor Sarah Palin falsely claimed that "20 percent of the US domestic supply of energy" comes from Alaska. In fact, according to the most recent data available from the Energy Information Administration, Alaska accounts for no more than 2.9 percent of total domestic energy production.

Honestly, how intellectually damaged do you have to be to take that basket case seriously?

Ezra Levant, and the case of the vanishing correction.


It's still unclear as to the significance of this -- it's just odd.

Blogwhore!


Whenever I feel like a little traffic, I leave a comment over at PZ's.



Yeah, that's pretty much what happens. In about 23 seconds.

Let the desperate Sarah-flavoured rationalizations begin.


[GREETINGS, PHARYNGULOIDS! FYI, Kate McMillan would be our (Canadian) version of, well, Michelle Malkin. Or Ann Coulter. Whichever's more repulsive.]

Having for months mocked Barack Obama mercilessly for his alleged reliance on a teleprompter, the screechy howler monkeys over at Kate McMillan's Special Ed Chicken and Rib Palace are suddenly forced to defend Sarah Palin and her childish crib sheet (link to Kate's if you really need to check it out).

First, there's the frantic appeal to conspiracy, mixed in with a little denigration and deliberate misspelling of Obama's name:

I found it hard to believe that Owebambam would use a teleprompter to speak at a grade school. I will double check to be certain that the ink wasn't put on [Palin's] hand after the speech. (Photoshop)

Posted by: Joe at February 8, 2010 1:04 AM

After a couple commenters seem to miss Kate's point, she is forced to type more slowly, appropriate for the grade school mentality that is her readership:

Eh, folks are missing the point here. If all I needed as prompts for a 45 minute speech were 6 words, I'd write them on my hand, too.

Posted by: Kate at February 8, 2010 1:18 AM

[Ed: As a commenter has already pointed out, Palin did not consult her hand during a "speech." It was, in fact, during a scripted interview, for which one has even less excuse to need help like that.]

Next, commenter "The Aviator" appears to understand his role as loyal stenographer:

The word crossed out looks like 'budget' to me, so Mrs. Palin decided to emphasize tax cuts rather than budget cuts. Regarding writing on one's hand - that has long been done in aviation with callsigns, etc, especially in the confines of a cockpit. If a speaker wants to remember a sequence while looking at the audience and not the podium it's a handy (get it?) idea. I used to give a 1 1/2 lecture with four cue cards; if you know your subject, you don't need a teleprompter. To give a speech with just four points shows competence; I'm impressed.

Posted by: Aviator at February 8, 2010 1:23 AM

Not to be outdone, commenter Jeff Cosford is equally thrilled with Palin's ability to need only half a dozen words to carry her through a softball interview:

Yup gotta agree with Kate if you can go out and speak at a major speaking engagement like this one and do it with a few notes on your hand my hats off to you.

The heat of the lights, the terror when speaking in front of crowd that is so focused on every word a laser couldn't get more focused.

Now that is gravitas.

Posted by: Jeff Cosford at February 8, 2010 1:26 AM

Shortly thereafter, the floodgates of unthinking adulation swing open:

@Joe,

The video of Obama using teleprompters at a grade school was hosted at whitehouse.gov.

Kate wrote, "Now is the time at SDA when we juxtapose!"

Love it, love it, love it! Kate gives a crisp clean coup de grâce to the bleating liberals.

Posted by: Looking Glass at February 8, 2010 1:41 AM


Sadly, some commenters show up, hopelessly ignorant of what actually happened but, by God, they're not going to be left out of the panty-moistening adoration:

I'm impressed. 45 minutes with 6---1 word cues.....amazing.

Except that what was written wasn't "6---1 word cues". Let us refresh our memory as to what Palin had scrawled on her hand to help her through an interview that was in the friendliest confines imaginable:

Energy
Budget Tax cuts
Lift American spirits

Six words, representing only three individual topics. And, seriously, one has to wonder how intellectually limited one has to be to not remember something like "Energy". Or "Lift American spirits." No matter. Thrusting reality brutally to one side, Kate's regulars continue to dig through Palin's panty drawer, looking for anything to be used as an article of mindless worship:

Sarah Palin's hand cues look like she represents the "common Americans" while Obama's teleprompters look like Barry is in bed with the elites by comparison.

I think the American people are longing for someone who they can really relate to, someone who will listen to them, someone genuine.

Sarah Palin used to work as a commercial fisherman with that hand.
She holds the stock of her rifle steady with that hand.

Posted by: Oz at February 8, 2010 2:00 AM

The dumbassitude continues as "CJ" also proves incapable of counting to three, and stopping there:

It's hard to see anything wrong with this. I assume there are five or six words there because there are five or six subjects that she wants covered. She can just look at the hand for a quick check to make sure she hasn't missed one of these essential topics. She's been doing a lot of public speaking lately, so she knows what she wants to say about each of them.

Nothing she does is going to please the media. If she speaks extemporaneously (which she is -- a few words on your palm aren't going to get you through a speech if you don't know the material) then they say she's amateurish. If she used a teleprompter like Obama, they'd say she was scripted by handlers.

Posted by: CJ at February 8, 2010 2:24 AM

And, predictably, it just goes downhill from there:

Also take note of the fact that the writing on the hand is not blurred from sweaty palms.

My guess is that this is someone that can construct a speech from scratch by asking one simple question.
"What did you want me to speak about?"
Then goes on stage and does it. She knows what to say and has a response to the questions.
Whereas that other guy doesn't even ask, he just has his lines fed to him and has no idea what he answers are.

Posted by: gimbol at February 8, 2010 6:53 AM

gimbol, she doesn't even have to ask. She knows!! She is one of them. Unlike most of the other so called politicians in Washington (Ottawa, London, etc.)

Posted by: Louise at February 8, 2010 6:58 AM


So, to recap, using a teleprompter to assist in giving lengthy, complex monologues? Loser!!! Needing to remind yourself that, as a die-hard conservative, you should talk about tax cuts, and apparently being unable to remember six words without assistance? Teh Awesome!!1!111!!!

This would be amusing, if it weren't so sad.

BONUS TOWEL SNAP TO THE NADS: You had to know PZ would be all over this as well.

OFFS! Having exhausted the moderately idiotic defenses for Palin's childish cheating, SDA commenter "manotick" now proposes that Caribou Barbie is just too clever for the rest of us:

I have to laugh at everyone on this one. The whole world is going crazy on this crib notes thing - the progressive liberals mocking this high schoolish bathing beauty moron and her admirers amazed at how smart she is.

But no one yet has got the message...a message that was intended for only one person. Sarah, my friends, has a tremendous sence of humour...with a nice touch of sarcasm thrown in. And that hand thing was a clear personal shot across the bow at Obama. And he knows it. He saw that and must have riled. Instead of 6000 words on a teleprompter...she only needs a "handful.

She truly is brilliant...good on her.

I'd mock that but, really, that would be so painfully redundant.

JJ WEIGHS IN: Go. Read.

When unbelievably retarded Hunters blog.


Blogging Tory "Hunter" is major-league proud of her mad rhetorical skillz:

Well Don't They Look Like Fools Now!

So, the feminists blathered all over the place about a Focus on the Family ad, yapping about how it should not be allowed, and giving it lots of advance publicity so that we were watching for it. We have satellite so we get the American commercials. If the feminists hadn't created such a fuss, I would have had no clue that this commercial was an anti-abortion ad...

I see nothing wrong with the ad and if more people go and visit Focus on the Family, that's the whole idea isn't it? I think all the feminists look like fools right about now, but that is nothing new for them. I guess they are just jealous because they didn't think of creating their own ad.

Well, Hunter, aside from the fact that Pam Tebow's story appears to be utter shash, the reason some people are annoyed is that CBS has long had a "no advocacy" policy which they used to justify rejecting other people who wanted to make a point:

The networks and the NFL have repeatedly rejected advocacy ads — including by progressive organizations. In 2004, CBS rejected MoveOn.org’s 30-second ad about President Bush, which Salon called “a low-key attack on Bush’s fiscal irresponsibility that’s unlikely to make anyone very angry.” The network has said that it doesn’t accept spots where “substantial elements of the community (are) in opposition to one another.” Last year, NBC rejected a 30-second public service announcement about marriage equality. Anti-consumerist activist Kalle Lasn and PETA have also had their ads turned down under the “no advocacy” policy.

Once again, Hunter opens mouth only to plant both feet firmly in up to her knees. I've long since stopped being surprised.

BY THE WAY, HUNTER
, you screeching idiot, I'm amused by your infantile jab here:

I think all the feminists look like fools right about now, but that is nothing new for them. I guess they are just jealous because they didn't think of creating their own ad.

Yes, Hunter ... creating their own ad ... what a stroke of genius that would have been. If only they'd thought of that. Oh, wait ... they did:

Furthermore, CBS has refused to allow Planned Parenthood to buy airtime to run an ad countering the dangerous message that the "Tebow Ad" contains.

I'm begging you, Hunter, for the love of God and everything else you consider holy, shut the fuck up. Seriously. You are a one-woman army that makes women look like total retards.

Stop it. Women everywhere will thank you.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Ezra, Ezra, Ezra ...


We're watching you now.

In case you missed it, ...


... let me summarize the Super Bowl opening ceremonies and pre-game show for you:



I'm sure that'll hold you for the next several years as well.

Your CC HQ reading assignment, should you decide to accept it.


Mock the following Blogging Tory in at least five totally independent ways:

The last days of broadcast news

Fin de siecle CBS News is not a happy place, at least according to this headline - 90 CBS News employees cut, Couric keeps $14 million salary. Also ponder this quote from a disgruntled CBS employee,

“She makes enough to pay 200 news reporters $75,000 a year!" demands a veteran producer. "It's complete insanity."

Meanwhile, showing all the tact and sensitivity of Marie Antoinette, Katie Couric “frolics in Haute Couture and diamonds” (according to the Drudge Report headline) in this over-the-top Harper’s Bazaar video shoot.

Considering that Fox News generates more profit than CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, NBC News and CBS News combined, it can only be a matter of time before one of the broadcast news services (as opposed to cable) switches over to a conservative format. My guessing is that one of them would have done it by now except that they are afraid of US government retribution while Obama inhabits the White House. However if the Republicans take Congress in 2010 and it becomes clear that President Obama is a lame duck, look for a dramatic switch sometime in 2011.

The one to look for? My guess, CBS. They’ve go the lowest ratings, and they can save about $13.5 million on the newsreaders salary right off the top.

There is no need to show your work -- minimally aware people will understand why you're laughing at him.

And ... go.

Quitbull! Juxtapose!


True to form, Blogging Tory "Hunter" squeals with glee over Sarah Palin to the point where a change of underwear is required.

And then there's the brutal reality.



So howzabout all you twatwaffles shut the hell up about Obama and his teleprompter?

BONUS HUNTERITUDE: A snippet from Brenda's regular Friday unfunnies:



HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OHMIGOD, what wit! They all look alike to Brenda! I'm sure it works the same way for her with Muslims. But that's just a guess.

THE CREAMY UNDEROO ADORATION CONTINUES: Who else but Jabba the Roy?

The media and the left may hate her, but I think it is more that they fear her.

Yes, Jabba ... the fear is palpable. That's your story and you're sticking to it.

SOMEONE'S A TOUCH DEFENSIVE: Poor Hunter ... SQ calls her out on Sarah's crib notes, and Hunter is not taking it well:

SQ if you had bothered to listen, she clearly states that she is returning the money to the cause. How about Gore, does he return the money to his cause?

And by "not taking it well," I naturally mean ignoring that question in its entirety. Jesus, how dumb do you have to be to need to remind yourself:

Energy
Budget Tax cuts
Lift American spirits

Palin needs help to remember six words? Jesus, most Labrador Retrievers have a larger vocabulary than that. Even the dumb ones.

And that whole "Innocent until proven guilty" bullshit? Whassup with that?


"Canadian Conservatives" founder Craig Smith is sick up to here with all that "due process" crap he keeps hearing about:

Liberals (lower case) make me sick. Absolutely sick. This is the history behind Omar Khadr...

So, he was fighting against allied (including Canadian) forces in Afghanistan, i.e. he was an enemy who willfully took up arms against allied troops.

In February 2008, the Pentagon accidentally released documents that revealed that although Khadr was present in the house, there was no other evidence that he had thrown the grenade. In fact, military officials had originally reported that
another of the surviving militants had thrown the grenade just before
being killed, and later rewrote their report to implicate Khadr instead.[3] Defence lawyers have also suggested that the soldier may have been killed by friendly fire by his own comrades.[4]
It was later determined that Khadr had been crippled, blinded and
trapped beneath rubble at the time, and American soldiers weren't even
aware of his presence until one stepped on his prone body.

So, because he may not have thrown the grenade he is innocent? Really?

Yeah! I mean, what the fuck? He might be innocent just because he didn't actually kill anyone? Motherfucker! What's the legal system coming to?

Craig follows that up with some thoughful, lifestyle advice:

Sickening. I guess the lesson to take away from all of this is that if you are a Muslim living in Canada, have a burning hatred of western values, and want to become a millionaire, make your way to Afghanistan, take up arms against Americans and their allies, get captured, hope you get subjected to sleep deprivation, and then sue Canadian taxpayers for $10 million dollars.

Hey - if you aren't currently Muslim this may be as good a reason as any to convert.

I mean, sure, there's RRSPs and careful retirement planning that involves sane and sober analysis and reflection. And there's Craig's idea, too.

Time for another line of work, Steve.


Dear Stephen:

Please fuck off and resign so you can do whatever the hell you want. And leave the governing to people who are actually interested and want to do it well.

Yours truly,
Someone who wants you to fuck off and resign

Saturday, February 06, 2010

I Miss The 70s

What the left hand giveth, the right hand taketh away.


Oh, man ... where can I get a gig like this?

Bernard Prigent, Pfizer’s inside man
PM Harper's appointment of drug company's VP to Canadian Institutes of Health Research is also a registered lobbyist ... to CIHR.

Last October, the Harper government appointed Bernard Prigent to the governing council of the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the federal agency that distributes about a billion dollars annually for health research. That appointment was met with near-universal condemnation from medical ethicists, because Prigent is a vice-president of Pfizer Canada, a firm that stands to profit from the decisions made at CIHR.

And here's the latest punchline (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

... not only is Prigent a vice president of Pfizer, but he is also a registered lobbyist for Pfizer. That information is only now coming to light, and has never been previously reported. According to the Office of the Commissioner of Lobbying of Canada, the government agency that regulates lobbyists, Prigent's position as Pfizer lobbyist is to sway policy at the "Canadian Institute of Health Researchers (CIHR) and other Research Oriented Spending Programs as it relates to private/public research and development partnerships," and Prigent is to achieve these aims through both oral and written techniques.

In other words, Prigent the Pfizer lobbyist is paid to lobby Prigent the CIHR official.

On the bright side, being both the briber and the bribee has its advantages -- paper bags of money are so much easier to hand over, don't you think?

(Wag of the tail to e-mailer "CA".)

When stupid Blogging Tories blog.


Faithfully regurgitating the meme we identified back here, we have Blogging Tory Russ Campbell obediently falling into line, exposing the anti-prorogation forces for the nefarious partisans they are, being members of, you know, other political parties and such.

This is in direct contrast to the previous year's anti-coalition campaign, promoted as it was by that well-known non-partisan Stephen Taylor.

I really need more of a challenge in this job.

Your regular Ezratude.


Just start here and go.

Submitted without comment.


Never a dull moment:

Jim Pankiw announces return to politics, says he 'doesn't need the media' to win federal riding

Former MP Jim Pankiw had two messages for reporters who accepted his invitation to a press conference Thursday.

"Yeah, I'm running in the next federal election in Saskatoon-Humboldt as an independent," the 43-year-old chiropractor told a roomful of journalists after a series of introductory remarks about his personal background and views on what he considers to be "race-based privileges" for aboriginal Canadians.

"And I will win," he said. "And I don't need the media." ...

"And what really pisses me off is that I pay taxes and the government takes my money and gives it to people, other people, who don't have that kind of a work ethic. They get free housing, free education, free health care -- holy Christ, hunting and fishing privileges, going to university for free, while I was sleeping on a concrete floor. This has to stop. This is ridiculous." ...

When asked why he would call a press conference if he wants to avoid the media, Pankiw said, "I don't know, to rub it in your face. Because I don't need you."

Pankiw went on to accuse aboriginals of being racist, which is where I stopped reading. Really, there was enough entertainment value already.

AFTERSNARK: Courtesy of Lady Alison, nineteen minutes and 39 seconds of your life you'll never get back. Don't say I never did nuthin' for you.


You can feel the love.


And over at Kate McMillan's Biker Bar and Crappy Airbrush Emporium, we have the inevitable outpouring of sympathy:



And Kathy Shaidle's constant whining about her lupus? Jesus, put a sock in it already, you attention whore.

The man who would (not) be Prime Minister.


Given that he's prorogued Parliament twice, called an unnecessary federal election in violation of his own "fixed election dates" legislation and, most recently, admitted that he'd rather be a hockey player than Prime Minister, it seems safe to ask whether there's ever been a Prime Minister who, apart from his naked lust for power at any cost, has ever been this monumentally disinterested in the job as Stephen Harper.

I mean, really, when you're too fucking lazy to even walk over to prorogue Parliament and you just phone it in, you pretty much don't give a rat's ass anymore.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Pithy. It's what's for dinner.


Stephen Harper: "If the Opposition is so concerned about time lost to prorogation, I'll cancel some holidays so we can catch up, and I assume they will have no objection to that, and it will make me look like a politically tactical genius."

Proper response to the above: "Dear Stephen: Awesomely stupid, fucking decisions on your part do not constitute an emergency on our part."

I'm sure you see my point.

Your mission: Today's CC HQ reader challenge.


Via the Progressive Economics Forum, we learn:

In January, Canada gained 43,000 jobs, almost all of them part-time. Any employment increase is certainly good news and some part-time positions might eventually become full-time positions.

One wonders, though, if the Stephen Harper Party of Canada -- currently sitting around "recalibrating" -- will take credit for this latest achievement. No, really ... once you prorogue Parliament, it seems only fair that you similarly prorogue taking credit for things that happen when Parliament isn't in session.

So let's see how quickly Canada's Blogging Tories jump on the "Hey, we're creating new jobs!" meme. Feel free to leave links to any of Stephen Taylor's loyal fluffers who are now bragging about good things that happen when their heroes aren't even around.

I'd do it myself, but I'm feeling lazy. Deal with it.

There isn't enough tin-foil on the planet for this.


Oh, no! Busted!

(Wag of the tail to earlier commenter Paladiea.)


OH, CHRIST
: Is it worth enumerating the set of Canada's wingnuts who are now stroking themselves into wall stains over this?

Should we keep a list? Seriously.

Quickly, to my fainting couch!


Two of Canada's more delicate wallflowers must protect their sensitive ears from the appalling incivility:



I kept a straight face while posting this only because nothing shocks me anymore.

Suddenly, the media are their BFFs. Go figure.


Having for the longest time treated Canada's mainstream media with about the same respect as Ezra Levant treats accuracy, Stephen Harper's HarperCons are suddenly just the back-slappingest of buddies and everything (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

OTTAWA - The Harper government has jettisoned its bunker-style media strategy and the parliamentary calendar as it scrambles to undo the self-inflicted damage over its decision to suspend Parliament.

The suddenly media-hungry Conservatives trotted out a pair of cabinet ministers Thursday to assure Canadians they're hard at work - and that a new proposal to cancel two parliamentary spring breaks is not just a cynical political ploy...

Thursday marked the second time in as many days that ministers have met with reporters to offer a summary of their work at a pre-budget cabinet retreat. Their sudden accessibility is in stark contrast to the Harper government's normal routine, which is to refuse to even disclose when cabinet meets, much less what went on.

Over the past two weeks, Harper and his ministers have held a series of news conferences, photo-ops and briefings to demonstrate they're hard at work. Harper has also shuffled his cabinet and appointed a raft of new senators.

It's amazing who you'll suddenly pal around with when you're fighting for your political life.

Pay attention, 'cuz I'm only saying this once.



Strategery! The tactical brilliance of Stephen Harper.


Over at Progressive Bloggers, a number of Canada's not-crazy people are rolling their eyes over Stephen Harper's offer to cancel upcoming vacation to make up for prorogation. Said progressive bloggers are quite confident (as am I) in thinking that this is a totally dickhead move that should blow up in Harper's face, and simply proves how frantically he is looking for damage control.

Over at the Blogging Tories, it's a different story:

No March Break For You!

In a true Seinfield move our Government has cancelled March Break and an additional week without the prior consent of the opposition parties to highlight the political games over prorogue.

The sitting days were reduced by 17 days and now have been restored unless the opposition refuse to honour this change. Checkmate Larry, Curly Moe!

CanadianSense's commenters are equally agog at the ruthless ingenuity of King Stephen:

The_Iceman said...

Is it official? If so that is a brilliant move.
February 3, 2010 10:10 PM

hunter said...

Old Taber lies and says it was 4 months, what a lying hag!

The heat is back on the opposition, they have to agree or look like fools. I would love for them all to not show up, that would leave the government to govern, imagine the amount of bills that would get passed!
February 3, 2010 10:12 PM

Fay said...

Another great post!!! You are on Roll...I was watching Tom Clark when Robert Fife announced this at the end of his show. Tommy's face went very red and he appeared mad. Why would he care if he is allegedly non-partison.?
February 3, 2010 10:41 PM

Bec said...

The signs of a professional journalist hey Fay? A red angry face...haha, what a baby Tommy has been and is, honestly.

Great post CS!! You indeed are on a roll but doncha just love the ranters at the Globe piece? These people are truely pathetic and really, really uninformed on the REALITIES of Paliament.
February 3, 2010 11:10 PM

CanadianSense said...

Bert,

The tactician know as Harper is brilliant. The MSM has spent over four weeks fueling outrage for a short delay in parliament sitting.

Net result: The PM has shown the issue was fake by putting extra days back in the calendar without the prior consent of the three parties leaving them to complain how unfair and undemocratic this move is to force them to work and make up for the "Harper Holidays".

Cake anyone?

Priceless!

The PM has now increased his authority in the parliament by virtue of the relentless antics of our disloyal opposition. They again have refused to hold adult conversation and provide real ideas into the new budget for 2010.
February 4, 2010 10:22 AM

When reality arrives for these people, it will not be kind. But that's just a guess.

P.S. It's amusing to watch "CanadianSense" still too mind-crunchingly stupid to have figured out that whole historical prorogation thing:

I have made fun of the three stooges in opposition who have undermined our democratic institutions for playing games on a constitutional tool deployed 105 times in a country that is 105 [sic] years old.

Here at CC HQ, we have already addressed that idiocy. Honestly, it's like there's real bloggers, and then there's the Special Ed class over there in the Stephen Taylor wing.

AND SPEAKING OF "AGOG"
... courtesy of Montreal Simon:

The B.C. legislature is slightly agog over next week's pending visit by Prime Minister Stephen Harper. Apparently, he intends to address the chamber Thursday...Apparently, the visit was not by invitation from the provincial government. Rather it was Ottawa's idea.

That whole "agog" thing? Pure coincidence. Really.

IF I MIGHT BE SO BOLD, surely someone in the Liberal Party of Canada has come up with a savagely stinging comeback for Harper's latest descent into fascism. If it were me, it would go something like this:

"I'm pleased to see that Prime Minister Harper finally appreciates how much work needs to be done, and regrets that unfortunate exercise in prorogation. Personally, I can't wait to resume the committees looking into the alleged torture of Afghan detainees. And I'm sure the PM feels the same. Time's a wastin'. Let's get it on."

Or something equally snappy and clever.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Kittehs.


In a weirdly ironic example of timing, I had already planned to introduce the readership to the new resident here at CC HQ:



She's the one at the back -- I've named her "Runty." With my luck, she'll turn out to be a hulking beast.

And here's the tribe in days gone by, trying to figure what's so appealing about being up there:


So Long And Thanks For All Teh Fishes



About half an hour ago I said my last farewell to my beloved little buddy Iggy. At 21 years and 3 months of age she lived a good, long and very spoiled life. Recent months saw her health declining with hyperthyroid issues and arthritis limiting her mobility. Last night she was having trouble supporting herself and after consulting with the vet I made the toughest decision I've made in a very long time. Rather than prolong her discomfort I opted to let her pass while she still had her dignity. A trooper to the very end, she went out in peace, loved beyond measure. I'd like to say thank you to the kind and gentle souls at the St. Francis Animal Clinic for helping us through this difficult passage. I was unable to properly thank them at the time as I was having trouble holding myself together enough to keep from sobbing my way out the door. I still feel as though I betrayed her trust but deep down I know that what weeks more she might have had would have been weeks of suffering.

Good bye you little bugger, I love you like crazy. And now I'm going to go and hide for a while.

Every conversation you've ever had with a Blogging Tory. Or two.





Be nice to people you meet on the way up, ...


... because as your career is careening earthward in a ball of flame and feces, you might be reduced to defending yourself in their comments section.

Absolutely no disrespect to the Rev, of course.

When truly stupid Blogging Tories blog.


Once upon a time, your humble scribe pondered thusly:

Let's consider how much of the taxpayer's purse is going up in smoke due to the Harper government's intransigence in refusing to allow the return of Canadian citizens marooned overseas. Let's start with one Abousfian Abdelrazik. How much Parliamentary time was wasted debating this case, arguing it, litigating it? How much time that could have been spent doing more productive things was blown off due to the ridiculous racism of Stephen Harper and his cronies? Would anyone like to put a dollar value on that? And add to that what Abdelrazik might make in a massively-justified lawsuit, I'm guessing we're talking millions of dollars -- money that simply did not have to be spent.

Now who -- who, I ask you -- was simply too eye-rollingly retarded to not see the inevitable bearing down? Oh ...


Accountability: it's for other people. Not Conservatives.

P.S. Amusingly, Neo thinks this is news, despite linking back to a news article from September of last year. So it's true -- those people really do think as slowly as we've suspected.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Profiles in Accountability, Part the Next

The Montreal Gazette has a piece today about the spending plans for the Department of Defence. The NDP defence critic, Jack Harris, was able to get this information in the past, but now?
In 2007, NDP researchers asked for and received the year-by-year spending estimates stretching out to 2050 that the military has for all of its new weapons programs, infrastructure and equipment. But Defence Department censors blacked out the annual spending estimates when the NDP asked for an updated version.

And David Akin has a good idea of what's going on here:
Since taking office in 2006, the Conservatives have committed to spending $240 billion over the next 20 years on new equipment for the Canadian Forces.

Those spending commitments are at the heart of one of the Conservative government's most important narratives, that they are finally re-building a military that had been neglected by previous Liberal and Progressive Conservative governments. That narrative is more political rhetoric than political fact. In fact, the three biggest year-over-year percentage increases in military spending in the last decade were made by the Liberal governments of Jean Chretien and Paul Martin.

But, you know, AdScam and such. And what's behind it all? What's motivating the sudden secrecy around defence spending? I think Akin may have an idea:
In any event, the Conservative political rhetoric on military spending is now in conflict with a political imperative that is taking on new importance for the Conservatives: fighting the deficit.

Sounds about right to me. So the conservative governance model is once again proven right:

1. Cut taxes
2. Cut taxes
3. ???????

Result: More money for everyone!

Now, it could be that the spending changes are being "recalibrated" -- whatever that means -- in preparation for the next couple of years, when our international commitments will nosedive to almost nothing. But this government doesn't seem to think that mere opposition MPs, let alone mere members of the public, ought to get a say in any of that.

The madness of King Stephen.


In all seriousness, would it be over the top for Canada's political punditry to finally suggest that Prime Minister Stephen Harper is quite mad? No, really, can we, at this point, add the phrases "mentally disturbed" or "psychologically unbalanced" to the political discourse?

We've certainly seen more than enough evidence by now. From Harper's micro-managing megalomania to his creepy narcissism, why isn't it appropriate to finally suggest that there is something seriously wrong with that boy's wiring?

It was a hoot to watch this parody, comparing Harper to Adolf Hitler:



But, by the end of it, could you really not think that you were watching something awkwardly close to reality, where one imagines Harper closeted with his closest lieutenants, proclaiming that he's really, really tired of all these Afghan detainee questions and he's going to prorogue Parliament again, and he's not even going to bother walking over but will do it by phone, at which point there is an uncomfortable silence as said lieutenants look at each other, and one finally has the nerve to pipe up, "Uh, sir ... I really don't, uh, think that would be wise, the people are still a bit miffed from last year and this has the potential to backfire badly ...", whereupon Harper slams his fist on the desk, bellowing, "Who cares what the people think? I am the Prime Minister! L'etat, c'est moi!!"

And lest you think I am being unnecessarily hyperbolic, let's remember that it was the Right who invented this strategy of questioning the mental competence of their political opponents. Former practising psychiatrist Charles Krauthammer alone created an entire cottage industry out of "diagnosing" Democrats, which -- as I recall -- absolutely slayed the residents of Wankerville. Rolling in the aisles with laughter, they were. And it's safe to say that, whatever you think of Al Gore, he's a picture of rock-solid sanity compared to Stephen Harper.

So, why can't we finally address this? Regardless of how foamy and frothy it might make Canada's Idiot-sphere, they really don't have the moral high ground here. Having mocked the mental stability of their opponents for years, those useless yahoos really don't have much of a position from which to take umbrage.

Let the diagnosis begin.

Triumph of the Wank.


Can I draw the obvious comparison now? Please?

"Barbara Kay, to the Damage Control Desk. Barbara Kay."


The National Post's Babs Kay takes time off from her new gig as Kathy Shaidle's understudy to hork up another hairball.

Ah, National Post, I will so miss thee when thee is gone.

CURIOUS. Is it just my imagination, or did the same wingnuts who studiously avoided the comments section on that original cringeworthy article suddenly come out in full force to fawn all over Kay in that newer piece?

It does seem delightfully choreographed, doesn't it? Even relentless wingnut "Sassylassie" stops by to give Babs a thorough fluffing. Metaphorically speaking.

HEH. INDEED. Commenter "mhogan1024" makes a delicious point:

One can only hope theology studies are next. One can study religions in other departments the same way as one studies myths, but don't credit belief without evidence as a serious university subject.

Well spoken. If the wingnuts want to dismiss womens' studies as advocacy or political indoctrination, that would seem to go double for the worthless, vacuous rubbish that passes for theological scholarship these days.

If Canada's Christopaths want to sit around and thoughtfully debate why evil exists or how many angels can fit on the head of a pin, they can do it without my tax dollars.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Wankers, prorogation and a new CC HQ reader challenge.


It seems like only yesterday that Canada's intellectually crippled were celebrating the ruthless political gamesmanship of Stephen Harper. What a masterful stroke, they cried, using prorogation for the second time in a year to cut the Opposition off at the knees. What a brilliant tactician, riding high in the polls, the master of his domain, yadda yadda yadda.

But these days ... oh, dear.

Which inspires one to ask, is there any evidence of a single idiot wanker who was crowing gleefully over Harper's iron-fisted dismantling of democracy only a few weeks ago, but is now sobbing into his beer at the end of the bar, lamenting, "What the fuck was I thinking?"

Seriously, if one wanders the barren wasteland of Canadian conservative intellectualism, can one find anyone who, having thought that whole prorogation was just ducky, the cat's meow, 23 Ski-Doo, is now more than happy to admit that it was an unmitigated disaster?

Feel free to check things out, and get back to me -- leave answers in the comments section.

P.S. Pointing at people who thought it was an asinine idea from the start doesn't count. What we're looking for is evidence that, somewhere in the Canadian Idiot-sphere, there exists someone who is actually capable of learning from a savage, political boot to the berries.

WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE? How about that? Although identifying Connie Fournier doesn't count since she thought prorogation sucked from the start. But the obvious sense of betrayal is amusing, don't you think?

In the kitchen with Dawg.


Last Saturday evening in Ottawa, being wined and dined by the inimitable Dr. Dawg in the company of Lulu and Dawg's delightful co-blogger Marie Eve. And here's Dawg's spice rack:



Yeah, you should be jealous.

Thank you, CBC.


Breaking news:



In other news, Canada's hockey team eagerly looks forward to playing a lacklustre first round, barely eking their way into the playoffs and flaming out in glorious style.

I just thought that needed saying.

Monday, February 01, 2010

I've been thinking of a career change.



Chronosynclastic infundibulum, baby!

(Wag of the tail to PZ.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Part deux.


*Snicker*.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Remember this delightful bit of misogyny? Who could possibly have written that?

Who, indeed?

Support Right To Play, Shame On VANOC And General Motors Canada (Repost)

With the big sleazy event right around the corner I thought it would be nice to have another look at one of the highlights on the road to the Vancouver Olympics.
________

VANOC the walking filth that has mounted the corpse of what once was a noble movement and fucked that dead beauty into the mud, sinks to a new low. Being less honourable than whores and less generous than pimps, they have banned the Right To Play charity from the Olympic village and from the Olympics. Here are the folks that are being cut out of Vancouver...

The Lillehammer Olympic Organizing Committee (LOOC) conceived Olympic Aid (now Right To Play) in 1992 in preparation for the 1994 Olympic Winter Games in Lillehammer, Norway. The focus of Olympic Aid during these Games was to show support for people in war-torn countries and areas of distress. A partnership was formed among the Red Cross, Save the Children, Norwegian Refugee Council, Norwegian People’s Council, the Norwegian Church Fund and Olympic Aid to raise funds for and awareness of the specific initiatives each of these organizations were implementing.


As you can see, these are not the sort of people that share the vision of the VANOC. No indeed, these are people for whom ethics and morals feature in their lives and works. To the real estate speculators, masturbating lawyers and greedy swine of VANOC this is entirely alien. Obviously Right To Play presents a grave threat to the integrity of the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Games. After all, this is the sort of work that these terrifying, current and former Olympic athletes and their supporters do...

Right To Play is an international humanitarian organization that uses sport and play programs to improve health, develop life skills, and foster peace for children and communities in some of the most disadvantaged areas of the world. Working in both the humanitarian and development context, Right To Play trains local community leaders as Coaches to deliver our programs in more than 20 countries affected by war, poverty, and disease in Africa, Asia and the Middle East.

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, guides our work. Right To Play programs target the most marginalized including girls, the disabled, children affected by HIV and AIDS, street children, former child combatants and refugees.

Right To Play is supported by an international team of top athletes from over 40 countries. As role models, these athletes inspire children, raise awareness and promote opportunities for funding for Right To Play projects. Currently Right To Play works in: Azerbaijan, Benin, Chad, China, Ethiopia, Ghana, Indonesia, Jordan, Lebanon, Liberia, Mali, Mozambique, Pakistan, occupied Palestinian territory, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Tanzania, Thailand, Uganda, United Arab Emirates, and Zambia.


OMFG! Those horrible fiends. Not only do they give their time, expertise and star power to children in war torn and impoverished areas, they also have conflicting sponsors. They're lucky just to be excluded from the Olympic Movement (which is resembling a bowel movement more and more, day by day), I'm surprised the VANOC champions of corporate greed haven't sued the charity into dust and ashes.

Andrea Shaw, vice-president of marketing for the Vancouver Organizing Committee (VANOC), told the Star as much in an email sent late Wednesday night. That came following an interview earlier in the day when she explained Right To Play would not be allowed to set up a booth in the athletes village as it had done in the past because it has conflicting sponsors with VANOC.

"It is VANOC's (our) understanding that the IOC has raised the same concerns on conflicting sponsorships with Right To Play and has taken the position that Right To Play can no longer be associated with the Olympic Games," wrote Shaw.


Now let us be perfectly clear, the Olympic village is
not a public venue and is secured exclusively for use by athletes, coaches and officials. Even with a conflict in sponsorship, it would be one that exists within the confines of the athletes' secured area and wouldn't impact the public face of the games. The purpose of Right To Play's presence would be to recruit athletes as ambassadors and offer them the opportunity to share their love of sport with children. Well the modern Olympics have blessed little to do with the love of sport or plight of children, not when there is the love of money and the worship of greed to supplant the fussy bother of athletics. So what is that deathly conflict of sponsorships?

Shaw said VANOC made the move based on contractual obligations to sponsors to give them exclusivity. One of the main sponsor conflicts between Right To Play and VANOC in Canada was in the automotive sector, where VANOC has a lucrative deal with General Motors Canada and Right To Play is supported by Mitsubishi.


Splendid, let it be known that Mitsubishi, makers of fine, efficient automobiles and some of the world's most renowned engines, have cast their lot in support of an athlete driven charity that brings joy, sport and healthy play to children in need around the globe. VANOC and General Motors Canada, makers of a failed line of unspectacular vehicles and gorging on public money to stem their losses, do not care a damn about children. VANOC and General Motors Canada have banished those that care more about children than money from their big show.

VANOC is the organization that has raped the language, claiming ownership of such words as "snow" and "winter" and has gone so far as to trademark a chunk of
our national anthem. Their relentless greed and vulgar ignorance know no bounds. Now it seems quite clear to me that the Vancouver Olympic Games of 2010 is willing to build its fortune at the expense of children's misery. Way to go VANOC! Be sure to buy your over-priced, sweat shop manufactured plush toy of Quatchi the child hating mascot, exclusively for the only kids that matter, wealthy ones.

Now one would imagine that some sort of arrangement might be made. But one would be wrong.

Koss said that Mitsubishi had agreed to end the partnership if it meant VANOC would allow Right To Play into the village, but said VANOC was demanding they not have any association with any non-Olympic partner company between now and 2012. He said that would be the end of Right To Play.

"We had a choice between running our programs or being in the Olympic village," Koss said. "With that, it was very clear we cannot stop running our programs, our commitment to the kids."


Isn't that adorable? They aren't just greedy, they're greed is punitive and demands exclusivity and fealty. Nothing says charity quite like threats and conditions. Again, Mitsubishi was willing to forego their sponsorship for the greater good and for the long term benefit of children around the world. In terms of corporate stewardship and responsibility, they have set a sterling example here. General Motors of Canada and the VANOC, not so much. No wonder fat Steve Harper decided to divert millions from arts funding, within the heritage portfolio, and pour our good dollars into the guttering flames of the Olympic torch as it illuminates a shameful course across Canada. These are his kind of folks, they know what side of the filthy lucre is buttered, meanwhile the good guys, the athletes and children are toast. Victory!

"Among those disappointed is Olympic rower Silken Laumann, a past chair of Right To Play who still serves as a member at large.

I can't get in VANOC's head," Laumann said. "They've made their own statements around why it won't work as far as their Olympic sponsorship. But I can say that it's the first time that an organizing committee has tried to stop Right To Play from being in the Olympic village.

"Right To Play has always had corporate sponsorship. Every not-for-profit in the world today relies on corporate sponsorship for non-restricted funding, which is an integral part of running any of its programs."


In the 21st century Olympics, the athletes don't matter, the Olympic spirit has been sold to the highest bidder and the world's children can suffer. My hat is off to VANOC and General Motors Canada, long may you both fail.

In case you might want to show that not all Canadians are voracious assholes, here is a link to Right To Play's donations page:

Donate to Right To Play

and here is a link to the good folks at Mitsubishi Canada, in case you're considering the purchase of some wheels that aren't built on spite:

Mitsubishi Canada

The Vancouver Olympics: What could possibly go wrong?


Oh.

I could swear it wasn't April 1.


Someone at the National Post gets a huge jump on a monstrous practical joke.

In other news, J. D. Salinger, renowned reclusive author of The Catcher in the Rye, has died. As usual, he was unavailable for comment.

(Cutting J. D. Salinger quip courtesy of the world-famous Dan Shields.)