Friday, February 23, 2007

Fun with Wankerpedia™.

And over at Pharyngula, the fun just goes on and on and on ...

CC READER CHALLENGE: Find the most absurd "fact" in Wankerpedia™. Via Jon Swift, we can use this as a baseline:

Like all modern animals, modern kangaroos originated in the Middle East and are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood. It has not yet been determined whether kangaroos form a holobarmin with the wallaby, tree-kangaroo, wallaroo, pademelon and quokka, or if all these species are in fact apobaraminic or polybaraminic.

After the Flood, kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land -- as Australia was still for a time connected to the Middle East before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart -- or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.

Top that, suckas.


¢rÄbG®äŠŠ said...

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

Heathen Mike said...

Wow, I figured that Wankerpedia would have its share of retardedness, but I didn't think it was going to set new standards for stupidity. Holy shit.

Now I have to slog through the craptastic depths to find a statment of "fact" that beats the helmet-wearability of yours. Thanks

Zorpheous said...

Man CC, there is enough Wingnuterer Matterial ther for my blog for decade of articles.

I have been trying to view the site, but it soooo slooooooow rrriiiiiggggghhhhhtttttt nnnnnnnnooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

server time out,...

Stupid fundies, get a real server, I expect they are running on WinDoooozzz or are using a DDNS to an adsl box which can't handle the traffic volume they are getting.

I do know some people who home school their kids, fortinately the kids are taught real math and science. For religous studies they learn about the Great Flying Spaggetti Monster (ok I made up that last bit, they just eat it for lunch)

That guy said...

Okay, I don't speak biology, so I'd appreciate it if someone could clarify something for me:

Are the terms "baramin" and its derivatives actual biological terms, or are they some kind of wingnut-speak? Because I've never run across them before.

CC said...

It's wingnut-speak.

That guy said...

Figures. And it's not even real Hebrew, either.

Skeptico said...

A lot of reality-based bloggers have been trying to get outrageous spoof items through. This may be one of them.

I agree it’s hard to tell at times.

¢rÄbG®äŠŠ said...

I have a confession to make. My piece wasn't from that site.

You realize that the insanely slow response time of that shitpedia will become a bragging point. They're absolutely overwhelmed by the demand.

Lindsay Stewart said...


i'm sorry.

i went there.

i could feel.

synaptic degradation.


a vast stupid. so much stupid.

so slow. the coiling stupid.

short bus slow.

just the right speed.

for those that believe in.

dull mountains of crap.

the stupid is cold.

as it creeps.

for the creeps.

Anonymous said...

This one's pretty good.

Currency is a unit of money that facilitates the purchase of goods or services. Each modern nation has one currency, such as the dollar in the United States, the pound in England, and the euro in many countries in the European Union on continental Europe. Many liberals hope for the establishment of a single world currency, which would, of course, undermine the sovereignty of the United States and bring about the Antichrist. Also, Ireland uses the Euro.

Damn liberals!

Jennifer Smith said...

I had to look:

"CANADA - Canada is the second largest country in the world for it's considerable amount of land. It was named Canada because when an explorer came to a Canadian Indian village he asked what this place was called, and they told him "Kanada", which means village in their Indian language. It borders the United States, and most of it's population is in The more southern provinces of Canada."

Horrifying as much for it's abuse of the English language as for its brevity. I wonder what they consider to be the more northern provinces?

I checked 'Belgium' too, but there was nothing.

Anonymous said...

Oh gawd, they're coming up with their own speak now?
Strange things are accelerating at an unusual pace --- Mr Spock to Captain Kirk