JUXTAPOSE!

40-year-old basement-dwelling Internet troll who declared personal bankruptcy to get out from under my massive judgment against him for malicious defamation now insists he can't imagine being "that much of a bum":

You can't make this stuff up. You just can't.

I CAN'T EVEN ... 40-year-old bankrupt living at home in his parents' basement will now talk smack about ... 40-year-old virgins:

I swear, I feel like I'm being trolled here. This has to be a parody.