Blogging Tories Short Takes, August 18, 2006.

Shorter Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck: "And after the ballot stuffing is over, we can sit around and celebrate as if the result meant something."

Shorter Sham the Tory Man: "Did you hear that Israel might boycott the BBC because of their biased, slanted and unfair coverage? You can read about it at Fox News."

Shorter Uncommon Truths: "How dare anyone take political advantage of people who aren't dead yet?"

Shorter Mathew Siscoe: "Isn't it just like those French to act like the cowardly, cheese-eating surrender monkeys we've accused them of being all these years?"

Your daily soil.

"OHMI ... never mind." My God, but this is losing its novelty value.

Problem? What problem?

The Rona Ambrose methodology for classifying endangered species based on population count: "Well, there's one, two, three ... uh, lots. We're good, then."

"Hey, when I said 'accountability,' I didn't mean for ME."

Shorter Strong Conservative: "It's critically important to be able to assign blame for all terrorist-inflicted deaths, except for, of course, those that have already happened."

Hey, shit happens, right?

[Bonus idiocy below.]

As a demonstration of how he's just a fair-and-balanced kind of guy, Mike sucks it up and takes GOP Sen. George Allen to task for his recent racist comments since, as Mike writes, "I've attacked the left for various examples of racism they've displayed recently, so it's only fair I hold one of my own accountable to [sic], in order to be fair."

Good for you, Mike. So I can't wait to read what you have to say about this. Last time I looked, while those of us on the Left might make the occasional tacky or tasteless remark, we generally draw the line at assaulting people with pool cues, throwing them through glass doors and breaking their bones. It's just the way we are.

AND THE FUN NEVER ENDS: Today's WaPo has a number of letters regarding Allen's racial insult, my favourite being this one in his defense from Sophia A. Nelson of Brambleton:

Mr. Allen is a good man who made a mistake in rendering someone's name wrong.

Sure. The young man's name is "Sidarth" and Allen referred to him as "Macaca." I make that mistake all the time, but normally it takes a few drinks.

JESUS CHRIST, is this kind of stupidity contagious? Do you get it from shaking hands at GOP conventions or something? Go read.

OHMIGOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA ...

To paraphrase Kate McMillan, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Seriously.

Is Bush an idiot?

Are you shitting me? This must be the trick question of all time.

OHMIGOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA ... never mind, carry on.

Shorter Hot Air: "No WMDs in Iraq after all? Yeah, whatever."

The Angry, Angry ... uh, wait a minute.

After you process this, I'm sure you'll agree that the Blogging Tories desperately need to produce another spate of articles on the shrieking, lunatic, moonbat Left. After all, that's what being "fair and balanced" is all about.

It's called an "analogy," Gerry.

Can I get me some outrage in the house?

Somewhere in NDP leader Jack Layton’s closet hangs a $287 leather jacket that’s a symbol of what’s wrong with this country’s labour laws.

The jacket was a gift to Layton from union bosses during the last federal election.

So what’s so symbolic about that?

Just this: the jacket was purchased with the dues of unionized employees, who didn’t have any say as to whether or not Layton deserved such a gift.

And they don’t have any say thanks to Canada’s labour laws which permit union bosses to take dues – dues which unionized employees must pay – and use them to finance their own political agendas.

If unionized employees don’t happen to support their union bosses’ political agenda, well that’s just too bad.

Clearly, something is wrong with the system.

So it's sort of like the forced, public taxpayer-funded Catholic school system in Ontario, except on a much, much, much, much, much, much smaller scale. Sort of like that.

Fucking CBC.

Why does the CBC hate Israel? And you just know that, somewhere, a Blogging Tory is watching that video and thinking, "I don't get it ... what's the problem?".

OH, DEAR. I'm pretty sure somebody's going to have some 'splainin to do.

These are not the droids you're looking for.

You say "historical revisionism" like it's a bad thing:

This moment of neo-conservative pseudo-triumphalism is brought to you by George W. Bush, the Republican Party and Adobe Photoshop.

Adobe Photoshop: Because we've always been at war with Eurasia.

(Major props to Alison at Creekside for the artwork.)

Pay no attention to that propaganda behind the curtain.

Writing for The Daily Show must be the world's easiest job.

You keep using that word "loyalty" ...

Well, there's the party line (all emphasis added):

Forget "compassionate conservatism." While you're at it, toss the "reformer with results." Education, taxes, welfare reform -- none of those things really matter. For George W. Bush, one issue matters: loyalty. You're with him or you're not. There's no in-between...

Loyalty has been a recurring theme of Bush's campaign for the White House...

Then there's loyalty, Admiral Bunnypants-style:

Q Does the President support the Republican candidate for Senate in Connecticut?

MR. SNOW: The President supports the democratic process in the state of Connecticut, and wishes them a successful election in November.

Q Wait a minute. I realize he supports democracy, but I'm wondering, does he actually support his own party's candidate?

MR. SNOW: I know that's not news --

Q Why aren't you committing -- why wouldn't the President commit support for the Republican candidate in that --

MR. SNOW: I don't know. Why do you ask? Is there something about the candidate that I should know about that would lead to judgments?

Q I'm just asking you --

MR. SNOW: No, that's just a --

Q -- it seems like a very natural thing, why wouldn't he support a member of his own party? Is it because he's well behind in the polls? Is it because the President likes Joe Lieberman? What's -- why not?

MR. SNOW: There may be -- there are a whole host of reasons the President -- I'm just not going to play.

I see an unfortunate accident in someone's future. I'm thinking of starting a pool.

All the news that's fit to ignore.

A liberal blogger producing a caricature of Joe Lieberman in blackface? Blogging Tories go batshit fucking crazy with outrage.

Republican George Allen referring to an Indian-American as a "macaca?"

*crickets*

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: Damian Penny comes through and, for that, a tip of the hat. Sadly though, a couple of his commenters insist on being walking advertisements for Soylent Green.

Support the troops, baby! Yeah!

Welcome home -- don't bother to unpack:

About 300 Alaska-based soldiers sent home from Iraq just before their unit's deployment was extended last month must now go back, the Army said Monday, setting up a wrenching departure for troops and families who thought their service there was finished.

As George W. Bush likes to say, "We will not cut and run." And by "we," he means "you." But you knew that already, right?

With allies like this ...

Let the finger-pointing begin:

Amid the political and diplomatic fallout from Israel’s faltering invasion of Lebanon, some Israeli officials are privately blaming President George W. Bush for egging Prime Minister Ehud Olmert into the ill-conceived military adventure against the Hezbollah militia in south Lebanon.

Taking military advice from George W. Bush. What can possibly go wrong?

"OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMI ... um ... never mind, carry on."

Phase one: The hyper-ventilating gullibility:

Three Palestinian men were arrested by the FBI with assistance from Detroit and other local law enforcement. They were suspected of planning to attack the Mackinac Bridge in norther Michigan which links the upper and lower penninsulas and is one of the largest bridges in North America.

Phase two: Reality sets in:

Meanwhile, Michigan officials kept three Texans locked up even after Michigan state police and FBI officials said they were apparently wide-eyed tourists rather than would-be terrorists when they photographed the Mackinac Bridge.

The men -- brothers Adham Othman, 21, of Dallas and Louai Othman, 23, of Mesquite, and their cousin Awad Muhareb, 18, of Mesquite -- were stopped by police Friday outside a Wal-Mart store in Caro with about 1,000 cellphones in their van.

Local prosecutors charged them with collecting or providing materials for terrorist acts and surveillance of a vulnerable target for terrorist purposes.

The FBI questioned them for several hours after their arrest, then released a statement saying that "there is no imminent threat" to the bridge, which links Michigan's Upper and Lower peninsulas.

State Police Director Col. Peter Munoz said Monday that the men "may have been involved in some other fraudulent activities, but there is no nexus to terrorism or a terrorist threat."

Authorities in both states feared the cell phones could be used in terrorism attacks -- such phones were used in 2004 to detonate terrorist bombs in Madrid. But relatives and friends of the men called them innocent entrepreneurs buying cheap phones for marked-up resale. They were targeted, supporters said, because of their Arab heritage.

Phase three: The sheepish retraction.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! You were actually waiting for phase three, weren't you? Suckers.

"Words mean what I decide they mean."

Submitted without comment.

OK, I LIED. It's amusing to watch Mehlman re-invent history since, if you Google on the combination of "Iraq" and "stay the course," you get over a million hits. Naturally, many of those won't be directly applicable here, but it shows how prevalent that expression has been.

Now Mehlman is tossing out the new right-wing mantra, "Win by adapting." And just how long has that expression been around? I thought as much.

It's a perspective thing, I guess.

On the one hand:

Israel, the United States and allied Western states accuse Syria and Iran of supporting Hezbollah with arms and cash.

On the other hand:

The Bush administration is rushing a delivery of precision-guided bombs to Israel, which requested the expedited shipment last week after beginning its air campaign against Hezbollah targets in Lebanon, American officials said Friday.

I'm sure any snark here would be utterly superfluous.

"Shut up," he explained.

Shorter General Peter Pace: "When I said I wanted to take your questions, apparently you thought I meant it."

Blowback can be a real bitch, can't it?

Oh, dear ... and who didn't see this coming?

NEW YORK --It takes at least 10 minutes and a large glass of orange juice to wash down all the pills -- morphine, methadone, a muscle relaxant, an antidepressant, a stool softener. Viagra for sexual dysfunction. Valium for his nerves.

Four hours later, Herbert Reed will swallow another 15 mg of morphine to cut the pain clenching every part of his body. He will do it twice more before the day is done.

Since he left a bombed-out train depot in Iraq, his gums bleed. There is more blood in his urine, and still more in his stool. Bright light hurts his eyes. A tumor has been removed from his thyroid. Rashes erupt everywhere, itching so badly they seem to live inside his skin. Migraines cleave his skull. His joints ache, grating like door hinges in need of oil.

So what's the problem, Herb?

Reed believes depleted uranium has contaminated him and his life. He now walks point in a vitriolic war over the Pentagon's arsenal of it -- thousands of shells and hundreds of tanks coated with the metal that is radioactive, chemically toxic, and nearly twice as dense as lead.

And where did all this nasty shit come from? Oh, right:

Colonel James Naughton of US Army Materiel Command said Iraqi complaints about depleted uranium (DU) shells had no medical basis.

"They want it to go away because we kicked the crap out of them," he told a Pentagon briefing.

If war starts, tonnes of depleted uranium (DU) weapons are likely to be used by British and American tanks and by ground attack aircraft.

There's a certain savage irony to the U.S. having howled ceaselessly about the danger of Saddam Hussein's biological and chemical weapons programs, then contaminating their own troops with massive amounts of DU.

Look on the bright side, though. Depleted uranium and these folks. Yeah, that combination works for me nicely.

"Money laundering" by any other name.

Oh, those wacky Conservatives and their anti-Kyoto money shuffle. (I see Declan is all over this as well, as is BigCityLib.) If only some PhotoShopping was involved, by God, we'd have them.

Dear Blogging Tories: Photoshop this.

Given the extended ragegasm of the Blogging Tories over the recent "More-smoke-gate" Photoshop controversy, one can only imagine their imminent, seething fury over this. By God, the furor should begin any minute now. Yessir, any minute now ... here it comes ... wait for it ... any minute now ...

Ehud Olmert: Dead man walking.

I thought that went well, don't you?

Let's all pitch in -- Steve Janke needs our help.

There comes a time when we must set aside our ideological differences and help the less fortunate and less intellectually-endowed:

I have never banned anyone from Angry in the Great White North. I take pride in that. I have had comments that were dead right, dead wrong, and some that were so long that I couldn't be bothered to read them to find out one way or the other. Some people are unfailingly polite, and some amusingly coarse, and some just plain nasty.

But until this comment by Deb Frisch, I have never had one that was calculatingly deceptive and designed to cause hurt to someone else.

So do I ban her IP address? I'm not sure. Post your vote. Know that this blog isn't a democracy, and that I'll take the final decision myself.

There are a couple responses to this. One is from Steve's own Blogging Tory colleague, Stephen Taylor:

Lately we've been hearing a lot about the disgraceful and questionable acts of a very small (and extreme) minority that unfortunately end up tarnishing the good standing of a community at large.

To attribute the actions of a handful of radicals to the behaviour of an entire group of people is, by definition, prejudice, stereotyping, and unbecoming of the liberal society in which we find ourselves...

... I encourage all members of the community (and the broader society) to applaud individuals when they make well-reasoned arguments and to criticize them when they don't. We must marginalize extreme opinion where we can, but we must also engage it as fellow conservatives (and Canadians) that disagree.

Let me respond more succinctly. Dear Mr. Janke: Jesus, Mary, Mother of God, shut the hell up and quit your childish whining. Either ban her, or don't ban her, but make a decision and move on, and stop being such a pathetic, whiny-ass titty baby who's simply trying to milk this issue down to the last drop. In short, grow the fuck up.

Now, where was I? Oh, right, bladder control undergarments ...

DEAR GOD, THE WANKERY CONTINUES as someone has clearly slipped half a kilo of pure Colombian estrogen into the punch bowl and Steve Janke HQ has morphed into a thoroughly gorge-rising episode of "The View": "Don't worry, Steve, it's all right, we're here for you if you need to cry. I love you, man. Group hug, everybody."

Then they all went out for coolers and Zimas.

Hey! Being fair and balanced is, like, hard work.

Shorter Joanne's Journey: "I am positively outraged with the slanted, biased reporting at the CBC. And to show that I can be objective, there was also that appallingly dishonest story in the National Post about Iran and Jews and badges and ... whoops, I see we're out of time, thanks for dropping by."

"OHMIGOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA ... hang on, what's this?"

Uh oh ... it's possible that the "101st Pants-Wetting Brigade" might have soiled themselves for nothing (all emphasis added):

NBC News has learned that U.S. and British authorities had a significant disagreement over when to move in on the suspects in the alleged plot to bring down trans-Atlantic airliners bound for the United States.

A senior British official knowledgeable about the case said British police were planning to continue to run surveillance for at least another week to try to obtain more evidence, while American officials pressured them to arrest the suspects sooner.

Because, when it comes to dealing with terrorism, the proper strategy is to rush in prematurely and perhaps jeopardize the entire investigation. But an attack was imminent, right? Right?

In contrast to previous reports, the official suggested an attack was not imminent, saying the suspects had not yet purchased any airline tickets. In fact, some did not even have passports.

This news flash brought to you by Depends, the official bladder control undergarments of the Blogging Tories. Depends -- when it's never too early to crap your pants in sheer terror.

Busted!

On the one hand, it has to be embarrassing to realize that you're too stupid to be a successful troll. On the other hand, we may still have an opening for you.

"Timely" does not even BEGIN to describe this.

As a warmup, feel free to waste some time over at Assclown Central, watching people soil themselves in stark terror. Done? Now read the antidote from someone who isn't a member of the stupidest demographic on the goddamned planet.

Ah, sweet release, is it not?

Almost famous.

Apparently, I'm hot and I'm on the web. That and $1.29 will get me a double-double at Timmy's, I'm sure.

Wherein reality deals Wankerville a mighty blow.

Well, given the current, thoroughly predictable ragegasm from the "I Just Wet My Pants" contingent over the latest terrorist hysteria, what have we here (all emphasis added):

While the British terror suspects were hatching their plot, the Bush administration was quietly seeking permission to divert $6 million that was supposed to be spent this year developing new homeland explosives detection technology.

Darn -- just the sort of thing that would be handy to, you know, detect explosives. But wait. It gets so much better:

The most frightening thing about the foiled plot to use liquid explosives to blow up airplanes over the Atlantic is that both the government and the aviation industry have been aware of the liquid bomb threat for years but have done little to prepare for it. What saved everyone was apparently superb intelligence work by the British, who apprehended the terrorists before they could carry out their scheme. It is unlikely that any of the scanning machines or screening personnel deployed at airports would have detected the potentially destructive materials before they could be carried aboard.

The Wankerville Department of Homeland Security: Protecting the general public, one terrorist tube of toothpaste at a time.

SNARK AT NO EXTRA CHARGE: Perhaps the funniest part of that NYT editorial is the following (emphasis added):

The plot apparently called for the terrorists to carry explosive ingredients disguised as beverages, and detonators made from common electronic devices like cellphones or music players. One theory is that they planned to use chemicals that are innocuous when carried separately but could be combined into an explosive mixture on board.

By God -- using ingredients that, separately, are completely harmless and only turn into a lethal explosive when mixed. Those tricky, tricky bastards. So how would one properly dispose of such dangerous chemicals in a crowded airport terminal building?

At this point, snark just plain eludes me.

Wanker of the week.

Damian Penny, whose infantile "Me too, me too!" cheerleading is so thoroughly eviscerated by the Zerb, who removes Damian's wee-wee and hands it back to him on a plate. And, one suspects, not for the first time.

You call THAT a bitch slap?

"That's not a bitch slap. THIS is a bitch slap."

Uh oh ... the natives are getting a mite uppity.

In which our intrepid neo-con adventurer (whose blog motto is "Where left is never right") pokes his head out of the hermetically-sealed Blogging Tory echo chamber and gets bitch-slapped soundly by reality.

The death of innocence is always painful. Funny, but painful.

Because it's all about the hits, baby.

Via Canada's Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck:

Blogging Tories have launched Terror Watch. Be sure to add it to your blogroll.

Because, as we all know, if you don't link to the Blogging Tories, the terrorists will have won.

Killing two birds with one ... OK, maybe not the best analogy.

I'd never thought of this, but that's only because I'm not mentally retarded:

Airport security screeners scrambled to implement a new ban on all liquids and gels -- from lip gloss and toothpaste to perfume and tequila -- in carry-on luggage after British authorities announced Thursday the arrest of 24 people in an alleged plot to blow up U.S.-bound planes. Baby formula, prescription medication and essential nonprescription medication are still allowed...

Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport planned to give 11 boxes of surrendered items to the city's human services department, which will give the unopened bottles of shampoo, toothpaste and other items to homeless shelters, airport spokeswoman Lexie Van Haren said.

Your U.S. Department of Homeland Security: Confiscating potentially lethal explosives and solving the homeless problem at the same time.

(H/T AmericaBlog.)

"Daily Show" brilliance.

Oh, yeah, this one's a keeper.

Wretchedly dishonest or breathtakingly stupid?

We link, you decide.

P.S. And that's "Cerberus," not "Cerebrus." Or just "Skippy" to his friends.

There's a fine line between brilliance and madness ...

... but this piece on fighting terrorism seems to strike that perfect balance. No, seriously, it's awesome.

There's rules for YOU, and there's rules for ME.

From the comments section back here, we have some people being vewwwy, vewwwy careful to not over-generalize:

I agree with Lanny that we cannot assume ANYTHING about this person that posted on Rose's blog, except that they are severely disturbed. This is the ONLY proof we have from the few hateful words they left on Rose's post.

because damning an entire demographic based on the behaviour of a single whack job would be a bad thing.

OK, so maybe it's not always a bad thing:

A member in good standing of the Angry Left, Deb Frisch, ...

I'm guessing it's a context thing.

Apparently, consistency is hard work.

Kate McMillan, August 7: "Reuters are a bunch of lying, dishonest, terrorist-loving hacks."

Kate McMillan, August 11: "Hey, everybody! Good news, and you know it's for real 'cuz it's from Reuters." (See link regarding "reaching recruiting goals.")

Canada's Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck: When you refuse to let shrieking, maniacal mood swings get in the way of your right-wing news coverage.

GRATUITOUS AFTERSNARK: Do I even have to mention that the U.S. Army is meeting its quotas only because it's lowering its standards? Which leads to, well, this sort of thing.

Think of it as the Kate McMillan fan club. With automatic weapons.

A few actual casualties and we are SO in business.

Well, sure, it was a massive, massive terrorist plot to kill an unimaginable number of people but, hey, let's look on the bright side:

"Weeks before September 11th, this is going to play big," said another White House official, who also spoke on condition of not being named, adding that some Democratic candidates won't "look as appealing" under the circumstances.

The right wing: when you need to combine unimaginable mass murder and the word "appealing" in the same sentence.

Plus ca change and all that.

The classics never go out of style, do they?

"Why, of course, the people don't want war ... That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship."

"... voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."
-- Nazi Reichmarshall Hermann Goering, 1945

"What's wrong with you people?"
-- Kate McMillan, 2006

Godwin's Law, in one post. Slam fucking dunk. Top that, bee-yotch.

"The Angry, Angry Left."

Reportedly by following a link from a comment she left on Liberal Catnip's site, regular reader Procrastinatrix had a reader from Small Dead Animals pop by this post of hers, in which Procrastinatrix is talking about her 19-month-old nephew going in for cancer surgery, whereupon said visitor left the following delightful bit of moral support and compassionate conservatism (which I quote in full):

hope the little fucker dies

But don't sweat it, Stephen. After all, it would be ever so tacky and classless to issue a "blanket condemnation of the entire right-wing blogosphere for the fringe opinion of one sole member." Or one of its commenters.

On the other hand, Steve, this thing with Small Dead Animals and publicly wanting people dead -- you might want to nip that in the bud. Advertisers might start getting a bit squeamish being associated with that sort of thing. It's just bad for business, know what I mean?

I fear for my safety. Seriously.

Let me see if I can summarize this:

"My God, it never occurred to us that evildoers might use knives and box-cutters to take over an airplane and use that to kill thousands of people, so now we'll stop them from bringing those deadly weapons on board!"

"My God, we never believed that evildoers might hide explosive material in their shoes of all places, so now we'll make sure we check everyone's shoes really, really carefully!"

"My God, who on earth could have possibly imagined that evildoers might try to kill innocent people by bringing liquid explosives on board with them, so now we're definitely going to crack down on that sort of thing!"

Your government anti-terrorist agencies: When thinking ahead is just too much like work.

Because, sometimes ...

... all you have left is merciless parody.

I see ... people who have a freakin' clue.

So, on the one hand, you have numerous Canadian wankers (read: Blogging Tories) who, through the clouds of their various medications, claim that the recent Ned Lamont primary victory in Connecticut is a gift for the GOP. And, on the other hand, you have people who are not terminally bewildered.

Who to believe? Decisions, decisions ...

SPEAKING OF STUPID ... Man, everybody's got their talking points in the morning mail, haven't they?

Now THERE'S a smart move.

From the latest news coverage of the Islamojihadifarian terrorist threat (emphasis added):

Officials raised security to its highest level in Britain - suggesting a terrorist attack might be imminent - and banned carry-on luggage on all trans-Atlantic flights. Huge crowds formed at security barriers at London's Heathrow airport as officials searching for explosives barred nearly every form of liquid outside of baby formula.

So ... if I was an evil Islamojihadifarian terrorist and wanted to sneak a liquid bomb past security, I wonder how I might possibly do that. No, no, don't tell me, I'm keen to guess.

Barbarians at the comments section.

Oh, dear. Poor Catnip. And for those of you who may be coming to this for the first time, a recap of bloviating, neo-con wanker hysteria over the years:

"OHMIGOD, Saddam has weapons of mass destruction and ... um ... OHMIGOD, Saddam has mobile, biological weapons labs and ... um ... OHMIGOD, Saddam is in league with al-Qaeda and was behind the 9/11 terrorist attacks and ... um ... OHMIGOD, Saddam is buying yellowcake from Niger to make nuclear bombs and ... um ... OHMIGOD, Iran is going to make Jews wear badges and ... um ... OHMIGOD, more bad things are about to happen, run, run, for God's sake, run!!"

Did I miss anything?

All of the credit and none of the blame.

Predictably, Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck and the Redneckettes are all over the latest Islamojihadifarian terror scare, and wondering just what the hell is wrong with those of us who are not getting terrified so much as just getting old and jaded by all of this. But this latest hysteria brings up a ticklish question.

Apparently, as one after another evil, swarthy terrorist plot is thwarted, we are supposed to be boundlessly grateful to those courageous and tenacious authorities who manage to nip these schemes in the bud just in the nick of time. Yes, the most compelling proof of their successful tenacity is, of course, the utter lack of recent, actual attacks. ("Of course this elephant repellent is successful. You don't see any elephants around here, do you?")

So we're supposed to give these people all of the credit for our ongoing safety, but that inspires the obvious question, then: Are we then allowed to heap the blame on these folks when something does go horribly, horribly wrong and people end up dying?

The Bush administration is constantly crowing about how their dogged efforts to protect the American public have resulted in no actual terrorist attacks in, what is it now, almost five years? Of course, they'll conveniently forget about that bit of unpleasantness of September 11, 2001, which is, naturally, everyone else's fault.

So, the question stands: If these folks are constantly going on about how we should be grateful that they're protecting us, are they equally willing to take the blame and let the proper heads roll when/if they eventually fuck up? Or will that always be someone else's fault?

And why do I insist on asking such painfully rhetorical questions?

There's dumb ...

... and then there's Confederate Yankee dumb. I swear, I really need more of a challenge in this job.

Hyperventilate much, Stephen?

Shorter Stephen Taylor: "OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!!!!!!!"

If it's that old, it's not called "news" anymore.

Well, hush my puppies ... I didn't even realize there was a "Political Wingnut of the Week" award, and I'm flattered to have been a small (utterly unintentional) part of it. But if we can extend that award to cover commenters, I'd like to nominate "nomdenet" from that very Daifallah piece, who writes (on Aug 9, keep in mind):

Now the question for Hilary [sic] as a Presidential candidate in 2008 is – who will she support for Senator in Connecticut? The Lamont pacifist, i.e. the McGovern, Carter, Michael Moore wannabe? Or Joe the independent , former Democratic VP contender.

And from back on July 4 (over a month earlier), we have Hillary herself:

"I've known Joe Lieberman for more than thirty years. I have been pleased to support him in his campaign for re-election, and hope that he is our party's nominee. But I want to be clear that I will support the nominee chosen by Connecticut Democrats in their primary. I believe in the Democratic party; and I believe we must honor the decisions made by Democratic primary voters. The challenges before us in 2006 call for a strong, united party, in which we all support and work for the candidates who are selected in the Democratic process."

The Blogging Tories: when being hopelessly uninformed is still good enough.

SLIGHTLY-MIFFED AFTERSNARK. In breaking with tradition, I decided to leave a comment on the Daifallah article above. It's been an hour since I submitted it and it still hasn't shown up, which suggests that Mr. Daifallah has the kind of thoroughly-grating sense of self-importance which demands that he pre-screen all comments to make sure nothing gets in that would offend the delicate sensibilities of he or his readers.

I'm pretty sure that's why they call it a "bubble."

Jackass: The Stephen Harper edition.

"L'etat, c'est moi." And ... how curious ... no outraged, howling counter-attack from the Blogging Tories. I'm sure it's coming ...

Dear Stephen: Drop dead.

I'm sorry ... hadn't you heard? It's now all right to wish death on other people. Kate McMillan says so.

Joe Lieberman must die!

Of course the title is hyperbole, you dingbat. But beneath the tawdry, childish sensationalism lies a straightforward fact -- Joe Lieberman has to be tossed out of the Democratic Party. Right fucking now.

The instant Joe said, in his whiny-ass concession speech:

Tomorrow, our campaign will file the necessary petitions [to secure a place on the November ballot] so that we can continue this campaign for a new politics of unity and purpose.

was the instant he stopped being a Democrat, and he should be treated as such.

Right this instant, he should be stripped of all of his committee and caucus memberships, and every other perk that comes with being a Democrat, including every cent of funding he gets from the party.

The moment Joe announced his run as an independent was the moment he left the party, and it's only right that the party help him out the door.

Damian Penny: When breathtakingly stupid just isn't stupid enough.

[Adam Daifallah update below.]

I swear, every time I think I've reached the bottom of the intellectual barrel over at the Blogging Tories, someone comes along and lifts up the barrel. Witness the latest spectacular idiocy from Damian Penny. Let's start slowly, shall we, so as not to startle the children:

Victory for the Nutroots

Why, sure, and there's no better way to give credit to all of those involved in the democratic process than to insult them collectively. Any more insults on tap, Damian? Ah, here we go:

Kongratulations, Kossacks.

But of course, since Markos and his dark minions personally infiltrated the political process in Connecticut and brainwashed almost 150,000 citizens to vote for Ned Lamont. My word, but that Kos fellow is a tricky, tricky bastard. (Activists working on behalf of Joe Lieberman were, naturally, taking a stand based purely on principle. But you knew that, right?)

But here's the most glorious part of Damian's unspeakable dumbfuckitude:

What was a guaranteed safe seat for the Democrats is now wide open.

Why, yes, Damian -- if all those progressive activists had left things well enough alone, it would have been a cakewalk for Lieberman this November. And what does one glean from this? Quite simply, that for a lot of these people, simply being a Democrat wasn't enough anymore.

What it shows is that there were a lot of folks who were fed up with Lieberman sucking up to the GOP every chance he had, and these people were willing to put it on the line to replace him with someone with principle. If all these people cared about was electing a Democrat, then they would have kept their hands off and Holy Joe would have waltzed to victory, crushing whatever sacrificial lamb the GOP offered up come election time.

But just having a Dem going to the Senate wasn't enough for these people, was it? Which is why they took the chance, and put in all that work, and blogged, and organized, and walked door-to-door, and donated their time and money. Because they actually had some fucking principle, Damian -- something you wouldn't recognize if it walked up to you and kneed you in the groin.

146,041 people in Connecticut decided they'd had enough of Holy Joe Lieberman's duplicitous back-stabbing and took it upon themselves to replace him with someone who they supported more. And, in Damian Penny's eyes, well, that's just 146,041 "nutroots" and "Kossacks."

I'm not sure I'll find anything stupider on the BT site today but, just to play it safe, I'll check in over at Adam Daifallah's place later. You just never know.

ASK, AND YE SHALL RECEIVE. Oh, geez ... all you have to do is wish for some Adam-inspired stupidity and it appears, as Adam writes:

Lieberman lost.

Good beginning, Adam. Always start with a known fact so you can't possibly be 100% wrong.

The George McGovern wing of the Democratic Party has flexed its muscle, ...

Jesus Christ ... how fucking stupid do you have to be to describe almost 150,000 Connecticut voters as "the George McGovern wing of the Democratic Party?" Is there anything these idiots won't hyper-generalize into ten words or less? But that's just the warmup for this bit of lunacy:

... giving the Republicans a nice little political gift for the November elections.

Did they, Adam? Did they really? Because, the way I read it, the GOP are shitting their pants in pure terror since it's now become painfully obvious that George Bush is politically radioactive, and anything that he touches turns to absolute crap, and Holy Joe Lieberman is living proof of that. But, hey, don't take my word for it -- why not read someone who actually has a fucking clue?

You keep hanging out in that echo chamber of yours, Adam. Because anyone who imagines that this latest development is good news for the GOP deserves to be bitch-slapped by reality when it comes calling.

Wickedly clever humour, wingnut style.

Brace yourself, folks -- we got some serious, kick-ass, cutting edge, political humour from the wankersphere, courtesy of "Conservative Canadien" Scott A., who challenges us with a caption contest. Ready? Set? Go:

The Blogging Tories: Because you don't want to get your infantile, shoulder-shrugging, humourless political observations from just anyone.

Dear Joe: Why you suck.

Athenae sums it up nicely, which is why anyone who continues to claim that Joe Lieberman was defeated solely because of his support for the Iraq war really should be dragged outside and clubbed like a baby seal.

P.S. And, no, that's not the position of the "Angry Left," it's just me, OK? For once in your dishonest, worthless lives, try to tell the two apart.

Joe Lieberman and Blogging Tory idiocy. Part 2.

I'm guessing it's going to be a very Joe Lieberman kind of day, responding to unspeakable Blogging Tory dumbfuckery like this (all emphasis added):

The Democrats slide even further left...and into irrelevance.

And since when has 50% ever been considered "heavy turnout?"

Let's let CNN handle that one:

Voter turnout was high in the high-profile primary fight, according to Connecticut Secretary of State Susan Bysiewicz. Bysiewicz predicted Tuesday that turnout for the primary could reach 45 percent to 50 percent, nearly double the normal turnout for a primary election.

CC HQ: When you need your daily dose of Blogging Tory dumbassitude, and don't want to go looking for it.

The Lieberman fallout, Blogging Tory-style. Part 1.

There is oh so much that can be written about the self-destruction of that political skank Democrat Joe Lieberman but we can start with one simple observation: The fact that so many Blogging Tories support him would seem to be reason enough to kick his sorry ass out of office. I mean, seriously, when the wankersphere so unanimously admires a Democrat, do you really need more excuse to end that miserable, traitorous fucker's career?

Much more to come as the caffeine starts to take hold.

Well, I'm glad we settled THAT.

Apparently, you can't dislike Joe Lieberman without being virulently hateful and anti-Semitic. Kate McMillan and the Wall Street Journal say so.

Of course, if you prefer not to be an ignorant douchebag like Canada's Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck, you might want to read Steve Gilliard to understand why so many Dems despise that wretched little quisling Lieberman.

Be ignorant. Or don't be ignorant. The choice is entirely yours.

Sometimes you find good advice in the darndest places.

Stephen Taylor of the Blogging Tories has some timely advice:

Lately we've been hearing a lot about the disgraceful and questionable acts of a very small (and extreme) minority that unfortunately end up tarnishing the good standing of a community at large.

To attribute the actions of a handful of radicals to the behaviour of an entire group of people is, by definition, prejudice, stereotyping, and unbecoming of the liberal society in which we find ourselves.

Hear, hear, Stephen. So I'm sure it's just a matter of time before you tell the rest of your BT colleagues to shut the fuck up when it comes to criticizing the entire Reuters news agency for the actions of a single photographer.

Or do you just talk the talk?

Altered images and rancid hypocrisy.

I was all set to do a piece on the hysterical over-reaction of the wingnut-o-sphere to the digitally-altered images published by the Reuters news agency but -- oh, lucky me -- Glenn Greenwald beat me to it. I particularly like this bit:

Ironically, one of the anti-Reuters lynch mob leaders, Little Green Footballs, defended Fox's publication of false Kerry quotes by arguing that Fox "pulled the article down and apologized for it the same day. That is, of course, how a responsible news organization handles a situation like this" (emphasis added). That, of course, is precisely what Reuters did with the altered photographs. In fact, the agency went much further by removing all of the photographs and announcing it will never use that photographer again. Fox, by contrast, refused to remove Cameron from covering the Kerry campaign and continues to employ him. Worse, Fox excused itself by claiming that publication of the fake quotes "occurred because of fatigue and bad judgment, not malice."

I swear, we need to invent another word for this, since "hypocrisy" just doesn't seem to do it justice, does it?

BONUS WANKERY AT NO EXTRA CHARGE: And while we're on the subject of whatever is beyond hypocrisy ... Jesus Christ, but these people are vile little turds, aren't they?

Yesterday's statements are, apparently, inoperative.

(All emphasis tail-waggingly added.)
June 26, 2006:

President George W. Bush said on Monday he had met with the top U.S. commander in Iraq, who has drafted a plan for troop withdrawal, but said any decision on troop reductions would be based on conditions on the ground.

"In terms of our troop presence there, that decision will be made by General (George) Casey as well as the sovereign government of Iraq based upon conditions on the ground," Bush said. Any recommendation by Casey would be "aimed toward achieving victory," he said.

August 14, 2006 issue:

The Bush administration insists Iraq is a long way from civil war, but the contingency planning has already begun inside the White House and the Pentagon. President Bush will move U.S. troops out of Iraq if the country descends into civil war, according to one senior Bush aide who declined to be named while talking about internal strategy. "If there's a full-blown civil war, the president isn't going to allow our forces to be caught in the crossfire," the aide said

"Cut and run" by any other name ...

It's all in a name.

Apparently, people named "Antonia" are just born to raise hell.

I see demented people.

From over at Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck, we have commenter "FREE" responding to "Bob the Troll":

boob isnt just a troll he is a terrorist supporting traitor that should swing from a rope like all his pals in the liberano party.

And don't forget, "No one hates like the Angry Left." It's the phrase that pays.

I see ... really, really dead people.

Apparently, the suspicious perfection of pics from the war zone is still driving the wankersphere into paroxysms of skepticism. For example, there's this image:

of which blogger "Drinking From Home" writes:

There’s something strangely familiar about these pictures taken today, and I don’t think it’s the way the severed arm just happens to be lying with aesthetic perfection a few inches from the dead body.

Why, yes, and that's the very first thing that occurred to me -- the great composition of that detached limb. Sometimes, if you're a photographer, life is good, I guess.

An uncontrolled ragegasm is a fearsome thing.

If you get there quickly enough, you'll see the fury and splendor of a Michelle Malkin ragegasm in full bloom, as she goes absolutely batshit crazy over the recent, thoroughly-discredited photoshopping of Beirut.

But hark ... something about all of this seems disturbingly familiar. Why, yes ... yes, it is, since GOP senator Mike DeWine (R - Lying Hack) was recently caught (oh, the delicious irony) adding fake smoke to the World Trade Center Towers in his campaign material (scroll to almost the bottom).

Man, I'll bet Michelle was just pissed about that, you bet. Right, Michelle?

*Crickets*.

You knew THIS was coming.

If the Middle East is in turmoil and you're the leader of the most powerful nation in the free world, what would you do? That's right.

Oh, those GOP family values.

I'm following the upcoming Connecticut Democratic primary between "Rape Gurney" Joe and businessman Ned Lamont and, every so often, there's some unintentional hilarity, as when a member of the Lieberyouth was caught stealing Lamont yard signs:

"Why did you take those signs?"
"I'm just excercising my freedom of expression"
"No, you're stealing."

The Right: Dishonest? Or just stupid? We report, you decide.

Cheap humour just because, sometimes, I'm unspeakably lazy.

You, yes, you, can be a Blogging Tory "Blog of the Month." And how exactly does one attain such an exalted title? By breaking an exciting news story? By the sheer quality of one's posts? Oh, wait, here it is:

The Blogging Tories have decided to recognize those members who drive the most traffic to the Blogging Tories web site...

Every month the top five referrers will be listed as "Blogs on [sic] the Month" on the main BT web page.

I'm thinking they can start selling peerages next.

Apologies are for thee but not for me.

If you genuinely want a look into the thoroughly twisted psyche of the neo-con, look no further than the frantic activity of the wankersphere over the last several hours, as right-wing wanks everywhere have been going absolutely ballistic over a clearly-doctored photo of Beirut.

Having gone thoroughly wingnut over the original pic, that same wankersphere is currently pounding itself on the back with congratulations now that Reuters has admitted that the shot was altered, and is withdrawing it. Which proves ... um, what exactly?

Wankers everywhere are howling with bloodlust over how they defeated the evil liberal media, but it's not clear what happened here. Given the compressed time frame, it's not at all outrageous to suppose that Reuters might have had the same response if someone had just politely emailed them and pointed out the obvious digital alteration. It's quite possible that the reaction might have been something like, "Oh, you're right, there is clearly something altered about that image, and we're going to get to the bottom of this. Thank you for bringing this to our attention."

Is there any reason to think it might have happened that way? No more than there's any reason to think it wouldn't have but if Reuters had responded with just a "Whoops, you're right," you and I both know there wouldn't have been a story. Which is why we have total wanks like Damian Penny (Canada's poster child for how to become a high-profile blogger while having no discernible talent whatsoever) writing:

REUTERS BLINKS

The news service has admitted one of its photos from Beirut was doctored with photo-editing software. The picture has been withdrawn.

Israel's Ynetnews.com gives LGF credit for the kill.

See, in Damian's world, Reuters was clearly trying to con us but, in the face of a concerted attack from the wingnut-o-sphere, they "blinked." It's not possible that it was just an honest mistake on the part of Reuters because then, no one could get credit for "the kill."

And all this cheering for smiting the forces of the biased mainstream media is, of course, coming from the same folks who, for the last five years, have swallowed every absurd idiocy coming out of the neo-con movement, in its entirety. Saddam and al-Qaeda, WMDs, yellowcake from Niger ... you name it, they bought it, hook, line and sinker. But give them one doctored photo and, holy shit, you are so fucking toast.

It's nice to see that Reuters owned up to the obvious deception. And me? I'm still waiting for those right-wing media warriors to admit they were totally snookered by Iran and badges and Jews (among so many other things). And you know what I think the chances are of that, don't you?

IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION. In a funny way, the wingnut-o-sphere have painted themselves into an awkward corner here. See, the only way it makes sense for them to be crowing about having defeated the evil, liberal media is if they take the clear position that Reuters -- the news organization itself -- was deliberately and knowingly trying to mislead the public with that pic.

If it was just an honest mistake by Reuters to accept that image, then you would think it would be to Reuter's credit to have retracted it as quickly as it did, but then it wouldn't be that big a story, would it? So for the right-wing cheering to make any sense would suggest that the residents of Wankerville really and sincerely believe that Reuters was being dishonest.

Is that what they actually believe? Hey, Damian, is that what you think? Are you willing to take a stand and make that accusation? Because without that claim, then all the cheering is just one big circle jerk. (Like that's anything new in Wankerville.)

So how about it, Damian? Are you accusing the top-level editorial staff of Reuters of being deliberately dishonest? It's a simple question. And it deserves a simple answer, don't you think?

The Amazing Blogging Karnak.

Witness the astute observational powers of the astounding Backseat Blogger:

... That’s the headline over at Liberal Catnip. It’s a blog filled with the usual Liberal claptrap but I do find it amuzing that he’s based in Calgary, Alberta.

Witness the first two lines over at Liberal Catnip:

liberal catnip

Musings from a Canadian liberal woman on the state of Canadian and US politics.

We now return you to your regular programming of right-wing wankers poring carefully over news reports and unearthing only those details available to their keen, eagle-eyed perceptions.

Irony: Because it's part of a balanced breakfast.

Apparently, the same Blogging Tories who couldn't wait to tell us all about Iran and Jews and badges are thoroughly ticked off because -- can you believe it? -- the mainstream media can't be trusted.

If I just had a blanket and a ball, I could have such fun ...

P.S. I particularly enjoy Alberta Ardvark's take on this:

I think that this will get some play in the MSM tomorrow, but Reuters will claim they were duped, apologize and expect it to go away after a day or so.

And wouldn't that be just like that damned liberal media -- to 'fess up to being hoaxed and apologize for it? When, as we all know, the proper course of action would be to bluster incessantly, smear the accusers, then suddenly change the subject and hope no one notices. After all, that's the Blogging Tory thing to do.

After all, those Liberals throw such dahling pahties, you know.

Now here's an accidental bonus from Canada's recent pro-Israel stance:

Never thought I'd see the day when the King and Queen of the Toronto Liberal cocktail circuit would make the switch. But obviously, the Tories' stand is paying off. Good for them. It's about time, actually.

This is spectacular news for the Conservatives for two main reasons: one, it will give them a new "in" into prestigious Toronto social circles.

Yes, leave it to fashion plate Adam Daifallah to suggest that one support Israel because it will definitely get you the better brand of hors d'oeuvres with your bubbly.

I mean, the deaths of numerous innocents is one thing, but a cocktail weenie is a cocktail weenie.

If we wanted your opinion, we'd beat it out of you, thanks.

Shorter Gerry Nicholls: "Speaking as a hard-core, Bible-thumping, gay-bashing, right-wing wankoid who fled politically from that very word in stark terror years ago, let me explain to those on the Left what it really means to be a 'progressive'."

Apparently, I'm a bit off-base. In the comments section, "anonymous" takes me to task, writing:

Gerry Nicholls is not, nor ever has been, a Christian, bible thumping or otherwise. He is not only pro-SSM, he's pro-gay small-l liberal. Ask him yourself if you wish; he won't deny it.

He's not too popular with the conservative wing of the Conservative Party; we regard him as a liberal wanker of the highest order.

Ah, you must forgive me but when someone, writing at the Blogging Tories and wielding a massively-wide paint brush, refers to progressives as "socialists" and describes their political beliefs as "dead-end," I'm pretty sure I can be excused for not taking the time to look him up on Wikipedia for his detailed biography.

Quite simply, if you want to hang out over at Assclown Central, you don't really have the right to complain when someone calls you a clown.

With friends like this ...

Remember the old days when the Canadian government actually worked for Canadians? Oh, yes, those were good times.

Whatchu talkin' bout, honkies?

It's been moderately entertaining (which only shows you how easily entertained we are over here at CC HQ) to watch the faux outrage from the wankersphere over the Jane Hamsher photoshop pic of Joe Lieberman in blackface. It's quite the sight -- all them white folks suddenly getting all distressed over alleged racism.

One wonders what people who actually understand the concept of racism (that is, um, black people, you know) think of all of this, so I checked in with blogging stud (and, coincidentally, black person himself) Steve Gilliard over at The News Blog who doesn't really think much of Joe Lieberman.

And I hope I'm not breaching any confidences when I reproduce Steve's note to me in full regarding his opinion of Lieberman's campaign:

Fuck them. They insult the intelligence of black people with their election strategy. Now they want to complain?

Your data point of one: when actual research would be, you know, hard work.

We have an opening for you ...

... don't slam it on the way out:

Liberal power couple Heather Reisman and Gerry Schwartz have publicly broken with the Liberal Party line on the Middle East crisis and are turning to Prime Minister Stephen Harper because of his support of Israel.

So, refresh my memory -- would this represent a courageous, personal decision based on principle, or being disgusting, politically-expedient, selfish whores? I keep getting those two confused.

It's Wednesday, so I must be outraged by bigotry.

Apparently, a bunch of the kool kidz over at the Blogging Tories are downright appalled at the disgusting classlessness of racially-tinged photoshopping.

I can't wait for someone to explain this to Kate McMillan. I suggest the "short straw" method but, then again, anything involving conversation with Kate McMillan pretty much defines a short straw moment, doesn't it?

From the "Department of Interesting Parallels": There are clearly some things up with which we will not put:

The bitter Democratic Senate primary in Connecticut erupted in fresh controversy Wednesday over a doctored photo of Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman (D-Conn.) in blackface that was posted by a blogger who has been an influential promoter of challenger Ned Lamont.

Lieberman angrily demanded that Lamont denounce the action and sever all ties with Jane Hamsher, the founder of the Web log Firedoglake, who posted the photo on another blog, HuffingtonPost.com.

So ... the unequivocal denunciation by a politician of a supporter who's accused of outright bigotry and racism? Are you sure you want to go down that road? You just never know which innocent bystanders are going to get caught in the crossfire.

This sort of thing HAS to be in DMS-IV.

Dear Charles: Diagnose this, you fucking quack.

Now THAT'S gratitude for you.

Well, you can't say we didn't try:

"We may look back and say we gave it our best shot and we did everything we could do to make it a success. And at the end of the day we could not make [the Iraqi] people accept the gift of freedom."

But I'll bet if you offered them the gift of more electricity and their country back, they'd snap that right up.

Don't let the irony overwhelm you.

Shorter Socialist Gulag: "As a hard-core conservative, let me explain how apparently overt racism is suddenly a bad thing."

At least they understand their audience.

This so explains a whole lot, doesn't it?

Eye-rolling incompetence, once removed.

How pathetic do you have to be to not even write your own smackdowns?

You just can't sneak anything by THESE folks.

Over at Five Points Pub, "montysano" finds the wingnut-o-sphere getting all Gus Grissom over photos of the carnage at Qana, where dozens of civilians were killed by an Israeli air strike, including some 34 children. And how does the wingnut-o-sphere respond?

Not sure if this has been flagged yet, but is it me, or does that pacifier connected to childs shirt by a plastic chain look too clean?

smitty

Ah, yes, one can just imagine the freepers, poring over the pics, "OK, zoom in a bit, magnify ... yeah, top quadrant ... hey, can you filter out the mangled bodies, they're just messing up the colour balance ... great, and ... whoa! check this out! Get a load of that pacifier chain on that corpse! Doesn't that look awfully clean to you? Jackpot!"

Then they all celebrated with Cheet-O's and Dr. Pepper.

Not what you'd call a marketplace of ideas.

Oh, look ... Pete Rempel's evil twin,

Hoist. Petard. You know the rest.

Oh, dear. Apparently, I've been a bad boy:

The use of blood libel techniques aka accusing those pesky Jews of doing something righteous upstanding citizens would never do is raising its ugly head, primarily in Muslim countries but also amongst their useful idiots in the west.

Hmmmmmmm ... accusing someone of "doing something righteous upstanding citizens would never do?" Oh, you mean like the entire wankersphere going totally fucking apeshit over the idea of Hezbollah using missiles packed with ball bearings?" You mean like that?

To paraphrase the article Backseat Blogger is pitching, "Would it be more palatable of [sic] those civilians were killed with missiles that didn't contain ball bearings?"

Just curious.

WAXING PHILOSOPHICAL: There's an old lawyer joke that I've used on a number of occasions, in which the defense attorney claims, "Your Honour, my client couldn't possibly have committed the murder because he wasn't there. But even if he was, he didn't do it. And if he did it, it was an accident. Besides, that son of a bitch had it coming to him."

Consider the excerpt from "Confederate Yankee" that Backseat Blogger seems so enamored of:

White phosphorus munitions are a normal part of the inventory for NATO forces, among others, and there is nothing illegal in their use. Some have complained that white phosphorus weapons are illegally being used against civilians. Would it be more palatable of these civilians were killed with other munitions?

The simple fact of the matter is that Hezbollah, by purposefully integrating their positions into civilian neighborhoods, place the lives of Lebanon’s civilians in danger. Lebanese Shiites that support Hezbollah and allow Hezbollah to build bunkers, storehouses, and sniper nests in their homes should not be surprised or appalled when the Israeli military targets that position.

The arguments are recycled, the evidence contrived; there is no credible evidence that chemical or white phosphorus weapons are being used to target Lebanese civilians, and it is telling that the media are all too willing to be led down this same path of lies again.

Shorter version: "Israel never used phosphorus munitions. But even if they did, they're perfectly legal." Sound vaguely familiar? But it doesn't end there.

Note this particularly dishonest apologetic:

The simple fact of the matter is that Hezbollah, by purposefully integrating their positions into civilian neighborhoods, place the lives of Lebanon’s civilians in danger.

As I made abundantly clear back here to those who are still minimally sentient, it is against the rules of war to target even clearly military targets with incendiary weapons if those targets are in areas that would put civilians at risk. So the whole excuse about Hezbollah hiding in the midst of civilians is a complete non-starter when it comes to justifying the use of incendiaries.

"Israel never used incendiaries. And if they did, they used them only against military targets. Buf if they did use them against civilians, it's because those civilians had it coming to them."

Some arguments never change, do they?

"Cognitive dissonance?" Yeah, I can explain that.

That's when you buy into a thoroughly bizarre conspiracy theory (explained in all of its delightfully delusional wingnuttery here) about how an Israeli attack that killed dozens of children was all a carefully-choreographed, meticulously-staged propaganda stunt while, in that very same article, you happily and credulously swallow whole the idea that three utterly generic photos represent, in some way, the irrefutable, smoking gun proof of one of your favourite paranoid fantasies.

Coming next week: I explain what it means to be clinically batshit crazy, possibly without even needing to find a new blog posting.

Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck versus reality.

First, there's Crazy-Assed Racist Redneck:

The images, obtained exclusively by the Sunday Herald Sun, show Hezbollah using high-density residential areas as launch pads for rockets and heavy-calibre weapons.

Dressed in civilian clothing so they can quickly disappear, the militants carrying automatic assault rifles and ride in on trucks mounted with cannon.

The photographs, from the Christian area of Wadi Chahrour in the east of Beirut, were taken by a visiting journalist and smuggled out by a friend.

Then there's someone who isn't a total dumbass, with a followup here.

I swear, every time I think I've finally identified the Absolute Zero of human stupidity, Kate McMillan comes along and revises the laws of physics.

BONUS TRACK: Hey, is it all right now if we wish for bad things to happen to other people?

The softwood shuffle.

Time for Plan B, Dave?

July 13: 'We should be very clear this agreement will go to Parliament. We do not intend to hand out a veto of that kind [to the Canadian lumber industry]. This agreement will have to be decided on by Parliament'

Yesterday: 'If we do not have sufficient buy-in from industry there really isn't an agreement to bring before Parliament. We have to ... get the agreement supported by the appropriate number of players in the industry. Otherwise, you're dead before arrival'

I'm guessing that David Emerson's biggest challenge these days is just rummaging around to find any remaining principles he can sell out.

Oh, look! Bright shiny thing!

Shorter Right Girl: "When Muslims do terrible things in the name of Islam, that's because Islam is a religion of hate and death. When Christians do terrible things in the name of Christianity ... hey, how 'bout them Raptors?"

AFTERSNARK: It just has to hurt when a convenient talking point bites the big one (emphasis added):

At a time when the Middle East's only democracy is at war for its very survival, bombs are being lobbed from both sides daily, random Muslims are shooting up Jewish community centers full of women ...

I'm sorry ... come again:

Suspect in Jewish Federation shootings recently baptized

Naveed Haq, now widely portrayed as a Muslim American so angry at Israel that he shot up a Jewish charity in Seattle, had recently converted to Christianity...

Last winter, Haq began attending a weekly men's group meeting at the home of a men's ministry leader with the Word of Faith Center, a non-denominational, evangelical church in Kennewick.

The group's leader, Albert Montelongo, said Haq started studying the Bible. In December, he was baptized by Montelongo. The ceremony brought tears to Haq's eyes, Montelongo said.

I'm guessing the story line is going to be that that baptism just didn't quite take. Bummer, that.

(Credit to the lovely and talented TBogg.)

Your daily irony.

You have to smile when a blog entitled "The Spirit of Man -- History, Humanity & Destiny", writes:

Photos of Iranian terrorists on their way to Lebanon.

I am glad they are going to get killed though. We dont need them in Iran.

Yessir, that's the spirit. And the humanity. Let's not forget the humanity.

I love my mother dearly ...

... but, sometimes, she has a bad habit of believing everything she reads, as she just forwarded to me the following bit of fluff that is apparently making the rounds:

ISRAEL IS NOTHING BUT A SHITTY LITTLE COUNTRY?

Middle East has been growing date palms for centuries. The average tree is about 18-20 feet tall and yields about 38 pounds of dates a year.

Israeli date trees are now yielding 400 pounds/year and are short enough to be harvested from the ground or a short ladder.

Israel, the 100th smallest country, with less than 1/1000th of the world's population, can lay claim to the following:

The cell phone was developed in Israel by Israelis working in the Israeli branch of Motorola, which has its largest development center in Israel.

Most of the Windows NT and XP operating systems were developed by Microsoft-Israel.

The Pentium MMX Chip technology was designed in Israel at Intel.

Both the Pentium-4 microprocessor and the Centrino processor were entirely designed, developed and produced in Israel.

The Pentium microprocessor in your computer was most likely made in Israel.

Voice mail technology was developed in Israel.

Both Microsoft and Cisco built their only R&D facilities outside the US in Israel.

The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger, ICQ was developed in 1996 by four young Israelis.

Israel has the fourth largest air force in the world (after the U.S, Russia and China). In addition to a large variety of other aircraft, Israel's air force has an aerial arsenal of over 250 F-16's. This is the largest fleet of F-16 aircraft outside of the U. S.

Israel's $100 billion economy is larger than all of its immediate neighbors combined.

Israel has the highest percentage in the world of home computers per capita.

According to industry officials, Israel designed the airline industry's most impenetrable flight security. US officials now look (finally) to Israel for advice on how to handle airborne security threats.

Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees to the population in the world.

Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation by a large margin - 109 per 10,000 people --as well as one of the highest per capita rates of patents filed.

In proportion to its population, Israel has the largest number of startup companies in the world. In absolute terms, Israel has the largest number of startup companies than any other country in the world, except the U.S. (3,500 companies mostly in hi-tech).

With more than 3,000 high-tech companies and startups, Israel has the highest concentration of hi-tech companies in the world -- apart from the Silicon Valley, U. S. A.

Israel is ranked #2 in the world for venture capital funds right behind the U. S.

Outside the United States and Canada, Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies.

Israel has the highest average living standards in the Middle East.

The per capita income in 2000 was over $17,500, exceeding that of the UK.

On a per capita basis, Israel has the largest number of biotech startups.

Twenty-four per cent of Israel's workforce holds university degrees, ranking third in the industrialized world, after the United States and Holland and 12 per cent hold advanced degrees.

Israel is the only liberal democracy in the Middle East.

In 1984 and 1991, Israel airlifted a total of 22,000 Ethiopian Jews (Operation Solomon) at Risk in Ethiopia, to safety in Israel.

When Golda Meir was elected Prime Minister of Israel in 1969, she became the world's second elected female leader in modern times.

When the U. S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya was bombed in 1998, Israeli rescue teams were on the scene within a day -- and saved three victims from the rubble.

Israel has the third highest rate of entrepreneurship -- and the highest rate among women and among people over 55 - in the world.

Relative to its population, Israel is the largest immigrant-absorbing nation on earth. Immigrants come in search of democracy, religious freedom, and economic opportunity. (Hundreds of thousands from the former Soviet Union)

Israel was the first nation in the world to adopt the Kimberly process, an international standard that certifies diamonds as "conflict free."

Israel has the world's second highest per capita of new books.

Israel is the only country in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in its number of trees, made more remarkable because this was achieved in an area considered mainly desert.

Israel has more museums per capita than any other country.

Israeli scientists developed the first fully computerized, no-radiation, diagnostic instrumentation for breast cancer.

An Israeli company developed a computerized system for ensuring proper administration of medications, thus removing human error from medical treatment. Every year in U. S. hospitals 7,000 patients die from treatment mistakes.

Israel's Givun Imaging developed the first ingestible video camera, so small it fits inside a pill. Used to view the small intestine from the inside, cancer and digestive disorders.

Researchers in Israel developed a new device that directly helps the heart pump blood, an innovation with the potential to save lives among those with heart failure. The new device is synchronized with the camera helps doctors diagnose heart's mechanical operations through a sophisticated system of sensors.

Israel leads the world in the number of scientists and technicians in the workforce, with 145 per 10,000, as opposed to 85 in the U. S., over 70 in Japan, and less than 60 in Germany. With over 25% of its work force employed in technical professions, Israel places first in this category as well.

A new acne treatment developed in Israel, the Clear Light device, produces a high-intensity, ultraviolet-light-free, narrow-band blue light that causes acne bacteria to self-destruct -- all without damaging surrounding skin or tissue.

An Israeli company was the first to develop and install a large-scale solar-powered and fully functional electricity generating plant, in southern California's Mojave Desert.

All the above while engaged in regular wars with an implacable enemy that seeks its destruction and an economy continuously under strain by having to spend more per capita on its own protection than any other country on earth.

And all this with no oil revenue.

With all this, the French ambassador in England says, "Israel is nothing but a shitty little country."

Yes, it's clear that the propaganda wheels are in serious motion. Don't worry, Mom, I'll protect you. That's what I'm here for.

AFTERSNARK: I did reply to Mommie Dearest with a couple of links, including how Israel seems to be doing just fine in terms of growing trees, partially because they keep stealing fully-developed olive groves from the Palestinians through the construction of the "security wall."

I have plenty of links for that, but a quick Google this morning found this new piece:

If the barrier is being built for security, why is so much of the West Bank being confiscated by Israel? Why is the barrier plunging in deep loops into the West Bank to draw far-flung settlements into Israel? Why are thousands of acres of the most fertile farmland and much of the West Bank's aquifers being seized by Israel?

The barrier does not run along the old 1967 border or the 1949 armistice line between Israel and the Arab states, which, in the eyes of the United Nations, delineates Israel and the West Bank. It will contain at least 50% of the West Bank, including the whole of the western mountain aquifer, which supplies the West Bank Palestinians with over half their water. The barrier is the most catastrophic blow to the Palestinians since the 1967 occupation of the West Bank and Gaza.

The barrier itself mocks any claim that it is temporary. It costs $1 million per mile and will run over $2 billion by the time it is completed. It will cut the entire 224-mile length of the West Bank off from Israel, but because of its diversions into the West Bank to incorporate Palestinian land it will be about 400 miles in length. A second barrier is being built on the Jordan River side of the West Bank. To look at a map of the barrier is to miss the point. The barrier interconnects with every other piece of Israeli-stolen real estate in Palestinian territory. And when all the pieces are in place the Israelis will no doubt offer up the little ringed puddles of poverty and despair and misery to the world as a Palestinian state.

The whole thing is worth a read.

BY THE WAY, just to prove that I didn't fall into the discussion yesterday ...